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8 Traits of the Most Resilient Person

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8 Traits of the Most Resilient Person

What is it about a good underdog story that everyone seems to love? Is it the fact they accomplished their dreams when no one believed in them? Or could it be their unwillingness to give up in the face of defeat? Regardless of what captured your attention, there is one important trait always found in an underdog—resilience. Do you want to learn the traits of a resilient person so you can develop the trait within yourself?

Here are the 8 traits all resilient people share, so you can start accomplishing your goals and live your dream life.

1. Optimistic

Staying motivated is a key trait of the most successful people, but how do they stay motivated? Sure, when things are going well, staying motivated isn’t difficult. However, when you hit a rough patch, motivation can quickly fade.

To stay motivated through the ups and the downs, you need to maintain a certain level of optimism. When your present environment leaves something to be desired, it will cause most people to quit. However, a resilient person will allow their optimistic view of the future to guide them.

2. Planner

Optimism can only get you so far. If you continue to face setbacks and challenges, it is only natural for someone to question if they are on the right path. A resilient person recognizes blind optimism can leave you running in the wrong direction. That is why you need a proper plan. By researching and understanding the results you want to create in your life, you will know with confidence you are on the right path.

When asked how it felt to win his fourth NBA Championship, LeBron James said he had faith because he had a process. He knew if he continued to do the things that won him a past championship, he would win another. Even though he missed the playoffs the previous season, he did not change his process. He knew the plan worked in the past, so it would work again in the future. You need to find someone who has created the results you seek and model their plan.

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3. Resolute

Failure is a natural and reoccurring part of life. Tenacity is the key difference between those who achieve their goals and those who fall short.[1]

Those who are persistent in the face of failure will eventually overcome any challenge. You may have heard the saying, “it is difficult to beat someone who never quits.” As simple of a saying as it is, you can immediately recognize the truth.

Who is a resilient person? The person who understands that it is not that the successful never fail, it’s that they simply never quit. If you are willing to stay the course, you will achieve the results you want.

4. Disciplined

Discipline is the ability to do what you need to do when you need to do it. Most will agree that discipline is one of the most difficult things to master. That is why it is so important for a resilient person to be a disciplined person.

Relying on self-discipline can be difficult, to say the least. That is why it is important to limit your need to use your own discipline all the time.

One good approach is to work with others. When you are a part of a mastermind or have an accountability partner, you have an extra layer of discipline at your disposal.[2] Whether you meet once a week, once a month, or once a year, you need to choose a schedule that works for you and your goal.

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If you want your partnerships to work out more frequently, you may need to meet multiple times a week. However, if your goal is to do some traveling, meeting once a quarter to make sure you are on track may be sufficient.

5. Resourceful

Resourcefulness is your ability to solve everyday problems. It is not simply a measurement of your intellect and cognitive abilities. Someone who is resilient uses their resourcefulness to process information emotionally as well as intellectually.

Studies show stress negatively impacts the performance of people who have a low level of resourcefulness. In fact, these studies note there is a direct relationship between resourcefulness and sociability, resilience, creativity, and self-awareness.[3] If you are ready to be a resilient person, then you must be ready to use some creative ways to solve problems.

6. Patient

As you have probably started to notice from the list of traits, you need to be committed for the long haul. Things are not always going to materialize immediately. Sometimes, it is a timing issue and you are doing everything right. The opportunity just needs time to emerge.

Consider a gardener who plants the seed of an orange tree on Monday and looks for a full-grown tree a week later. You understand that is not reasonable because you know it takes time for a seed to mature. It also takes water, sunlight, and nutrient-rich soil. We haven’t even talked about the years you would need to wait for your orange tree to produce fruit.

The problem is that most people don’t have a clear understanding of how long their goal will take to accomplish. You need to be reasonable and patient through the process.

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7. Grower

Someone who is resilient is not only patient in the process but patient with themselves, too. There are times when you are not yet the person you need to be to accomplish the goal you seek.

Another way to look at it is to recognize the habits of your life and the results they create. Someone who is healthy has a different set of daily habits than someone who is unhealthy. A successful investor has a different relationship with money than someone who doesn’t save anything. There is a growth each of you will go through as you work to achieve your goal.

