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Why It’s Never Too Late to Change Your Life and Live Differently

Why It’s Never Too Late to Change Your Life and Live Differently

Everyday we live our life in constant motion, and with that motion, there will always be a flow or some kind of change that follows. Some changes we welcome open heartedly, while others we might find ourselves pushing aside to avoid them.

Now, it’s time to ask ourselves the honest question – how often do we limit ourselves from opportunities, experiences, and even give up certain dreams because we’re digging up the most used excuses in the book? How often do we cross things off of our bucket list not because we’ve completed it, but because we’re too fixated on how we’re not able to or capable of doing them?

One time is already too many times.

There is no other force stronger than willpower, and it’s the willpower to either look beyond the obstacles that lay ahead of you, get through it, or walk away not because you are unable to complete it but because plans change.

Plans are meant to change, and so is life. And it’s never too late to change your life.

Here’re the steps to getting rid of the mindset roadblocks and how to achieve the life you’ve always wanted.

3 Mindset Roadblocks to get rid of

1. “I’m Too Old to Start.”

As the saying goes, “age is just a number” and it’s actually just a measurement of time lived.

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We often associate our age as a timeline for our goals.

I want to move to the city by 25. I want to have a successful business by 30. I want to own a house by 35. I want to have traveled to 20 countries by 40…

It’s when our goals aren’t met that the instant feeling of failure comes trickling in. The essence of time is not to be used as a set goal, but instead a guideline.

Life happens all the time and at a different pace than everyone around you. There’s a huge difference between getting distracted with life’s curve balls and letting those moments define you versus becoming aware of them, and finding an alternative route.

At the end, time shouldn’t be the essence of what to accomplish by when, but instead a guideline to show us if we’re on track and if that bucket list is still in alignment to you.

2. “I Don’t Have Enough Money.”

How often do we say, “I don’t have enough money” versus “I have more than enough money?” The phrase “I don’t have enough money” is so common and easily integrated in our daily conversations that we don’t notice the negative effect it has in return. It’s time to change that money script,[1] also known as money blocks.

The relationship and conversations we have with money is actually more impactful on our being than we think, and having a positive mindset about it is key to living the life you truly desire.

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We often let money dictate the way we live our lives, and over time, the yearning and hunger to change our lives becomes more prominent – if not urgent.

An abundance mindset means to focus on what you have now instead of what you don’t have. By focusing your energy on being grateful for the opportunities money can already provide you – including the smartphone or computer which you are currently reading this article – it already changes the conversation you have with it.

Everything in life requires energy. It takes the same amount of energy to talk negatively or positively about your circumstances, so why not take the latter.

3. “I’ll Start Tomorrow.”

Starting tomorrow is always the greatest set back, and by pushing your personal goals to the side, you are subconsciously letting your brain know that it’s not of importance. Your goals always matter and hold value.

First, look and see if it’s a particular habit that is preventing you from going forward with your goals or reflect where you are spending most of your time:

  • Are you saying yes to everything and taking on other people’s projects more than your own?
  • Are you burnt out?
  • Are you feeling overwhelmed that you don’t know where to start?

The first step is always self-awareness.

How to Live Differently

1. Define the What and Why

Think about what’s important to you and why this is the make up of your core:

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  • Are you looking for a change in career? If so, then dig deeper into why you want this career change and what are negotiable and non-negotiables in your new career.
  • Are you looking for more free time to take on creative pursuits? Think about why this has significant value to you, and what you’re willing to give up in your current situation in order to make room for this freedom.
  • Are you looking to start completely new and move to an unfamiliar place? Think about what you like about that particular place and how it taps into your emotions.

In order to live differently, you must be comfortable enough with yourself because it all stems down to the confidence within you.

Your confidence and self awareness is the drive that will push you to make the uncomfortable decisions and navigate uncommon grounds when life tests you. Digging deep and getting to the core of it all can reassure that these new paths are in alignment to your values.

2. Show up as That Version of Yourself

If you want to live differently and feel more successful in your life, you must first begin to show up as that version of yourself.

You have to play the role[2] and you can do this by picturing someone you highly admire. It can be their leadership qualities, how they deal with certain situations, or how they present theirselves and show up daily.

Showing up in this different lifestyle also energetically brings this vision into your reality.

3. Little Makes More of an Impact

When you want to change your life, it’s doesn’t have to be this grandeur moment. Often times, small steps and changes make more of an impact and return.

For instance, if one of your goals is to be healthier and shed some pounds this year, the common route would be to get a gym membership, establish a diet plan, and commit to exercising x times a week. While these are great ways to start, understand that good habits also take some time and patience to form.

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In the meantime, healthier living isn’t only limited to dieting and exercising. It’s taking smaller bite size steps such as cutting sugar from your coffee that can stretch far in the long run.

For example, you usually have your coffee black with one sugar packet. You drink two coffees in one day – one before work and another during work. One sugar packet is equivalent to about four grams of sugar, times the two cups you have daily. In one month alone, you are easily consuming 240 grams of sugar.

