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11 Things You Need to Forgive Yourself For

11 Things You Need to Forgive Yourself For

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” –Gandhi

Grudges and bitterness are like poison: if you let them, they will fester and hold you back until you don’t even recognize yourself anymore.

Humans are prideful beings, which is one of the reasons why it is so difficult to let go of wrongdoings, rejection, and hurt. However, the moment you allow a hurt to fester, you give the circumstance greater control over you than you have over yourself.

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Hence, we should always choose forgiveness. Here are 11 things you should always forgive yourself for.

1. Forgive yourself for your past.

It is very easy to let past mistakes fester and clog the present moment; however, this is the fastest road to depression and unease. It is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, it’s all about how gracefully you can learn from them and brace yourself for future experiences.

2. Forgive yourself for your failed relationships.

Matters of the heart are no easy matter. If you let them, they will hold you back from future love opportunities and living life to your potential. The trick is to focus on the present – not the past mistakes you have made – so that you can build yourself an even better future.

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3. Forgive yourself for your weaknesses.

Day could not exist without night; nor light without dark. In the same way, we would not know our strengths without our weaknesses. We should embrace our imperfections, and learn to accept ourselves for all that we are. Acceptance is key.

4. Forgive yourself for your insignificant mistakes.

Did you accidentally cut someone off today on your commute to work? Snap at your significant other? Trip over your shoelace? Relax. There are worse things that could happen – find the humor!

5. Forgive yourself for the people you have judged.

People are so different, from introverts to extroverts, to hippie art freaks to conventional Joes. These differences make it ever so easy to misunderstand and judge another person for a trait that may just be different from behaviors that fall within your norm. Everyone does it, so don’t sweat it.

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6. Forgive yourself for your lost hopes or dreams.

There is always time to invest in dreams even if you have not invested in them a whole lot yet. Let go of the regret on what you could have or should have been doing and take those first steps towards your goal.  No matter how tiny your steps are, as long as you’re putting in a little work, your hopes and dreams never die.

7. Forgive yourself for your self-criticism.

At times we can be our own worst critics, but fear not, we all do it. Instead of dwelling on this fact, learn to recognize negative self-talk and stop it in its tracks.

8. Forgive yourself for burned bridges.

As people change, relationships often change. Sometimes burned bridges are necessary for mental health.  But even when they are not, there is almost always a way to mend teetering relationships.

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9. Forgive yourself for your shortcomings at work.

No one can be good at everything; it’s high time that we recognize this, not only in our personal lives, but also at work. Instead of focusing on what you are bad at, put your focus on your work strengths instead.

10. Forgive yourself for times of selfishness.

Everyone needs to be selfish sometimes, whether this is in the process of pursuing dreams, self-development, or career change; this is nothing to feel ashamed about.

11. Forgive yourself for moments of laziness.

No one can be productive all the time.  If there are times (like say, on a Sunday afternoon) that you can’t help but lounge around in your PJ’s watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother, let go of your guilt and relax with no shame.

More by this author

Alli Page

Allie is a pessimist-turned-optimist healthy food junkie who blogs about happiness, healthy living and travel.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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