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Published on February 28, 2020

7 Simple but Sure Ways to Eliminate Bad Attitudes

7 Simple but Sure Ways to Eliminate Bad Attitudes

Attitude is life, and how you manage your attitudes matters. One proven way to eliminate bad attitudes is to adopt these seven proven strategies and to shift your paradigm the Bob Proctor Way.

Did you know that your perspective about life determines your outcomes in life? Bad attitudes are virtual guarantees that life will be burdensome and less satisfying than it ought to be.

If you are pessimistic about your relationships, business, career, health, and personal development, it will affect what you make out of every opportunity that comes your way.

What you need is to eliminate the bad attitudes that are destroying you.

What Is a Bad Attitude?

A bad attitude is a feeling, manner, or disposition that is not cooperative, optimistic or constructive. Have you ever wondered why people with bad attitudes are not usually happy?

People with bad attitudes are described as:[1]

“Aggressive, arrogant, belligerent, blunt, callous, critical, cynical, dishonest, distant, envious, guarded, hostile, indifferent, intolerant, pessimistic, prejudiced, prideful, resentful, rude, sad, selfish, suspicious, unemotional, untrusting.”

What Are the Effects of Bad Attitudes?

Now that we’ve gone through some words used to describe people with bad attitudes, we can look at the effects of this kind of outlook.

Bad attitudes can hinder you from developing the right perspective about life. They can also prevent you from maximizing those things that bring joy.

They can become the very limitation that blocks you from maturing and learning coping strategies for life’s challenges.They can limit you from attempting new things that may be exciting.

People with bad attitudes may end up lonely, depressed, and stressed.

What Are the Causes of Bad Attitudes?

People with bad attitudes usually experience situations and people in unpleasant manners.

While some studies indicate that a bad attitude is a component of temperament, some therapists affirm there’s a learned aspect that is reinforced by your habits.

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A child who is highly sensitive to physical, as well as emotional discomfort, for example, may tend to develop bad attitudes.

But at the same time, your environment can shape your habits and train you to be more realistic about life.[2]

Not everyone is born to exhibit bad attitudes. They can be learned and can be taught by a parent.

For instance, any parent that exhibits a bad attitude is by default modeling this perspective or habit in their children. This makes the children learn pessimism by modeling their parents.

Bad attitudes can also stem from life experiences — a history of failure, abuse, or trauma, despite your input.

How Do You Eliminate Bad Attitudes?

1. Remove Negativity in Your Life

You need to be responsible for what you do. Take control of your life as you internally engineer those negative circumstances.

Eliminate every condescending thought and establish an atmosphere of positivity by taking responsibility for your actions.

For instance, if you are not getting 5-star feedback on a project, it’s not because the client does not like you. It may be related to your performance on the job.

You can communicate with him or her on how you can optimize your quality instead of blaming him or her. That way, you will be making positive changes.

Negative thoughts produce negative actions. If you want to exhibit a good attitude, you will need to cultivate good habits.

2. List the Bad Attitudes and Make Every Effort to Change Them

There’s a secret behind listing the attitudes that hold you back from taking charge of your life. Don’t just write a list; burn it to symbolize that you’re letting the bad attitudes go.

On a piece of paper, highlight any habit or attitude that you consider bad. Read the list and check off those things you can change.

For instance, you can disconnect yourself from abusive relationships, or you can save money to resolve a financial issue.

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As soon as you have thought of how to change that habit from bad to good, burn the list and write down the new things you want to experience in your life.

You need to let go of the old for the new to come!

3. Let Go of Expectations

A bad attitude typically begins with an expectation of yourself or others. You want to please yourself or others, so you establish unrealistic expectations.

When you fail to meet an unrealistic expectation, it will create a bad attitude and a negative environment.

You need to accept that there’s no perfect condition. Imperfection is a component that makes life beautiful and helps us to form a good character.

When you fail, move on and imagine what it will be like to succeed. Also, if someone says you are not good enough, understand that nothing is wrong with you. Overlook it and let it go.

When you linger on a negative thought, it will only produce bad attitudes. Practice mindfulness and meditation to free your mind of things you cannot control and do not hold on to bad experiences. Meditation can help you eliminate any bad attitude.

4. Forgive

You need to forgive not only yourself but others. Sometimes, you may complain about how your imperfections and bad attitudes have wrecked your dream of becoming exceptional in life.

