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The A to Z Guide to a Rich Life

The A to Z Guide to a Rich Life

A is for Adventure, and B is for Bravery. But a rich life is mostly brought to you by the letter C, for the Choice is yours to make it happen.

This A to Z guide is a slippery slide down the letters of the alphabet. It is not a ride for the faint-hearted or for the superficial money-hungry beasts who preach gobbledygook. Instead, it’s for people who want to make a difference with their lives. If that describes you, then you’re in the right place.

So, buckle up and jump in. We’ve got a long way to go.

A is for Adventure

Life is an adventure. Or to be more precise: your adventure.

But where will I go? I hear you ask. What you’re really asking for is a map. Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all. Each one of us carries our own map of where we want to go and what we want to do. You need to look within yourself and ask:

  • Where do I want to go? 
  • Why do I want to go there?
  • What is it about this mission that makes me feel excited and alive?

If you’re getting butterflies, then go. If not, explore more options.

It doesn’t matter if you travel alone or with someone else as long as you move forward on your quest. New adventures lead to more experiences. There is no such thing as a bad adventure. Remember, the adventure begins when you leave the village.

If you’re stuck, don’t despair. Remember this dialogue from Alice in Wonderland:

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
“I don’t much care where –”
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
― Lewis Carrol, Alice in Wonderland

What stops you from embarking on your adventure? Maybe letter B will be of some help.

B is for Bravery

Here’s a promise: you’ll face obstacles, challenges and people who will try to bring you down. Be ready for this. They don’t want you to live your adventure because they’re not happy with theirs.

You can safely ignore these people. Learn to stand up for yourself and your mission without a moment’s hesitation. This is your adventure, remember? Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

Have the courage to live a life that’s true to yourself.  Dare to be brave: you have nothing to fear. If you’re looking for inspiration, find comfort in these words:

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde

C is for Choice

Yes, this is the most important letter of the alphabet. It decides whether you’re going to live a fun and meaningful life or a boring and mediocre one.

It boils down to choice. For every living moment, you have a choice about how you will respond. No one expresses the value of choice better than writer and Holocaust survivor Viktor E Frankl:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Yes, you always have a choice. If you can’t change a situation, you can always change yourself. I told you it wasn’t easy, but it can still be done with some help from letter D.

D is for Discipline

It can be difficult to follow through on some of your decisions. Procrastination and self-doubt too easily distract you from your path. But that’s why you need discipline.

No, I don’t mean military discipline. That’s too violent and scary for me. I’m talking about the kind of self-discipline that artists, athletes and scientists use to practice their craft and to stay committed to the task at hand. It’s willpower. It’s grit. It’s the discipline to make and keep a promise to yourself.

Indeed, discipline is hard because you’re competing against yourself. You are your own worst enemy. Don’t let this internal struggle bog you down. With a bit of discipline, you can pave the way for your adventure. It’s not sexy, but it works. Think of it this way:

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” ― Jim Rohn

Of course, sometimes there’s a gap between what you know and what you need to know. That’s when letter E comes to the rescue.

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E is for Education

A rich life is shaped by education. When you stop learning, you cease to truly live.

There’s always more to learn about the world and the people and animals that live in it. If you feel ambitious, there’s always the universe to keep you busy. But let’s not go there today. It makes my head spin.

By all means, read more books, listen to more songs, and watch more movies. Talk to people and learn from them. Keep exploring.

“Education is not just preparation for life, but part of life itself – a continuous art.” ― Henry Ford

If your experience of education is anything like mine, it has involved several moments of fear and self-doubt, which brings us to the dreaded letter F.

F is for Fear

Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of looking dumb. You can’t escape your fears, but at least you’re not alone in having them.

So, what to do? Try to befriend your fear. Invite him over for dinner, share a glass of wine, but skip the small talk (your guest is very good at that). Instead do the unexpected and act in spite of your fear. See how quickly he leaves the room!

“Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.” ― Karl Augustus Menninger

Remember: when you face your fear, you change your path. And when you change your path, you change yourself.

G is for Generosity

Do you want to know the secret to a rich life? Lean in; I need to whisper this: Generosity. I know it sounds counterintuitive at first, but consider this saying:

“There was a man, they called him mad; the more he gave, the more he had.”
― John Bunyan

Allow that to sink in for a moment. Then answer this question: do you fear giving away too much? 

