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11 Things You Need to Forgive Yourself For

11 Things You Need to Forgive Yourself For

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” –Gandhi

Grudges and bitterness are like poison: if you let them, they will fester and hold you back until you don’t even recognize yourself anymore.

Humans are prideful beings, which is one of the reasons why it is so difficult to let go of wrongdoings, rejection, and hurt. However, the moment you allow a hurt to fester, you give the circumstance greater control over you than you have over yourself.

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Hence, we should always choose forgiveness. Here are 11 things you should always forgive yourself for.

1. Forgive yourself for your past.

It is very easy to let past mistakes fester and clog the present moment; however, this is the fastest road to depression and unease. It is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, it’s all about how gracefully you can learn from them and brace yourself for future experiences.

2. Forgive yourself for your failed relationships.

Matters of the heart are no easy matter. If you let them, they will hold you back from future love opportunities and living life to your potential. The trick is to focus on the present – not the past mistakes you have made – so that you can build yourself an even better future.

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3. Forgive yourself for your weaknesses.

Day could not exist without night; nor light without dark. In the same way, we would not know our strengths without our weaknesses. We should embrace our imperfections, and learn to accept ourselves for all that we are. Acceptance is key.

4. Forgive yourself for your insignificant mistakes.

Did you accidentally cut someone off today on your commute to work? Snap at your significant other? Trip over your shoelace? Relax. There are worse things that could happen – find the humor!

5. Forgive yourself for the people you have judged.

People are so different, from introverts to extroverts, to hippie art freaks to conventional Joes. These differences make it ever so easy to misunderstand and judge another person for a trait that may just be different from behaviors that fall within your norm. Everyone does it, so don’t sweat it.

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6. Forgive yourself for your lost hopes or dreams.

There is always time to invest in dreams even if you have not invested in them a whole lot yet. Let go of the regret on what you could have or should have been doing and take those first steps towards your goal.  No matter how tiny your steps are, as long as you’re putting in a little work, your hopes and dreams never die.

7. Forgive yourself for your self-criticism.

At times we can be our own worst critics, but fear not, we all do it. Instead of dwelling on this fact, learn to recognize negative self-talk and stop it in its tracks.

8. Forgive yourself for burned bridges.

As people change, relationships often change. Sometimes burned bridges are necessary for mental health.  But even when they are not, there is almost always a way to mend teetering relationships.

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9. Forgive yourself for your shortcomings at work.

No one can be good at everything; it’s high time that we recognize this, not only in our personal lives, but also at work. Instead of focusing on what you are bad at, put your focus on your work strengths instead.

10. Forgive yourself for times of selfishness.

Everyone needs to be selfish sometimes, whether this is in the process of pursuing dreams, self-development, or career change; this is nothing to feel ashamed about.

11. Forgive yourself for moments of laziness.

No one can be productive all the time.  If there are times (like say, on a Sunday afternoon) that you can’t help but lounge around in your PJ’s watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother, let go of your guilt and relax with no shame.

More by this author

Alli Page

Allie is a pessimist-turned-optimist healthy food junkie who blogs about happiness, healthy living and travel.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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