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10 Amazing Life Lessons I’ve Learned from Tony Robbins

10 Amazing Life Lessons I’ve Learned from Tony Robbins

Have you ever been to a Tony Robbins event? Thousands of people are screaming “MAKE YOUR MOVE! SAY YES! SAY YES!” The crowd goes wild as the inspirational giant leads everyone into a peak state right before they walk across a bed of fiery, burning hot coals—a metaphorical experience for being unstoppable.

Some people may mistake Tony Robbins’s books, audio programs and seminars as motivational. Although they continue to uplift millions of people around the world, they are much more than merely motivational. But Tony is consulted even more often as a peak performance strategist and I’d say his results back up the title. He’s successfully coached athletes like Andre Agassi, who came from a slump back to #1 in the tennis world, as well as leaders in the financial world like Paul Tudor Jones, whom Tony has worked with for 21 years and who’s made money every single year no matter where the market has been. Tony has also been credited by many people with helping them transform and upgrade their health, psychology, relationships, business and finances—in other words, their lives.

Having attended several of Tony’s seminars and listened to almost every audio program he has, there are 10 amazing life lessons I’ve learned from the man himself. They can be implemented by anyone today to profoundly increase their quality of life.

1. Trade your expectations for appreciations

If you trade your expectations for appreciations, you’ll immediately feel grateful. And it’s when we’re grateful that we feel rich and wealthy, regardless of how our lives look financially or materialistically.

Last week I met my dad’s longtime friend and business partner and he’s got tons of energy despite being at an age where he’d be considered an elderly man. When I asked him what his secret was to having so much energy, he told me that he always counts his blessings. In other words, he cultivates gratitude.

What can you feel grateful for right now? This is a question I learned from Tony that I ask myself often.

2. Where focus goes, energy flows

What we focus on feels real to us in the moment, and whatever we pay more attention to in our lives grows. If we’re focused on how we can add more value to our clients, we’ll consistently find ways to add more value to their lives. If we’re focused on our excuses for why we can’t achieve something, we’ll empower that limiting belief more and more.

Tony’s excellent at guiding the focus of a room full of thousands of people in his seminars, and you can be too. He does this most effectively by asking specific questions. It’s our questions that direct our focus. And when we get to the root of it, we all have at least one primary question that drives our lives, that drives our focus, that directs our energy, and that creates our story and our life.

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Where’s your focus at right now? Where does it need to be to grow and contribute more in your life?

3. Be results-focused rather than activity-focused

When you know the result you’re after, you’ll come up with greater actions to take to get you your results more effectively, efficiently, and rapidly.

I used to be a huge to-do list guy. I’d make one every day when I’d wake up in the morning and cross out my to-dos as I’d progress through my day. I found the to-do list process unfulfilling over time and often overwhelming when I’d have many to-dos. Then I discovered the RPM plan (results-focused, purpose-driven, massive action plan). This planning method and mindset allowed me to increase my results and productivity up to 10 times faster each week. It worked because I knew what my result was, I knew why I wanted it, and I had a high quality massive action plan to get me my result.

What’s the result you’re after right now? What’s your outcome from reading this post? Is it to learn and implement 10 amazing life lessons that can help you grow more in your life? Is it to cure boredom in the moment?

4. A 2 mm change is sometimes all you need

In soccer, the difference between scoring a goal versus missing the goal is within 2 mm. It’s the difference between hitting the sweet spot on the ball rather than coming under the ball making the shot fly over the crossbar.

The same metaphor can be applied to our business, relationships, health, and finances. For example, maybe you get greater conversions from your sales copies when you highlight the benefits. Or maybe you feel more connected with the people you have relationships with when you hug them with a warmer and tighter squeeze. Or maybe you notice that your energy magnifies when you drink wheatgrass juice in the morning rather than a coffee.

What’s the 2 mm change that you can make in your body today to profoundly increase your health and vitality? Business? Relationships? Finances?

5. The Triad: physiology, focus and, language

We can master our emotional states with a specific recipe of how we use our body, focus, and language.

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If you’re standing tall with your chest out, shoulders back, chin up and your fists in the air while you’re focused on an awesome victory and you’re shouting with total joy and pride “I am a champion!” then you will feel like a victorious champ.

If you’re sitting down with your shoulders slumped, your chin down to your chest with your head leaning forward while you’re focusing on how you’ve failed once again and your thinking, “Why am I such a failure?” then you’ll feel like a depressed failure.

