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9 Toxic Habits That Kill Your Motivation

9 Toxic Habits That Kill Your Motivation

Want to be successful?  You have to start by getting motivated.  Unfortunately, everyday you are bombarded by toxic habits that can kill your motivation.  Here are the most common culprits.

1.  You desire to be perfect.

Pursuing perfection is the quickest way to kill your motivation.  If this one is particularly hard for you, next time you are working on a project, tell yourself you are just doing a “rough draft,” and you will make it “perfect” later.  When later arrives, do a few revisions to your project and call it good.  Having something done is better than never finishing anything.

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2. You compare yourself to others.

Constantly comparing yourself to others is one of the easiest ways to lose motivation.  Not only will you stop working, but you will also  waste a ton of time.  Instead of comparing yourself to others, find out what makes them so good at their jobs.  By telling someone you admire them, you may find out what their secret of success is–or you may find out that the person you’re comparing yourself to doesn’t have it as good as you thought.

3. You don’t believe in yourself.

If you don’t believe in yourself, who will?  Stop wasting time and energy by tearing yourself down.  Next time you’re feeling down, force yourself to think of one thing you do well.  It will feel weird at first, but eventually you will realize that you are doing better than you thought.

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4. You do too much at once.

The best way to find motivation is to focus on the tasks you want to complete.  If you have 100 projects going on at once, you won’t get anything done.  So focus on what you want to accomplish and get started.

5. You don’t have any goals.

If you don’t have goals, you won’t be motivated because you don’t know where you’re going.  You need to figure out where you want to go and then your goals will take you there.  Not having goals is like trying to find a new restaurant without an address.  You might luck into it every once in a while, but you will be stuck wandering most of the time.

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6. You don’t encourage yourself.

Do you ever wish someone would tell you you’re doing a great job?  Well, you can get that encouragement today–from yourself.  By finding a way to encourage yourself, with notes, emails, even a special treat, you will feel more rewarded and motivated.  Remember, treat yourself the way you expect others to treat you.

7. You forget to rest.

Don’t forget sleep!  You need to take time to recharge so can have energy at work.  Want to take this one step further?  Carve out some “quiet time” every day.  Let your mind relax while you’re awake, and you will be able to come back to a project with a renewed spirit.

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8.  You have trouble finding new ideas.

You need to fuel your motivation with new ideas.  If motivation is gas, new ideas are the gas pump. By reading, thinking, and talking to others you will discover new ideas and make connections to old ideas.  This way you can solve problems and your tank will stay full.

9.  You get distracted.

We all have one activity that makes hours–or days–of our lives disappear.  From TV, to the Internet, to social media, you’ve got to learn how to shut out distractions so you can be motivated.  Need help?  A great way to focus is to schedule your time.  If you need to work on a project, set aside time every day to work on it.  This way, when you’re tempted to read about the latest celebrity gossip, you can remember your time is already spoken for.

These 9 toxic habits can kill your motivation.  Now you know what to look for, so make sure you stop them before they stop you.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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