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It Is Time To Forgive Yourself

It Is Time To Forgive Yourself

Life is hard. There will be ups and downs in your life. You may sometimes feel that the decisions and actions you have done are unforgivable. But those are all in the past now and you cannot change them anymore. The most important thing now is to forgive yourself by staying positive and moving on from them.

Mistakes are part of life

It is human nature to make mistakes in life. You cannot find a single person in this world who is free from mistakes. Mistakes are part of life and define who you are as a person.

It is normal for us to feel sorrow and feel regretful over our mistakes. Some mistakes cannot be reversed once they are made. For example, you lost your expensive mobile phone at a place because of your carelessness and now you have to pay loads of money to buy a new one if you want the same type of phone. It is understandable that you would feel sad and angry of yourself for making this mistake.

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However, this situation can be viewed in a positive note. You can take an important lesson from this mistake and stop grieving over it as you cannot fix that mistake anymore. You are likely to be more careful in the future about your belongings and therefore would lose your things less often than before by taking a lesson from this mistake.

You may have made bigger mistakes than this example in your life but the same principle applies: those mistakes cannot be changed anymore. Therefore, you need to forgive yourself for those mistakes and move on with your life. Forgiving yourself from those mistakes does not mean you are pretending that those mistakes never happened, it means that you have learned lessons from those mistakes to help you become a better person.

Stop comparing yourself to others constantly

If you always compare yourself to others and their achievements, you will always be unsatisfied. You can see successful people everywhere nowadays. A few days ago, I read about a young entrepreneur who became really successful and rich last year after executing his product plan. I would feel unsatisfied and unhappy with my life if I compare myself with that person and question the reasons why I am not as successful or rich as that entrepreneur. I would get angry and unsatisfied at myself for not being at the same level as that person if I keep on comparing. It is important to realize that each person is unique and grew up very differently.

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Your childhood and upbringing make you very different from each other. All the decisions we made for ourselves helped us shaped into the person we are today. Therefore, we need to forgive ourselves for not being like the person next door or others. If we forgive ourselves and accept that each person’s life experiences are different, then we can live happily in our minds.

Stop being so hard on yourself

Remember that you are not perfect. No one is perfect. Everybody has flaws and things they want to improve about themselves. There will be times where you just do not feel happy and would stray away from your goals and responsibilities.

I once made a goal to get grades of high distinctions for all my classes in university for one semester. When the grades came out, I failed to achieve my goal. Initially, I was angry at myself and could not forgive myself for failing to reach that goal as I had planned that goal very carefully. However, I noticed some positive things when I tried to reflect and analyze some of the reasons why I failed to reach my goal. I noticed that I was more involved in the activities of my college and went to more networking events. It was true that I failed to reach my goal in this case but on the positive note, I have gained some valuable experience and built good networks by going to those events and participating more in the activities of my college.

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It is important to stop being too harsh on yourself. It is normal for people to fail in things and to become unmotivated to do things.  There will be unexpected roadblocks and challenges that you have to go through that would stray you away from reaching your goals and your targets. Remember to take positive lessons from those times and forgive yourself.

Be proud of your achievements

Sometimes, we tend to forget what we have achieved and done in the past. You would not be where you are today without your actions of the past as they have played a significant role in shaping your life. It is always important to remind yourself of your great achievements in times of your distress. There will always be questions of what ifs but remember that life is hard. Be grateful of what you have done so far to get where you are now. Reminiscing your past achievements will also give you confidence that you can overcome the current challenges you are facing now. You need to forgive yourself for getting into these hard situations and use your knowledge from your past achievements to overcome them.

I have recently graduated from university. Some would say my GPA was not the highest and they could point out many things that I could have done or achieved during my university life. However, university was difficult for me at times and I have faced many challenges during my time there. It is true that there are many things I would do differently if I could go back in time and start my university again, however I am also proud of my achievement of graduating from university and be grateful about it. I forgave myself for not getting a higher GPA and many other things I could have achieved as I know that instead of those things, I have learned some valuable lessons in my life.

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“Forgive yourself.Life still hold a new chance to become a better person.”
-Lailah Gifty Akita

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Sully Bholat

Founder and CEO of Flexible Pass

It Is Time To Forgive Yourself

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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