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It’s Okay To Be Unsure About What You Want In Life Once In A While

It’s Okay To Be Unsure About What You Want In Life Once In A While

Perhaps it comes with growing up.

Feelings that used to be simple became a myriad of complications. Directions that used to be clear gradually merged, twisted, and dispersed into thin air.

We used to whistle a tune before we head to work and get there feeling refreshed. Now most of the time we just feel numb. Apathetic, even. Work is dull, boring. We operate like a machine, never sparing more effort than what is needed.

Sometimes we feel drained, exhausted. It ceased to be “us”, and became “you” and “me”. You and I say the same things, only they come without the tinge of love or happiness.

We tried so, so hard to be perfect, and now we are lost, unsure about how to go on.

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We got lost when the harsh reality hit us.

Perhaps we lost ourselves when we stopped believing in the beauty of dreams, stunted by the harshness of reality, the burden of responsibility and locked them up with maturity as the jailer. So we started working at a place that constantly fills us with dread with our red, tired eyes staring back at me from the slightly reflective screen as our fingers flash over the keyboard.

Perhaps we lost ourselves when we started to care less about the person we love. What used to be a time to talk and share was filled with arguments or complete silence. We withdrew into ourselves, staring at the dying embers of love because we don’t know how to rekindle the flames anymore.

I am terrified. We are terrified of these gradual shifts in our lives when things no longer seem to make sense. That’s because deep down, we don’t want to give up. We all want to do something and change. We want to live happier, become someone important and create something of value. That is unanimous.

But taking an initiative could be just as scary. Could you live with yourself if what you did and changed, in the end, was a mistake?

To that, I would say boldly – so what?

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Cheers to our mistakes.

Years from now, we will be more disappointed with the things we didn’t do than the things we did. If we don’t have the courage today to explore, dream and discover new things and choose to stay in the depressing cage we are in right now, then what is the point of living?

Remember what got you here in the first place.

Ask yourself: why did you start doing what you are doing now? Is it because you enjoyed the thrill, the challenge of your job? Or is it because it has a decent pay, good benefits, and everyone else feels like you’re the perfect fit for this job?

“Oh God, the terrible tyranny of the majority. We all have our harps to play. And it’s up to you to know with which ear you’ll listen.” —Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

If you started off being passionate about it, figure out what changed and find out how to take it back.

If you are doing something because it was what everyone thinks you should do and you don’t necessarily agree, then take a deep breath, and drop it. Life is too short to be doing what you don’t like.

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Once you decided to do something, do it till it’s done.

“Don’t try. Do. Or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars.

Commit yourself fully. It is too often that we leave buffer after buffer to make sure we are safe even if we fall. Adult eagles would push their kids down a cliff so they could either learn flying or die. It may sound cruel, but sometimes we need to just close our eyes and learn to take that leap of faith. Whatever it is that you have decided to do, do it cleanly and don’t look back.

It’s okay to be not okay.

Asking for help is often portrayed as a sign of weakness. But who is strong all the time? So many of us mask our insecurities, our fear of being lost and confused with a stony façade and an iron will. Unconsciously, we have pushed the ones who care about us further away with this twisted strength.

But perhaps being weak occasionally is what makes us human. It’s okay to feel unsure about what you want to be. It’s okay to fall and sob. It’s okay to be vulnerable and tender after being hit by a sudden loss.

No one should carry the burden of being strong all the time. So share your story with your family. Shed some tears with your friends. Find your direction with your partner. It’s okay to say “I’m not okay”.

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It’s all about being honest to yourself.

We’ve all been lost and come across crossroads before, not knowing which way is the right way to choose. The thing is, it really isn’t about being right. It’s about being honest to yourself. It’s about doing what you want to do deep inside your heart. It’s about looking at what you have and who you have and be grateful. It’s about being proud of yourself no matter what you chose in the end.

Therefore, there is just one more thing to say –

Good luck.

Featured photo credit: Picjumbo via picjumbo.com

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Eamon Suen

Student, The Hong Kong University of Science and Technology

Life Is Not Supposed To Be Fair, We’re Supposed to Learn To Live With It If You Want To Be Successful, You May Need To Cut Off Something From Life The Earlier You Understand These Truths Of Happiness The Better Accept Where You Are And Happiness Is At Your Fingertips Your New Habits Will Stick With These 5 Killer Strategies

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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