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5 Things Our Parents Expect From Us During Old Age

5 Things Our Parents Expect From Us During Old Age

Studies suggest that most aging parents are unhappy with their children and complain for the lack of ‘understanding’. On the other hand, children believe that parents have very high expectations from them. In addition to this, most children don’t even know what their parents actually ‘want’ from them. This causes the tiff that most parents and children find hard to end.

To help you strengthen your bond with your aging parents, given below are six things your parents actually expect from you.

1. Time: Sit With Them!

“Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” – Proverbs 23:22

Time, without a doubt, is the biggest asset. According to reports, most parents wait for their children to visit home and give them time and attention.

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Your parents understand that you have to go and live your life, however, they expect you to come to them or at least call them to talk to them. They do not want to be a part of those 70% of people who only speak to their parents once a month.

A good option is to remember their milestones, such as their birthdays and wedding anniversaries. Pay them a visit on their special day, or make your presence felt with the help of gifts. And in case you live in the same town as your parents, you may have a day dedicated to your parents.

If you do not know how to strike a conversation, talk to them about your past moments. Look at old photographs and remember happy times.

2. Emotional Support: I’m Here For You!

You need to understand that your parents are getting old and they may not be as strong or quick as they once were. You need to meet pace with them and lend them emotional support when needed. This is why it is important to communicate with your parents. If you do not talk to them, you will not realize their issues or the problems they face.

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You should also look at finding a caregiver for them to make them feel less dependable. An app like Honor can help you find the right help and stay in touch with your parents. When they have someone hired by you taking care of them, they will feel you are there for them and you actually do care, even if you are not physically present there.

3. Financial Support: They Helped You Too!

Be a giver, it will make you feel more satisfied. It may sound like a burden, but it’s important to stay connected with your parents. You may divide responsibility between siblings to ease off some of the pressure.

Also remember that there are tax implications of supporting your parent, which may be beneficial for you.

Other than this, you may help find financial aid programs for your parents and help them signup. The department of ageing can help you do this.

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4. Decision Making: Hear What They Have to Say

You have to give respect to your parents and listen to what they have to say. There seems to be a generation gap and most children believe that their parents do not understand their problems. However, we tend to neglect the real life experience our parents have.

Your parents may have some excellent life and career related suggestions for you. Let your parents be a part of your life by letting them know of your important decisions, including moving out, job and marriage. While you may not necessary do as they want you to do, but listening to them would really help.

Remember that there exists a very thin line between controlling and caring, and you need to see it and make it matter. A good example would be The Gilmore Girls, a show that highlighted parenting issues. On one side is Lorelai’s relationship with her bossy parents, and on the other hand is her relationship with her daughter where they listen to each other but do as they please.

5. Work Hard: They Want You to Succeed

Your parents want you to find success and be happy. They do not want children who have no aim in life. Remember what your parents taught you and let them know their teachings matter.

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According to a 2004 study, old people often realize the mistake they have made and do not want their children to repeat the same. They want you to be a better human and find success in what you do.

It should also be remembered that the culture you live in also changes what your parents expect out of you. For example, 70% of Indian parents want to live with their children, while a majority of American parents prefer to live on their own. The solution lies in being there for your parents and listening to them. Also, remember that you will need a lot of patience to deal with your parents, but once you learn the art it would be a smooth sail.

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Ahmed Raza

CEO of Samurais.co

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Last Updated on December 9, 2019

5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

Everyone experiences mental stress at one time or another. Maybe you’re starting a new career, job, or business, or you feel incredibly overwhelmed between work, parenting, and your love life (or a lack of it). It could even be that you simply feel that you have way too much to do and not enough time to do it,  plus, on top of everything, nothing seems to be going the way it should!

Yup, we all experience mental stress from time-to-time, and that’s okay as long as you have the tools, techniques and knowledge that allow you to fully relieve it once it comes.

Here are 5 tips for relieving mental stress when it comes so you can function at your best while feeling good (and doing well) in work, love, or life:

1. Get Rationally Optimistic

Mental stress starts with your perception of your experiences. For instance, most people get stressed out when they perceive their reality as “being wrong” in some way. Essentially, they have a set idea of how things “should be” at any given moment, and when reality ends up being different (not even necessarily bad), they get stressed.

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This process is simply a result of perception and can be easily “fixed” by recognizing that although life might not always be going as YOU think it should, it’s still going as it should—for your own benefit.

In fact, once you fully recognize that everything in your life ultimately happens for your own growth, progress, and development—so you can achieve your goals and dreams—your perception works in your favor. You soon process and respond to your experience of life differently, for your advantage. That’s the essence of becoming “rationally optimistic.”

The result: no more mental stress.

2. Unplug

Just like you might need to unplug your computer when it starts acting all crazy, you should also “unplug” your mind.

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How on earth do you unplug your mind? Simple: just meditate.

It isn’t nearly difficult or complicated as some people think, so, if you don’t already meditate, give it a try. Whether you meditate for 5 minutes, 30 minutes, or 2 hours, this is a surefire way to reduce mental stress.

Meditation has been scientifically proven to relax your body (resulting in less mental stress), while also reducing anxiety and high blood pressure.

3. Easy on the Caffeine

Yes, we know, we know—everyone loves a nice java buzz, and that’s okay, but there’s a fine line between a small caffeine pick-me-up and a racing heart and mind that throws you into a frenzy of mental stress.

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Try giving up caffeine for a while and see how you feel. And, if that’s completely out of the question for you, at least try to minimize it. You might find that lots of your mental stress mysteriously “disappears” as your caffeine intake goes down.

4. Attack Mental Stress Via the Back Door

That’s right: your body and mind are part of the whole being, and are constantly influencing and affecting each other. If you’re experiencing a lot of mental stress, try to reduce it by calming your body down—a calm body equals a calmer mind.

How do you calm your body down and reduce physical stress? A  great way to reduce physical stress (thereby reducing mental stress) is to take natural supplements that are proven to reduce stress and anxiety while lifting your mood. Three good ones to look into are kava-kava, St John’s wort, and rhodiola rosea:

  • Kava-kava is a natural plant known to have mild sedative properties, and you should be able to find it at your natural health food store or vitamin store. It’s available in capsules or liquid extract form.
  • St John’s wort is a natural flower used to treat depression. Again, it’s found at your local health store in capsules or liquid. Because it uplifts mood (enabling you to see the brighter side of all experiences) it helps relieve mental stress as well.
  • Rhodiola rosea is a natural plant shown to reduce stress and uplift mood, and Russian athletes have been using it forever. Like the other two supplements mentioned, rhodiola rosea can be found at your natural health store in capsule or liquid form.

While these supplements are all natural and can be very helpful for most people, always check with your health care provider first as they can cause side-effects depending on your current health situation etc.

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5. Good Old-Fashioned Exercise

This tip has been around forever because it works. Nothing relieves mental stress like running, kickboxing—you name it. Anything super-physical will wipe out most of your mental stresses once the exercise endorphins (happy chemicals) are released into your brain.

The result: mental stress will be gone!

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or just plain stressed, try using some of the above tips. You can even print this out or save it to refer to regularly.

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Featured photo credit: Radu Florin via unsplash.com

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