Many people do. They live their life according to a scarcity model: the belief that there isn’t enough resources for everyone. They fear sharing (not to mention giving!) because that means there will be less over for them. In short, they have a fixed mindset. They think: If I win, you lose. In his book Enchantment, Guy Kawasaki calls these people eaters. They do whatever they can to finish the pie first.

The fixed mindset is heavy, frustrating, and annoying to carry around. It makes you anxious and grumpy. Keep it at your own cost.

Luckily, there is an alternative. Kawasaki calls these people bakers. They want to make a bigger pie. This growth mindset drastically changes their approach to life. They operate from an abundance model–in other words, the belief that there is enough for everyone to get by.

What stops you from adopting a growth mindset?  

Tip: Read Mindset by Standford psychologist Carol S Dweck for a more extensive explanation on the differences between a growth and a fixed mindset. You won’t be disappointed.

Bottom line: Choose your mindset carefully or it will affect your health.

H is for Health

Your body is your holy temple, and you’ll want to treat it with respect.

Prevention is the best medicine. So, eat well. Sleep tight. Exercise often. Meet more friends. There’s no excuse to ignore your health.

“To keep the body in good health is a duty… Otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.” ― Buddha

Remember: your health is the biggest sign of your wealth. It grants you another day, another chance. The rest you can leave to the imagination.

I is for Imagination

Your imagination helps you plan and see your life in vivid detail. If I didn’t know better, I’d almost call it magic. Use your imagination to reach your goals more effectively. Remember to engage all your senses in this important enterprise.

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There’s only one downside to your imagination–without your actual input, it becomes worthless. So, act on your imagination; play with it, have fun with it, and get ready to be surprised. But don’t take my word for it. Here’s what the genius himself, Albert Einstein, has to say about the subject:

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” ― Albert Einstein

Well, who am I to disagree with a genius? Open up to your imagination and let it bring you joy.

J is for Joy

Don’t take yourself too seriously. What makes you laugh and smile? Do more of that.

Joy lasts longer if you let it seep into the depths of your being. Let it fill you up. Be grateful about the simple joys in life.

“Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home… it’s your responsibility to love it, or change it.” ― Chuck Palahniuk

K is for Kindness

A rich life starts with cultivating a sense of kindness and friendship towards yourself and others. Remember to be brave: extend kindness to strangers, enemies, and people you find difficult. It makes a big difference.

Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s part of the journey. Save yourself the grief. Learn to forgive rather than to condemn. When you’re struggling, remember this quote:

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” ― Alexander Pope

L is for Love

Love is the social glue that binds us all together. To a well-trained eye, love pops up in the most unlikely places. You just need to know where to look.

Everyone deserves love. The opposite of love is not hatred. The opposite of love is indifference. Love means that you care. When you stop loving, you stop caring. Your senses become numb and violence and injustice can take over. Now we can’t have that.

The more you love, the richer you become. It really is that simple.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ― Lao Tzu

M is for Mindfulness

It’s difficult to spend time with your thoughts, worries and feelings. Either you escape them or you get lost inside of them.

Mindfulness invites you to tune into your mind. This is a difficult but rewarding practice because it teaches you the art of listening to yourself. So, please take your time. Hurry slowly.

Sit down. Close your eyes. Breathe.

“The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”
― Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

Remember: Listen more to yourself. After all, you have two ears and one mouth.

N is for Narrative

Everyone loves a good story. What we often forget is that we tell stories all the time: about who we are, what we do, and who we want to be.

You can’t always change what happens to you, but you can always change the story you tell yourself. In short, own the story line and tell a better story.

Ask yourself: Can I tell myself a different story? Then remember this quote from Stephen R Covey:

“The way you see the problem is the problem.” ― Stephen R. Covey

Change the story line and you change the way you see the problem. And that’s how you turn a problem into an opportunity.

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O is for Opportunity

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Opportunity!

Don’t be silly–opportunity doesn’t knock twice!

Do you make the most of the opportunities that come your way? 

P is for Principles

A rich life is guided by principles. Think of them as your internal compass. When you feel lost and astray, they’ll be there to pick you up.

Proactivity, honesty, integrity–these principles stand the test of time because they work. They also allow you to enjoy your success and not to feel guilty for cheating your way to the top.