This is much like a video game or your favorite action movie in many ways. In the beginning, you are not wise or strong enough to defeat the villain. Somewhere along the way, you lose and it requires you to reevaluate your effort. You then go off to train and become stronger. By the end, you have become a better version of yourself and you rise to the challenge to defeat your foe.

Someone who is resilient knows they have the ability to overcome life’s challenges if they continue to invest in their development.

8. Honest

Being honest is both an act of courage and an act of self-awareness. It is an act of courage because it requires you to do what is right, regardless of the circumstances.

Most resilient people know their efforts are not always going to be met with love and adoration. Yet, they still continue. They continue not because they are looking for recognition or applause. They continue because they are doing what they believe needs to be done.

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Most people are uncomfortable with the idea of being rejected by others. As a result, most people live a life that is not true to themselves. This is where self-awareness comes in. Even though most people do not live a life true to themselves, they are not aware of it. Being honest to others is one thing, but being honest to yourself is another.

Most people disguise their fabrications in the guise of being reasonable. They will say reasonable people give up on their dreams because dreams are for children and unreasonable themselves. This falsehood is the number one killer of dreams and people’s ability to be resilient. You must be honest with yourself about what it is that you want to accomplish with your life and be willing to go for it.

Final Thoughts

Who is a resilient person? If you are willing to add these traits to your life, you will be. The most resilient person is the person who stays the course when others would have quit. They recognize most people underestimate what they can accomplish in five years but overestimate what they can accomplish in one

The path to greatness is not always easy, but for those who are willing to stay the course, it is always worth it. Stay true to yourself and be willing to invest your time and resources into accomplishing your goals.

More Tips on How to Be a Resilient Person

Featured photo credit: Drop the Label Movement via unsplash.com

Reference

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Last Updated on January 19, 2022

What Is Fear-Based Motivation And Does It Work?

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What Is Fear-Based Motivation And Does It Work?

If you’ve ever thought or said something like this, then you are using fear-based motivation:

  • “If I don’t get that promotion, I’m going to be seen as a failure so I better stay up all night to work on this proposal.”
  • “If I speak up for school reform, the internet trolls are going to get me, so I better be quiet even though I care a lot about this issue.”
  • “If I don’t exercise enough, I’m going to look like crap, so I better go to the gym six days a week, even if my body is killing me.”

Fear-based motivation is exactly what it sounds like—getting yourself and others to do things out of fear of what will happen if you don’t do it and do it well.

What you might not know is that while fear-based motivation might work in the short term, it can have long-term detrimental effects on your performance, relationships, and well-being.

Is Fear-Based Motivation Helpful?

If using fear as motivation comes naturally for you, you aren’t alone. Our brains use fear to keep us out of trouble. Normally, you want to move away from what feels harmful towards what feels safe.

This brain function is important when there is a genuine threat to your well-being, like if there is a rattlesnake on the hiking trail. Your brain will use fear to motivate you to move away from the snake as quickly as possible. But when you use fear-based motivation to accomplish your life and career goals, the constant state of fear puts unnecessary stress on your mind and body and can end up working against you.

The Darkside of Fear-Based Motivation

Take, for example, when your trainer at your gym motivates you during your workout by yelling things like, “Bikini season is coming! You don’t want your cellulite to be the star of the show!” or “Burn off that piece of birthday cake you ate last night!”

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Sure, you might be motivated to do ten more burpees, but what is going on in the back of your mind? You probably have an image of a group of people standing around you at the beach laughing at you in your bikini, or you feel guilty about eating that piece of cake and criticize yourself for not being able to control yourself.

Reliance on Negative Thinking

For most of us, this type of thinking causes stress and can bring down our energy levels and mood. The reliance on negative thinking is the problem with fear-based motivation. It forces us to put our attention on what is wrong or what could go wrong instead of anticipating and celebrating what is right. This, in turn, narrows our focus and prevents us from seeing the bigger picture.

When your brain senses a threat, whether it’s a rattlesnake hiding in the grass or the possibility of being laughed at in your bikini, your brain will move you into a protective stance. Your vision narrows and you prepare to fight, flee or freeze.

