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How To Be More Social If You Are Introverted

How To Be More Social If You Are Introverted

If you’re an introvert, then you know that your natural instincts don’t motivate you to go and socialize with people. However, you still love to spend some time with others when it’s appropriate — and love to have great friends in your circle. Introverts don’t like to socialize too much, but also hate to be lonely. Read on to discover three strategies that will help you be more social as an introvert.

Be Aware Of Friendship Preferences

Different people make friends in different ways. Some people are only interested in very close friendships, while others like having both close friends and casual friends. There is also the type of person who doesn’t like to have close friends at all, they only have fun friends and contacts, and confide in their family members.

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It will take you more time to form close friendships than casual ones. Knowing this, you need to pay attention to other people, and ask yourself if they have the time and are ready for the commitment of being a close friend of yours. That said, you may meet great people, but you couldn’t make friends with them unless your friendship preferences are compatible.

How To Be More Social Using Social Rituals

Because your instincts do not influence you to go socialize, you need to be proactive about it and set a couple of conditions that will help you be more social without thinking about it too much.

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A great way to do this is to set social rituals: a weekly ritual that reminds you to take an hour and follow up with people you know, and a monthly one that allows you to meet new people.

With your weekly ritual, which is nothing more than a reminder in your calendar, you take one hour to call, text, or email people with whom you have an active friendship, or people you just met and want to see again. This helps you do it all at one point, and enjoy the rest of your week knowing that you’re not ignoring people. This also helps you catch up with new people in your life.

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Your monthly ritual is some kind of subscription to a club or interest group that holds monthly events, where you can meet new people. You won’t be choosing a new club every month, you just find a good one and stick with it. To make it work even better, try and join the organizing team, this will almost force you to attend every time.

With these two rituals, you’ll always stay in touch with the important friends and potential friends, and really take control of the pace of your social life.

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Make Your Social Life Work By Itself

There is a shift in how you think about friendship that can radically reduce the effort it takes you to build a social circle. The shift is to go from focusing on individual friends to focusing on groups of friends. As you’re making new friends, quickly introduce them to each other, and start forming groups. It’s much easier than having to keep up with dozens of people who don’t know each other.

It seems like a small shift, but it completely boosts your social life when you try it. When you have friends that know each other, your social circle expands much faster. The people you know start to make plans with everyone in the group. They keep in touch with everyone else, so you don’t have to call everyone and manage everything.

If you have one group of two or three friends, you can keep it and concentrate on meeting new people and building other social circles. Whereas, if you have a dozen contacts who don’t know each other, you’ll have to keep reaching out and calling everyone to keep up.

To simplify your life, follow the two-step formula: explore new friendships + connect them with the existing ones.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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