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Feel Anxious in Social Situations? Try These Methods

Feel Anxious in Social Situations? Try These Methods

I entered the restaurant and immediately felt as if everyone is staring at me, judging me and do not approve of my appearance. I sat at the table, which I reserved earlier, thinking I might feel safer, but my paranoia did not stop. My every movement felt awkward. I was praying for my friends to get to the place faster and “protect” me.

These kind of feelings are frequent visitors in my head every time I go to the mall/restaurant/any place full of people. I start thinking that I’m wearing wrong clothes, walk in a funny way, and behave hideously. Next emotions are sadness, depression and a strong desire to get under the blanket and cry my eyes out.

Scientists Define Two Types of Social Anxiety

Scientists say that there are two types of social anxieties:

  • people who fear most social situations (like in my own example above), or
  • people who fear situations where they have to perform (for example job interviews, public speaking etc.).

Both situations may feel like you are having a panic attack: “racing” heart, feeling weak and dizzy, breathing difficulties, feeling sweaty or having chills.

Social Anxiety Hinders Your Life

Social anxiety is underestimated very frequently. However, it can damage a person’s private, work and family life significantly, and should be taken seriously.

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For people who suffer from social anxiety, it is hard to communicate with colleagues, present your work, attend parties and work-related events, and socialize with other parents during school activities.

The list can go on. Hence, the damage can spread around as well.

It should be clear now: this kind of issue should not be ignored and avoided.

How to Get over Social Anxiety

The good news is that we live in a very progressive time, and people with social anxieties can get different kind of help when they just don’t know how to get over social anxiety.

It is important to understand this issue even for those, who does not experience it, because one day they might be faced with a situation where their knowledge might be useful.

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There was a situation not so long ago when I’ve had one of the worst social anxieties in my life, supported by one of the worst panic attacks as well. A friend of mine, who had to deal with this situation, had no idea that this happens to me from time-to-time.

You will be surprised when I say that I felt bad for him more than I did for myself. He had to figure out what to do right there on the spot. Him and I were saved only becasue unconciously he made a few good decisions, and we were able to avoid the more dramatic ending.

There are many well-known ways on how to deal with this kind of issues, and people must be encouraged to try different ways, and practice whichever is more suitable for them.

Yoga

This may sound like a cliché, but yoga helps. Especially the breathing exercises, which is an absolute must when you are doing yoga, have a good long-term impact.

Even if you do not have time to attend yoga classes, there are other convenient alternatives. There are plenty of awesome videos online and you can pick the one with the right duration and right pace.

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Be realistic

Accept the fact that this kind of issue exists in your life.

Many people prefer to suffer and be in denial, making an issue worse day by day.

Do not be afraid of whatever may come next, after your acceptance. No matter what, after you make peace with it, it will only start getting better afterwards. You will be faced with understanding from yourself and from others too.

Practice

Practice facing your fear. Afraid of public speaking? Try it in front of the mirror, and be judgements like to yourself, challenge yourself.

Afraid of interviews? Ask a friend to challenge you with difficult and tricky questions.

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Practice whatever you fear.

Predict

Try to predict your reaction in different situations and how could you handle them right there on the spot.

Keep in mind what kind of thoughts make you calmer. Keep in storage a few happy stories, which happened to you, and which make you smile.

Practice and practice predictions of your emotions.

Therapy

For some people this is a very scary word. Some might think that they are putting in doubt their sanity and reputation. However, we are living in the 21st century and thankfully we come across some very open-minded people.

Nowadays going to therapy is just like going for a walk in the park: relaxing activity, which will give some clarity in your head.

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Last Updated on August 20, 2018

35 Anniversary Ideas to Bring You Closer Together

35 Anniversary Ideas to Bring You Closer Together

Every mature relationship has had a less-than-memorable anniversary. Maybe one of you forgot, or both of you got busy with work, kids, family issues, or something else. Whatever happened, the day came and went without fanfare. And neither of you seemed to notice or much care.

But for the health of any relationship, it’s important to make important days feel special. Anniversaries offer the wonderful opportunity to relive beautiful memories, practice gratefulness for your partner, and to show your love and strengthen your bond. Make this year’s anniversary with your significant other something special  — one that will bring you closer together.

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The best way to create a memorable anniversary is to do something new and different together as a couple. Stretch yourselves a bit.

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While boredom can silently kill a relationship, new experiences reinforce the shared bond you already have and create strong new memories. Just think back to the most significant memories you have right now with your spouse and imagine what new ones you can create!

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While you enjoy your chosen anniversary activity, be sure to keep a positive attitude and make your partner happy too on that day. Leave all arguments and day to day detail behind. Just celebrate your relationship. Whether you’re going to spend the day together at home, getting away, or having a wild and crazy new experience together, you can have your best anniversary yet!

