Advertising
Advertising

It Is Time To Forgive Yourself

It Is Time To Forgive Yourself

Life is hard. There will be ups and downs in your life. You may sometimes feel that the decisions and actions you have done are unforgivable. But those are all in the past now and you cannot change them anymore. The most important thing now is to forgive yourself by staying positive and moving on from them.

Mistakes are part of life

It is human nature to make mistakes in life. You cannot find a single person in this world who is free from mistakes. Mistakes are part of life and define who you are as a person.

It is normal for us to feel sorrow and feel regretful over our mistakes. Some mistakes cannot be reversed once they are made. For example, you lost your expensive mobile phone at a place because of your carelessness and now you have to pay loads of money to buy a new one if you want the same type of phone. It is understandable that you would feel sad and angry of yourself for making this mistake.

Advertising

However, this situation can be viewed in a positive note. You can take an important lesson from this mistake and stop grieving over it as you cannot fix that mistake anymore. You are likely to be more careful in the future about your belongings and therefore would lose your things less often than before by taking a lesson from this mistake.

You may have made bigger mistakes than this example in your life but the same principle applies: those mistakes cannot be changed anymore. Therefore, you need to forgive yourself for those mistakes and move on with your life. Forgiving yourself from those mistakes does not mean you are pretending that those mistakes never happened, it means that you have learned lessons from those mistakes to help you become a better person.

Stop comparing yourself to others constantly

If you always compare yourself to others and their achievements, you will always be unsatisfied. You can see successful people everywhere nowadays. A few days ago, I read about a young entrepreneur who became really successful and rich last year after executing his product plan. I would feel unsatisfied and unhappy with my life if I compare myself with that person and question the reasons why I am not as successful or rich as that entrepreneur. I would get angry and unsatisfied at myself for not being at the same level as that person if I keep on comparing. It is important to realize that each person is unique and grew up very differently.

Advertising

Your childhood and upbringing make you very different from each other. All the decisions we made for ourselves helped us shaped into the person we are today. Therefore, we need to forgive ourselves for not being like the person next door or others. If we forgive ourselves and accept that each person’s life experiences are different, then we can live happily in our minds.

Stop being so hard on yourself

Remember that you are not perfect. No one is perfect. Everybody has flaws and things they want to improve about themselves. There will be times where you just do not feel happy and would stray away from your goals and responsibilities.

I once made a goal to get grades of high distinctions for all my classes in university for one semester. When the grades came out, I failed to achieve my goal. Initially, I was angry at myself and could not forgive myself for failing to reach that goal as I had planned that goal very carefully. However, I noticed some positive things when I tried to reflect and analyze some of the reasons why I failed to reach my goal. I noticed that I was more involved in the activities of my college and went to more networking events. It was true that I failed to reach my goal in this case but on the positive note, I have gained some valuable experience and built good networks by going to those events and participating more in the activities of my college.

Advertising

It is important to stop being too harsh on yourself. It is normal for people to fail in things and to become unmotivated to do things.  There will be unexpected roadblocks and challenges that you have to go through that would stray you away from reaching your goals and your targets. Remember to take positive lessons from those times and forgive yourself.

Be proud of your achievements

Sometimes, we tend to forget what we have achieved and done in the past. You would not be where you are today without your actions of the past as they have played a significant role in shaping your life. It is always important to remind yourself of your great achievements in times of your distress. There will always be questions of what ifs but remember that life is hard. Be grateful of what you have done so far to get where you are now. Reminiscing your past achievements will also give you confidence that you can overcome the current challenges you are facing now. You need to forgive yourself for getting into these hard situations and use your knowledge from your past achievements to overcome them.

I have recently graduated from university. Some would say my GPA was not the highest and they could point out many things that I could have done or achieved during my university life. However, university was difficult for me at times and I have faced many challenges during my time there. It is true that there are many things I would do differently if I could go back in time and start my university again, however I am also proud of my achievement of graduating from university and be grateful about it. I forgave myself for not getting a higher GPA and many other things I could have achieved as I know that instead of those things, I have learned some valuable lessons in my life.

Advertising

“Forgive yourself.Life still hold a new chance to become a better person.”
-Lailah Gifty Akita

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

More by this author

Sully Bholat

Founder and CEO of Flexible Pass

It Is Time To Forgive Yourself

Trending in Communication

1 5 Life Lessons I Learned From Dean Winchester 2 How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up 3 How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late 4 50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life 5 A List of 100 Questions to Ask Your Partner on Date Nights

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on October 22, 2018

5 Life Lessons I Learned From Dean Winchester

5 Life Lessons I Learned From Dean Winchester

Is it possible to say anything bad about Supernatural’s co-protagonist, Dean Winchester? I mean, from the very beginning of the show he’s done nothing but save people, hunt things, and look out for his oft-misguided brother Sam, all while putting everyone else’s needs before his own.