Little changes like cutting out sugar in your coffee intake can easily make a greater impact in the future.

Final Thoughts

Remember that it’s never too late to change your life and factors such as age, time, or even experience shouldn’t hinder your yearning to pursue your dreams, projects, and live differently.

As our life continues forward, always remember that you are in constant motion and also in constant control. You are always more ready than you think you are. It comes down to the one life we live and it’s always worth making it a great one.

More Resources About Making Changes in Life

Featured photo credit: Joseph Barrientos via unsplash.com

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Akina Chargualaf

Akina Chargualaf is an entrepreneur, writer, and the content creator of travel and personal development blog Finding Fifth.

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Last Updated on May 28, 2020

How to Survive a Quarter Life Crisis (The Complete Guide)

How to Survive a Quarter Life Crisis (The Complete Guide)

Is there such a thing as a quarter life crisis and could it be the cause of you experiencing a lack of happiness and fulfilment in your life or career right now?

According to popular psychology, a quarter life crisis is a crisis “involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life” which is most commonly experienced in a period ranging from a person’s twenties up to their mid-thirties.[1] It tends to occur after we have finished our schooling and study, when we have settled into everyday life, often at major points or life changing events when we feel we are at a crossroads. We know something must change but we don’t know what or how to begin. It can feel confusing and lonely.

The good news is this is quite a normal experience. With some insight and small steps, you can gain clarity and direction on a way forward.

Firstly, it’s important to realize you are not alone. LinkedIn surveyed thousands of 25 to 33 years olds; the data showed that 75% had experienced a quarter life crisis with the average age being 27.[2]

Our twenties and thirties are nothing like they used to be. There are so many pressures now for people in this age group including having a well-qualified career, a secure relationship and possibly a family. The prospect of owning a home of your own becomes important, yet each year seems to be getting further out of reach, putting further pressure on your income earning capacity and career choice.

Personally, I have experienced both a quarter life crisis and a mid life one and there are similarities between both. Change was instigated for me both times by a difficult life-changing event, because I didn’t understand what I was experiencing or how to change it. Hindsight is a great thing and I sometimes wish I’d had the insights back then that I have now.

When you become aware of what you are experiencing and acknowledge your feelings as perfectly normal, change and transformation flows with more ease as you begin to take the steps to find new direction, happiness and fulfilment.

Here you will find what I consider to be the complete guide. It contains the essential steps I have identified to get clear on your way forward and move through this period of your life with more certainty.

1. Stop Comparing Your Own Quarter Life Crisis to Your Friend’s

Comparing yourself with your friends and peers, noticing their life choices and achievements can lead you to feel inferior and this increases those feelings of pressure and anxiety. You only have to jump online for five minutes and scroll through your newsfeed to see images of couples with children, career and life announcements and they all seem much more satisfied than you.

The truth is that often what you see is not real and they could be experiencing their own crisis too behind the facade. This means you could be comparing yourself with something that doesn’t even exist. What is the point in that?

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If you want to make this easier for yourself, stop accessing social media platforms. You can remove apps from your phone so you have to physically log in. If you need to access certain platforms for work or business, stay away from your newsfeed, even unfollow connections until you have worked through this period of your life.

When you stop comparing, you will notice that the pressure decreases and you will feel more comfort in your current situation. This allows change to unfold at its own pace.

2. Let Go of All the Should’s

If you hear yourself say, “I should be” or “I have to”, you are attempting to live your life by other people’s standards. And now you are aware of this, you will be amazed at how often you use this language.

The thing is, trying to live to others’ standards will never bring you true happiness or fulfilment. Even the use of this language brings a feeling of self-judgement and stress without even taking the actions associated with it. And over time, continually living this way, you will start to feel like your life isn’t your own; and you will lead yourself deeper into crisis as your self-esteem suffers.

If you hear yourself using this language, stop in your tracks. Explore where the thought actually came from and who said you should be doing things that way. Let go of the need to judge yourself according to someone else’s standards and start to think about what you really want instead.

When you let go of all the “I should’s” and start to replace them with your “I wants,” you will notice the feeling of lightness as your self-esteems rises again.

3. Get Clear on What Is Important to You

As you begin to let go of what you thought should be important, you create space to get clear on what is important to you.

Most of the time, like the majority of people, you are living your life unconsciously and unaware of what is really important to you. This means you will find it difficult to make choices that will light you up from the inside.

Dr John Demartini, a long time educator and international expert in human behavior states in his book The Values Factor, that true motivation is inspiration and is present when we are fulfilling our values. And, when we are living according to our truest and most important values is when we are our most fulfilled.

This means it’s important to get ultra clear on your most important values. You can do this simply by looking at what you put most of your time and energy into currently, and the moments in your life when you have felt your most fulfilled. Those moments may have been at any point in your life and may even mean going right back to memories of childhood.

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As you get clearer on what is important to you, you will gain even more clarity on what you truly want for you.