If You’re Staying In

  1. Spend an evening with no technology, just the two of you and maybe a board game. It’s hard to keep ourselves away from our computers and smartphones long enough to have a meaningful conversation. Make a rule not to use your tech and you’ll rekindle your relationship!
  2. Make wine or beer together. If you enjoy drinking together, this is a fun activity to try together. Just remember to buy the necessary equipment ahead of time.
  3. Learn something new about each other. With an open mind, try asking some of the New York Times’ 36 questions that lead to love. They’ll help spark intimacy and will lead to some really honest moments.
  4. Have a lazy day. Breakfasts in bed, spend all day in bed talking and napping. Follow breakfast with champagne and dessert! If you feel like getting more active, cook together or play some games. Here’re some simple breakfast ideas for you.
    • Learn to dance at home. This is best for those active couples who work out together and also enjoy learning something new together. Just go on Youtube to find any music with dance tutorials and learn together.
    • Visit model homes or open houses and plan your dream home.
    • Have a special dessert – champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. Having an unusual treat makes a day feel extra special. If you want to make the dessert really special, try these tasty dessert recipes.
    • Create a playlist of your favorite songs as a couple. Choose songs that tell your story, and songs that you bonded over throughout your relationships. Here’re some love songs ideas for your inspirations.
      • Write your love story. Write it together or ave each of you write your own and then bring them together in an interesting, both sides of the story format.
      • Get a fondue pot. Fondue is a fun way to enjoy melted cheeses (for savory items) and melted chocolate (for sweeter treats).
      • Decorate! Turn your home into a dressed-up french cottage, a sophisticated restaurant, or simply with flowers. The different ambience will immediately change the feel of your home and make it feel like a staycation.
        • Talk about the future together. It might sound simple and everyday, but imagining how you want to spend your retirement together, or planning future trips can be exciting and romantic.

        If You Want to Get Away

        1. Take a day trip together to your favorite spot. If you live in a city, it can be incredibly refreshing to get away for an afternoon and drink in the outdoors.
        2. Go on a scenic drive and stop at a wine and cheese bar. Or, if you’re lucky enough to have lots of options where you live, try a brewpub. There are tons of small craft breweries with fantastic food options too.
        3. Go camping. Relatively affordable and, if the weather’s right, beautiful and romantic.
          • Take an overnight backpacking trip. For the more adventurous couples, backpacking is an even more intense way to challenge yourself physically while becoming one with nature.
          • Take a wine tasting tour. If you live on the West Coast or in the Northeast, take a drive to the nearest winery. Many offer relatively inexpensive tastings and deals if you purchase a certain amount.
          • Take a scenic train trip. Taking the train means less stress traveling: nobody has to drive, you don’t have to stop for breaks every few hours, and you can sleep if you need to!
          • Save up for a destination vacation. What better time than your anniversary to enjoy the beach at a beautiful resort?
          • Explore a new city. Whether you’re on a budget or have a lot saved up, you can have a great time just exploring an unfamiliar town.
          • Rent a cabin for a weekend away, in the woods or next to a lake or ocean. If you like the outdoors but can only take so much nature, try glamping.
            • Go on a retreat. Yoga retreats, meditation retreats, beautiful natural surroundings … they’re all the rage. Search for centeredness and calm with your partner.
            • Spend a day at a food festival. Many cities have fun and affordable food festivals, occasionally based on a theme. Check out your town’s (or a nearby city) calendar for inspiration!

            New & Exciting Experiences

            1. Go spelunking. Dark, damp, and utterly exciting!
            2. Go on a hot air balloon ride. Because the basket is relatively small, this can be a romantic and deeply personal – and yet thrilling –
              experience.
              • Try sky diving. If you and you S.O. are real thrill-seekers, sky diving can really push you to the edge!
              • Explore the underwater world by snorkeling or scuba diving. This may take you far away from where you normally live and work, which is an added bonus.
              • Experience white water rafting.
              • Drive or hike to the highest spot nearby for a new view of the world. America has tons of beautiful mountains where challenging hikes (or drives) can deliver breathtaking views.
              • Take a craft or cooking class. Up your craft skills or food  making skills, and enjoy something new!
                • Take a wine and painting class today. These classes are easily found these days and even a beginning painter can create a nice painting. Challenging but relaxing, fun, and you get to go home with some artwork!
                • Learn to salsa dance. Dancing is a fantastic way to actively get closer and coordinate physically with one another.
                  • Visit a nearby festival you’ve always wanted to go to. Have fun and let go with fellow audience-members!
                  • Spend the day at an amusement park together. Laugh and carry on like teenagers.
                  • Meet new people! At a restaurant, concert, or class, make it a point to meet new friends. Striking up conversation with someone you don’t know – but with whom you have shared interests – can be an adventurous and rewarding experience.

                  Whether your budget is big or small, and whether you have a little or a ton of time together, focus on each other. There are tons of options, in terms of location, level of physical activity, and cost. You can make the day special in a way that’s right for you!

                  Featured photo credit: Photo by Taylor L. Spurgeon on Unsplash via unsplash.com

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