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The One Rule to Keep Every Conversation Going Naturally

The One Rule to Keep Every Conversation Going Naturally

How often are you speaking to someone new, feeling like the conversation’s going pretty well, and then…

Silence hits. You don’t know what to say. They don’t know what to say. This is so awkward. What do you do?

Luckily, there’s one simple rule that can keep every conversation flowing naturally, no matter who you’re speaking to.

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Whatever you say, make sure 30% of it is new information.

No conversation will last long with the same information being repeated over and over – it gets boring, and there’s no new stimulation.

When you don’t add new information, the conversation becomes like an inverted pyramid. The more you talk, the less information is exchanged. By using the 30% rule, both you and your friend will be learning new things all the time, keeping the conversation fresh and interesting.

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    Example #1

    Friend: “The food at that restaurant was amazing!”

    What you shouldn’t say: “Yeah, it was good.”

    What you should say: “It was – I especially liked the way they seasoned their fries. It reminded me of another place I visited last week… (continue by adding info on the other restaurant).

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    Example #2

    Friend: “That test was WAY too difficult, I’m sure I failed.”

    What you shouldn’t say: “True, it was pretty hard.”

    What you should say: “You’re right, which question did you find the hardest? The essay on language wasn’t too bad, I wrote about… (talk about how you answered the question).

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    Why only 30% new information?

    If you add too much new information, the conversation can easily become one-sided. The person you’re speaking to might feel like you’re not listening to them, you’re simply reciting lots of things you know – and that’s a more of a lecture than a conversation!

    The two things you need for the 30% rule to work.

    Both people need to be interested in continuing the conversation.

    If the person you’re speaking to has somewhere to be, is getting tired, or just doesn’t feel like talking, this rule probably won’t work. That’s okay – just carry on the conversation at another time, when you both feel like chatting.

    The current topic can’t be expanded on.

    Not every topic offers lots of opportunity for you to add new information. If someone says something like,”That banana was tasty,” you might feel there’s not much to add. In this case, simply acknowledge what the other person said and then bring up a new topic, one that has more room for discussion.

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    Eloise Best

    Content Writer

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    Last Updated on February 13, 2019

    10 Things Happy People Do Differently

    10 Things Happy People Do Differently

    Think being happy is something that happens as a result of luck, circumstance, having money, etc.? Think again.

    Happiness is a mindset. And if you’re looking to improve your ability to find happiness, then check out these 10 things happy people do differently.

    Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. -Dalai Lama

    1. Happy people find balance in their lives.

    Folks who are happy have this in common: they’re content with what they have, and don’t waste a whole lot of time worrying and stressing over things they don’t. Unhappy people do the opposite: they spend too much time thinking about what they don’t have. Happy people lead balanced lives. This means they make time for all the things that are important to them, whether it’s family, friends, career, health, religion, etc.

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    2. Happy people abide by the golden rule.

    You know that saying you heard when you were a kid, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Well, happy people truly embody this principle. They treat others with respect. They’re sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of other people. They’re compassionate. And they get treated this way (most of the time) in return.

    3. Happy people don’t sweat the small stuff.

    One of the biggest things happy people do differently compared to unhappy people is they let stuff go. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. Happy people realize this, are able to take things in stride, and move on. Unhappy people tend to dwell on minor inconveniences and issues, which can perpetuate feelings of sadness, guilt, resentment, greed, and anger.

    4. Happy people take responsibility for their actions.

    Happy people aren’t perfect, and they’re well aware of that. When they screw up, they admit it. They recognize their faults and work to improve on them. Unhappy people tend to blame others and always find an excuse why things aren’t going their way. Happy people, on the other hand, live by the mantra:

    “There are two types of people in the world: those that do and those that make excuses why they don’t.”

    5. Happy people surround themselves with other happy people.

    happiness surrounding

      One defining characteristic of happy people is they tend to hang out with other happy people. Misery loves company, and unhappy people gravitate toward others who share their negative sentiments. If you’re struggling with a bout of sadness, depression, worry, or anger, spend more time with your happiest friends or family members. Chances are, you’ll find that their positive attitude rubs off on you.

      6. Happy people are honest with themselves and others.

      People who are happy often exhibit the virtues of honesty and trustworthiness. They would rather give you candid feedback, even when the truth hurts, and they expect the same in return. Happy people respect people who give them an honest opinion.

      7. Happy people show signs of happiness.

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      smile

        This one may sound obvious but it’s a key differentiator between happy and unhappy people. Think about your happiest friends. Chances are, the mental image you form is of them smiling, laughing, and appearing genuinely happy. On the flip side, those who aren’t happy tend to look the part. Their posture may be slouched and you may perceive a lack of confidence.

        8. Happy people are passionate.

        Another thing happy people have in common is their ability to find their passions in life and pursue those passions to the fullest. Happy people have found what they’re looking for, and they spend their time doing what they love.

        9. Happy people see challenges as opportunities.

        Folks who are happy accept challenges and use them as opportunities to learn and grow. They turn negatives into positives and make the best out of seemingly bad situations. They don’t dwell on things that are out of their control; rather, they seek solutions and creative ways of overcoming obstacles.

        10. Happy people live in the present.

        While unhappy people tend to dwell on the past and worry about the future, happy people live in the moment. They are grateful for “the now” and focus their efforts on living life to the fullest in the present. Their philosophy is:

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        There’s a reason it’s called “the present.” Because life is a gift.

        So if you’d like to bring a little more happiness into your life, think about the 10 principles above and how you can use them to make yourself better.

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