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Last Updated on November 28, 2017

The One Rule to Keep Every Conversation Going Naturally

The One Rule to Keep Every Conversation Going Naturally

How often are you speaking to someone new, feeling like the conversation’s going pretty well, and then…

Silence hits. You don’t know what to say. They don’t know what to say. This is so awkward. What do you do?

Luckily, there’s one simple rule that can keep every conversation flowing naturally, no matter who you’re speaking to.

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Whatever you say, make sure 30% of it is new information.

No conversation will last long with the same information being repeated over and over – it gets boring, and there’s no new stimulation.

When you don’t add new information, the conversation becomes like an inverted pyramid. The more you talk, the less information is exchanged. By using the 30% rule, both you and your friend will be learning new things all the time, keeping the conversation fresh and interesting.

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    Example #1

    Friend: “The food at that restaurant was amazing!”

    What you shouldn’t say: “Yeah, it was good.”

    What you should say: “It was – I especially liked the way they seasoned their fries. It reminded me of another place I visited last week… (continue by adding info on the other restaurant).

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    Example #2

    Friend: “That test was WAY too difficult, I’m sure I failed.”

    What you shouldn’t say: “True, it was pretty hard.”

    What you should say: “You’re right, which question did you find the hardest? The essay on language wasn’t too bad, I wrote about… (talk about how you answered the question).

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    Why only 30% new information?

    If you add too much new information, the conversation can easily become one-sided. The person you’re speaking to might feel like you’re not listening to them, you’re simply reciting lots of things you know – and that’s a more of a lecture than a conversation!

    The two things you need for the 30% rule to work.

    Both people need to be interested in continuing the conversation.

    If the person you’re speaking to has somewhere to be, is getting tired, or just doesn’t feel like talking, this rule probably won’t work. That’s okay – just carry on the conversation at another time, when you both feel like chatting.

    The current topic can’t be expanded on.

    Not every topic offers lots of opportunity for you to add new information. If someone says something like,”That banana was tasty,” you might feel there’s not much to add. In this case, simply acknowledge what the other person said and then bring up a new topic, one that has more room for discussion.

    More by this author

    Eloise Best

    Content Writer

    4 Simple Ways to Make Boring Work Become Interesting Why We Lose Motivation Once in a While and How to Fix It Forever The One Rule to Keep Every Conversation Going Naturally Sorry, These Phrases in Conversations Do Not Make You Funny, but Boring See How You Don’t Have To Start Your Weight Loss Journey Sweaty!

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    Last Updated on October 18, 2018

    50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

    50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

    Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

    It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

    It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

    Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

    Quotes for self-assurance

    1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

      2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

        3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

          4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

            5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

              6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

                Quotes about positivity

                7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                  8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                    9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                      10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                        11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                          12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                            13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                              Quotes for work and success

                              14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                                15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                  16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                    17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                      18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                        19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                          20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                            21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                              22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                                23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                  24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                    25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                      26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                        27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                          28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                            29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                              30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                                31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                  32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                    33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                      34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                        35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                          36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                            37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                              38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                                39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                  40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                    41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                      42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                        43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                          44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                            45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                              Quotes about money

                                                                                              46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                                47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                  48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                    49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                      50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                        51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                          If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                          How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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