Advertising
Advertising

Published on August 20, 2019

How to Maintain Strong Interpersonal Relationships

How to Maintain Strong Interpersonal Relationships

One of the biggest keys to happiness is having strong interpersonal relationships. I believe that relationships are key to leading a fulfilling and contented life. Like anything worth having in life, they take some work to develop and perpetuate.

In this article, I will discuss how to maintain a strong interpersonal relationship.

Developing Interpersonal Relationships

In the spirit of clarity, it’s a good idea to take a quick look at the definition of interpersonal relationships. In short, an interpersonal relationship is a strong or close association or acquaintance between two or more people that can last from a brief time period to an ongoing one. This can extend from family to friends, to work associates, to neighbors, or clubs and on and on. It can be a relationship in any context or situation.

For instance, I’ve had strong short lived relationships with people I’ve worked with on a project as well as one for 50 years with my brother. My two best friends and I live in different cities but, we get together several times a year and have a great time. I have a mentor I worked with over a decade ago I still stay in touch with because we get along so well. All of these are examples of strong interpersonal relationships.

We will briefly touch on developing interpersonal relationships. Best way to approach it is to be a friend or a good partner as the situation warrants. For instance, if you are on a new team at work, ensure you are a good person to work with. Do your part and help others as needed. Be a contributor who is also willing to help out when needed. As a friend, you simply follow the age old piece of advice “to have a friend, you must first be a friend”.

If you are on a board or association, it should be something you are interested in helping out with. That want-to-help attitude will put you with like minded individuals who you’ll probably hit it off with. The main thing to remember is great interpersonal relationships can get formed any place or situation where you interact with other people. Put a little effort into getting along with others and you’d be amazed at how that pays off.

How to Maintain Powerful Interpersonal Relationships

Now, let’s get into the part of how to maintain strong interpersonal relationships. Once you’ve gotten a solid relationship started here’s some ways you can maintain it.

Advertising

1. Be Open

Any strong relationship needs to have the willingness to be open. This means the ability and desire to share what you’re thinking and your feelings about different subjects.

It really makes a lot of sense if you think about it. When you are open and willing to share, it shows the other person that you care about the relationship; that you are wanting to create a close connection by being truthful and receptive to the other person’s thoughts and feelings.

Think about some of the conversations you’ve had over the years. When you are speaking to someone who always seems to hold things close to the vest and shares very little information, it’s difficult to know what they are truly thinking or feeling. This creates a sense of distance from that person. On the other hand, when you interact with someone who is open with how they feel and interactive with you, it feels much closer. It feels like they care enough and are willing to share thoughts, ideas, and their feelings with you. This creates a much stronger bond.

2. Show Empathy

Here’s a saying you may have heard before:

“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. People will never forget how you made them feel.”

Pretty powerful stuff. One of the deepest human desires is to feel understood. When you show empathy towards someone else, you are showing that you care enough to understand how they feel. And that goes a really long way in maintaining strong relationships.

Remember to show empathy whenever the opportunity presents itself in your relationships. This helps all of us feel more supported, understood, and most importantly, connected.

Advertising

3. Be Respectful

It goes without saying that in order to help build and maintain strong relationships, you will need to be respectful — respectful of the other person’s time, opinion, feelings, and so on. This is vitally important in one on one relationships such as a marriage or close friendship.

The same really holds true in close relationships that involve a group type dynamic. If you are on a team at work, things will go so much better and the friendships will develop stronger if you are respectful to the others in the group. One of the biggest reasons, besides being the right thing to do, is you want others to be respectful to your time and opinions as well. It helps develop the sense of bonding and trust.

Work towards being respectful of others in general and certainly in tighter relationships.

4. Be Available

Giving your time is like giving a gift. Time is the one thing we all have the same amount of — same 24 hours in a day, same amount of days in a week, etc. How you choose to spend that time says a lot about you. And being available to someone shows that you value them enough to spend your time with them. That is absolutely huge.

Being giving of your time shows the other person that you care enough about them and the relationship to share your most valuable commodity. Being available to someone will do wonders for maintaining strong personal relationships.

