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Last Updated on October 13, 2020

7 Simple but Sure Ways to Eliminate Bad Attitudes

7 Simple but Sure Ways to Eliminate Bad Attitudes

Attitude is life, and how you manage your attitudes matters. One proven way to eliminate bad attitudes is to adopt these seven proven strategies and to shift your paradigm the Bob Proctor Way.

Did you know that your perspective about life determines your outcomes in life? Bad attitudes are virtual guarantees that life will be burdensome and less satisfying than it ought to be.

If you are pessimistic about your relationships, business, career, health, and personal development, it will affect what you make out of every opportunity that comes your way.

What you need is to eliminate the bad attitudes that are destroying you.

What Is a Bad Attitude?

A bad attitude is a feeling, manner, or disposition that is not cooperative, optimistic or constructive. Have you ever wondered why people with bad attitudes are not usually happy?

People with bad attitudes are described as:[1]

“Aggressive, arrogant, belligerent, blunt, callous, critical, cynical, dishonest, distant, envious, guarded, hostile, indifferent, intolerant, pessimistic, prejudiced, prideful, resentful, rude, sad, selfish, suspicious, unemotional, untrusting.”

What Are the Effects of Bad Attitudes?

Now that we’ve gone through some words used to describe people with bad attitudes, we can look at the effects of this kind of outlook.

Bad attitudes can hinder you from developing the right perspective about life. They can also prevent you from maximizing those things that bring joy.

They can become the very limitation that blocks you from maturing and learning coping strategies for life’s challenges.They can limit you from attempting new things that may be exciting.

People with bad attitudes may end up lonely, depressed, and stressed.

What Are the Causes of Bad Attitudes?

People with bad attitudes usually experience situations and people in unpleasant manners.

While some studies indicate that a bad attitude is a component of temperament, some therapists affirm there’s a learned aspect that is reinforced by your habits.

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A child who is highly sensitive to physical, as well as emotional discomfort, for example, may tend to develop bad attitudes.

But at the same time, your environment can shape your habits and train you to be more realistic about life.[2]

Not everyone is born to exhibit bad attitudes. They can be learned and can be taught by a parent.

For instance, any parent that exhibits a bad attitude is by default modeling this perspective or habit in their children. This makes the children learn pessimism by modeling their parents.

Bad attitudes can also stem from life experiences — a history of failure, abuse, or trauma, despite your input.

How Do You Eliminate Bad Attitudes?

1. Remove Negativity in Your Life

You need to be responsible for what you do. Take control of your life as you internally engineer those negative circumstances.

Eliminate every condescending thought and establish an atmosphere of positivity by taking responsibility for your actions.

For instance, if you are not getting 5-star feedback on a project, it’s not because the client does not like you. It may be related to your performance on the job.

You can communicate with him or her on how you can optimize your quality instead of blaming him or her. That way, you will be making positive changes.

Negative thoughts produce negative actions. If you want to exhibit a good attitude, you will need to cultivate good habits.

2. List the Bad Attitudes and Make Every Effort to Change Them

There’s a secret behind listing the attitudes that hold you back from taking charge of your life. Don’t just write a list; burn it to symbolize that you’re letting the bad attitudes go.

On a piece of paper, highlight any habit or attitude that you consider bad. Read the list and check off those things you can change.

For instance, you can disconnect yourself from abusive relationships, or you can save money to resolve a financial issue.

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As soon as you have thought of how to change that habit from bad to good, burn the list and write down the new things you want to experience in your life.

You need to let go of the old for the new to come!

3. Let Go of Expectations

A bad attitude typically begins with an expectation of yourself or others. You want to please yourself or others, so you establish unrealistic expectations.

When you fail to meet an unrealistic expectation, it will create a bad attitude and a negative environment.

You need to accept that there’s no perfect condition. Imperfection is a component that makes life beautiful and helps us to form a good character.

When you fail, move on and imagine what it will be like to succeed. Also, if someone says you are not good enough, understand that nothing is wrong with you. Overlook it and let it go.

When you linger on a negative thought, it will only produce bad attitudes. Practice mindfulness and meditation to free your mind of things you cannot control and do not hold on to bad experiences. Meditation can help you eliminate any bad attitude.

4. Forgive

You need to forgive not only yourself but others. Sometimes, you may complain about how your imperfections and bad attitudes have wrecked your dream of becoming exceptional in life.

