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20 Most Inspiring TED Talks of All Time That You Should Not Miss

20 Most Inspiring TED Talks of All Time That You Should Not Miss

1. Isabel Allende: How to live passionately–no matter your age

No. of views: 117,643

Message: Isabel Allende gives an incredible perspective on how to live your life. Regardless of how old you are, you have the choice to live passionately.

2. Ron McCallum: How technology allowed me to read

No. of views: 56,568

Message: Ron McCallum, a man who has been blind for over six decades, talks about how technology gives tremendous benefits to the visually impaired.

3. Dan Pink breaks down the science behind motivation

No. of views: 3,906,618

Message: Dan Pink talks about how incentive design doesn’t spark creativity. Traditional rewards aren’t always as effective as we think.

4. Brené Brown discusses her personal request to understand the vulnerability behind humanity

No. of views: 2,686,043

Message: The ability to feel connected is what makes us feel alive. Brené Brown teaches us that “shame” is the fear of disconnection, which results in our vulnerability.

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5. Simon Sinek shares the pattern of great leaders

No. of views: 3,348,336

Message: Simon Sinek shares how great leaders inspire others to take action.

6. Amy Cuddy: How your body language shapes who you are

No. of views: 4,974,714

Message: Amy Cuddy discusses the ways we use body language to change the way our life unfolds.

7. Sir Ken Robinson believes that schools are killing our creativity.

No. of views:  7,120,563

Message: Sir Ken Robinson discusses how children’s creativity is educated out of them. There needs to be an education system that nurtures (rather than undermines) creativity.

8. Angela Lee Duckworth defines the key to success in one small word

No. of views: 622,216

Message: Angela Lee Duckworth discusses how passion and perseverance can outweigh high IQs when it comes to success.

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9. Jane McGonigal promises to add 7.5 more minutes to your life

No. of views: 506,215

Message: Games can boost resilience, extend your lifespan and help avoid the five regrets of the dying, as Jane McGonigal explains in her talk.

10. David Pogue shares 10 simple, clever time saving tips for computer, web, smartphone and camera users.

No. of views: 475,454

Message: Save time to do more of what really matters to you. David Pogue shares his time-saving tips.

11. Alexander Tsiaras shares a powerful visualization of the human development.

No. of views: 1,674,559

Message: Alexander Tsiaras shares a powerful visualization of the development of the human body from conception.

12. Keith Barry shows how our brains can fool our bodies

No. of views: 3,059,461

Message: Our brains can be easily manipulated through the use of magic. Keith Barry shows us how.

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13. Shawn Achor shares the happy secret to better work

No. of views: 33,009

Message: Shawn gives a hilarious speech on the psychology of positivity and how happiness is what makes us work productively.

14. Pamela Meyer reveals how to spot a liar

No. of views: 4,217,711

Message: Honesty is a value worth preserving and recognizing. Pamela Meyer reveals tips and tricks on how to spot someone who isn’t telling the whole truth.

15. Elizabeth Gilbert believes that being a genius isn’t as rare as we believe

No. of views: 1,920,478

Message: Elizabeth Gilbert believes we all have a creative genius inside of us.

16. Dan Gilbert reveals the surprising science behind happiness

No. of views: 744,083

Message: We can feel truly happy even when things don’t go as planned, as Dan Gilbert explains in his TED talk.

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17. Tony Robbins discusses the invisible forces that inspires our action

No. of views: 744,083

Message: Emotion is the force of life. We have the ability to do things beyond ourselves. Tony Robbins explains more of this idea in his talk.

18. David Gallo shows jaw-dropping footage of the sea creatures of the deep

No. of views: 39,365

Message: More of our world should be investigated. You’ll be amazed at the footage David Gallo shows from the depths of the sea.

19. Susan Cain describes the secret power of introverts

No. of views: 3,381,559

Message: Introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world that should be celebrated. Susan Cain discusses in her talk what introverts bring to society.

20. Hans Rosling debunks myths about world development

No. of views: 1,219,945

Message: The U.S. may not be the best country in the world, and Hans Rosling tells the truths here.

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1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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