Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on August 23, 2018

How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say

How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say

One of the BIGGEST problems you may face when trying to meet new friends is the awkward silence. Encountering this situation is so uncomfortable that it can even force you to avoid meeting new people in the first place, but there is a way to get around it.

In the past, I I struggled with this so much that I thought it could never be solved. I even thought it had to do with my DNA or something… but I proved myself wrong when I learned how to solve it.

Not knowing how to keep a conversation going can harm your social life, but if you know how to keep those words flowing, you can meet, talk to, and get to know pretty much anyone you like—creating great possibilities for friendship, fun and shared activities that you would otherwise have missed out on.

Why you run out of things to say

After studying this in depth, I found patterns of behavior that can keep you from making great conversation with people. One of these common behaviors is the habit of filtering—holding back from saying something until you’ve “checked” with yourself to make sure that what you’re about to say is cool, impressive, smart, and interesting.

What does that do to your conversation ability? It kills it!

Advertising

Another problem is not learning to get in the mood for conversation. If you spent a whole day working or studying analytical or logical subjects, and you don’t know how to switch from that, then it can take a lot of time to warm up and start interacting with people socially.

You can overcome this simply by learning a few new skills, such as the ones listed below. Once you do that, you’ll be able to talk to new people, and make friends, much more easily.

How to keep conversations going

Let’s get you started with a couple of basic,  yet solid techniques on how to be a great conversationalist:

Technique #1 No Filtering

    This is the reflex that allows you to say whatever goes on in your mind. No filtering, no checking with yourself  “would I sound cool if I say this?”. None of that.

    Advertising

    The best way to practice this is to start doing it with people you kind of know—do you dare to try it? It’s fun to realize that you’re allowed to say whatever is on your mind, and no-one is going to judge you for it.

    As long as you don’t say anything that could land you in jail, you’re okay! People don’t care too much about how “awesome” what you’re saying is, because they’re too focused on how THEY are coming across. Get it? If so, let’s move on…

    Technique #2 “Interesting, tell me more!”

      This works 99% of the time. It’s a surefire technique, and it works especially well for beginners. People love to know that you’re interested in what they have to say, so if you show some interest, they’ll hang around and want to talk to you even more.

      All of the “oh! that’s interesting…”, “Hmm, I’ve never heard of that”, “Hmm, cool!”expressions are reactionary bits of conversation that prove to the other person that you’re really listening, and that’s very flattering to them.

      Advertising

      Technique #3 Stories from everywhere

        Everyone knows that stories juice-up conversations, but most people only talk about stories their own lives. You don’t have to draw from your own experience when speaking with someone: you can use stories from anywhere, from stories that happened to people you know, to those you came across via the radio,TV, magazines, etc.

        How can you integrate the stories into your conversation? The key is to first realize that you can use them. You’ve already heard them, and the more interesting or weird they are, the harder they are to forget, so you’re all good.

        Your brain doesn’t lose them. When someone mentions something related to any of them, just tell the story, even if it’s not from your life. It can be any silly story, short or long, interesting, or totally awkward—just use it!

        People love talking to people who can just share stuff openly like that. These techniques should get you started, but if you want to take it to an advanced level—to the point where you can just have fun when talking to anyone, meet the right people you want in your life, and be able to make friends with them fast—then I recommend that you take a little time to learn more about how conversations work.

        Advertising

        If you do that, you’ll make conversations far more interesting, with natural ease, avoiding all awkward silences that might prevent you from meeting the right friends that you would love to have around.

        The bottom line

        Now that you know the tricks to keep a conversation going, the next thing you should do it apply one of these tricks the next time you talk with someone.

        Don’t overwhelm yourself trying to use all these tricks at the same time, get used to one of these first. When you can master one of the tricks, you’ll feel more confident to apply the other techniques in your upcoming conversations too!

        If you’re looking for tips on how to start a conversation try the FORM technique!

        Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

        More by this author

        What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say 7 Tips How to Make Friends During College 5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It How To Quietly Build A Social Life

        Trending in Communication

        1 15 Ways to Practice Positive Self-Talk for Success 2 27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down 3 How to Find Motivation When You’re Totally Burnt Out 4 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life 5 Top 10 Online Learning Sites To Advance Communication Skills at Work

        Read Next

        Advertising
        Advertising

        Last Updated on October 9, 2018

        27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

        27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

        Who has never gone through some ups and downs in the life? But some people can feel better in a quicker way than others because they’ve found their own remedies to heal the bad feelings.

        If you haven’t found yours, these ways will help you instantly feel better and ditch that negative self talk when you’re feeling bad about yourself:

        Advertising

        1. Listen to the songs you loved when you were in high school or university, this will recall you of the old good times.
        2. Write something. Write down how you feel as a way to express your thoughts if you don’t feel like talking to anyone.
        3. Draw something. Draw anything you want because no one’s going to judge your drawing skills.
        4. Read the postcards or letters your friends or family sent you before, remind yourself there are people who always remember you.
        5. Silently think of a day or moment which you truly enjoyed and try to recapture that very first feeling. Was it the day of your graduation? The moment you traveled with your loved one?
        6. Take out your photo albums and go over your childhood photos.
        7. Cry when you feel like doing so. There’s nothing wrong with crying; cry out all your fear and stress and just face the truth after crying.
        8. Sing loudly like no one can hear you. Do you know that in Japan, people always sing karaoke to relieve stress?
        9. Cook a nice meal for yourself or for your family.
        10. Read your previous diary entries and look at your great memories.
        11. Dress up nicely to feel happier.
        12. Don’t stay in your bed! Get your laptop or a book and sit in a coffee place.
        13. Take a walk outside and feel the fresh air.
        14. Sweat yourself! Go jogging or play some sports.
        15. Pick up the musical instrument you used to play a lot and start to play it.
        16. Tidy up your desk or wardrobe, you’ll feel good that you’re being productive and actually doing something.
        17. Watch some funny videos, sure you can find a lot of them on Youtube.
        18. Eat something you like, be it a chocolate cake, or an ice-cream. Just please yourself with the flavour you like.
        19. Re-read your favorite book and write down the sentences or passages that you love.
        20. Watch a new movie, there must be a movie which you’ve always interested in but had no time to watch it.
        21. Do something nice that no one will notice, say picking up a rubbish in the street and throw it to a trash bin.
        22. Call your best friend and just talk whatever you want! Human beings are social animals after all, connecting with people close to you will make you feel better.
        23. Do voluntary work and help people in need, you’ll feel happy and satisfied.
        24. Get drunk with your close friends at home – a safe place for you to get drunk and get crazy. Let loose and have fun with your very close friends.
        25. Write an email or a note to a friend who you care about.
        26. Get out of your routine life and meet new friends. Get out of your comfort zone! Meeting new people can give you new inspirations in life.
        27. Look into the mirror and smile. Act like today’s already a wonderful day. How we act affects how we feel. It’s difficult to go on feeling sad if you’re trying to smile!

        Remember:

        Advertising

        It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.  — Epictetus

        If you want to feel better, change what you’re doing because obviously what you’re doing doesn’t make you happy!

        Advertising

        Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

        Advertising

        Read Next