Languishing in this thought and holding grudges will also empower a bad attitude. The ability to forgive will help you focus on the positive things around you.

Forgiveness is the enemy of bad attitudes. It creates room for good attitudes. Not only that, it will minimize stress and increase your joy, peace, and prosperity in life.

5. Avoid Negative People

You cannot exhibit good attitudes by having negative people around you.

Have you noticed that great individuals don’t keep company with those who would hold them back or bring them down? For example, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Warren Buffet, Ben Carson, Richard Brandson, and others? I have!

The people you share your time with have a major impact on your attitudes. If you want to eliminate bad attitudes, you will need to start by eliminating negative people from your sphere of influence.

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If it’s difficult to remove an individual to avoid hurting the person, you can limit exposing yourself to that person.

You can also nullify his or her bad attitudes by highlighting and emphasizing the positive in what he or she says or does. This approach will prevent you from being dragged down a negative path.

6. Respond to Change

Negative emotions usually go hand in hand with change. The best way to manage change is to respond.

While you don’t have the power to control every situation or person, you can choose to respond to them, and not react.

For instance, when someone drops a nasty comment on your social media post, don’t react to that comment immediately. Come up with a response, then wait for 24 hours before responding.

In that time, you will possibly decide to tone down your response. That way, you can deescalate any tension.

If your employer retrenches you, or you have a project terminated, thank your boss for that opportunity and say, “Working with you has made me a better person. This is a chance to discover something that I am passionate about.”

7. Help Others

Life becomes meaningful when you make an impact on the lives of others.

Helping others can help you change some bad attitudes and give you a new paradigm for life.

You will become more positive when you see the results that come from you reaching out to solve the problems of others.

For example, you can volunteer in a local school or library or help friends and family members over the weekend. When you help others, they feel good, which in turn makes you feel good.

A life that is built on giving love and support will manifest a good attitude.

Bonus: Shift Your Paradigm the Bob Proctor Way

According to Bob Proctor, the Chairman and Co-Founder of the Proctor Gallagher Institute:

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“Paradigm is a collection of habits that are locked up in your subconscious mind.”

To change your paradigm, you need to follow the same pattern in which it was created – via repetition of information.

Also, you need to realize that before you can shift your paradigm, you will have to consciously and deliberately substitute bad attitudes with good attitudes.

Bob recommends that you begin the process by selecting some new beliefs that align with the new attitude or good habits you want to form.

Replace the old habits and belief system in your subconscious mind with these new ones.

You can actualize this through positive affirmation. You can use positive words to mirror the new attitude you want to form and read the statement aloud.

For example:

“I am so excited and grateful that opportunities abound in my life via multiple streams of income continually. I know how to make, manage, and multiply money.”

Another strategy he recommends is to create a mental picture of you exhibiting those good attitudes. He calls it “visioneering.”

Practice this technique daily and consistently, and you can eliminate any bad attitude once and for all.[3]

Conclusion

Only those who work on their habits can develop good attitudes that become significant in their lives.

The impact of a bad attitude affects not just you, but others. But with these proven strategies on how to eliminate bad attitudes, you can become a better person and a force of reckoning in your sphere of influence.

More Ways to Achieve a Positive Attitude

Featured photo credit: Allie Smith via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Your Dictionary: Words That Describe Negative Attitudes
[2] Exploring Your Mind: 5 Tips for Dealing with Highly Temperamental People
[3] Paradigm Shift: An in Depth Explanation

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Leon Ho

Founder & CEO of Lifehack

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Last Updated on May 28, 2020

How to Survive a Quarter Life Crisis (The Complete Guide)

How to Survive a Quarter Life Crisis (The Complete Guide)

Is there such a thing as a quarter life crisis and could it be the cause of you experiencing a lack of happiness and fulfilment in your life or career right now?

According to popular psychology, a quarter life crisis is a crisis “involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one’s life” which is most commonly experienced in a period ranging from a person’s twenties up to their mid-thirties.[1] It tends to occur after we have finished our schooling and study, when we have settled into everyday life, often at major points or life changing events when we feel we are at a crossroads. We know something must change but we don’t know what or how to begin. It can feel confusing and lonely.

The good news is this is quite a normal experience. With some insight and small steps, you can gain clarity and direction on a way forward.

