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12 Hard Truths About Success That Anyone Who Aims For the Stars Should Know

12 Hard Truths About Success That Anyone Who Aims For the Stars Should Know

Most of us felt like a little child lost in the big world when we were starting out with our careers. The way we define success is based on the people we look up to. Yet truth be told, there are so many other things in between that most of us do not know exists in the workplace until we experience it firsthand. For those starting out in the work field, the following list will let you have a glimpse of what to expect on your way to success. Here is the list:

  1. People who complain the most at work usually get the most. This possibly is the biggest irony among lists like these but this is true most of the time. People who complain a lot tend to have the raise or even get the promotion. Does that sound like life is fair?
  2. Bosses play favorites. Whether it is a sycophant colleague or your boss simply being too gullible to care, one colleague will be your boss’s favorite. You have to learn to deal with this and plan accordingly by attracting the attention of your boss right away.
  3. You’ll hit at least one but most likely two big tragedies in your life while working. Whether it is a loss of a family or you were diagnosed with a chronic disease, it can most likely happen while you are working for the same company in 20+ years.
  4. Some of the most successful people have the worst personal lives. This may ring true to some extent due to too much time spent at work. Most people will neglect family and everything else and have their time and energy all to their career.
  5. There will be days when you think of work first, before your children. Life can be overwhelming especially if you have a problem at work that has not yet been resolved and so it gets the best of you. Most of the time, your concern for work equates that of someone you love dearly –your children.
  6. Everyone uses their children as an excuse to get out of work at least three times a year. “I’m taking my kid to the doctor” or “I need to be at my child’s school play” are probably two of the most used excuses to get a break from work. There is nothing wrong with this as long as you don’t take it too far — like by saying your child is ill when they are not.
  7. The older you get, the more you’ll understand what discrimination means. When there are new employees in the company, expect that you will be an outcast. Talk about the generation gap, eh?
  8. About 5 percent of the people in your office are tough to understand. These people are everywhere. They are the ones that want to be alone in the corner. You can never ask them to accompany you to get a cup of coffee during the break or get to eat outside after work. You know their answer; it will always be a “No, thank you. I’m fine.”
  9. People rarely do anything for you, whether it’s investing in your company or promoting you, because of the reason you think. With age comes wisdom. The longer you are with people, the easier for you to read them. Sometimes you get that promotion for a reason other than what you think is fair — but you still got it right?
  10. People often reject the things you want for precisely the reason you think. They’ll just never tell you. When you have been working in the same company and with the same people for a long time, you know everyone’s ins and outs, the good and the bad. Your hunch doesn’t work here subconsciously but you can already read your colleagues’ minds.
  11. The most important factor to whether your company will be successful or not is access to capital. A company that has a sure access to capital can take calculated risk thus can result in your company’s success. On the other hand, without the means to a capital, it will never take any risks leaving it at the platform it used to be when you were starting.
  12. You will have to draw a line with coworkers when it comes to socializing. When you socialize with coworkers, you will have to draw a line because you never know if you current ‘friend’ will turn into your new boss. Every company is different but you never know when someone you socialize with will become your boss.

Featured photo credit: Success Starts Here Freeway Style Desert Landscape.jpg By FlashBuddy via morguefile.com

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

Invaluable Lessons You Can Learn From Your Mistakes

Invaluable Lessons You Can Learn From Your Mistakes

Do you like making mistakes?

I certainly don’t.

Making mistakes is inevitable. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could be at ease with them?

Perhaps there is a way to think of them differently and see their benefits.

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Why Mistakes Feel Dangerous

Mistakes often feel dangerous. Throughout human history, our errors have often been treated as dangerous for a variety of reasons:

  • Our vulnerability. We have limited and fragile support systems. When those systems fail, people often lose their lives.
  • Real dangers. Nature can be dangerous, and making mistakes can put us at the mercy of nature and its animal residents seeking a meal.
  • Ignorance. Many cultures scapegoats someone whenever there is a failure of some kind. Scapegoating can be serious and deadly.
  • Order. Many societies punish those who do not conform to the prevailing orthodoxy and treat difference and non-conformity as a mistake. Even our brains flash an error message whenever we go against prevailing social norms.

