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Published on February 1, 2021

Why Your Attitude Is Everything: 3 Attitudes You Need To Have

Why Your Attitude Is Everything: 3 Attitudes You Need To Have

Attitude is everything – my dad used to say those words to me when I was being a sore loser after losing in a game or sports. As I got older and wiser, like most of us do, I started to realize that my dad was absolutely right about that fact. And, I also started to realize that that lesson applied to more than just sports or activities.

Having the right attitude is key in all areas of life. Keep reading to learn why that is, and a few key attitudes that are must haves if you want to live a life of joy, fulfillment, and success.

Why Your Attitude Is So Important

“Control the controlable” – that’s a statement that makes every control freak shutter with disdain. At its core, what it’s saying is that we need to focus our energy on controlling the things we can actually control in some way, shape, or form, and not fret about those things that are out of our control. And if we’re being completely honest, there aren’t many things that we can control in life. But, one of the few things that we can always control is our attitude. And it’s vitally important that we do so. The reason why is because your attitude influences your actions. And we all know that it’s our actions that determine our success.

As the saying goes, “your attitude determines your altitude.” Meaning that, the type of attitude you approach life with will significantly impact the level of success you will or will not have. Typically, when someone has a bad attitude, it negatively affects their action. These are the naysayers, doubters, and negative Nancies of the world. I don’t know many of those types of people who are out there just killing it. In fact, those tend to be the people who, because of their frustration from a lack of results and success in their own lives, troll and try to tear down those who are trying to create success in theirs.

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On the other hand, when you have a positive attitude and outlook, you’re much more likely to take action and get things done. And, not only that, having a positive attitude makes you much more likely to be supportive of others and helpful to them in whatever it is that they have going on. So, an added benefit of a positive attitude is that you’re able to foster better relationships. I don’t know of many millionaires or billionaires that walk around with bad attitudes. In fact, it’s usually quite the opposite. They tend to have great attitudes and outlooks in life, which has allowed them to create the success they’ve achieved.

Now that we know why your attitude is so important, let’s look at a few must-have attitudes that you need in your life.

3 Must Have Attitudes in Life

1. Attitude of Positivity

Let’s take a moment to view your attitude as a pyramid – something that is systematically built over time. At the base of the pyramid would be positivity. Positivity is the prerequisite for all of the other attitudes you need to have in order to, as the Lifehack mission says, “live your best life without sacrifice.”

Positivity has a direct relationship with possibilities. People who are negative tend to have a fixed mindset, and are closed off to all of the possibility that exists in life. Negativity and a victim mindset go hand in hand. Conversely, when someone has a positive outlook and attitude, they are much more likely to have a growth mindset and are open to the abundance that exists within the world.

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As I mentioned above, whether you have a positive attitude or not, will affect the action you take. When we take action and achieve a desired outcome, we further expand our mind to possibilities, which furthers our positivity. And you’ll see why, in just a moment, that having a positive attitude is necessary for you to be able to have the other two attitudes we’re going to discuss.

2. Attitude of Gratitude

In this social media society that we live in, where comparison is a common trap to fall into, it’s very easy for someone to have a negative attitude. Someone might feel angry that they didn’t get the “lucky breaks” that the people they follow online did. Or, they may start to feel like a victim, who’s powerless to control their own destiny and achieve the results they desire in life. And once someone gets to that point, that’s when action becomes seemingly impossible, and people give up on the pursuit of their goals, dreams, or aspirations.

This phenomena is prevalent in lower income or disadvantaged communities. Young people grow up not seeing any models of success in their immediate environment. They are also fed limiting stories, from those closest to them, about their inability to ever be able to create a great life for themselves. So, they grow up with a fixed mindset about their potential. And those limiting stories, which often create their reality, leave them feel jaded and like life isn’t fair. All of that coupled together puts them into a state of negativity, which solidifies their inability to create a better life for themselves.

If you’re not careful, comparison will rip your life apart. That’s why an attitude of gratitude is so important. It takes you out of focusing on what you don’t have (i.e. being stuck in comparison mode and a negative attitude), and helps you to focus on all that you do have.

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When we think about life from an energetic perspective, there’s nothing that raises our vibration more than gratitude. Focusing on consciously adding more gratitude into your life will be one of the most transformative things you will do, and will positively impact all areas of your life.

3. Attitude of Greatness

One of the things about having a good attitude is that it’s a matter of choice – you have to choose to have a good attitude. Because of the need to survive experienced by our ancestors, our minds naturally have a bent towards the negative. It was a survival mechanism. And, although we don’t have to worry about a saber tooth tiger jumping out of a bush anymore, our brains are still wired that way. So we have to consciously choose to be positive.

