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20 Things You Need to Stop Doing

20 Things You Need to Stop Doing

Life is short. It may feel like it takes forever sometimes, but the reality is that you live, and a short time later, you die. It happens so quickly, many people don’t even realize they had a life until it’s already over. If you don’t want to be one of those people who looks back on their life with regret, here are some things you need to stop doing immediately:

1 – Stop Doubting Yourself

If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody will. Success starts in your mind, and if all you’re doing is putting yourself down and predicting failure, it’ll become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead of doubting yourself, think positively. Not only will you be happier and more successful, you’ll spread it to everyone around you. Get some tips to help you think more positively with this lifehack.

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    2 – Stop Being Negative

    Now that you’re done doubting yourself, stop doubting others. You don’t like when people are critical of you, so stop being critical of others. Think about how you make other people feel – even if you have good intentions, people don’t like hearing negativity. Stop saying negative things in negative ways and learn how to criticize without causing offense with this lifehack.

    3 – Stop Procrastinating

    I don’t feel like procrastinating right now – I’ll do it tomorrow. When you procrastinate, you remain stagnant. Whatever you’re putting off doesn’t go away; it stays in front of you like a carrot on a stick. Take the carrot, resolve the problem, and move on. You’ll be much happier in the long run. Don’t wait – learn how to stop procrastinating with this lifehack.

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    4 – Stop Being Mean

    It’s completely possible to step on someone’s toes without meaning to – it happens all the time. There’s no need to pile on by purposefully doing mean things, so make a conscious effort to stop being mean. If someone wrongs you, let it go. There’s no need to seek vengeance unless that’s the type of person you want to be. Learn how to stop being mean with this lifehack.

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      5 – Stop Eating Out

      Eating out is the biggest waste of money. Every so often it’s nice to treat yourself, but eating out for every meal is the quickest way to drain your bank account. Learn how to cook at least a handful of foods you enjoy: It’ll save you money, keep you healthier, and occasionally impress people. Improve your cooking skills with this lifehack.

      6 – Stop Being Lazy

      Lazy people are annoying – it’s like pulling teeth getting them to do anything. If I can’t do something as simple as going to a movie with you without having to factor in an hour of convincing you to get your lazy butt out of bed, I’d rather go alone. People have enough trouble motivating themselves; don’t make your friends and family waste their valuable energy motivating you as well. Tired of being lazy? Learn how to stop being lazy with this lifehack.

      7 – Stop Complaining

      We all have problems, and sometimes we need to vent to someone. That’s acceptable, but pay attention to how often you’re venting. If you have a friend you always vent to but never talk to about happy subjects, from that person’s perspective, you’re a Debbie (or Donald) Downer. We all love helping our friends and family, but when all you get from someone is negativity, it’s easier to cut them off than help, especially if they’re always complaining about the same things. If you must complain, learn how to complain successfully with this lifehack.

      8 – Stop Being Selfish

      If you only think about yourself, you’ll soon find yourself by yourself. Stop for a minute and think about how your actions affect other people – did you take the last cup of coffee from the break room? Refill it! Do you live with others? Don’t drink out the milk carton. We share this world 100% of the time, so every action you take can affect other people. If you’re not sure whether or not you’re selfish, learn how to spot selfish with this lifehack.

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        9 – Stop Wasting Time

        I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: time is the most valuable resource we have. Don’t waste your time on unproductive things. If you want to explore the world’s dark corners, that’s great. I still associate with people who have not-so-kosher careers, but I don’t hang out with those people at the expense of my own short- and long-term goals. Learn more about how to stop wasting time with bad friends with this lifehack.

        10 – Stop Watching TV

        I won’t stand on a moral soapbox about why your television set is a tool of the devil. I love TV shows, and I think we’re experiencing a Renaissance of quality content. The problem is that cable television is a dead medium. Those of you still tuning in regularly are holding back the progression of entertainment technology. You’re keeping cable on life support and encouraging providers to price gouge on internet. Stop ruining it for everyone and cut the cord already: learn how to live without a TV with this lifehack.

        11 – Stop Making Promises

        Always under-promise and over-deliver. When you make a promise, you’re adding responsibility to your plate that, despite all your best intentions, you may not be able to deliver on. More often than not, your promise is an absolute (i.e “I promise I’ll always love you”), and only Sith deal in absolutes. Instead of making a promise with your words, simply be there when people need you, and exceed their expectations with your actions. Learn more about promises with this lifehack.

        12 – Stop Being Complacent

        It’s cool to listen to people’s opinions; the problem comes when you follow everyone’s advice at the expense of having your own independent thoughts. Just because someone tells you to do something doesn’t mean it has to be done. Just because something is a law doesn’t mean it has to be followed. There is a difference between a just and an unjust law, and sometimes you have to shake things up for the greater good. Stop following and become a leader with this lifehack.