We have a history of handling mistakes and failure in an unpleasant way. Since each of us carries our human history with us, it can be a challenge to overcome the fear of making mistakes.

If we can embrace the reality of mistakes, we can free ourselves to be more creative in our lives and dig up some interesting insights.

Why We Can’t Avoid Making Mistakes

Many people operate under the notion that making mistakes is an aberration, a mistake if you will. You can call it perfectionism but it is a more substantial problem. It is really a demand for order and continuity.

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When we think we can eliminate mistakes, we are often working from a perspective that sees the world as a fixed place. The world, however, is not so obliging. Like it or not, the world, and everything in it, is constantly changing.

Change is more constant and pervasive than we can see with our own eyes which is why we often miss it. Our bodies are constantly changing. The natural conditions of the earth change constantly as well. Everything, including economic and cultural systems have life cycles. Everything is in a constant state of flux.

We cannot see all of the changes going on around us since rates of change vary. Unfortunately, when we try to create a feeling of certainty and solidity in our lives or operate from the illusion of stability and order, we are fighting reality and our natural evolution which is built on adapting to change.

It is better to continually bend into this reality rather than fight every change we experience. Fighting it can cause us to make more mistakes. Finding the benefits in change can be useful and help us minimize unnecessary mistakes.

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Lessons Learned from Making Mistakes

Life has so many uncertainties and variables that mistakes are inevitable. Fortunately, there are many things you can learn from making mistakes.

Here is a list of ways to harness the mistakes you make for your benefit.

  1. Point us to something we did not know.
  2. Reveal a nuance we missed.
  3. Deepen our knowledge.
  4. Tell us something about our skill levels.
  5. Help us see what matters and what does not.
  6. Inform us more about our values.
  7. Teach us more about others.
  8. Let us recognize changing circumstances.
  9. Show us when someone else has changed.
  10. Keep us connected to what works and what doesn’t work.
  11. Remind us of our humanity.
  12. Spur us to want to better work which helps us all.
  13. Promote compassion for ourselves and others.
  14. Teach us to value forgiveness.
  15. Help us to pace ourselves better.
  16. Invite us to better choices.
  17. Can teach us how to experiment.
  18. Can reveal a new insight.
  19. Can suggest new options we had not considered.
  20. Can serve as a warning.
  21. Show us hidden fault lines in our lives which can lead us to more productive arrangements.
  22. Point out structural problems in our lives.
  23. Prompt us to learn more about ourselves.
  24. Remind us how we are like others.
  25. Make us more humble.
  26. Help us rectify injustices in our lives.
  27. Show us where to create more balance in our lives.
  28. Tell us when the time to move on has occurred.
  29. Reveal where our passion is and where it is not.
  30. Expose our true feelings.
  31. Bring out problems in a relationship.
  32. Can be a red flag for our misjudgments.
  33. Point us in a more creative direction.
  34. Show us when we are not listening.
  35. Wake us up to our authentic selves.
  36. Can create distance with someone else.
  37. Slow us down when we need to.
  38. Can hasten change.
  39. Reveal our blind spots.
  40. Are the invisible made visible.

Reframe Reality to Handle Mistakes More Easily

The secret to handling mistakes is to:

  • Expect them as part of the process of growth and development.
  • Have an experimental mindset.
  • Think in evolutional rather than fixed terms.

When we accept change as the natural structure of the world, our vulnerability and humanness lets us work with the ebb and flow of life.

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When we recognize the inevitability of mistakes as part of the ongoing experiment which life is, then we can relax more. In doing so we may make fewer of them.

It also helps to keep in mind that trial and error is an organic natural way of living. It is how we have evolved over time. It is better to be with our natural evolution than to fight it and make life harder.

When we adopt an evolutional mindset and see ourselves as part of the ongoing human experiment, we can appreciate that all that has been built up over time which includes the many mistakes our ancestors have made over thousands of years. Each one of us today is a part of that human tradition of learning and experimenting,

Mistakes are part of the trial and error, experimental nature of life. The more you adopt the experimental, evolutional frame, the easier it becomes to handle mistakes.

Handling mistakes well can help you relax and enjoy all aspects of life more.

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Featured photo credit: Sarah Kilian via unsplash.com

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