Firstly, it’s important to realize you are not alone. LinkedIn surveyed thousands of 25 to 33 years olds; the data showed that 75% had experienced a quarter life crisis with the average age being 27.[2]

Our twenties and thirties are nothing like they used to be. There are so many pressures now for people in this age group including having a well-qualified career, a secure relationship and possibly a family. The prospect of owning a home of your own becomes important, yet each year seems to be getting further out of reach, putting further pressure on your income earning capacity and career choice.

Personally, I have experienced both a quarter life crisis and a mid life one and there are similarities between both. Change was instigated for me both times by a difficult life-changing event, because I didn’t understand what I was experiencing or how to change it. Hindsight is a great thing and I sometimes wish I’d had the insights back then that I have now.

When you become aware of what you are experiencing and acknowledge your feelings as perfectly normal, change and transformation flows with more ease as you begin to take the steps to find new direction, happiness and fulfilment.

Here you will find what I consider to be the complete guide. It contains the essential steps I have identified to get clear on your way forward and move through this period of your life with more certainty.

1. Stop Comparing Your Own Quarter Life Crisis to Your Friend’s

Comparing yourself with your friends and peers, noticing their life choices and achievements can lead you to feel inferior and this increases those feelings of pressure and anxiety. You only have to jump online for five minutes and scroll through your newsfeed to see images of couples with children, career and life announcements and they all seem much more satisfied than you.

The truth is that often what you see is not real and they could be experiencing their own crisis too behind the facade. This means you could be comparing yourself with something that doesn’t even exist. What is the point in that?

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If you want to make this easier for yourself, stop accessing social media platforms. You can remove apps from your phone so you have to physically log in. If you need to access certain platforms for work or business, stay away from your newsfeed, even unfollow connections until you have worked through this period of your life.

When you stop comparing, you will notice that the pressure decreases and you will feel more comfort in your current situation. This allows change to unfold at its own pace.

2. Let Go of All the Should’s

If you hear yourself say, “I should be” or “I have to”, you are attempting to live your life by other people’s standards. And now you are aware of this, you will be amazed at how often you use this language.

The thing is, trying to live to others’ standards will never bring you true happiness or fulfilment. Even the use of this language brings a feeling of self-judgement and stress without even taking the actions associated with it. And over time, continually living this way, you will start to feel like your life isn’t your own; and you will lead yourself deeper into crisis as your self-esteem suffers.

If you hear yourself using this language, stop in your tracks. Explore where the thought actually came from and who said you should be doing things that way. Let go of the need to judge yourself according to someone else’s standards and start to think about what you really want instead.

When you let go of all the “I should’s” and start to replace them with your “I wants,” you will notice the feeling of lightness as your self-esteems rises again.

3. Get Clear on What Is Important to You

As you begin to let go of what you thought should be important, you create space to get clear on what is important to you.

Most of the time, like the majority of people, you are living your life unconsciously and unaware of what is really important to you. This means you will find it difficult to make choices that will light you up from the inside.

Dr John Demartini, a long time educator and international expert in human behavior states in his book The Values Factor, that true motivation is inspiration and is present when we are fulfilling our values. And, when we are living according to our truest and most important values is when we are our most fulfilled.

This means it’s important to get ultra clear on your most important values. You can do this simply by looking at what you put most of your time and energy into currently, and the moments in your life when you have felt your most fulfilled. Those moments may have been at any point in your life and may even mean going right back to memories of childhood.

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As you get clearer on what is important to you, you will gain even more clarity on what you truly want for you.

4. Change Your Environment

Feeling stuck can often be exacerbated when we stay in the same place, because our environment can have a huge impact on our state of mind. And, when you are in a stuck state of mind, it can be difficult to see past what you have in your life right now.

This doesn’t mean you need to sell all your belongings and go to live in an ashram for a year, although this may be the thing that feels right for you, and if it is that is okay.

You can gain the same benefits by going on a holiday, going away for a long weekend or even just going for a few day trips into nature, the forest or the beach where you can feel a real connection with self.

When you change your environment, you can change your state and your mindset. You shift yourself out of focusing on feeling dissatisfied with your life right now and shift yourself into thinking about how your life could be.

5. Enter the Dream Room and Ask Yourself “What If?”

There have been many great stories created in The Dream Room.