Languishing in this thought and holding grudges will also empower a bad attitude. The ability to forgive will help you focus on the positive things around you.

Forgiveness is the enemy of bad attitudes. It creates room for good attitudes. Not only that, it will minimize stress and increase your joy, peace, and prosperity in life.

5. Avoid Negative People

You cannot exhibit good attitudes by having negative people around you.

Have you noticed that great individuals don’t keep company with those who would hold them back or bring them down? For example, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Warren Buffet, Ben Carson, Richard Brandson, and others? I have!

The people you share your time with have a major impact on your attitudes. If you want to eliminate bad attitudes, you will need to start by eliminating negative people from your sphere of influence.

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If it’s difficult to remove an individual to avoid hurting the person, you can limit exposing yourself to that person.

You can also nullify his or her bad attitudes by highlighting and emphasizing the positive in what he or she says or does. This approach will prevent you from being dragged down a negative path.

6. Respond to Change

Negative emotions usually go hand in hand with change. The best way to manage change is to respond.

While you don’t have the power to control every situation or person, you can choose to respond to them, and not react.

For instance, when someone drops a nasty comment on your social media post, don’t react to that comment immediately. Come up with a response, then wait for 24 hours before responding.

In that time, you will possibly decide to tone down your response. That way, you can deescalate any tension.

If your employer retrenches you, or you have a project terminated, thank your boss for that opportunity and say, “Working with you has made me a better person. This is a chance to discover something that I am passionate about.”

7. Help Others

Life becomes meaningful when you make an impact on the lives of others.

Helping others can help you change some bad attitudes and give you a new paradigm for life.

You will become more positive when you see the results that come from you reaching out to solve the problems of others.

For example, you can volunteer in a local school or library or help friends and family members over the weekend. When you help others, they feel good, which in turn makes you feel good.

A life that is built on giving love and support will manifest a good attitude.

Bonus: Shift Your Paradigm the Bob Proctor Way

According to Bob Proctor, the Chairman and Co-Founder of the Proctor Gallagher Institute:

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“Paradigm is a collection of habits that are locked up in your subconscious mind.”

To change your paradigm, you need to follow the same pattern in which it was created – via repetition of information.

Also, you need to realize that before you can shift your paradigm, you will have to consciously and deliberately substitute bad attitudes with good attitudes.

Bob recommends that you begin the process by selecting some new beliefs that align with the new attitude or good habits you want to form.

Replace the old habits and belief system in your subconscious mind with these new ones.

You can actualize this through positive affirmation. You can use positive words to mirror the new attitude you want to form and read the statement aloud.

For example:

“I am so excited and grateful that opportunities abound in my life via multiple streams of income continually. I know how to make, manage, and multiply money.”

Another strategy he recommends is to create a mental picture of you exhibiting those good attitudes. He calls it “visioneering.”

Practice this technique daily and consistently, and you can eliminate any bad attitude once and for all.[3]

Conclusion

Only those who work on their habits can develop good attitudes that become significant in their lives.

The impact of a bad attitude affects not just you, but others. But with these proven strategies on how to eliminate bad attitudes, you can become a better person and a force of reckoning in your sphere of influence.

More Ways to Achieve a Positive Attitude

Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Your Dictionary: Words That Describe Negative Attitudes
[2] Exploring Your Mind: 5 Tips for Dealing with Highly Temperamental People
[3] Paradigm Shift: An in Depth Explanation

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Leon Ho

Founder & CEO of Lifehack

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Last Updated on October 20, 2020

How to Change Your Self-Perception and Untap Your Hidden Potential

How to Change Your Self-Perception and Untap Your Hidden Potential

If your current self-perception is not serving you in ways that allow you to be your best self and achieve the goals you’re aiming for, it’s time to transform it into a force for good using personality and social psychology.

Those harsh evaluations from your inner critic speaking sourly of unworthiness have had enough airplay. You no longer want to allow features of imposter syndrome to immobilize you nor deflate any balloon of excitement and hope you had toward achieving your goals.

Your self-perception is about the relationship you have with yourself. The great news is that because you hold this self-perception, you are the best and most powerful agent capable of transforming it.

Here are 7 tips on how to change your self-perception and unleash your potential.

1. Learn to Detach From Others’ Projections

Simply cutting ties with anyone who drops negative criticism that leaves you feeling you are a lesser human being would lead to an incredibly lonely existence. What can better serve you is recognizing when someone might actually be projecting their self-image upon you.

