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It Is Time To Forgive Yourself

It Is Time To Forgive Yourself

Life is hard. There will be ups and downs in your life. You may sometimes feel that the decisions and actions you have done are unforgivable. But those are all in the past now and you cannot change them anymore. The most important thing now is to forgive yourself by staying positive and moving on from them.

Mistakes are part of life

It is human nature to make mistakes in life. You cannot find a single person in this world who is free from mistakes. Mistakes are part of life and define who you are as a person.

It is normal for us to feel sorrow and feel regretful over our mistakes. Some mistakes cannot be reversed once they are made. For example, you lost your expensive mobile phone at a place because of your carelessness and now you have to pay loads of money to buy a new one if you want the same type of phone. It is understandable that you would feel sad and angry of yourself for making this mistake.

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However, this situation can be viewed in a positive note. You can take an important lesson from this mistake and stop grieving over it as you cannot fix that mistake anymore. You are likely to be more careful in the future about your belongings and therefore would lose your things less often than before by taking a lesson from this mistake.

You may have made bigger mistakes than this example in your life but the same principle applies: those mistakes cannot be changed anymore. Therefore, you need to forgive yourself for those mistakes and move on with your life. Forgiving yourself from those mistakes does not mean you are pretending that those mistakes never happened, it means that you have learned lessons from those mistakes to help you become a better person.

Stop comparing yourself to others constantly

If you always compare yourself to others and their achievements, you will always be unsatisfied. You can see successful people everywhere nowadays. A few days ago, I read about a young entrepreneur who became really successful and rich last year after executing his product plan. I would feel unsatisfied and unhappy with my life if I compare myself with that person and question the reasons why I am not as successful or rich as that entrepreneur. I would get angry and unsatisfied at myself for not being at the same level as that person if I keep on comparing. It is important to realize that each person is unique and grew up very differently.

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Your childhood and upbringing make you very different from each other. All the decisions we made for ourselves helped us shaped into the person we are today. Therefore, we need to forgive ourselves for not being like the person next door or others. If we forgive ourselves and accept that each person’s life experiences are different, then we can live happily in our minds.

Stop being so hard on yourself

Remember that you are not perfect. No one is perfect. Everybody has flaws and things they want to improve about themselves. There will be times where you just do not feel happy and would stray away from your goals and responsibilities.

I once made a goal to get grades of high distinctions for all my classes in university for one semester. When the grades came out, I failed to achieve my goal. Initially, I was angry at myself and could not forgive myself for failing to reach that goal as I had planned that goal very carefully. However, I noticed some positive things when I tried to reflect and analyze some of the reasons why I failed to reach my goal. I noticed that I was more involved in the activities of my college and went to more networking events. It was true that I failed to reach my goal in this case but on the positive note, I have gained some valuable experience and built good networks by going to those events and participating more in the activities of my college.

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It is important to stop being too harsh on yourself. It is normal for people to fail in things and to become unmotivated to do things.  There will be unexpected roadblocks and challenges that you have to go through that would stray you away from reaching your goals and your targets. Remember to take positive lessons from those times and forgive yourself.

Be proud of your achievements

Sometimes, we tend to forget what we have achieved and done in the past. You would not be where you are today without your actions of the past as they have played a significant role in shaping your life. It is always important to remind yourself of your great achievements in times of your distress. There will always be questions of what ifs but remember that life is hard. Be grateful of what you have done so far to get where you are now. Reminiscing your past achievements will also give you confidence that you can overcome the current challenges you are facing now. You need to forgive yourself for getting into these hard situations and use your knowledge from your past achievements to overcome them.

I have recently graduated from university. Some would say my GPA was not the highest and they could point out many things that I could have done or achieved during my university life. However, university was difficult for me at times and I have faced many challenges during my time there. It is true that there are many things I would do differently if I could go back in time and start my university again, however I am also proud of my achievement of graduating from university and be grateful about it. I forgave myself for not getting a higher GPA and many other things I could have achieved as I know that instead of those things, I have learned some valuable lessons in my life.

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“Forgive yourself.Life still hold a new chance to become a better person.”
-Lailah Gifty Akita

Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Sully Bholat

Founder and CEO of Flexible Pass

It Is Time To Forgive Yourself

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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