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Why People Don’t Have To Like You And Why You Don’t Have To Care

Why People Don’t Have To Like You And Why You Don’t Have To Care

We all want to heal the world and make it a better place. And it is vital. However, before you begin to attempt launching on the world stage and getting involved in the lives of family, friends, and, in a few cases, people you do not even know, put a spotlight on yourself.

Are you feeling drained and exhausted with everyone needing or wanting something from you? Our boundaries are mixed when we float on sensitive and caring bubbles.The toxic bubbles start bursting those bubbles. Even if we convince ourselves that is it beneficial, red lights will appear and all comes to a halt. You feel like no one cares when you are the one that really has an issue.

Do for Yourself As You Do Unto Others

Now everybody needs to be liked, but remember that you can easily slip into this mission the wrong way. You first need to focus on liking yourself before getting others to like you. You bend over backwards for other people all the time, and yes, they may like all you do for them. But ask yourself, do you actually like you? With more inner stability, you become less of an emotional roller coaster.

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Change your negativity; control your emotions and your feelings. Happiness does not depend on external factors. It links directly to your sense of contentment. It is possible and easy to be happy by just being yourself. You need to accept who you are to grow. Your mind cannot simply be logged into. People cannot just explore how you feel and how you are doing, they can just assume it.

We are constantly bogged down with the needs of others. Our time, energy, and space leaves no personal productivity. A crucial way forward is learning the gentle art of saying no. It is great to get compliments from others, but if you rely on validation of how good you are from others, you can easily plunge into an emotional roller coaster. When you appreciate yourself, you do not go out of your way unnecessarily and people start to like the real you. There is a lack of genuineness in your gestures if you camouflage yourself according to different strokes for the different folks you’re surrounded by to fit in.

Healing the Scars of Sacrifice

When you are too busy focusing on the needs of everybody else around you, like your spouse, your children, and your friends, you give little thought to yourself and your own needs. The noble tunes of self-sacrifice has a soul rhythm does it not? We are taught, instilled with, and ingrained with doing for others before ourselves.

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Have you noticed that people who self-sacrifice the most always get the short end of the stick when they do decide to do something for themselves and go out and play? They become the substitute and standby players. And the ones who seem the most selfish end up in top ranks. Question that. You have been taught that it is selfish to think about you. It may be desirable putting your loved ones before you, but withholding your own needs will be a backslide for you. It is affirming to the world that you do not matter.

Now, let us examine what emotional needs really are. If you are not clear about your emotional needs to yourself, you are not clear to others. To thrive in the life game, you need to resolve conflicts, be aware of emotional needs, and ensure you get them met.

All around, you take the support you provide for granted, while you perceive your own needs as self-absorbed. If you do not value your needs, nobody can value them. People treat us in the way we demand to be treated. If we treat ourselves as if we have no value, others will treat us that way excessively. And then we get frustrated when we get no respect. Others treat you with no regards for your own needs because ultimately, you do not have regard for yourself.

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The Plan of Action

Do this exercise: picture yourself in a happy personal or business relationship. How would you ideally be treated in that picture? Would they linger around you all the time or give you your own space? Write down in detail what the perfect relationship would entail.

Now, break down the written details with your own needs. An example you may note is that the person of your dreams allows you personal space, meaning that your emotional needs include personal space and someone with other interests that will not smother yours.

What are your needs? Make a note of them:

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  • List your main priorities in the current stage.
  • Examine your key values and if you are living a life aligned with them.
  • What are your immediate goals? What are your goals for the year ahead?
  • How do you prefer spending your time?
  • What is an activity or project that you would like to start?

Ask yourself, what do you get from being the savior and the rescuer to everyone around you or getting caught up in the life maze and dramas of others? If you are too focused on everybody else, what can you do for your own life? In fact, by not helping others, you help them move forward. People need to make their own decisions and find their own solutions and, when you do this for them, you are not really helping them. If you take a step back and get to you know yourself, meeting your own needs will make you happy. And if everyone did this, the world will be a much better place.

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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