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11 Things You Need to Forgive Yourself For

11 Things You Need to Forgive Yourself For

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” –Gandhi

Grudges and bitterness are like poison: if you let them, they will fester and hold you back until you don’t even recognize yourself anymore.

Humans are prideful beings, which is one of the reasons why it is so difficult to let go of wrongdoings, rejection, and hurt. However, the moment you allow a hurt to fester, you give the circumstance greater control over you than you have over yourself.

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Hence, we should always choose forgiveness. Here are 11 things you should always forgive yourself for.

1. Forgive yourself for your past.

It is very easy to let past mistakes fester and clog the present moment; however, this is the fastest road to depression and unease. It is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, it’s all about how gracefully you can learn from them and brace yourself for future experiences.

2. Forgive yourself for your failed relationships.

Matters of the heart are no easy matter. If you let them, they will hold you back from future love opportunities and living life to your potential. The trick is to focus on the present – not the past mistakes you have made – so that you can build yourself an even better future.

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3. Forgive yourself for your weaknesses.

Day could not exist without night; nor light without dark. In the same way, we would not know our strengths without our weaknesses. We should embrace our imperfections, and learn to accept ourselves for all that we are. Acceptance is key.

4. Forgive yourself for your insignificant mistakes.

Did you accidentally cut someone off today on your commute to work? Snap at your significant other? Trip over your shoelace? Relax. There are worse things that could happen – find the humor!

5. Forgive yourself for the people you have judged.

People are so different, from introverts to extroverts, to hippie art freaks to conventional Joes. These differences make it ever so easy to misunderstand and judge another person for a trait that may just be different from behaviors that fall within your norm. Everyone does it, so don’t sweat it.

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6. Forgive yourself for your lost hopes or dreams.

There is always time to invest in dreams even if you have not invested in them a whole lot yet. Let go of the regret on what you could have or should have been doing and take those first steps towards your goal.  No matter how tiny your steps are, as long as you’re putting in a little work, your hopes and dreams never die.

7. Forgive yourself for your self-criticism.

At times we can be our own worst critics, but fear not, we all do it. Instead of dwelling on this fact, learn to recognize negative self-talk and stop it in its tracks.

8. Forgive yourself for burned bridges.

As people change, relationships often change. Sometimes burned bridges are necessary for mental health.  But even when they are not, there is almost always a way to mend teetering relationships.

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9. Forgive yourself for your shortcomings at work.

No one can be good at everything; it’s high time that we recognize this, not only in our personal lives, but also at work. Instead of focusing on what you are bad at, put your focus on your work strengths instead.

10. Forgive yourself for times of selfishness.

Everyone needs to be selfish sometimes, whether this is in the process of pursuing dreams, self-development, or career change; this is nothing to feel ashamed about.

11. Forgive yourself for moments of laziness.

No one can be productive all the time.  If there are times (like say, on a Sunday afternoon) that you can’t help but lounge around in your PJ’s watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother, let go of your guilt and relax with no shame.

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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