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How to Meet New People and Make Friends with The Best

How to Meet New People and Make Friends with The Best

If you have trouble meeting new people and making friends with the best of them, then you’re about to find out why it’s not your fault. Read on…

Before we get into some smooth techniques for meeting new friends, let’s understand why it’s been hard to do until now.

Why It’s Not Your Fault If You Can’t Meet Interesting New Friends

Among many reasons:

 1.  Your parents didn’t teach you to make friends as an adult! This skill is quite different from the techniques used by children to make new friends.

 2.  Making friends is a step out of your comfort zone—you may feel emotionally threatened when you meet new people, and that’s not easy to change.

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 3.  Wishy-washy advice on how to make friends is too general and can’t be applied. You need specific steps and clear strategies for meeting, and making friends with great people.

Making the right friends can make your life ten times more enjoyable. With great friends, you can share your life stories and experiences, learn new things, and have the fun of your life during weekends, trips, and adventures. It’s way better than just accepting that you’ll have to spend your time in a lonely and dull state, while you know you deserve better than that.

Now, the most important thing you can do is learn how to meet new people who you actually want to spend time with.

How to Meet New People Quickly

To simplify, let’s break this technique down to 6 important steps:

 1.  Decide on a subject/ interest/ hobby/ sport that you love

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 2.  Find forums or meetup groups about that subject

 3.  Select interest groups that meet regularly to discuss the subject

 4.  Attend their meetings.

 5.  Talk about stuff like: when you started to like the subject/hobby, how often you do it, people you know that do the same thing, and similar.

 6.  Jump to conversation topics that have nothing to do with the main interest.

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If your mind goes blank on “step 1”, look for interest groups in your area and choose one or two that seem the most interesting. This is really all you have to do to meet new people, and you can talk to as many people in these events as you think or feel is enough.

How To Kick-Start the Friendship (A Crucial Piece)

Some people do what I just told you and still can’t create new friendships. And that’s because they don’t know a simple, but crucial tip, that you’re about to find out: having one commonality with someone is not enough—you need two commonalities to create a friendship.

When you go to the social gatherings and start meeting new people, look for things that you have in common other than the main subject of the meeting.

The formula goes like this:

First Commonality + Second Commonality = Potential Friendship

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Most people think they need one commonality with a person to create a friendship, and it can be frustrating and lonely when they actually meet interesting people but can’t make friends with them. Now that you know this crucial tip, you can discover even more pieces to your success in getting the friends you want in your life.

Go Further

If you want to learn to get free tips on how to overcome your emotional blocks that prevent you from meeting people, and more specific techniques on how to meet interesting people and make friends, then get on my Free Social Skills Newsletter. Just scroll down and head over to the Get The Friends You Want site.

 

 

More by this author

Paul Sanders

A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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