4. Change Your Environment

Feeling stuck can often be exacerbated when we stay in the same place, because our environment can have a huge impact on our state of mind. And, when you are in a stuck state of mind, it can be difficult to see past what you have in your life right now.

This doesn’t mean you need to sell all your belongings and go to live in an ashram for a year, although this may be the thing that feels right for you, and if it is that is okay.

You can gain the same benefits by going on a holiday, going away for a long weekend or even just going for a few day trips into nature, the forest or the beach where you can feel a real connection with self.

When you change your environment, you can change your state and your mindset. You shift yourself out of focusing on feeling dissatisfied with your life right now and shift yourself into thinking about how your life could be.

5. Enter the Dream Room and Ask Yourself “What If?”

There have been many great stories created in The Dream Room.

Walt Disney has been named one of the most remarkably creative, and as you may know one of the most successful individuals of the 20th century. The methods he used for all his creations are still being used today. Each of his creations began in the place called The Dream Room, the place where anything is possible; where there is nothing too absurd, there are no limits and no judgement. This was a place for brainstorming or dream storming as it was called.[3]

I always like to call it the “What if” room, which is a place where you ask yourself the “What if?” questions. This is the place where you can create your own outrageous wish list of what you really want. It doesn’t have to be a physical room; it’s a room you go to in your mind’s eye. This dream space is expansive and the expansion can be increased when you also change your physical environment by going to a place outdoors where you can see the horizon.

Find your space, arm yourself with a journal and pen, and ask yourself these questions:

  • What if anything were possible, what would I do and what would I create for my life?
  • What if life was exactly as I wanted it to be, what would that look like and how would I feel experiencing that?
  • What if I were without fear, what would I aim for?
  • What if I couldn’t possibly fail, how can I see myself doing this?

Dream as you did when you were a child, when you knew without a doubt that anything is possible.

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When you embrace this and allow yourself to dream, you will begin to create the most exciting picture of your next chapter in life.

6. Be Patient and Let Go of Control

Human beings waste so much time trying to control how their lives evolve and if you attempt to rush this dream process, you will find it difficult to gain the clarity you are looking for.

Learn patience, remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day and you are creating your own private empire of what you want for you.

This means that your dream room vision may be created in one day, two weeks or even a year. However long it takes, make it okay for you.

Many of the answers you are searching for are locked in your unconscious mind, things you have forgotten over time while you have possibly been focusing on living the way you thought you should live.

As you start asking the right questions, your answers will begin to come little by little and, will often come when you least expect them.

Carry a small notebook with you or voice record on an app on your phone. Even keep a notebook by your bed for when you first wake up in the morning.

7. Ditch Your Perception of Life Always Being Perfect

Even if we create an exciting vision, we can often get in our own way by our fear of things not working out perfectly.

We see failure before we have even started and hesitate on something that powerfully lights us up on the inside because it’s not the perfect time. Before we know it, years have passed and we are still in the same place. This can cause an even bigger crisis in later years.

Life is always happening perfectly for us; the problem is our perception of perfection is imperfect.

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Over the years, we have made perfection mean everything it really doesn’t. As a society, we have chosen to see perfection as things always lining up perfectly, no mistakes, a flawlessness, always getting the right result and the outcomes we want.

Here’s the thing: the opposite of this is absolutely true.

Life happens perfectly for you all the time. This means all the mistakes you make, all the outcomes you don’t want and not getting things right first time, is absolutely perfect for you at the time. As you make these mistakes, the lessons and growth you receive are vital to you living the life you truly want in the long term.

If at any point, you feel your need for perfection is possibly holding you back, comfort yourself with knowing that whatever the outcome, it’s happening perfectly. You will be exactly where you are meant to be to enable you to eventually live the life of your dreams

8. Make a Stand for You

Often when we make a decision on our future, we can find those closest to us object to our plans, because they want what is best for us; they want us to be happy.

The thing is what they think will make us happy isn’t necessarily what will really make us happy, because their dreams and values are different to ours. This can often make us apprehensive and delay actioning our plans since we don’t want to disappoint them.

This brings to mind something an amazing mentor once said to me, he said, “dogs only bark at what they don’t understand”. To me, this means that if a dog barks, they are not quite sure what is happening and in that uncertainty, they sense danger.

Your loved ones are exactly the same. They don’t understand where you are heading because it’s possibly something they are not familiar with themselves. Or maybe it reminds them of past experiences of their own where things didn’t quite work out the way they wanted them to. They won’t be disappointed in you when you make a stand for what you want. They just love you and want to protect you.

Proudly make a stand for you and your dream. Reassure them that you love them and you will be okay with whatever happens, because life is always happening for you and you are grateful for their support in the life you are choosing.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, no one else’s life, desires or dreams can bring you happiness and fulfilment; only what is important to you and what you really want can do that.

By being patient and kind with yourself as you move through what can be your most exciting life-changing period, you will feel this crisis point end and find clarity on exactly what will light up your life.

More About Life Crisis

Featured photo credit: ZACHARY STAINES via unsplash.com

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