“Failure comes only when we forget our ideals and objectives and principles.” ― Jawaharlal Nehru

Q is for Questioning

Feed your curiosity and never stop asking questions. One of Rudyard Kipling’s famous poems demonstrates this quality well:

I keep six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew)

Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who

Questions often lead to more questions, which lead to some useful answers. So, start questioning.

R is for Relationships

Relationships enrich every tenet of our lives. Family, friends and partners support and unite us in our daily struggles. They make life more fun, meaningful and worthwhile.

New relationships mean new responsibilities. Do you remember the first time when you became a parent, a grandparent, an aunt or an uncle? These roles gave your life a new meaning, a sense of purpose that wasn’t there before.

Without relationships, life becomes futile. Create lasting relationships with others. It’s the most important investment you can make.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou

S is for Spirit

Spirit has many different meanings. The word itself derives from the Latin word spiritus and means “breath”. It suggests that there is a part of us that outlives our death.

Whether you’re religious or not, people leave a legacy after they’re gone. We remember them through their actions, words and deeds. A part of them stays with us. What is important is the legacy they leave behind.

What legacy do you want to leave behind?

“Every man casts a shadow; not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit. This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will, it falls opposite to the sun; short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it?”  ― Henry David Thoreau

Letter T helps you build the lasting legacy that you deserve.

T is for Teaching

Teaching enriches both your life and your student’s. When you share your knowledge and experiences, you pass on a part of yourself and you allow that knowledge to spread. Others can share your story and learn from it.

Teaching helps others avoid costly, dumb and painful mistakes. It’s your duty to pay it forward. As Oscar Wilde points out:

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“I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.”

U is for Uncertainty

Your adventure is always going to be uncertain. That’s OK because uncertainty is part of the deal. Embrace it. Never let the fear of the unknown scare you into a corner.

You fear uncertainty because you believe you don’t have what it takes to recover from it. Imagine your worst case scenario in vivid detail. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you? But don’t just stop there. Now write an equally clear plan on how you’re going to recover from it. Once you do, you’ll realize that you can recover from just about anything.

“Waves are inspiring not because they rise and fall. But because each time they fall… They never fail to rise again.”

V is for Values

What do you stand for? What do you find unacceptable? Speak up for your values. Let them walk by your side and guide you to do the right thing.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

W is for Win-Win

It’s clear that a rich life does not come from a win-lose mindset. Always think about what others can gain from your actions. This is what Stephen R. Covey aptly calls creating “win-win” situations. No one is a loser. There are only winners.

How does that change your outlook on life? And more important, how does it change your actions?

“The Law of Win/Win says, ”Let’s not do it your way or my way; let’s do it the best way.” ― Greg Anderson

X is for Xylatomy

Say what? Well, you try to find a good word that starts with X. There aren’t that many out there. So, why did I choose this particular word?

Because it’s fun to say and I want to reward you for your efforts! You’ve come this far down the alphabet with me, the least I can do is to teach you a new word. Xylatomy can be defined as:

“Preparation of sections of wood for microscopic study.”

Bet you didn’t know that one! So, what does xylatomy got to do with a rich life? Well, I believe it teaches us to find the joy in the small things. What’s your interpretation?

Y is for Yes

Yes is my favorite word. It says: “Let’s do this!” and it also requires you to take responsibility for your actions.

A word of caution though: don’t say yes to everything. Believe me, I’ve been there. Only say yes if the answer is: “I cannot not do it“. Don’t be afraid to say no to the rest.

“Learn to say ‘no’ to the good so you can say ‘yes’ to the best.”  ― John C. Maxwell

Z is for Zest

Have a zest for life! Stop talking, start doing. Go out there and make the most of it! Don’t be discouraged by the ups and downs. This is part of the journey itself, and there’s nothing you can do about it but to choose your response.

“True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Start your adventure today

Wow, that was quite the ride! What a mouthful of inspiration and advice you’ve taken in! I hope you didn’t get motion sick.

It’s time to unbuckle your seatbelt, jump out the car, and get started on your new adventure. But relax. Remember the wisdom of letter C: Choice. Choose to act on one of these letters and you’re well on your way to a richer life.

What does a rich life look like to you? What words have I missed that’s on your list? Please share your words and ideas to a rich life in the comments!

