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5 Things Our Parents Expect From Us During Old Age

5 Things Our Parents Expect From Us During Old Age

Studies suggest that most aging parents are unhappy with their children and complain for the lack of ‘understanding’. On the other hand, children believe that parents have very high expectations from them. In addition to this, most children don’t even know what their parents actually ‘want’ from them. This causes the tiff that most parents and children find hard to end.

To help you strengthen your bond with your aging parents, given below are six things your parents actually expect from you.

1. Time: Sit With Them!

“Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” – Proverbs 23:22

Time, without a doubt, is the biggest asset. According to reports, most parents wait for their children to visit home and give them time and attention.

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Your parents understand that you have to go and live your life, however, they expect you to come to them or at least call them to talk to them. They do not want to be a part of those 70% of people who only speak to their parents once a month.

A good option is to remember their milestones, such as their birthdays and wedding anniversaries. Pay them a visit on their special day, or make your presence felt with the help of gifts. And in case you live in the same town as your parents, you may have a day dedicated to your parents.

If you do not know how to strike a conversation, talk to them about your past moments. Look at old photographs and remember happy times.

2. Emotional Support: I’m Here For You!

You need to understand that your parents are getting old and they may not be as strong or quick as they once were. You need to meet pace with them and lend them emotional support when needed. This is why it is important to communicate with your parents. If you do not talk to them, you will not realize their issues or the problems they face.

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You should also look at finding a caregiver for them to make them feel less dependable. An app like Honor can help you find the right help and stay in touch with your parents. When they have someone hired by you taking care of them, they will feel you are there for them and you actually do care, even if you are not physically present there.

3. Financial Support: They Helped You Too!

Be a giver, it will make you feel more satisfied. It may sound like a burden, but it’s important to stay connected with your parents. You may divide responsibility between siblings to ease off some of the pressure.

Also remember that there are tax implications of supporting your parent, which may be beneficial for you.

Other than this, you may help find financial aid programs for your parents and help them signup. The department of ageing can help you do this.

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4. Decision Making: Hear What They Have to Say

You have to give respect to your parents and listen to what they have to say. There seems to be a generation gap and most children believe that their parents do not understand their problems. However, we tend to neglect the real life experience our parents have.

Your parents may have some excellent life and career related suggestions for you. Let your parents be a part of your life by letting them know of your important decisions, including moving out, job and marriage. While you may not necessary do as they want you to do, but listening to them would really help.

Remember that there exists a very thin line between controlling and caring, and you need to see it and make it matter. A good example would be The Gilmore Girls, a show that highlighted parenting issues. On one side is Lorelai’s relationship with her bossy parents, and on the other hand is her relationship with her daughter where they listen to each other but do as they please.

5. Work Hard: They Want You to Succeed

Your parents want you to find success and be happy. They do not want children who have no aim in life. Remember what your parents taught you and let them know their teachings matter.

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According to a 2004 study, old people often realize the mistake they have made and do not want their children to repeat the same. They want you to be a better human and find success in what you do.

It should also be remembered that the culture you live in also changes what your parents expect out of you. For example, 70% of Indian parents want to live with their children, while a majority of American parents prefer to live on their own. The solution lies in being there for your parents and listening to them. Also, remember that you will need a lot of patience to deal with your parents, but once you learn the art it would be a smooth sail.

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Ahmed Raza

CEO of Samurais.co

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Last Updated on March 13, 2019

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on the small tasks.

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

2. Take a break from your work desk.

Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.

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3. Upgrade yourself

Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a friend.

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

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6. Paint a vision to work towards.

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

7. Read a book (or blog).

The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as Lifehack.org, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

8. Have a quick nap.

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.

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9. Remember why you are doing this.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

10. Find some competition.

Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

11. Go exercise.

Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

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Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

12. Take a good break.

Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

More Resources About Getting out of a Rut

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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