Despite a few mishaps and stumbles here and there, Dean really is a great role model (well, excluding his tendency to consume copious amounts of alcohol and spend a bit too much time with a certain adult magazine).

Below, you’ll find a list of just a few of the things that Dean Winchester has taught me about life (beware, spoilers abound)…

1. Always Look Out For Your Family.

DWLL#1-reupbugged

    At the end of the day, all you really have is your family, and thus it’s important not to cut your ties with them unless absolutely necessary. As much as you’d like to think you could do without them sometimes, especially when they’re acting up, it’s a fact that most of us need some sort of support system to keep persevering in our daily lives. That motivation, that drive to succeed, that helping hand when you need it most; it often comes from family. It’s incredibly hard to go it alone in this world, and we should all be thankful for those in our family who make our journeys just a bit easier.

    Dean grew up on the road, and often found himself in difficult circumstances. Without his dad and brother, he’d have been killed, or worse, long ago. Thus, Dean goes to extreme lengths to maintain his relations with what little family he has left.

    His brother therefore is everything to him, so much so that it becomes overbearing to Sam at times (which says more about Sam’s flaws than Dean’s, in my opinion).

    Dean looked out for Sam even when most sane people would turn the other cheek. Heck, he even gave up his soul to resurrect Sam, and later dealt with his brother’s addiction with demon blood in such an understanding manner (given the circumstances) that he probably deserves some kind of award. Later, when Castiel became a permanent fixture on the show, he too became a part of Dean’s family, and as such Dean has looked out for the prodigal angel ever since. Dean is just a supremely loyal guy, who’s insanely protective of the people he loves.

    While you shouldn’t let family members take advantage of you (more on this below), keeping close ties with them and looking out for their best interests is noble indeed.

    Advertising

    2. Take Care Of Your Car.

    Is there anyone better at maintaining a car than Dean Winchester? It seems that all he needs is a few hours and some bicep flexing to get his 1967 Chevy Impala running as well as it did in…well…1967.

    I have absolutely zero sense when it comes to the mechanics of a car, so I admire Dean’s technical prowess. But this goes even deeper than the car. It’s about the symbolism of it all. We all have something we care about in this world more than most. Some may call it a hobby, some may call it an obsession, but you know it as the thing you love doing. For me it might be writing or video games. For Dean it’s his Impala. For my mom, it would be teaching. For you, it could be any number of things.

    As you see in the image above, Dean keeps his nearly fifty year old car looking brand spanking new, something of a miracle judging by how many times it has been wrecked in the show. If we all put that much elbow grease into the things we are obsessed with and care about the most, not only would we be happier, but the world would be a better place as well!

    To put it even more simply, if you love something as much as Dean loves his Impala, take the time to maintain it, to keep it in tip top shape. I know I’m getting abstract here, but if you like writing, that means keep writing!

    Or if you love cooking, keep coming up with new recipes!

    Dean is passionate about his car, and the time he puts into showing that passion is something we should all emulate when it comes to the things we love and are obsessed with.

    3. Being Brave Has Its Benefits.

    Who would have thought that Lucifer could be beaten by a mixture of bravery and brotherly love? Dean’s shown time and time again in Supernatural that he’s willing to risk his life and limb to take down the greatest of evils, whether it be Azazel, Lilith, Alastair, or the Devil himself. On that same note, were would any of us be if we didn’t have a bit of bravery? I know that I personally would be practically nowhere without the tiny amount of courage I’m able to conjure up now and then. Life is difficult, and it takes perseverance and a belief in oneself to make progress.

    For instance, I’m currently applying to a smattering of PhD programs. Frankly, it’s terrifying, putting myself out there to be judged by faceless entities in some of the world’s top universities. But I’m doing it because I know it’s the right thing for my future, no matter how much it hurts to expose myself to possible rejection.

    One thing I noticed while studying history is that great leaders usually aren’t the most intelligent, all-around awesome people in the room. Otherwise, Ben Franklin would have been our first President and Machiavelli’s republic would have worked out. No, the people who blaze a trail into the future are the ones willing to make tough, heat-of-the-moment decisions without knowing what the exact consequences might be.

    Advertising

    Often times, all it takes is a bit of moxy and belief in oneself to accomplish things you thought were impossible. For instance, I thought I could never lecture or teach a class, but when the day finally came I walked through the door, took a deep breath, and just went with it.

