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6 Tips for Expanding Your Social Circles

6 Tips for Expanding Your Social Circles

Whether you’re interested in advancing your career, or having a new group of friends to go out with, you need to learn—and perhaps master—the skill of making friends. In this article, I would like to share with you 6 tips that will help you expand your social circles.

1 – Connect With Connectors

A great way to expand your social circle is to connect to someone through whom you’ll meet many other people. Those “connectors” are the types of people who keep friends on Facebook by the thousands, host parties whenever they can, and always seem to be with a large group of people.

Oftentimes, these are very open people and are easier to connect with than you think. They might not have the time to invest in a deep friendship with you, but they love to get to know more interesting people to add to their circle.

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2 – Meet New People Constantly

A great habit to have is to always be meeting people that you can add to your circles. In reality, not all the people you meet will become your friends and not all your current friends will be around forever. This is why I always say that if you’re not making new friends, you’re actually making fewer.

I recommend that you go to places where you it’s easy and appropriate to walk up to anyone and introduce yourself. Ideally, you need to go to places where others are open to meeting new people as well. Examples might be trade shows, opening nights, galas, cultural or charitable events, seminars, and talks.

3 – Establish Yourself As a Giver of Value

When meeting lots of people, you have to “hook”. Nothing hooks better than having a giver attitude. First, listen really to what they say and imagine if you were them; see the world through their eyes. Second, be willing to share stories, contacts, or quick advice on what people are talking about.

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When you meet new people, there are some psychological principles that determine whether or not they’ll want to meet you again. This works on an unconscious level. One of the most important principles is the giver/taker attitude. If they sense that you only care about yourself, connection isn’t going to happen.

You can portray a giver attitude in two ways. The first is about really listening to what they say, imagining the world through their eyes, and giving them your opinion on their stories and situations. The second way is to prove that you’re ready to share similar stories about what they’re talking about, or introduce them to someone who could help them.

4 – Commit to a Local Community

One of the fastest ways to boost your social life is to get involved in a community that has the type of people that you want as friends. This community should be in your local area and should hold social get-togethers once a month, or more.

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What you do is find one that you like, maybe on meetup.com, and offer your help to the people who run it. They’ll most likely accept, even if they don’t need that much help; they’ll just be glad you’re interested. This works great because it makes you meet everyone, and because it establishes you as a giver of value.

5 – Reach Out to People On a Regular Basis

Staying in touch is vital if you want to keep your social circles alive. You need to follow up with the people you just met, and catch up with existing friends. The challenge here is that we tend to get distracted and forget about it, and regret later on.

To solve this problem, you can create a weekly ritual, where you spend only one hour calling, texting, and messaging people. Just mark on your calendar a specific day and time, and do it every week. A great time to do it is Tuesday or Wednesday, as it gives you the opportunity to make plans with people for the weekend.

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6 – Know the Kind of Friends You Want in Advance

Before you start investing more time on making friends, do a little planning. Try to figure out what kind of people you want to hang out with. List out a few qualities, character traits, or interests that you like, and don’t hesitate to be a little more ambitious than usual. This is important because it allows your mind to quickly tell if a person you meet could be a great fit for you.

Here are some qualities you can start with: giver, interesting, fun, ambitious, honest, loyal, curious, and reliable. You can add others if you want, and you can also make a list of the activities you want to be doing with your future friends. These lists won’t be definitive, but the clarity they bring will save you a lot of time and frustration. I also recommend that you invest a bit of time learning about friendship and how it works.

More by this author

Paul Sanders

A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere.

How To Be More Social If You Are an Introvert How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely 7 Tips How to Make Friends During College 5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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