Projections are often an unconscious way we defend ourselves to feel better emotionally and mentally about those aspects of ourselves we consider to be flawed[1]. We attribute the things we don’t like about ourselves to someone else because the pain and discomfort of confessing our own inadequacies are just too great.

Think of the friend at dinner who dominates the conversation and commonly speaks over others yet tells you you’re rude when you interrupt them. Think of the associate who claims to be a perfectionist and always struggles to meet deadlines but says your work will never be as good because you prioritize meeting targets over doing better quality work.

When you are on the receiving end of sharp, unsavory criticism, there’s a high chance that another person may be projecting. They are unwittingly showing you how they see the world.

However, this does not mean their assertions are true or valid. If anything, it’s simply a matter of opinion.

2. Recognize How Others Have Shaped Your Self-Perception

During her earlier research, Carol Dweck discovered children’s motivation and performance was highly influenced by how parents and authority figures encouraged them.

Her research offers guidance that could also influence a child’s esteem, self-efficacy, and self-perception as they grow through adolescence and into adulthood[2].

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  • Teach children how their effort can influence outcomes and their performance as opposed to labeling them according to the results they might achieve (i.e. a good artist, a genius, gifted).
  • As opposed to telling children they were good or bad, loved or not loved depending upon their behavior and results of performance, praise their efforts despite the results.
  • Make space for children’s positive and negative emotions as opposed to only being loving, affectionate, and supportive when they are well-behaved or performing to a certain level.

Dweck’s research has shone a light on likely sources of many imprisoning self-perceptions we develop as adults. As adults, we can see how and why we came to think about ourselves in the ways we do[3].

Change your self-perception with a growth mindset.

    Now, this is not a green light to unleash all blame on your parents and teachers but rather to recognize that you might be carrying the full weight of unhelpful self-perceptions you aren’t fully accounted for. You can also recognize and choose to do something about those self-perceptions that don’t benefit you.

    Ask yourself:

    “Does how I see myself make me feel better or worse about myself?”

    “Does how I see myself create obstacles between where I am, what I am feeling, where I want to be, and how I want to feel?”

    Continue to practice your awareness of how you see yourself in the present, consider how this impacts you, and start exploring how to put yourself in the greatest position of power to change this.

    3. Learn How Even Negative Self-Perceptions Serve a Purpose

    World-renowned psychotherapist Richard Schwartz coined an incredible therapeutic framework called Internal Family Systems through hearing how clients would talk about inner “parts” of themselves[4].

    Similar to how different members of our families have different roles by birthright, different personality traits, and characteristics, Schwartz proposes that we all have an internal system consisting of sub-personas or “parts” within our psyche that help form our self-perception.

    Have you ever thought that you should decide one way but another voice inside you said to do the opposite? If so, this framework can help you not only tame the unhelpful voices and self-perceptions but also discover others that can help you untap your hidden potential.

    Schwartz coined three main types of sub-personas:

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    • Exiles are those who often hold the emotional pain from abandonment, rejection, being exploited, and negatively judged by other individuals or other parts within our internal system.
    • Managers are those who are directive and controlling to avoid situations and interactions which might further hurt the exile part/s. These parts of us are often highly intellectual and good at problem-solving but push emotions away.
    • Firefighters are those parts of us that spring into action in emergencies when we’re caught off guard. When the exile parts of us have been triggered, these firefighting parts can jump into soothing and placate their emotional expression. Emotional eating or splurging our savings on clothes to make ourselves feel better are examples of ways we look to put out the emotional fire that is blazing.

    Regardless of the different characteristics of these parts we have within us, they all serve a primary purpose but in different ways: to protect us and keep us safe.

    When we learn to see how and why they do this, we dissolve our need to fight our self-perceptions.

    We no longer have to fight against the negative voices in our heads. We can now guide and use them to our advantage to help us get to where we now want to go.

    4. Reframe Your Language to Practice Healthy Detachment

    You don’t need to undergo intensive therapy to benefit from some simple language reframing techniques. When you change a few words in your self-labeling narrative, you can drastically change the impact that narrative can have on you.

    When you look at the following four sentences, you have a sense of which one feels the most self-deprecating and which one feels the least:

    • “No one loves me. I’m simply not attractive.”
    • “Right now, I feel that no one loves me. At the moment, I don’t feel attractive.”