    Lo and behold it all went fine! Dean is the epitome of that dive in and ask questions later mentality. It may not always be the smartest move on the chess board, but it’s often the one that results in the swiftest victory.

    While there are certainly benefits to thinking everything through, sometimes the situation calls for an empty mind and bold action.

    4. You Will Lose, What Matters Is How You Deal With It.

    As a way to get my creative juices flowing for this article, I’m listening to Bob Seger’s “Beautiful Loser,” which is one of many songs that could be called Dean Winchester’s theme.

    Indeed, it played at the beginning of season 6 when Dean was still trying to cope with the fact that his brother was “dead” by trying to live a normal suburban life (which to Dean was probably worse than the forty years he spent in hell). Of course, we can all relate just a bit to Mr. Seger’s song, as we all find ourselves down in the dumps at one point or another. What matters it how we react to such adversity. Do we cower, and let our failures consume us, or keep fighting and hope to win in the future? Obviously, the latter choice is the better option.

    A good example I have relates to the basketball player Kobe Bryant, a polarizing figure to say the least. He recently attained the NBA record for most shots missed overall, which sounds bad on paper. But let’s look at the facts. Despite the fact that Kobe failed to make thousands of shots, he didn’t let it bring him down. If he let a bad shooting night or two keep him from being who he is, it’s doubtful he would have won five championships.

    We all lose, and are losers, at some points. Even the best of us. We just need to remember that there’s always a new day tomorrow, that there’s always a chance to make up for past deficiencies, always another opportunity to throw the ball into the basket. You aren’t defined by your failures, but by how you choose to react to them.

    Dean’s probably lost more than any character on Supernatural. He blamed himself for his dad’s death, was unable to keep Sam from going dark side, and unknowingly started the chain of events that led to Lucifer’s release.

    On top of all that, he seems to get his face smashed in by people who are supposed to love him pretty frequently, as you can see by the image used above. Fast forward to season 10, and we’ve seen Dean have to deal fairly consistently with people (read: Sam) who don’t appreciate anything he’s done for them.

    Advertising

    Dean epitomizes the fact that we humans lose, a lot. That doesn’t mean, however, that we have to sit on our laurels and let life beat us down.

    Despite dealing with the lowest of lows, Dean has always risen above in the end and done what’s right. It hasn’t always worked out, but I’d say he’s seen a net positive effect from his actions despite everything he’s been through.

    5. Sometimes You Have To Let It All Out.

    This season, Dean turned into a demon, which removed his humanity and allowed him to go crazy (it involved lots of bar fights and karaoke).

    This version of Dean was all-powerful and snarky to the max. He let everyone have it, especially Sam, who for the past several seasons has treated Dean like an annoyance. Obviously, there’s no way I know of to gain the powers of a demon, and so none of us can let it all out like Dean in the literal sense. But if you’re feeling wronged by somebody, something, or the world as a whole, it’s a great idea to let off some steam every so often.

    This can come in the form of an angry outburst, a lengthy crying session, a prolonged run, a few angry screams at the moon while on an empty beach. Whatever works for you to try and address the pain you’ve been feeling. This doesn’t have to occur very frequently, nor should it. It’s a way to address whatever problems you’ve been dealing with in life in a rapid manner, and come back with a renewed outlook on whatever you were dealing with.

    Sometimes everyone, even someone with as perfect of a personality as Dean Winchester, has to let out their demons, literally or figuratively.

    You can’t just bottle it up all of the time. Dean tried to do this, and it only sparked the series of events that led to him becoming a demon.

    In my opinion, Dean’s time on the dark side was good for him and his loved ones, as they got to hear just how much they’d been taking advantage of his loyalty and trust all these years.

    So there you have it. Dean isn’t just on Supernatural to be a pretty face. He’s there to represent the kind of flawed human with good intentions that we all aspire to be.

    Advertising

    Though his brother Sam has shown flashes of this as well, Dean really is the one who exudes the kind of loyalty, care, and resiliency that I and others envy.

    After 9 seasons of looking out for literally everyone, I think that Dean’s time as a demon was a breath of fresh air for the character.

    Will this form of his return?

    I hope so, because Dean deserves more than two episodes to rail against all of the people who stepped on him for years.

    Are you a Dean Winchester fan? Or just a fan of Supernatural?

    No matter which, or even none, you can benefit from the lessons the character teaches us!

    Featured photo credit: Dean Winchester/sandrieliribeiro via flickr.com

    Read Next