Another thing that is a choice in life, and something that will positively impact your life, is becoming great at something. If you take a step back and look at the relationship between a positive attitude and becoming great at something, you’ll see that it’s a symbotic, two-way relationship. Becoming great at something will give you a boost in confidence, which will positively impact your attitude. Looking at it the other way, it typically takes having a positive attitude to want to become great at something.

One key thing to add here is that you need to make sure that you’re pursuing greatness at something that you actually enjoy and that fulfills you. Otherwise, you won’t get that two-way benefit we just discussed. I always did really well in school, but I didn’t enjoy it much, so I didn’t go into it with a great attitude. Luckily, I had a huge why for being successful in school, and that carried me through. But in order to avoid that, set yourself up for success by choosing to become great at something you enjoy.

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Think of any great athlete – they aren’t walking around with a bad attitude. They may have a chip on their shoulder, and be hyper competitive, but they tend to be positive people. And that positivity opens them up to possibility, which deepens their drive to be great. As they continue to pursue greatness, they become more confident, which partner fuels their beliefs about possibilities. And the cycle continues. So, if you’re struggling with a bad attitude, seek to become great at something and see if that doesn’t change.

Bottom Line

Your attitude is everything – don’t try to fight against that truth. Accept it, and allow it to guide you in consciously choosing the attitude you want to have on a daily basis. In particular, be sure to have attitudes of positivity, gratitude, and greatness. Doing that will allow you to live a great life.

Featured photo credit: sean hall via unsplash.com

More by this author

Justin Aldridge

Success Coach, Author, and Speaker helping people wake up to their potential to create lives better than their wildest dreams.

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Last Updated on April 27, 2021

How To Accept Responsibility For Your Life (7 No-Nonsense Tips)

How To Accept Responsibility For Your Life (7 No-Nonsense Tips)

Chances are that if you’re reading this, you are human. This means that there is likely a time or two when you have not taken responsibility for something in your life. We’ve all been there. Maybe you broke an item at a place of employment but didn’t fess up to it, or you missed a deadline and blamed the reason why on someone else, or perhaps you decided a responsibility was too great to face.

Accepting responsibility can be challenging because it doesn’t always feel good. It can require time we think we don’t have. Feelings of shame or inadequacy can surface. Rather than face those feelings, it’s much easier to not accept responsibility.

This is all understandable. But it may not be serving us and who we want to be in the long run.

Accepting responsibility has benefits at work, home, and all aspects of life. When we demonstrate to ourselves that we can be responsible, we show our strength of character, our leadership qualities, and even our adulting skills.

Knowing that doesn’t make accepting responsibility any easier, does it?

Using the example of pretending that you live in an apartment with multiple roommates where you all have to share the kitchen, we will look at seven tips on how to accept responsibility for your life.

1. Stop Playing the Victim

You’ve just cooked a big meal involving several pots, pans, and cooking utensils. You reflect on feeling overwhelmed and stressed by life right now and decide that you just don’t have the time or energy to do your dishes right now. The next time you or your roommates want to use the kitchen, there’s a big mess and a lack of options for pans and cutlery to use.

Maybe one of your roommates will do it for you? Superman to the rescue? I hate to break it to you, but Superman doesn’t actually exist.

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Why insist on crushing every childhood fantasy? Because when we wait for someone else to fix our problems, we are playing the victim, and if Superman doesn’t exist (or Spiderman or Wonder Woman, or Black Panther, etc.), then we will be perpetually tied to the proverbial train tracks, waiting for someone else to save us.[1]

What we can do in this situation is acknowledge and validate our feelings. In the above scenario, you’re focusing on feeling overwhelmed. This feeling isn’t “bad.” But it does affect your motivation to accept responsibility, keeping you in a victim mindset. It isn’t just the dishes that you need to face. You also need to take responsibility for your emotions.

Acknowledging and validating emotions help you to understand what you’re feeling and why. You can then redirect the energy you’re wasting on being a victim and redirect it toward more productive things in life. Like doing your own dishes.

There are many different ways we can develop the skill of self-acknowledgment and validation. One of the best is to write about what you’re experiencing. You may be surprised by how you describe the “what” and “why” of your feelings. You may even uncover other times in your life when you felt this way and find that your current thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are based on that past. You might even heal an old experience as you deal with the present circumstance!

2. End the Blame Game

“If my roommates were more consistent about doing their dishes, then I would feel like I could do mine.”