One of my best male relationships goes back to my high school days. We were good friends then and decent friends during college. It was post college and into career time when we became really good friends. And that lasted for quite a while until we had families. And we did pretty good for a while after that. He’s always been great at staying in touch and getting together periodically. Somewhere in there, I wasn’t a very good friend and did not make equal effort of being available of my time. And it very nearly cost me one of my best friendships. I righted the ship and have made equal time and trips to his city to see him and his family. It’s really important to be available and give your time to support these types of connections.

5. Establish Boundaries

Boundaries are critical for healthy relationships. A boundary is a belief, or way of life, or conviction that you have. It involves your beliefs, values, and limits. It’s important to be clear to other people in your life, especially the strong interpersonal relationships, about what your boundaries are. It helps to create self-esteem and respect in the relationship. It’s basically showing others what you stand for and what you will and won’t allow in your life. A couple of quick examples for context are probably helpful here:

Advertising

In a marriage, one spouse makes it clear to their partner that financial responsibility is very important to them. Maybe they had to start working at an early age and were responsible for all of their own costs once they turned 18. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that they make it clear to their partner that it’s important to them. And the other partner is into gambling, and gambling so much that leads to financial irresponsibility. At some point, there’s going to be a hard conversation about the direction of the marriage.

In a work group, one of the members makes it clear that watching their son’s soccer games on Wednesdays at 6 is very important. He is willing to work late any other day of the week except Wednesdays. He has established a boundary. His team members and manager hear him and understand him, and ask him to stay late from time to time but not Wednesday’s. There is a healthy, well established boundary.

6. Be a Good Listener

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again any chance I get. Something most people tend to forget is that listening is half of all communication. And when we get really good at listening, it becomes more than half of our communication. That’s because being a good listener will do wonders for your strong relationships.

Showing that you are actively listening will help boost the other persons self esteem because it shows that you truly care about what they are saying; that makes them feel important. It shows that you seek to understand and that it’s important to you to know how the other person is feeling about something.

It’s like the silent form of flattery to the person you are interacting with. It makes them feel supported and probably most importantly, valued.

You can learn how to be a better listener in this guide: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

7. Okay to Disagree

It is so beneficial to strong interpersonal relationships to know that it’s okay to disagree. We are all different and have different feelings and opinions. Strong relationships actually thrive on some disagreement and conflict. The alternative is not speaking up when you disagree with something and stuffing it inside.

Advertising

And you know what happens if you stuff your feelings and opinions and feelings inside for a long time? Resentment. And smoldering resentment will eventually explode in a way that’s not good for anyone.

I have a strong relationship with both of my daughters. We also tend to disagree or outright argue a fair amount. And that’s fine. I tell both of them all the time that I don’t always like them but, I always love them. And they can say the same about me and that’s great. Having the ability to disagree with the other person fosters a much more open relationship where everyone feels comfortable sharing how they think and feel.

8. Be Appreciative

This one makes a lot of sense. Showing you are appreciative of another person in a good relationship only makes the relationship stronger.

We all like to feel appreciated and understood. When someone thanks you for something you did or said, it makes you feel good. You feel good because it’s nice to know that your efforts not only make someone feel better or supported but also that they noticed it. And this will certainly help to maintain your strong interpersonal relationships.

Final Thoughts

Never forget how important having strong and close relationships are to leading a happy and fulfilling life. It’s far too easy to get caught up our day to day actions of life and put relationships on the back burner.

We’ve looked at 8 great ways that will help you to maintain your strong interpersonal relationships. Take a look at these and see which ones might be helpful to you in your various partnerships. Use as needed to maintain one of the most important aspects of our lives.

More About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Ben Duchac via unsplash.com

More by this author

Mat Apodaca

On a mission to share about how communication in the workplace and personal relationships plays a large role in your happiness

10 Best Interview Questions (With Great Answer Examples) 7 Keys to Effective Listening How to Use the Law of Reciprocity for Effective Persuasion 7 Ways Self-Disclosure Helps You Connect Deeper with Others How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

Trending in Social Animal

1 How to Use the Law of Reciprocity for Effective Persuasion 2 What Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positive People? 3 How to Surround Yourself With Positive People 4 How to Create Social Goals to Make an Impact in the World 5 The Lifehack Show: Improving Social Skills with Dr. Daniel Wendler

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

Advertising

Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

Advertising

To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

Advertising

By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

Advertising

7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

More Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself

Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next