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5 Phrases Excellent Communicators Always Use At Work

5 Phrases Excellent Communicators Always Use At Work

If you are good at your job, solve problems and can meet deadlines, you may think that is enough. According to a National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE) survey, there is something missing. Effective communication skills are vital and are at the top of their list.

They list the top 5: communication skills, analytical skills, teamwork skills, technical skills and strong work ethic that employers are looking for. Not that leaders and managers are doing so well on the communication skills battlefront either. They often have to deal with the rather nasty consequences of poor communication when productivity and morale plummet, not to mention lawsuits, some of which stem from a simple breakdown in communication.

“Communication heals most wounds, but when you are amongst those with hidden agendas, they are more like viruses and difficult to cure.”- Glenn Llopis, Forbes magazine contributor.

Here are 5 phrases that skillful communicators will use with maximum effect in the workplace.

1. “Have you had a situation where that strategy worked?”

This is ten thousand times more effective than “No, I honestly think that would not work.” An excellent communicator knows she has to show a certain openness to new ideas. Asking for details of past experience shows a desire to build a team and make joint decisions without destroying trust or morale.

2. “Tell me more, that sounds really interesting”

If the coworker says this, it shows a willingness to listen which is one of the pillars of effective communication. If he chooses to say “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me,” he is sending a very strong signal that it is his turn to speak and he has a better idea/proposal/ example to talk about. It is also saying that he wants to dominate the discussion. All these are the telltale signs of a very poor communicator. You can tell that this person is hardly listening at all as he prepares his own perfect example.

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3. “What do you mean when you say…?”

A manager or colleague can give feedback in many ways and they can also repeat exactly what the team member has just said. This sounds rather false. A much better approach is to use the above question and ask more questions to clarify other issues, outcomes and consequences. Also, show that you have really listened at the end by recalling a few of the points raised in a fresh sentence or in action points, if they are feasible.

Skilled communicators will be paying attention to the non-verbal signals they are sending as well. They will avoid crossed arms and look to maintain eye contact. They are not afraid to use appropriate touching. They know that touch is the most powerful of all the non verbal cues.

Did you know that body language conveys more meaning than the actual words we use? Albert Mehrabian is a psychologist who has done some interesting research on this. The message is not so much -watch your language as watch your body language.

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4. “Let me know why you were behind on that deadline so that we can get back on track.”

The clever communicator knows that ticking off a person with “You should work harder at meeting deadlines” is missing the mark almost entirely and comes across as unhelpful. A much better idea is to offer a solution or help to find out what the real problem is. Making suggestions and offering advice is a great way to build bridges which is what communication is all about.

5. “Here are a few points you need to work on before the next sales presentation.”

Very often, critical comments such as “ I’m really disappointed your sales presentation went badly” will be taken as a personal attack and will cause resentment and poor performance. An excellent communicator knows that keeping emotion and opinions out of the equation are far more effective. She starts by praising any good points then gently suggests changes for the next time round. This works just as well when carrying out performance assessments too.

Finally, don’t forget that an over-reliance on email and technology may destroy the wonderful art of communication. Texts and emails are fine for conveying information but when it comes to actually dealing with more sensitive issues, you just cannot beat a face-to-face conversation. That is why no email Friday is such a great idea.

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“No E-mail Friday helps us to remember we really could go over to that person sitting right over there and collaborate more.”- Sara Roberts, President, Roberts Golden Consulting, San Francisco.

Featured photo credit: VFS Digital Design Mexico Intensive/ Vancouver Film School via flickr.com

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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