You can probably imagine what this looks like in the case of a rattlesnake, but how does this impact your bikini experience?

The High Cost of Fear-Based Motivation

Imagine that you plan a beach vacation with your friends three months from now. The first thing you picture is sitting on the beach with your tummy rolls and cellulite. You immediately sign up for three months of boot camp classes at the gym and banish all sugar and booze from your diet. You are determined not to make a fool of yourself on the beach!

Will the fear of not looking like a supermodel under the beach umbrella motivate you to get in shape and eat better? Possibly. But at what cost?

For three months, every time you picture yourself looking “less than perfect” in your bikini, you feel fear of being ashamed. Shame makes you want to hide, and that makes it harder to find the motivation to go to the gym instead of sitting on the couch eating ice cream.

You become so focused on how you are going to look on the beach that you lose out on all the fun and joy of life. You pass up on going shopping with your friends for new outfits because you aren’t at your goal weight yet. You stop doing the things you love to do to spend more time at the gym. You avoid family gatherings where you will be confronted with tempting food. You over-train to the point of hurting yourself.

The Healthier Alternative to Fear-Based Motivation

Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel good in your bikini! If that’s important to you, keep your goal in mind but change the way you motivate yourself. Instead of using the fear of feeling ashamed to motivate you, try using love-based motivation.

Love-based motivation uses love instead of fear to lead and inspire you. It comes from a different part of your brain than fear-based motivation. Love-based motivation comes from the part of your brain that is responsible for joy, creativity, and passion.

5 Questions of Love-Based Motivation

There are many ways to deploy love-based motivation. The trick is to use one or all of the following to motivate you towards your goal: empathy, curiosity, innovation, vision, and heart-centered action.

Here are five questions you can use to motivate yourself using love-based motivation.

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1. What Would You Say to a Friend?

Chances are that you talk to your friends in a much kinder way and with more empathy than you talk to yourself. You wouldn’t tell a friend, “you better starve yourself and hit the gym three times a day to look good in that bikini!” Instead, you would probably say something like, “I’m so excited to go on this vacation with you! I can’t wait to spend time catching up while sipping margaritas on the beach.”

Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your friend.

2. What Are You Curious About Learning That Might Help You Get to Your Goal?

More often than not, achieving our goals is more about the journey it took us to get there than the goal itself. Curiosity makes journeys more fun. Perhaps you are curious about doing a triathlon but you don’t know how to run. If you spend three months learning to run, you would get into better shape and learn something new.

3. How Can You Get to Your Goal in a Way That Feels Good?

Using the “Yes, And” game is a great way to come up with innovative ideas for working towards your goals. If your first instinct is to go to the gym six days a week but you aren’t jazzed about it, find something that you like about that idea and make it better.

For example, if what you like about going to the gym is that you work up a sweat, what if instead of the gym, you join a dance class where you can learn some new moves to show off on your vacation?

4. What Is Important to You About Your Goal?

When you dig into your goal, chances are that you’ll find a deeper meaning. If your goal is to “look good in a bikini,” ask yourself why that’s important to you.

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For example, “I want to look good in my bikini because I want to have fun on vacation.” Then, ask yourself how much having fun on your vacation depends on how you look in your swimsuit.

5. What Heart-Centered Action Can You Take That Will Help You Reach Your Goal?

Whether your goal remains bikini-focused or changes to ways of having a good time on your vacation, choose an action that you can take that feels like it is coming from a place of love instead of fear.

For example, suggest to your friends that you take scuba diving classes as a group before vacation. It will get you moving and bring your friends together.

Long-Term Happiness and Satisfaction

Fear-based motivation may help you achieve your goals in the short term, but it won’t lead to long-term happiness and satisfaction. Fear isn’t designed to be used for long periods, and you will eventually tire of the fear and give up on your goals. Love, however, is designed for longevity.

Finding your motivation in a place of love will fuel you to reach your goals, whether your goals are about feeling good in a bikini, getting a promotion at work, or speaking up for what you believe in.

More Tips on Boosting Motivation

Featured photo credit: Jeremy Perkins via unsplash.com

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