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

How to Be Confident: 51 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence

How to Be Confident: 51 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence

When you learn how to be confident, you can use it in your everyday life to tackle all of your goals and challenges. However, not many people realize that learning how to gain self-confidence is like building a muscle—it grows in response to the level of performance required of it.

Here I will give you 51 proven ways to overcome a lack of self-confidence and achieve more.

1. Learn Something New

Sign up for that evening class and enjoy it. Alternatively, read a book (or take an online course) on a topic you’ve always wanted to learn more about.

Learning new things stretches your abilities, keeps your mind active, and most definitely improves your confidence in your ability to do new things.

2. Ask Your Partner or a Friend What You Can Do For Them

This can be something as easy as helping them with a chore they don’t like or have little time for. Through helping them, you’ll find that you feel better about yourself.

3. Hit the Gym

The physiological effects of going to the gym will leave you feeling great.

Countless studies have shown that regular workouts at the gym can boost not only your sense of well-being, but can increase your self-esteem, too[1].

4. Go to a Networking Event

Rather than being nervous about your own stuff, focus on how to help others. Instead of going along with the aim of trying to sell yourself to others, why not change your approach and simply go along to see how you can help the people you meet?

By doing this, you’ll come across as calm, confident, and someone that people will want to turn to again and again.

5. Get Clear on the Things That Matter to You

If these things are not in your life, you’ll need to bring them in.

For example, if your daily work routine is currently as dull as dishwater—but you’d like it to be fun—then do something about it. Turn data entry into personal speed contests, paper filing into “screen-free” time, and interactions with your colleagues into enjoyable conversations.

6. Remove Negativity From Your Life

Write a list of the things you’re tolerating and putting up with in your life, then write down how you can remove, minimize, or diminish each one.

I personally like to do this with pen and paper as it feels just a little more real and definite than on screen. It’s also a good idea to put the priority items at the top of your list, so you can begin resolving these first.

7. Celebrate Your Big and Small Wins

Look at the big or small goals you’ve completed, and give yourself credit for your part in it.

Recognizing your achievements is not egotistical, it’s healthy.

8. Converse With New People

Go and have a conversation with someone you don’t know. By doing this, you may be pleasantly surprised by what—or who—you’ll discover.

You can also extend this trait by breaking outside of your normal social situations at your workplace. This will do wonders when learning how to be confident.

9. Do Something You Would Normally Say No to

Next time you talk yourself out of doing something (a party invite, a challenging project, etc.), go and do it anyway. This is a great way to boost personal development.

10. Do One Thing Each Day That Makes You Smile

This could be something as simple as sending a thank you email to a colleague that has been helpful to you, or leaving a surprise present for your partner that they’ll discover when they wake up.

Life shouldn’t be drudgery, and we all need to make the effort to keep it light, loving, and fun.

11. Give Yourself Good Advice

Look for the patterns of thought that take you to a place where you start second-guessing or overthinking.

Now imagine that your best friend went through exactly the same thought process and ended up holding themselves back—what would you want to say to them?

This is known as Soloman’s Paradox—we’re often quite good at solving others’ problems but not our own. Challenge this and take your own good advice next time[2].

12. Ask Someone on a Date

If you’re single and have met someone that you’re definitely attracted to—go ahead and ask them out.

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Even if they turn you down, it will help you learn how to be confident through the fact that you were decisive and made an effort. What’s the best thing that could happen? They might just say yes!

13. Write Down 20 Things That Make You Feel Good

Think of this as a gratitude list. Typical things you might include are: your partner, your kids, your parents, your pets, etc.

I recommend writing this list at least once a month. And most importantly—make sure you’re giving the 20 things plenty of room in your life.

14. Stop Playing Different Roles

Stop playing different roles and squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people expect of you.

Be your authentic self, the one who knows what to do and loves what they do. It’s easy to find this part of yourself as it’s inherent in your hobbies and your close friendships.

If you can bring this authenticity into your work life, you’ll be surprised at how positively others will react to you.

15. Cultivate a Positive Mindset

Learn to catch yourself every time you tell yourself that you can’t have, won’t get, or aren’t good enough to get what you want[3].

Talk yourself up when learning how to be confident.

    Instead, tell yourself that you can have, will get, and are good enough to get what you want. Mindset is everything. Make sure yours is positive and dynamic.