It’s so easy to come up with excuses and reasons why we shouldn’t be held to a higher standard than anyone else. We find interesting ways to blame others for why we can’t do something. This becomes another way to avoid taking responsibility, and we can do so out of a perspective of anger.[2]

Anger can be energetically compelling, but it’s not always rooted in reality. It can keep us stuck and prevent us from having the life and relationships we really want. Much like being the victim, it’s important to ask yourself how being and staying angry is serving you. Again, it’s important to acknowledge and validate these thoughts and feelings too.

Perhaps you’re really feeling mad at someone at your workplace who isn’t taking responsibility for their own projects. You end up taking on their work, allowing anger to build up. By the time you get home, you need a place to let that anger out. And so, your anger is directed toward your kitchen and your roommates.

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This may help you feel better for a little while, but it’s not sustainable. There are so many ways of dealing with anger. It would serve you and others around you well to learn how to manage and work with any anger you have in your life so that you can resume your acceptance of responsibility.

3. Forgive Yourself and others

After reading tips number 1 and 2, perhaps you are now adept at practicing acknowledging and validating your feelings. Because of that work, it’s easier to forgive yourself and others.

For instance, without the feelings of victimhood and blame, you have the energy to see things from a perspective of forgiveness and tolerance.

From a place of forgiveness, you see that even though your roommates don’t take care of their dishes right away every time, they do so more often than not. Plus, you can see that all of you have challenging things happening in your lives right now, so why should your challenges make it so that you can slack off? You may even remember times when your roommates have helped you out with cleaning the kitchen even though the mess wasn’t theirs.

As you forgive others, you forgive yourself too and take ownership of your own tasks.

4. Use Responsibility as a Way to Help Others

Shirking our responsibilities can actually affect others’ well-being. We can step into a space of considering how our actions, or lack thereof, might be burdening or harming others.

For example, not doing your dishes and leaving the kitchen dirty means that when another roommate wants to use the kitchen to make a meal, they may have to clean the kitchen first to have access to the pots, pans, and utensils required. They may feel annoyed that you didn’t take responsibility for your mess, which affects your relationship with your roommate. A confrontation may be on the horizon.

However, if you can put yourself in the frame of mind to consider things from your roommate’s position, you might think twice about leaving the dishes. By taking responsibility and doing your part to keep the kitchen clean, you are taking care of the space and your roommates.

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A lot of people find it easier and highly beneficial to do things out of a sense of responsibility for others.[3] Thinking about things from another’s perspective can be a motivating factor and can provide us with feelings of purpose.

5. Look for the Win-Win

When we choose not to take responsibility, we are choosing a zero-sum game, meaning nobody wins. What if you looked for the win-win opportunity of taking responsibility instead?

Maybe there have been times when your roommates have saddled you with a messy kitchen. If you now decide to leave your mess, nobody wins. Whereas, cleaning up after yourself now means that you are modeling how you want the space to be treated by everyone. You are also ensuring that your roommates can trust you to take responsibility for your cleaning tasks, and the next person who wants to use the kitchen will be able to do so.

In this scenario, you will be taking responsibility, cultivating a relationship of trust with your roommates, and making it so that nobody else has to clean up after you. Everyone wins.

6. Make Taking Responsibility Fun

Another vantage point from which we could look is the place of joy. Yes, joy.

It’s easy to paint “cleaning the kitchen” in a negative light when shows are streaming on Netflix and downtime activities calling. But what could happen for you if you made the task of doing the dishes fun?

How can it be fun? This is where you get to be creative.

Some ideas could be playing some of your favorite music as you clean, invite a roommate to chat while you clean, or you could play that show you’re binging on Netflix as you scrub. Have Airpods? Call a friend as you clean!

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Finding a way to make it fun helps you lose track of time and get the job done faster. It could also provide some necessary “play” time. We don’t play enough as adults. Get back to your childhood roots and find ways to incorporate play into your daily routine, and get the dishes done at the same time!

7. Choose Your Own Adventure

When we approach responsibility from our highest self, we can be at choice for how we want to accept it. This requires an awareness of what we intend to accomplish or learn in any life experience.

For instance, when faced with a responsibility, you could consider all the ways of looking at it (from a place of victimhood, blame, forgiveness, service to others, win-win, or fun) and decide which perspective would serve the highest good of all, yourself included.

When we can approach any life situation from the standpoint of having choices, doesn’t that feel better than feeling forced into a decision or action?

Conclusion

Knowing that you can make conscious choices at any time in your life hopefully helps you to feel freer and more energized for any life responsibility you choose to accept. These seven tips on how to accept responsibility will set you up for a good start.

More Tips on How To Be a Responsible Person

Featured photo credit: Marcos Paulo Prado via unsplash.com

Reference

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