“I would be so successful if someone just gave me a shot!”
Many people out there have mindsets and attitudes that set them up for failure. When confronted with possible reasons for failure, or a lack of personal success, they often end up just making excuses. Here are 10 particular bad habits that keep those people from achieving success.
They’ll write that novel just as soon as they’re done with their favorite show. Oh, but now they’re hungry. They’ll get started after a snack. Oh, but now that snack has made them sleepy–a little nap couldn’t hurt, right?
One of the hardest, and the most obvious, parts of achieving success is the actual work. Procrastinating, making excuses or tricking themselves into loafing is just going to cement the fact that nothing will ever get done. It might not sound pretty, or even too easy, but the easiest way to get to success is to just jump in and get going (which is exactly how I got started).Advertising
It’s not their fault they’re not successful. The industry is bad, they don’t have the money, etc. When it comes down to it, however, who is the one responsible for their success? Themselves.
This is the day and age where people are launching successful start-ups in a few months, getting published online and finding their way to success one way or another. Some things might be out of their control, but blaming others is just going to waste the energy and time they need to get going.
3. Sour grapes
Being envious of the success of others is almost as bad as blaming them. All the time and energy they could be putting into their own goals is going towards a person who more than likely has done nothing but show them that the goal is attainable. They don’t have to be applauding their success, but being envious and sour about it is a waste of time–let it roll off the shoulders and dig down towards accomplishing goals.
4. Minimizing others success
Again, they don’t have to be cheering and raving about the success of others, but minimizing their accomplishments looks bad on them and on their own goals. If they attained success, would they want others rolling their eyes and treating it like it is not a big deal in the slightest? I highly doubt it. “So they climbed Mount Everest, big whoop. Plenty of people have done it before.” Have they?Advertising
They’re going to do this, they’re going to do that–the proof is in the pudding, ultimately. Talking about their goals and what they’re going to accomplish is all well and good, but talking time is better spent actually doing. Talking about goals has actually been shown to make you less likely to reach them, so zip up those chattering lips and dive in.
6. Making assumptions
You know what they say about the word ‘assume’, it makes an (inappropriate word I’ll leave out of this article) out of ‘u’ and ‘me’ . Unsuccessful people are the best at making assumptions without considering other outlets or opportunities. Missed chance after missed chance can put anyone behind, or completely ruin something that they poured a lot of hard work into. People are often surprised at what happens if they take a chance instead of listening to that little pessimist inside their heads. ‘Never assume’ is good advice and it is a mindset they should get out of as quickly as possible.
This one is obvious, isn’t it? It’s about the same as loafing, but even worse because it applies to multiple areas of our lives. That big project? Eh, its not due for a week. Dreams? Eh, going to be taking a class to learn how to write in a few months, I’m just relaxing until then.
Procrastination is not the friend of successful people. Many of them had to learn how to either make procrastination work for them or to barrel through it and press on, even with the proverbial sloth demanding you park it on the couch.Advertising
“It will never work. It is impossible, I just can’t …” That is about when it is time to take a good look at what they’re doing. There are a plethora of people out there that once thought the same thing: they can’t get a man into space, they can’t find a way for a human to fly, they can’t cure a disease. Well, people did what was once considered impossible. If they can defy the entire world, why can’t they defy the internal pessimist and get there? Don’t say that it is impossible. In the world we live in today, it seems like impossible is becoming a word that gets weaker every day.
Fast food, energy drinks, trash TV–their brain is sobbing at the thought. With all the time spent taking in things that are not good for their brain or body, how can anyone expect it to happily balance out and produce the stuff they need to achieve success? Output should be greater than input; though they don’t have to take the starving artist spiel literally. The point is, production is where the value is, not the absorption.
“Well, I tried.” Sure, they tried once. That horse is shaking its head and trotting off to find someone who will get back on it. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with cutting losses sometimes. After all, no experience is ever truly wasted, but quitting is the mortal enemy to successful people. If they believe in something, they want to find that success, there is no road map. You may very well have to carve your own path through treacherous jungle. If they give up the first time a mosquito bites, then they’ve doomed themselves already.
Success, in large part, is about the human being in the arena. People cheer for them, their struggle and victory, but the person who watches idly and scoffs, having never tried has also never really lived.Advertising
Mindsets are not set in stone. It is never too late to get started and change perspective. After all, achieving success is completely up to them; they are the one making excuses and holding themselves back. Decide when it is time to stand up and get back into that arena.
Featured photo credit: Boys around a campfire by the water./simpleinsomnia via flickr.com
Last Updated on February 19, 2019
How to Break Bad Habits: I Broke 3 Bad Habits in Less Than 2 Months
The cycle of bad habits is what keeps us living small and stops us from reaching our true potential. Breaking a bad habit isn’t as hard as it seems; despite being a CEO of a company and raising two children, I still managed to break 3 bad habits I had within 2 months. Yes, that’s quitting one habit in less than 21 days.
I took steps to eliminate them one at a time. Habits such as drinking Coke every day, slouching when sitting and not having a consistent exercise routine.
So how did I break these habits? I used the Control Alternate Delete Method (Ctrl Alt Del).
What is this method and why is it so effective? Read on to find out how to break bad habits with this unique method.
How to break bad habits with the Control Alternate Delete Method
We all notice on some level what our bad habits are. A lot of the time we choose to ignore the negative ways these impact us.
