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The One Rule to Keep Every Conversation Going Naturally

The One Rule to Keep Every Conversation Going Naturally

How often are you speaking to someone new, feeling like the conversation’s going pretty well, and then…

Silence hits. You don’t know what to say. They don’t know what to say. This is so awkward. What do you do?

Luckily, there’s one simple rule that can keep every conversation flowing naturally, no matter who you’re speaking to.

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Whatever you say, make sure 30% of it is new information.

No conversation will last long with the same information being repeated over and over – it gets boring, and there’s no new stimulation.

When you don’t add new information, the conversation becomes like an inverted pyramid. The more you talk, the less information is exchanged. By using the 30% rule, both you and your friend will be learning new things all the time, keeping the conversation fresh and interesting.

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    Example #1

    Friend: “The food at that restaurant was amazing!”

    What you shouldn’t say: “Yeah, it was good.”

    What you should say: “It was – I especially liked the way they seasoned their fries. It reminded me of another place I visited last week… (continue by adding info on the other restaurant).

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    Example #2

    Friend: “That test was WAY too difficult, I’m sure I failed.”

    What you shouldn’t say: “True, it was pretty hard.”

    What you should say: “You’re right, which question did you find the hardest? The essay on language wasn’t too bad, I wrote about… (talk about how you answered the question).

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    Why only 30% new information?

    If you add too much new information, the conversation can easily become one-sided. The person you’re speaking to might feel like you’re not listening to them, you’re simply reciting lots of things you know – and that’s a more of a lecture than a conversation!

    The two things you need for the 30% rule to work.

    Both people need to be interested in continuing the conversation.

    If the person you’re speaking to has somewhere to be, is getting tired, or just doesn’t feel like talking, this rule probably won’t work. That’s okay – just carry on the conversation at another time, when you both feel like chatting.

    The current topic can’t be expanded on.

    Not every topic offers lots of opportunity for you to add new information. If someone says something like,”That banana was tasty,” you might feel there’s not much to add. In this case, simply acknowledge what the other person said and then bring up a new topic, one that has more room for discussion.

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    Eloise Best

    Eloise is an everyday health expert and runs My Vegan Supermarket, a vegan blog and database of supermarket products.

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    Last Updated on January 21, 2020

    How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

    How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

    If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

    Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

    So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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    1. Listen

    Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

    2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

    Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

    “Why do you want to do that?”

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    “What makes you so excited about it?”

    “How long has that been your dream?”

    You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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    3. Encourage

    This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

    4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

    After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

    5. Dream

    This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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    6. Ask How You Can Help

    Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

    7. Follow Up

    Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

    Final Thoughts

    By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

    Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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    Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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