    Which statement feels the heaviest? Did you notice the changes in the sentences?

    Self-perceptions we make tend to be purely black and white. We also tend to inaccurately and blanketly apply them to cover all contexts and situations, particularly when our emotions are the most intense.

    Reframing your self-narrative is easier than trying to eliminate it in one fell swoop. Recognize that your self-perception is but a reflection of transient feelings you are feeling at particular moments in time, and you’ll become better at preserving your self-worth.

    5. Forget Positive Affirmations and Practice Truthful Self-Perceptions

    As a coach and a consultant, I have often had clients come to me wanting to instantly silence any negative self-talk they express toward themselves. It is true our subconscious develops healthier inner dialogue over time with the regular and frequent practice of feeding it better mental nutrition. However, no amount of positive self-talk can transform negative self-perceptions if we don’t believe they could be true.

    If you have a poor body image, you can tell yourself until you’re blue in the face that you have nothing to be concerned about when you look in the mirror. You’re still going to be free from the mental and emotional shackles that such self-perception holds.

    You’ll be pleased to know the answer isn’t in endless journaling or writing out positive affirmations hundreds of times a day. There’s a faster and more effective way!

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    Develop phrases which you actually believe that guide you to look in the direction of how you want to see yourself:

    I’m working towards improving how I see and/or feel about myself.”

    “I’m learning and practicing how to adjust this aspect of myself so it better serves me.”

    Notice how there is no mention of looking to improve or delete an aspect of your personality in either of these statements?

    Your subconscious will be more on board with you using the phraseology above because you’re emotionally more receptive to it. It feels safe, honest, and true.

    Practice more language and phrases like these above and you will grow incredible self-perception that will take you beyond what you originally felt you were worthy of aiming for.

    6. Combine a Growth Mindset and Imagery to Untap Your Potential

    The use of imagery is an incredibly powerful mental tool to help you develop more helpful self-perceptions that will serve you in moving toward your initial goals. Combine this with simple growth mindset questions, and you’ll be well on your way to unleashing your potential.

    Using an example, let’s say you don’t feel you don’t have what it takes to apply for a certain job.

    The first part of the exercise is to playfully develop the growth and expansive mindset questions and entertain the answers to them:

    1. What if I did have enough skill, expertise, knowledge, and confidence?
    2. How would I approach applying for the job?
    3. How would I be feeling as I applied for the job?
    4. How would I feel upon submitting my application or getting an interview?

    The second part now is to bring those potential answers to life. Breathe life into a mini-movie scene of these possibilities you create in your imagination. Imagine the environment you surround yourself in as you prepare your job application.

    When you engage your five physical senses during imagery, you can ignite physical and emotional responses that signal to your brain what you are focusing on is important. The more you practice the imagery in which you paint a healthier and helpful self-perception, the more your reticular activating system[5] will look for opportunities for this to come to fruition in reality.

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    You can learn more visualization techniques in this article.

    7. Deliberately Practice Healthier Self-Perceptions

    Our hidden potential remains untapped when we aren’t moving toward clearly defined goals.

    From recognizing our unhelpful self-perception, we can start to shape those which aren’t just healthier for us but also strategically helpful for us in moving toward what we want to experience, do, and have.

    When you next look at a particular goal, ask yourself the following questions:

    1. What qualities do I already have that could and would help to meet that goal?
    2. What do I already know that could help me meet this goal?
    3. How can I position myself to gain the skills and knowledge that would help me achieve this goal?
    4. What choice/s along the way would give me opportunities to experience satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment in ways that matter to me?
    5. Even if I don’t meet this goal, will I still feel good about myself throughout the efforts I make to do so?

    These questions are not only strengths-based. They also guide you to make choices and create opportunities that help you feel higher and healthier levels of fulfillment.

    Meeting the goal may or may not happen. Regardless, your self-perception is sure to undergo powerful, positive transformations on many levels.

    Final Thoughts

    These 7 tips will help you realize your potential and change your self-perception positively.

    Through learning how to practice acceptance and compassion toward yourself and how to have a better relationship with yourself, you can develop self-concepts that help you untap your hidden potential.

    You’ll be radiating a healthy glow that’s almost palpable with a powerful sense of self that will take you wherever you want to go!

    More Tips on Improving Your Self-Perception

    Featured photo credit: Vince Fleming via unsplash.com

    Reference

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