Advertising

Published on February 1, 2021

Why Your Attitude Is Everything: 3 Attitudes You Need To Have

Advertising
Why Your Attitude Is Everything: 3 Attitudes You Need To Have

Attitude is everything – my dad used to say those words to me when I was being a sore loser after losing in a game or sports. As I got older and wiser, like most of us do, I started to realize that my dad was absolutely right about that fact. And, I also started to realize that that lesson applied to more than just sports or activities.

Having the right attitude is key in all areas of life. Keep reading to learn why that is, and a few key attitudes that are must haves if you want to live a life of joy, fulfillment, and success.

Why Your Attitude Is So Important

“Control the controlable” – that’s a statement that makes every control freak shutter with disdain. At its core, what it’s saying is that we need to focus our energy on controlling the things we can actually control in some way, shape, or form, and not fret about those things that are out of our control. And if we’re being completely honest, there aren’t many things that we can control in life. But, one of the few things that we can always control is our attitude. And it’s vitally important that we do so. The reason why is because your attitude influences your actions. And we all know that it’s our actions that determine our success.

As the saying goes, “your attitude determines your altitude.” Meaning that, the type of attitude you approach life with will significantly impact the level of success you will or will not have. Typically, when someone has a bad attitude, it negatively affects their action. These are the naysayers, doubters, and negative Nancies of the world. I don’t know many of those types of people who are out there just killing it. In fact, those tend to be the people who, because of their frustration from a lack of results and success in their own lives, troll and try to tear down those who are trying to create success in theirs.

Advertising

On the other hand, when you have a positive attitude and outlook, you’re much more likely to take action and get things done. And, not only that, having a positive attitude makes you much more likely to be supportive of others and helpful to them in whatever it is that they have going on. So, an added benefit of a positive attitude is that you’re able to foster better relationships. I don’t know of many millionaires or billionaires that walk around with bad attitudes. In fact, it’s usually quite the opposite. They tend to have great attitudes and outlooks in life, which has allowed them to create the success they’ve achieved.

Now that we know why your attitude is so important, let’s look at a few must-have attitudes that you need in your life.

3 Must Have Attitudes in Life

1. Attitude of Positivity

Let’s take a moment to view your attitude as a pyramid – something that is systematically built over time. At the base of the pyramid would be positivity. Positivity is the prerequisite for all of the other attitudes you need to have in order to, as the Lifehack mission says, “live your best life without sacrifice.”

Positivity has a direct relationship with possibilities. People who are negative tend to have a fixed mindset, and are closed off to all of the possibility that exists in life. Negativity and a victim mindset go hand in hand. Conversely, when someone has a positive outlook and attitude, they are much more likely to have a growth mindset and are open to the abundance that exists within the world.

Advertising

As I mentioned above, whether you have a positive attitude or not, will affect the action you take. When we take action and achieve a desired outcome, we further expand our mind to possibilities, which furthers our positivity. And you’ll see why, in just a moment, that having a positive attitude is necessary for you to be able to have the other two attitudes we’re going to discuss.

2. Attitude of Gratitude

In this social media society that we live in, where comparison is a common trap to fall into, it’s very easy for someone to have a negative attitude. Someone might feel angry that they didn’t get the “lucky breaks” that the people they follow online did. Or, they may start to feel like a victim, who’s powerless to control their own destiny and achieve the results they desire in life. And once someone gets to that point, that’s when action becomes seemingly impossible, and people give up on the pursuit of their goals, dreams, or aspirations.

This phenomena is prevalent in lower income or disadvantaged communities. Young people grow up not seeing any models of success in their immediate environment. They are also fed limiting stories, from those closest to them, about their inability to ever be able to create a great life for themselves. So, they grow up with a fixed mindset about their potential. And those limiting stories, which often create their reality, leave them feel jaded and like life isn’t fair. All of that coupled together puts them into a state of negativity, which solidifies their inability to create a better life for themselves.

If you’re not careful, comparison will rip your life apart. That’s why an attitude of gratitude is so important. It takes you out of focusing on what you don’t have (i.e. being stuck in comparison mode and a negative attitude), and helps you to focus on all that you do have.

Advertising

When we think about life from an energetic perspective, there’s nothing that raises our vibration more than gratitude. Focusing on consciously adding more gratitude into your life will be one of the most transformative things you will do, and will positively impact all areas of your life.

3. Attitude of Greatness

One of the things about having a good attitude is that it’s a matter of choice – you have to choose to have a good attitude. Because of the need to survive experienced by our ancestors, our minds naturally have a bent towards the negative. It was a survival mechanism. And, although we don’t have to worry about a saber tooth tiger jumping out of a bush anymore, our brains are still wired that way. So we have to consciously choose to be positive.