    16. Take Yourself off Auto-Pilot

    Make deliberate decisions on what really matters to you.

    For instance, if you normally work 9 to 5 but find yourself spending hours getting to and from work, why not negotiate with your boss to mix your hours up a bit?

    You might also suggest a day or two working from home. Sell this to your boss by reminding them that the time and stress lost to commuting can be neatly transferred to productive work hours.

    17. Listen Carefully to What You Tell Yourself

    Next time you come up against a risk or a challenge, listen to what you tell yourself, and look for a way to improve your inner dialogue.

    If you normally find that your inner dialogue is negative, then break out of this by asking yourself questions such as:

    • What would make this easier?
    • Is there a different way of doing this?
    • Could research help?

    18. Laugh at Yourself

    Scared of looking silly? It’s no biggie, so don’t let it stop you.

    Whenever we try something new, there’s a fair chance that we’ll make fools of ourselves. But you’d be a bigger fool to let that stop you. Instead, laugh at your baby steps and watch your confidence soar as you begin to master your chosen activity.

    19. Listen to Your Doubts

    Sometimes your doubts are there to let you know what you need to prepare for, so you can use them to your benefit as you move forwards. Other times, they are just doubts.

    The trick is to quickly determine if your doubts have validity. If they do, use them to shape your decisions.

    To illustrate this, imagine that you’ve had an enticing job offer, but you doubt whether you’re capable of doing the job. Spend a little time analyzing your doubts to see whether they reflect reality, or whether they are just negative thoughts that are trying to hold you back.

    20. Recall a Time When You Did a Great Job

    Think of a time when it felt like a whole bank of switches in your head flicked to the on position, and you were firing on all cylinders. What were you doing, and what’s the reason it felt so great? Can you emulate that passion and drive that you had?

    21. Tear up Your Rule Book

    You may not know it, but you’ve almost certainly got a whole bunch of outdated rules that determine what you do and don’t do. These rules limit your thinking and your behavior.

    It’s time to change them. Tear up this subconscious rule book and toss it in the fire. Once you’ve done this, you’ll immediately notice how free you feel to make challenging and exciting decisions.

    22. Ask Yourself What You Have Gained When You Lose

    Do you get annoyed with yourself because you didn’t make the most of something or stepped back from an opportunity?

    Firstly, don’t beat yourself up because that’s just going to make you feel worse. Instead, be brutally honest and ask yourself what you gained from the situation and what you lost out on.

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    Based on this win/lose balance, what’s a different choice you can make next time?

    23. Don’t Let People Put You Down

    If there’s someone in your life who puts you down or makes you feel small, you owe it to yourself to let them know that you expect something different from now on. 

    Trust me, once you’ve told them, they’ll change, and you will, too. Inevitably, you’ll boost both your confidence and happiness by taking control of your life in this way.

    Learn how to get out of toxic relationships in this article.

    24. Reveal a Little Bit of the Real You

    Relationships can be difficult. They can also lose their zest and become stale. If this happens in your relationship, then it’s time to add some magic to the mix.

    Try revealing something interesting about yourself or your past that your partner doesn’t currently know when learning how to be confident. Perhaps you never mentioned to them that you used to play in a rock band—and you still have the recordings to prove it!

    By adding new things to your relationship, you’ll deepen the bond and keep the spark alive.

    25. Be Your Own Hero

    Recognize that you’re more than a match for any situation you might find yourself in—no matter how tough the going gets.

    We all love movies like Die Hard where ordinary people are driven to super-ordinary feats. But here’s the rub: you can be your own action hero.

    Whatever the situation, meet it head on and overcome it. Keep in mind the classic phrase: “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

    26. Don’t Give in to the Instant Pay-off

    If I was to offer you $100 now for a day’s work tomorrow or $110 for the same work, but I won’t pay you for a week, which would you choose? Well, I can’t read your mind, but I do know that studies using a similar question to this have found that most people choose the instant, smaller payment over the latter, bigger payment. It seems that we’re hardwired for instant gratification.

    However, if you want to be a success in life, always look at the bigger picture. In the example above, if you could have only waited seven more days, you would have been $10 richer!

    27. Instead of Yelling “I Deserve Better,” Say “I Can Be Better”

    Too often I hear people complaining about their personal circumstances but refusing to do anything about it. Don’t be like them.