For me, I was sitting most of the day in front of my computer at work in a slouching position. I drank Coke every single day in an attempt to stay awake. I put off any kind of exercise regime because I felt that it was better to just relax and have fun after a whole day of work. As a result, I was leading a really unhealthy lifestyle suffering from weight gain and back pain.
I needed to make a change.
I started to read books about building habits such as The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, The One Thing by Gary W. Keller and Jay Papasan, and The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. After reading all these books, I’ve come up with my own method to quit bad habits — The Ctrl Alt Del Method.
I started by focusing on just one bad habit, the first one being the sheer amount of Coke I was consuming each day.
Every day I applied the Ctrl Alt Del Method and after two weeks, not only did I stop drinking Coke every day (I only drank one can in 2 weeks), but I started the better habit of drinking 8 glasses of water every day instead.
After eliminating one bad habit, I moved on to the other two with this same method and a month later I was:
- Hitting the gym twice a week.
- Improving my sitting posture, not only at the office but also at home and everywhere else, improving my back pain.
- Gaining core muscle which improved my back pain as well.
- Losing fat around my waist which went from 36″ (considered obese level) to 32″ (normal level).
If I can improve my life using this method, then so can you. Using this structure to eliminate your bad habits will increase your success and replace your bad habits with more positive ones.
Control: Master your desire
Identify your triggers
Bad habits such as drinking alcohol, smoking and snacking too much trigger the release of dopamine, a feel-good chemical in the brain. Although you might not like the end result, they give you a positive outcome in the moment. This is pure psychology.
It’s important to identify what is triggering you to continually act out your bad habit. This isn’t always an easy step because our habits have been built up over a long period of time.
If you need help in identifying your triggers, here’s a list of common bad habits and their triggers: 13 Bad Habits You Need to Quit Right Away
To help you work out your triggers, do a bit of self-reflection. Ask yourself questions such as:
- What comfort are you getting from this habit?
- Why do you need comfort?
For example, I chose to drink coke because it tasted good and it made me feel good when I was stressed. I slouched only when I sat for too long working on my desk and started to feel tired. I skipped exercises because every day after work I felt I already did enough works and didn’t want to work out.
If you choose to eat fast food every night, you’re probably telling yourself you’re too busy to cook. But ask yourself why? What are your priorities?
Maybe you have a lack of self-worth that means you don’t have the self-love to want to look after your health. Perhaps it’s a sign you’re not making enough time for important routines like shopping and creating a healthy meal yourself. Maybe you’ve always had a belief that you’re a bad cook.
Write a diary
Write down your thoughts and feelings around this bad habit. Writing things down forces the brain to think harder. This helps you to find the source to your stress or limiting negative beliefs.
Alternate: Find a replacement
Find a positive alternative habit
Once you think you’ve discovered your trigger, try to find a similar but healthy option. This is where I replaced Coke with lemon water; slouching with simply taking a walk and stretching my back every hour; and chilling at home after work with workout exercises that I actually found fun.
You could decide to walk to the office instead of driving or getting off the bus earlier to walk. You could switch to a healthier breakfast cereal instead of grabbing a sugary snack when you head out of the door.
By doing this, you aren’t getting rid of the act altogether like you would if you completely gave something up with nothing to fill that void. This helps your brain accept the improved habit more.
Create a defence plan
Everyone has moments of weakness and that want to revert back to the bad habit will rear its ugly head. This is where a plan can help counteract these moments.
Think of things you can do when the temptations come. For example, if you want to check your phone less, ask your friend or partner to keep it for you or switch it off and read a book. If you’re a starter for an exercise routine, like me, get someone to do it with you to keep you accountable.
Decide on something you will do once you feel triggered to go back to your old habit. Repeating these positive alternative habits consistently will help wire your brain to see them as your normal new habit over time.
Delete: Remove temptations
Remove stuff that reminds you of the bad habit
Getting rid of anything that reminds you of your bad habit is essential. For example, I got rid of coke in my office and at home and replaced my usual office chair with an exercise ball. It makes it much easier to stop slipping back in a weak moment.
Avoid all kinds of temptations
In the same vein, avoid places or people that you know will tempt you back into that bad habit. Don’t go to the supermarket on an empty stomach to avoid the temptation to buy trashy snacks, don’t drive past that fast food joint but find an alternative route instead, say no more often to the friend you know will get you drunk again this weekend.
It’s all about not putting yourself in the situation where you’re in danger of relapsing.
The Control Alternate Delete Method uses the right steps you need to overcome your need to indulge in your bad habits. Working with your core psychology, emotions and feelings behind your actions is what makes this method effective and easy to apply to all bad habits you have.
Bad habits are easy to form and making changes can seem difficult but remember that it’s all about consistency and repetition.
Start using the Control Alternate Delete Method today and you can stop a bad habit permanently.
What bad habit do you want to put a stop to once and for all? You must set aside time and pick one bad habit to focus on. Start using the steps to increase and maintain more positivity in your life moving forward.
More Resources About Changing Habits
- Do You Really Understand What a Habit Is?
- How to Break a Habit and Hack the Habit Loop
- How Long Does It Take to Break a Habit? Science Will Tell You
- 24 Best Habit Tracking Apps
Featured photo credit: Picjumbo via picjumbo.com