Another thing that is a choice in life, and something that will positively impact your life, is becoming great at something. If you take a step back and look at the relationship between a positive attitude and becoming great at something, you’ll see that it’s a symbotic, two-way relationship. Becoming great at something will give you a boost in confidence, which will positively impact your attitude. Looking at it the other way, it typically takes having a positive attitude to want to become great at something.

One key thing to add here is that you need to make sure that you’re pursuing greatness at something that you actually enjoy and that fulfills you. Otherwise, you won’t get that two-way benefit we just discussed. I always did really well in school, but I didn’t enjoy it much, so I didn’t go into it with a great attitude. Luckily, I had a huge why for being successful in school, and that carried me through. But in order to avoid that, set yourself up for success by choosing to become great at something you enjoy.

Advertising

Think of any great athlete – they aren’t walking around with a bad attitude. They may have a chip on their shoulder, and be hyper competitive, but they tend to be positive people. And that positivity opens them up to possibility, which deepens their drive to be great. As they continue to pursue greatness, they become more confident, which partner fuels their beliefs about possibilities. And the cycle continues. So, if you’re struggling with a bad attitude, seek to become great at something and see if that doesn’t change.

Bottom Line

Your attitude is everything – don’t try to fight against that truth. Accept it, and allow it to guide you in consciously choosing the attitude you want to have on a daily basis. In particular, be sure to have attitudes of positivity, gratitude, and greatness. Doing that will allow you to live a great life.

Featured photo credit: sean hall via unsplash.com

More by this author

Justin Aldridge

Success Coach, Author, and Speaker helping people wake up to their potential to create lives better than their wildest dreams.

4 Ways to Focus on Your Goals and Avoid Distractions Why Your Attitude Is Everything: 3 Attitudes You Need To Have How to Set Goals Effectively And Grow Continuously How to Find Motivation When Tough Times Won’t Seem to Pass How to Attract Like-Minded People to Inspire You

Trending in Success Mindset

1 How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome 2 What is Tenacity and How to Use It To Be Successful 3 7 Ways to Eliminate Your Excuses 4 How To Organize Your Day For Success 5 How to Work Hard the Smart Way: 4 Daily Rituals to Follow

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Published on October 14, 2021

How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome

Advertising
How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome

Do you ever worry about being exposed as a “fraud?” You’re not alone. It’s actually quite common for people to feel like imposters. In fact, approximately 70 percent of people admit to having experienced impostor syndrome[1] at some point in their lives — a Twitter poll found that 87 percent of people have experienced this.[2] Even successful and famous people like Tom Hanks, Howard Schultz, and Natalie Portman suffer from imposter syndrome.

But, what exactly is imposter syndrome. And, more importantly, how can you silence it?

Originally coined in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance, Ph.D., ABPP, and Suzanne Imes, Ph.D., the term “impostor syndrome” describes symptoms that include being unable to internalize accomplishments and being afraid of being exposed as a fraud.

The individual may also be plagued by chronic self-doubt and believe that they’re unqualified for success despite evidence to the contrary. Inadequacies, fears of failure, and disbelief that success is a matter of luck or timing are also common.

If you don’t address this phenomenon, feeling like an impostor can prevent you from achieving ambitious goals. Moreover, those experiencing these feelings tend to over-prepare or procrastinate — which obviously hinders productivity and reaching goals. And, as if that weren’t bad enough, imposter syndrome prevents you from pursuing new challenges and opportunities.

Do you feel like you’re suffering from impostor syndrome? If so, don’t beat yourself up. After all, there are effective ways to overcome these feelings in a healthy and proactive way.

1. Don’t Hide It.

“Firstly, acknowledge it,” advises Claudine Robson,[3] the Intentional Coach. “You give strength to imposter syndrome by letting it continue to peck away at your confidence unchecked.” It can only be banished if you acknowledge it as soon as possible and break the silence.

Advertising

“Then you need to separate your feelings from facts,” Robson adds. “One thing imposter syndrome does very effectively is to mix up your perceptions of reality.”

If you can, take a step back and look at the situation objectively. “Recognize when you should — and when you should not — feel fraudulent,” she says. Appreciate and acknowledge the task, intellect, and insight that have led to your success.

You might even be able to take action by recognizing that the reason you feel fraudulent is that you’re new to a task. “That gives you a path forward; learning is growth, don’t deny yourself that.”

2. Implement the STOP Technique

In her book Cognitive Enlightenment, Melinda Fouts, Ph.D., outlines a technique to overcome imposter syndrome using what she calls the STOP technique.

“STOP is an acronym for ‘silence the oppressive player,” Fouts explains in Forbes.[4] “You need to eradicate this tape that is playing 24/7, whether you are conscious of it or not. It plays loudest when we are tired, hungry, or feeling defeated.”