Walt Disney has been named one of the most remarkably creative, and as you may know one of the most successful individuals of the 20th century. The methods he used for all his creations are still being used today. Each of his creations began in the place called The Dream Room, the place where anything is possible; where there is nothing too absurd, there are no limits and no judgement. This was a place for brainstorming or dream storming as it was called.[3]

I always like to call it the “What if” room, which is a place where you ask yourself the “What if?” questions. This is the place where you can create your own outrageous wish list of what you really want. It doesn’t have to be a physical room; it’s a room you go to in your mind’s eye. This dream space is expansive and the expansion can be increased when you also change your physical environment by going to a place outdoors where you can see the horizon.

Find your space, arm yourself with a journal and pen, and ask yourself these questions:

  • What if anything were possible, what would I do and what would I create for my life?
  • What if life was exactly as I wanted it to be, what would that look like and how would I feel experiencing that?
  • What if I were without fear, what would I aim for?
  • What if I couldn’t possibly fail, how can I see myself doing this?

Dream as you did when you were a child, when you knew without a doubt that anything is possible.

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When you embrace this and allow yourself to dream, you will begin to create the most exciting picture of your next chapter in life.

6. Be Patient and Let Go of Control

Human beings waste so much time trying to control how their lives evolve and if you attempt to rush this dream process, you will find it difficult to gain the clarity you are looking for.

Learn patience, remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day and you are creating your own private empire of what you want for you.

This means that your dream room vision may be created in one day, two weeks or even a year. However long it takes, make it okay for you.

Many of the answers you are searching for are locked in your unconscious mind, things you have forgotten over time while you have possibly been focusing on living the way you thought you should live.

As you start asking the right questions, your answers will begin to come little by little and, will often come when you least expect them.

Carry a small notebook with you or voice record on an app on your phone. Even keep a notebook by your bed for when you first wake up in the morning.

7. Ditch Your Perception of Life Always Being Perfect

Even if we create an exciting vision, we can often get in our own way by our fear of things not working out perfectly.

We see failure before we have even started and hesitate on something that powerfully lights us up on the inside because it’s not the perfect time. Before we know it, years have passed and we are still in the same place. This can cause an even bigger crisis in later years.

Life is always happening perfectly for us; the problem is our perception of perfection is imperfect.

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Over the years, we have made perfection mean everything it really doesn’t. As a society, we have chosen to see perfection as things always lining up perfectly, no mistakes, a flawlessness, always getting the right result and the outcomes we want.

Here’s the thing: the opposite of this is absolutely true.

Life happens perfectly for you all the time. This means all the mistakes you make, all the outcomes you don’t want and not getting things right first time, is absolutely perfect for you at the time. As you make these mistakes, the lessons and growth you receive are vital to you living the life you truly want in the long term.

If at any point, you feel your need for perfection is possibly holding you back, comfort yourself with knowing that whatever the outcome, it’s happening perfectly. You will be exactly where you are meant to be to enable you to eventually live the life of your dreams

8. Make a Stand for You

Often when we make a decision on our future, we can find those closest to us object to our plans, because they want what is best for us; they want us to be happy.

The thing is what they think will make us happy isn’t necessarily what will really make us happy, because their dreams and values are different to ours. This can often make us apprehensive and delay actioning our plans since we don’t want to disappoint them.

This brings to mind something an amazing mentor once said to me, he said, “dogs only bark at what they don’t understand”. To me, this means that if a dog barks, they are not quite sure what is happening and in that uncertainty, they sense danger.

Your loved ones are exactly the same. They don’t understand where you are heading because it’s possibly something they are not familiar with themselves. Or maybe it reminds them of past experiences of their own where things didn’t quite work out the way they wanted them to. They won’t be disappointed in you when you make a stand for what you want. They just love you and want to protect you.

Proudly make a stand for you and your dream. Reassure them that you love them and you will be okay with whatever happens, because life is always happening for you and you are grateful for their support in the life you are choosing.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, no one else’s life, desires or dreams can bring you happiness and fulfilment; only what is important to you and what you really want can do that.

By being patient and kind with yourself as you move through what can be your most exciting life-changing period, you will feel this crisis point end and find clarity on exactly what will light up your life.

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Featured photo credit: ZACHARY STAINES via unsplash.com

Reference

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