    If things aren’t going your way, find solutions and implement them. Your boldness and decisiveness will boost your confidence and help you rapidly climb the ladder of success.

    28. Admit You’re Wrong

    It may not be easy, but you should always be prepared to hold your hands up and change your mind if things are going south. Not every idea you have will be a winning one. The trick is to know when things are clearly not working out.

    You can either attempt to get them back on track or kill them off completely (sometimes that’s the best way).

    29. Trust Your Instincts

    We all have our gut feelings and intuitions, but many people choose to ignore them and rely only on facts, facts, and more facts! While this may work for many scenarios, there will be other times when you’ll need to rely on your instincts.

    30. Imagine Your Confident Future Self

    Imagine you’re visited by a successful, confident, attractive, and vibrant version of you from the future, a version of you who’s everything you hope to be. What do they want to tell you?

    They might praise your efforts, but they may also criticize your lack of planning and weak goals.

    Luckily, if you listen closely to what they tell you, you’ll be able to rapidly shift gears in your life and become the you of the future!

    31. Ask for Help

    This is a common issue. We take on way too many responsibilities and end up either burning ourselves out or just doing a bad job!

    The secret is to put the vast majority of your energy and efforts into what you do well. Give the stuff you don’t do well to others who have a gift for it. Sometimes the most confident and effective thing to do is ask for help.

    32. Be Around People Who Make You Feel Like You

    Do this by spending more time with the people who support and encourage you and less time with those who undermine you.

    At work, don’t be ruined by negative, petty people. Instead, make sure you surround yourself with colleagues who make you laugh and feel good about yourself.

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    33. Participate in the World Around You

    Ask yourself this question: “What can I participate in that’s important to me?”

    Typically, this could be your church, a sports club, or even just a weekly get together with your best friend.

    34. Develop Skills to Work on Things That Matter to You

    What can you practice that would radically improve your chances of winning?

    If you want to climb the corporate ladder, for example, then develop the skills needed to do this. These might include: effective project management skills, powerful presentation abilities, and superb goal setting skills.

    Of course, don’t forget that emulating those who have already achieved your goal is one of the quickest and most reliable ways for you to achieve your aims, too.

    35. Act Until You Make It

    The body is a mirror for the mind, so shifting your body language into a confident state can have surprising results.

    This is all about acting. If you want to come across as tough, act tough. If you want to come across as successful, act successful. And if you want to come across as confident, act confident.

    Try doing these things, and you’ll be amazed by the results.

    36. Push Through When You Want to Give up

    Don’t get disheartened or demotivated when you get to 90% with something you’re working on. Push through, and you’ll see that the last 10% is where the magic happens.

    37. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

    Keep comparing yourself to others? Stop it. If you want to learn how to be confident, don’t try to validate yourself through comparison—you’re just peachy as you are.

    Social media often makes this difficult. Try stepping away from your Facebook page for a few days and reconnect with the great things in your own life.

    You can get started with this guide.

    38. Speak up When You Can Make a Difference

    Speak up if there’s something you think could be improved or if you have an idea you think has legs.

    Have you noticed that quiet people at work rarely get the promotions? It’s not that they are incapable or lacking talent, but their abilities are usually overlooked as they don’t know how to engage with others or how to sell themselves.

    Step out of your comfort zone and be sure that you’re an active player. Speak up in meetings by suggesting ideas and offering constructive criticism.

    39. Stop Struggling and Start Accepting

    If there’s something you’ve been struggling to understand for a while, stop trying to understand it. Accept it just as it is, fully and wholly.

    Life offers endless mysteries. If you try to resolve them all you’ll drive yourself insane. Instead, let some mysteries remain, and keep your mind focused on your goals and dreams.

    40. It’s Okay to Be Shy

    There’s nothing wrong with being shy, and it doesn’t mean you’re not a confident person.

    If you suffer from shyness, you might think it’s a major weakness of yours. However, introverted people have the edge in many ways, such as: they’re first-rate listeners, they have excellent observational skills, and they’re easier to trust[4].

    41. Clean up Your Environment

    Your environment directly impacts your self-perception. So, if you’re surrounded by clutter, paperwork, and rubbish, put a morning aside to clean up your stuff and get organized.