        13 – Stop Being a Pushover

        We live in a capitalistic society in which everyone’s trying to sell us something. There are scores of scientists whose only job is to figure out how to drain you of all your time, money, and other resources. Everyone’s looking out for themselves in one way or another, and you need to do the same. Stop putting yourself out because you’re too shy to say no. If you’re a pushover, learn some confidence tips and tricks with this lifehack.

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        14 – Stop Listening to Haters

        No matter what you want to do in life, there’s always someone around to tell you why it can’t and won’t work. I can come up with millions of reasons Twitter won’t work, and yet it’s one of the most popular social media sites on the web. My opinion didn’t stop Twitter’s success any more than it convinced Kobe Bryant to quit the NBA or Josh Hartnett to stop acting. Why would you let someone’s opinion stop you? Stop negative people in their tracks with this lifehack.

        15 – Stop Being Wasteful

        You don’t finish your meals, and away food instead. You leave the faucet running when you brush your teeth, pouring precious water down the drain. You drive places you could easily walk, burning gasoline (a non-renewable resource). You are wasteful, and it needs to stop. Follow the lead of large, respected corporations and go green with this lifehack.

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          16 – Stop Littering

          The only thing I hate more than wasteful people are litterbugs. Litterbugs are my least favorite bug, and there are more than you’d think. If you’ve ever thrown even one piece of gum, paper, candy wrapper, cigarette butt, etc on the ground, you’re a disgusting litterbug, and you should be ashamed of yourself. There are over 7 billion people in the world – if each person only throws one “innocent” piece of garbage on the ground, that’s 7 billion pieces of garbage littering a world in which nobody “did it”.

          Your one decision makes a HUGE difference, and I will not allow you to blow it off and walk around with your head held high. You’re a litterbug, and it needs to stop immediately. You don’t get a lifehack for this one, you filthy animal. Just stop – you already know how.

          17 – Stop Taking Everything Personally

          People get offended about the strangest things. Take Kendrick Lamar’s now-infamous verse on “Control” this summer: he called out a list of a dozen rappers he thinks he’s better than (and he’s right). The internet went crazy, and rappers all over the industry rushed to their mics to record a response. The thing is, all K-Dot said is he’s the best rapper. Everyone took it personally, and that’s exactly what he was going for. The lesson to learn from this is that not everything is about you, and if you’re easily upset, someone will use that to their advantage. Stop being so sensitive and learn to manage the people who bother you with this lifehack.

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          18 – Stop Talking

          Sometimes it’s best to just STFU – especially in relationships. I can’t even count how many times I created an issue that didn’t need to be an issue simply because I opened my mouth. Even if what you want to say is important, just shut up and ride it out. You can say more with your actions than words, and you can’t listen when you’re talking. Discover the perfect ratio of listening to talking with this lifehack.

          19 – Stop Ignoring Signs

          I sometimes think I’m mystical because I see signs other people don’t… like the speed limit. People like to look for divine signs telling them what they should be doing. I’m no fan of imaginary deities, but I wholeheartedly believe the path is there if you know where to look. It’s up to you to recognize and interpret the signs for your own life. Stop letting life pass you by, and learn to read signs with this lifehack.

          20 – Just Stop, and Breathe…

          No matter what you’re doing in life or how your day is going, there’s always room to just stop for a moment and just breathe. Try it right now to celebrate getting through this list of everything you’re doing wrong. You’ve been a great sport…now stop…breathe…and move on…

          Can’t move on? Learn 4 Unconventional Solutions for Getting Stuck

           

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          1 Why an Attitude of Gratitude Is Essential (And How to Develop It) 2 Procrastination Is a Matter of Emotion, Here’s How to Stop It 3 What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It) 4 How to Get Unstuck in Life and Live a More Fulfilling Life 5 What Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positive People?

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          Last Updated on March 30, 2020

          What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

          What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

          Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

          You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

          This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

          What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

          According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

          Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

          There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

          How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

          When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

          Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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          1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

          One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

          The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

          Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

          2. Be Honest

          A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

          If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

          On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

          Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

          3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

          Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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          If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

          4. Succeed at Something

          When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

          Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

          5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

          Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

          Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

          If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

          If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

          Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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          6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

          Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

          You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

          On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

          You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

          7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

          Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

          Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

          Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

          When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

          Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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          In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

          Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

          It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

          Final Thoughts

          When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

          The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

          Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

          Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

          Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

          More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

          Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

          Reference

          [1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
          [2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
          [3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
          [4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
          [5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
          [6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
          [7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
          [8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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