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Knowing Others Is Intelligence, Knowing Yourself Is True Wisdom

Knowing Others Is Intelligence, Knowing Yourself Is True Wisdom

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power.” ~Lao Tzu

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Happily married people really know each other. A good mother knows her son. Astute teachers know their students. This knowledge is powerful. Insight into another human being provides the knower with a remarkable ability to meet needs, heal heartache, be emotionally supportive and above all, provide a prescripted and targeted kind of love.

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Often times, we find that we know the people we love better than we know ourselves. We are able to anticipate and fulfill their needs and desires without them even having to ask. However, when it comes to understanding and addressing our own needs we are lost.

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Getting to know you

Getting to know yourself begins and ends with personal introspection. Understanding what makes you tick, what makes you happy or sad, discovering your fears and assessing how you truly feel about yourself is a journey requiring time, effort and courage. There are myriads of excellent self-assessment tools[1] that can assist you in navigating the path of objectively assessing who you really are. The best thing you can do for others is to understand who you are and allow that to be the foundation for all of your interactions. Because the only thing you can do is interact with them based on who you are and not who they want you to be. You can teach them how to love and nurture the real you.

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The most positive thing you can do for yourself is to understand, accept and love who you truly are.

Knowing yourself requires an honest, transparent and often times difficult dive into the depths of your soul. It is acceptance of all of your past experiences, acknowledgment of your weaknesses and then cherishing all of it.

Get to know who you are—the good, the bad and the ugly.

Reference

[1]16 Personalities: Free Personality Test

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Denise Hill

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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