Steps to implementing the STOP technique and rewiring your brain are as follows:

To replace the tape of not good enough, you need a “launch sentence.” “I’m more than good enough” would is an example of a solid launch statement.

Advertising

Put your launch sentence in prominent locations, such as your car’s dashboard or computer. How come? The reason is that as the tape plays, you won’t be able to remember your launch statement.

Continue to say “stop” until you recall your launch sentence, says Fouts.

Put your launch sentence into your own words and pontificate.

While going about your daily tasks, like while driving or exercising, practice your launch sentence so you can recall it when you need it in the future.

“I am told this sounds simple and it does,” she adds. However, this technique is challenging when your negative tape is playing. You will not want to replace the tape every day while your brain is rewiring itself. “It is these moments you can’t give up.”

3. Distinguish Humility and Fear

When it comes to hard work and accomplishments, there’s humility, and then there’s fear. In other words, having a high level of competence can lead one to discount its value occasionally. However, as Carl Richards wrote in an article for the New York Times,[5] “After spending a lot of time fine-tuning our ability, isn’t it sort of the point for our skill to look and feel natural?”

The problem is that we feel unworthy from time to time. But, as Seth Godin explained in a blog post,[6] “When you feel unworthy, any kind response, positive feedback or reward feels like a trick, a scam, the luck of the draw.”

Advertising

Feeling worthy without feeling entitled is possible. And, finding the right balance between them is critical for overcoming impostor syndrome. “Humility and worthiness have nothing at all to do with defending our territory,” Godin continues. “We don’t have to feel like a fraud to also be gracious, open, or humble.”

4. Keep a “Brag Sheet”

When you were sending out college applications, did you build yourself a “brag sheet?” If not, here’s a clean description from Shawna Newman,[7] “A brag sheet is very similar to a student resume – it highlights your accomplishments, key experiences, leadership skills, and employment throughout your secondary education.” In short, “it’s a quick reference guide with all the details and achievements for someone trying to get to know you better.”

While it may be awkward at first, you can apply the same concept when coping with imposter syndrome. Just compose a list of your accomplishments, activities, skills. That’s it. Just remember Godin’s advice and also be humble and gracious.

As an added perk, besides being an effective way to talk myself up, I’ve also found that this has helped me stop comparing myself to others. Instead of harping about other people’s milestones, I’m honing in on what I’ve done.

5. Celebrate Wins, Period

Speaking of accomplishments, they shouldn’t be categorized as small or big. After all, you feel as if you don’t belong when you have imposter syndrome. So, the more you celebrate your wins, the more confident you’ll become.

Furthermore, accept compliments without qualifying them and practice listening to praise every day. Finally, become kinder to yourself by saying at least one kind thing to yourself daily. And, give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back.

6. Assemble a Legion of Superheroes

“You know how corporations have a board of directors to — in theory — make them stronger, maintain checks and balances, leverage resources, and help advance the organization’s vision?” asks inspirational speaker, speaking coach, and creative consultant Tania Katan.[8] “Why not assemble your own board of directors to leverage resources to help make your career stronger, keep you in check and balanced, and advance your vision?”

Advertising

“My friend Alison Wade, president of conferences, training, and consulting at Techwell, calls her personal board of directors her “front-row” — those are the people she invites to sit spitting distance from the stage, cheer her on, challenge her, and review her performance,” Katan writes.

As for Katan, she calls hers a “legion of superheroes.” The reason? “I dig the idea of joining forces to do good in the corporate galaxy.”

It’s important to have a diverse group of individuals who will defend you. Ideally, they should be varied in all dimensions, such as cultural background, way of thinking, and skills.

Katan recommends that you meet together frequently, whether if that’s once a week or every quarter. “Share your experiences, fears, creative ideas, aspirations,” she adds. “Celebrate each other’s accomplishments.” You also need to both support and challenge each other. “Discover what you are capable of doing when you combine your powers.”

7. Visualize Success

Follow the example of a professional athlete by imagining yourself crushing that presentation or project. You’ll enjoy the relief from performance-related stress. And, more importantly, it can help you avoid focusing on the worst-case scenario.

Final Words of Advice

While there’s no single formula to cure imposter syndrome, the tips listed above are a start. After all, your success depends on your ability to fight the negative effects of it. For example, feeling unworthy over time can lead to crippling anxiety and depression if left untreated.

If you’ve tried the above, then make sure that you speak to someone about what you’re experiencing, whether it’s a mentor, peer group, or licensed professional. And, above all else, there’s a place at the table for everyone — no matter what your inner voice is telling you.

Advertising

How to Silence the Impostor Syndrome was originally published on Calendar by John Rampton.

Featured photo credit: Laurenz Kleinheider via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next