    42. Write a List of Things You Would Love to Do

    Write yourself a list of the amazing things you’d love to do in your life, and make a start by simply looking into the first one or two things that leap out at you. This will help you get started as you learn how to be confident

    Even if you don’t currently have the means to live your dreams, you can, at the very least, make a start. The best way to do this is to write out the things you’d love to do. These may include cool stuff, such as travelling the world, learning a new language, or climbing a mountain.

    Once you’ve added the items to your list, don’t stop there. Begin researching and preparing ways to turn your dreams into realities.

    43. Make Your Self-Worth Independent From Others’ Validation

    Don’t make your happiness or self-worth dependent on being in a relationship or being validated by someone else.

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    While it’s difficult to admit it, we often find ourselves rating our self-esteem by the value other people put on us.

    For instance, you may have a super-positive boss who is always encouraging and supportive. They make you feel upbeat and confident at all times.

    However, imagine if they left and your new boss was the complete opposite. They constantly look for faults in your work and regularly criticize you. Would you still feel confident in those circumstances?

    If you’ve answered no, then you need to reappraise your self-worth, as it shouldn’t be dependent on the validation of others.

    44. Use Your Strengths

    We all have our weaknesses, but they only undermine your confidence if you let them.

    For instance, are you aware that Virgin’s founder Richard Branson suffers from dyslexia? He never let this hold him back or destroy his confidence. Today, he is one of the world’s most successful men, with a net worth of approximately $5 billion[5].

    45. Complete a To-Do List

    The longer you leave that big thing on your to-do list, the more it’ll drain you, and the bigger it’ll seem. Get it done and free yourself up.

    If you have a big goal, break it down into smaller tasks. For instance, instead of trying to write a whole chapter of your book in one go, how about just writing the opening paragraph?

    46. Treat Your Body Well

    When learning how to be confident, our body image does matter, because if you have a bad relationship with your body, you won’t feel confident in yourself.

    What’s one of the first things most of us do when we get up in the morning? We look in the mirror. If we don’t like what we see there, then our day starts off with negative self-talk. If, on the other hand, we look in the mirror and feel proud of our appearance, then we start the day off in an upbeat, positive way.

    If you’re unhappy with your body and looks, do something to improve them. Exercise, diet, and styling are common ways of improving your body image—and your confidence.

    47. Learn to Say No

    Don’t say yes to taking on a task simply because you don’t want to rock the boat. You can politely decline requests you can’t meet without needing to create excuses.

    While saying yes to everything that comes your way might feel like you’re being helpful and in demand, in the long run, you’ll burn yourself out.

    48. Learn From Confident People

    Look at the people you respect who seem confident. Don’t copy them, but identify what it is they do differently that conveys confidence and what you can learn from it.

    People-watching is not only fun, but it can be informative, too. Look closely at successful people you know, or those being interviewed on TV, and over time you’ll begin to notice common traits, beliefs, and behaviors that they exhibit.

    49. Follow Through on Your Plans

    Most people find it easy to write plans. The hard part, of course, is seeing them through. To stand out from the crowd, make sure that you know exactly how to complete your plans.

    If you need to, write down a step-by-step guide and begin following it. Not only will this drive you towards the completion of your plans—but experiencing the progress will also give you a continuous boost to your self-esteem.

    50. Shift Your Focus When You Doubt Yourself

    When you feel yourself focusing inwards and becoming paralyzed with doubt or fear, switch to focusing outwards at what you can engage and interact with.

    I remember one of my writing tutors telling me that when the words stop flowing, it’s time to take a break— preferably a walk in the park. It’s sound advice as it’s very easy to get caught up with our thoughts and emotions and be unable to make progress.

    51. Never Beat Yourself up for Failing

    Life is guaranteed to not always be a barrel of laughs. Instead, it’s much more like a roller coaster. There will be ups and downs, so ride them out.

    The art of living is to know how to handle whatever comes you way. The best way to achieve this is by developing an iron core that is unhindered by the topsy-turvy outside world.

    Final Thoughts

    Here I’ve given you 51 different ways to start building self-confidence Take action on the ways that you’re drawn to.

    It’s not enough to read about them. For them to work, you must adopt them into your daily life. Do this, and you’ll start to feel your confidence soar.

    More on How to Be Confident

    Featured photo credit: Matheus Ferrero via unsplash.com

    Reference

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