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How To Learn From Anger And Grow To Be Happier

How To Learn From Anger And Grow To Be Happier

Anger is one of those emotions that sneaks up on you and takes over. Anger is normal, but if you’re letting arguments escalate every time and your temper is going out of control, then you need to keep your emotions in check. If you have a short fuse, your anger might be damaging relationships‒both work and personal. Make sure you know how to learn from anger and grow to be happier.

How much do you know about anger? It’s important to understand this emotion before you know why it’s important to tackle.

Anger hurts your health.

Anger is accompanied by high levels of stress and tension. If you experience this emotion consistently over time, you will be more susceptible to illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes, insomnia, and high blood pressure. But this harm isn’t purely physical. Anger takes over so much of your mind that it clouds your thinking. The stress it creates can also lead to depression and a variety of mental issues.

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Anger hurts your relationships.

Anger hurts both your personal and your work relationships. Debates and arguments can be healthy, but only if you can take a step back and realize these as discussions only, not personal attacks. Getting angry and flying off the handle makes it so that people will not feel comfortable being honest with you. They’ll tailor their words and actions to your reaction, instead of according to what needs to be said or done.

Anger makes you look like a bully.

And everyone hates a bully. People might be scared of you and do what you want if you fly off the handle easily, but they won’t respect you, and they certainly won’t like you. You need to keep your anger in check during arguments and discussions so you come across as level headed and capable of handling anything that comes your way.

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    Now that you understand the downsides of anger, you can work to get over it, which will make you happier in the long run.

    Acknowledge your anger.

    It’s said you’re supposed to “let out” your anger so it doesn’t eat away at you, or become corrosive and hurt you down the line. While this is true, you must vent in moderation. Letting out all your anger will only hurt everyone around you, possibly permanently damaging relationships.

    Understand your anger.

    Is your anger rooted in something from childhood? Are you experiencing traumatic events or heightened stress levels that are causing you to fly off the handle more easily? Is this anger covering up another feeling? Maybe you feel too vulnerable to say what you’re really feeling, so you express it in anger instead. This is especially likely to be true if anger is your default reaction in most conversations. If anger is the only emotion you can express, then you need to work on getting those others to come out more willingly.

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    Take action on your anger.

    Make note of the warning signs before anger takes over your entire body. Does your face get hot? Do you feel knots in your stomach? Do you ball your hands into fists? Keep yourself in check when this starts happening. Try breathing exercises to calm yourself down, then isolate yourself so you can work through your anger without alienating anyone you care about.

    You can control your anger.

    Anger might sneak up on you and take you by surprise, but that doesn’t mean you can’t control it. You might not be able to stop what makes you angry, but you can control how it comes out around others. Don’t throw tantrums, don’t be a bully, and don’t let it eat you alive. When you feel angry, acknowledge where it came from and that you’re too big a person to be brought down by a little negativity.

    Don’t suppress your anger.

    It’s impossible to never get angry about anything. It’s human nature that things will rub you the wrong way and you’ll get frustrated and angered by them. Instead of focusing on suppressing your anger, or even trying to eliminate the sources of your anger, just make sure you’re expressing it in constructive, not destructive, ways.

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    Make your anger productive for you.

    Take that angry energy and use it to propel you around the block for a walk, or go to the gym to blow off all that steam. Funnel your energy into a creative outlet, listen to calming music, or even just sit in silence. Find something that works for you‒something that calms you down and makes you happy‒and use that to stave off the side effects of anger.

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    Last Updated on January 21, 2020

    How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

    How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

    If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

    Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

    So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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    1. Listen

    Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

    2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

    Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

    “Why do you want to do that?”

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    “What makes you so excited about it?”

    “How long has that been your dream?”

    You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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    3. Encourage

    This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

    4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

    After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

    5. Dream

    This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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    6. Ask How You Can Help

    Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

    7. Follow Up

    Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

    Final Thoughts

    By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

    Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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    Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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