Guess what? You can influence how you move your body, what you focus on, and the language you use to describe any moment. That means you can directly influence your emotions, and by being aware of your physiology, focus, and language, you can master your habitual emotions over time.

How’s your posture right now? What are you focusing on? What words are you using to describe your current experience? What can you do to upgrade your emotional state right now with your physiology, focus and language?

6. The 6 human needs

This was possibly one of the top three greatest things I’ve learned from Tony Robbins. No matter where you’re from, what your background or story is, Tony says that there are 6 fundamental human needs that we all share and that drive our lives. We generally value two out of the six needs most and we filter our life choices, decisions, and habits based on meeting these primary needs first. The 6 human needs are…

Certainty—assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure

Uncertainty/Variety—the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli

Significance—feeling unique, important, special or needed

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Connection/Love—a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something

Growth—an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding

Contribution—a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to, and supporting others

One person might meet their needs on a strong level for certainty, variety, significance, and connection through smoking cigarettes. They can feel certain or comfortable from smoking cigarettes whether it’s a habit they’ve had for a long time or because they can feel like they can relax from having a deep exhale. They can feel variety because smoking a cigarette instantly changes your biochemistry and state. They can feel significant if they see smoking as a cool thing to do or being the guy or girl who offers someone a cigarette, and they can feel connection by smoking with others.

Another person can meet those same needs through daily exercise. They can feel certain that they’ll feel great and energized from exercising. They can experience variety through mixing up workouts, through the biochemical change that takes place in their body, and through training different muscle groups. They can experience significance by being someone who values their body and by having a ripped body. They can experience connection and love for themselves for taking great care of their body and by exercising with others.

Tony said that whenever we have a habit, emotion, or thought that meets at least three of our needs on at least a level of 6 out of 10, then we form an addiction. The fastest way to break an addiction is to replace the addiction with a vehicle that meets the needs or more needs in a better way.

Which two needs do you value most right now in your life?

7. Change your story, change your life

We all have stories for our lives. Most of the time, we tell them unconsciously to ourselves and to others. For example, how’s your day been so far? The answer you’re thinking of right now is a story, and the fun part is you have the ability to define your story. You might not be able to change the events and circumstances that happen in your life, but you can certainly choose the meaning for them.

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8. Decisions lead to destiny

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” – Tony Robbins 

It is not our circumstances that define our destiny, rather the decisions we make, because each decision we make leads us to a destination in our lives. There are three decisions we’re always making consciously or subconsciously: what am I going to focus on, what does it mean to me, and what am I going to do about it?

What’s one of the greatest decisions you’ve made in your life? What would your life be like if you didn’t make that decision?

9. The 3 mandates of a leader

The three mandates of a leader start with seeing the situation as it is, not worse than it is. Then seeing it better than it is. And finally, making it the way you want to see it.

I remember when I was 13, I got super inspired to play soccer professionally. At the time, I hadn’t played soccer in years and most of my friends who did had been playing with a club team by then. I went out and played with some friends and realized that my skills at the time weren’t as good as the club players. Rather than give up or think less of myself, I was so inspired by the dream that I clearly asked coaches to give me an evaluation on where my skills stood and what I needed to improve on in order to play on a competitive level club team. Once I knew where I was and had a clear idea of where I wanted to be and how to get there, I took massive action to propel my skills and within a few short years I was playing with an MLS Academy team and invited to play college soccer.

In what area of your life can you practice the three mandates of a leader right now to live a more energy-rich and legendary life? In what area of your life have you been practicing the three mandates?

10. Success leaves clues

Want to accelerate the results you want in your life? Most probably, there’s someone alive who’s achieved what you want. All you need to do is model them and you’ll get the results they got in a much faster time than going through a trial-and-error process.

Tony promotes modeling and immersion training as one of the best and fastest ways to achieve mastery in a skill or area of life.

What’s a result you want in your life right now? Who’s accomplished it? How can you model them to get the result you want now?

And there we have it! That’s 10 amazing lessons I’ve learned from Tony Robbins that have profoundly increased the quality of my life and that I hope will benefit you and your loved ones.

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Last Updated on March 14, 2019

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

How it helps you:

If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

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How it helps you:

Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

How it helps you:

This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

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A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

How it helps you:

One word: hierarchy.

All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

How it helps you:

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Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

6. What do you like about working here?

This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

How it helps you:

You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

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How it helps you:

What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

Making Your Interview Work for You

Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

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Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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