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Why Are You Stuck? 5 Questions to Shift Your Mindset And Get Unstuck

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Why Are You Stuck? 5 Questions to Shift Your Mindset And Get Unstuck

Most people struggle with mastering their mindset, they feel stuck in their lives, careers, and relationships. They struggle to find a way to move forward. They have big dreams, but they feel like something is holding them back.

If you feel this way, you are not alone.

Most people want to increase their productivity and profitability. They want to have better relationships and better lives. However, getting unstuck is about having a better mindset and tactics. Ignoring the mindset will not lead to durable change.

In this article, I will mention five questions that have the potential to help you master your mind, gain a better understanding of your emotions, manage your time better and help you get unstuck.

A positive mindset is the most powerful weapon in your quest for success. The road to success is hard,  it is full of obstacles, and adversity. If you doubt yourself, you won’t be able to attain the success that you deserve.

Mastering your mindset requires you to unleash your inner strength, avoid negative self-talk, and ask yourself the tough questions:

1. What Is Holding You Down?

“The hard choices—what we most fear doing, asking, saying—these are very often exactly what we most need to do.” — Tim Ferris

My inner voice held me down for a long time. It convinced me that I was not smart enough, strong enough or good enough to do what I was trying to do. I finally learned to silence my inner voice and go after my dreams.

If you feel stuck and your inner voice is holding you down. Ignore that voice.

Some people allow fears to keep them stuck in their situations. Fear has the ability to keep you stuck and control your mindset. Tim Ferris silence his fear by stating his fear out loud,

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“By becoming familiar with the worst case scenario, you begin to melt the fear holding you back.”

He designed an exercise called ‘fear-setting,”[1] Ferris learned when he faced his fear on paper, it was easier to defeat it in real life. He understood that fear was holding him down and preventing him from accomplishing his goals.

What is holding you down?

2. Whose Permission Are You Looking For?

“You Don’ t need permission to chase your dreams. Go execute.”  — Gary Vaynerchuk

You do not need anyone’s permission to be yourself and to share your gifts. Gary Vaynerchuk, a serial entrepreneur and New York Times Best Selling Author, wants to write a new book about giving yourself permission to do your thing.[2] He believes that the only permission you need to be yourself is your own permission. Give yourself permission to be great.

When you want something, go for it. Do not wait for others to approve your choices. If you want to quit your job, quit. You do not need your friend’s approval to do it.  If you want to improve your relationships with your kids, start today. You do not need your ex-wife permission to do it. If you want to lose weight, start eating healthy. Do not worry about what other people think of you.

As a little kid, I was fascinated by writing short stories, but I was too afraid of what other people would say about my writing. I was waiting to be picked, for someone to tap on my shoulder, and ask me to write. I was waiting for permission.

If you want to do something, stop asking for permission, and go make great things happen. When you succeed, your fans will show up, do not worry about them, start shipping your work.

3. What Ignites Your Fire?

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.” — Ferdinand Foch

If you want to get unstuck and grow, you need to start asking yourself, “What ignites my fire?”  Answering this question will get you closer to your goals, and it will help you master your mindset.

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Find out what ignites your fire. What makes you happy? What drives you?

Steve Jobs knew what ignited his fire, he was obsessed about design. His obsession started when he was a little child, he loved the idea of simple and elegant design. Anytime he faced with a problem and felt stuck, he asked himself, “What is my obsession?” The answer was always the same, simple design.[3]

Designing simple products is what ignited his fire. Find out what you are obsessed about, and you will find what ignites your fire.

If you want to get unstuck, adopt the finding the fire mindset, and ask yourself  “What ignites my fire?”

Feeding the fire will keep you focused, motivated and productive. Find and fuel the Fire.

4. What Commitments Are You Making?

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”  — Vince Lombardi

If your marriage is not as good as you like it to be, check your commitments. If your relationships with your kids, it is not where it should be, revisit your commitments. If you are not earning the money that you like to earn, recheck your commitments.

Your commitments are the bridge between you and your ideal life. Commitment is a mindset that is guaranteed to get your unstuck from any situation you find yourself in.

Being stuck is not about lack of knowledge, it is about lack of execution. If you want to execute your plans, adopt a commitment mindset.

Commitment mindset is about accountability and ownership. If you want better results in life, own your problems. If you want faster results, be accountable for your work. Commitment is the bridge between you and your goals.

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If you want to get unstuck, commit to doing the work. Ken Blanchard talks about the importance of commitment,

“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”

If you want to get unstuck and move your life forward, stop accepting excuses, and commit to doing the work.

5. What Change Are You Seeking?

“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.” — Abraham Maslow

If you want to master your mindset, you have to be clear about the change that you are seeking.

Are you trying to have a better work-life balance? Are you trying to launch your first business? Are you trying to regain your health? Are you trying to manage your emotion better? Are you trying to build a better relationship with your spouse?

What change are you seeking? Once you get clear on your goals, it is easier to get unstuck and shift your mindset. Be clear on your goals, and the change that you are seeking.

In 1954, Roger Bannister was 25 years old, a medical student at St. Mary Hospital in London. Bannister was vocal about running a mile in under 4 minutes. He devised a new training regimen, he started to run alone more frequently and with harder intervals. The British press called him a ‘lone wolf’ and suggested that he needed to change his regimen if he is serious about competing.[4]

He would spend hours envisioning himself crossing the finish line in under 4 minutes. He shifted his mindset  from “This is an impossible goal” to “I want to be the first to do this.”

At that time, it was considered a physical impossibility to do that, but he focused on psychological training more than his physical training. He started to master his mindset. Bell Taylor wrote in HBR that Bannister understood that he had to overcome a psychological barrier first and a physical barrier second.[5] On May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister ran a mile in under four minutes – 3:59.4 to be exact becoming the first human being ever to do so.

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Roger Bannister silenced his inner voice, gave himself the permission to be great, understood that running alone ignited his fire, made a promise to be the first human to break the 4-minute mile, and he was very clear about the change he was seeking.

Final Thoughts

If you are stuck, ask yourself the above five questions. Once you answer them, you will realize that you are more powerful and capable than you realize.

Stop letting fear, society and your inner voice slow you down. You have the power within yourself to follow your own dreams and achieve your goals.

It starts in your head, and your head can be a scary place to be. Don’t allow your negative mindset to take control of our own feeling. A little self-criticism is a good thing, it can be a reality check that recalibrate your actions. On the other hand, excessive self-criticism tends to prevent you from moving forward and cause you to identify with your shortcomings.

Instead of beating yourself up, and identifying yourself with your shortcoming, take a few deep breaths and reflect. Instead of saying I’m a failure, say I failed at this project. Do not say I’m a smoker, say I smoke. Focus on the action that you like to change instead of focusing on your feeling.

Start practicing positive talk, instead of saying I’m overweight, say I would like to lose 5 pounds and I know how to do it. Make the choice to be kind to yourself, and stop all negative self-talk.

Answering these five questions will unleash your inner strength, allow you to master your mindset, and get you unstuck from any undesired situation you find yourself in.

These answers will be your guide to master your mind, build better relationships, manage your time, conquer your crises, overcome daily obstacles and increase your productivity.

More Resources to Help You Get Unstuck

Featured photo credit: Luke Southern via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Luay Rahil

Luay Rahil is a speaker, and the Founder of Lead with Integrity.

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Last Updated on January 20, 2022

An Inspiring Interview with Steve White, President, Special Counsel to the CEO of Comcast

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An Inspiring Interview with Steve White,  President, Special Counsel to the CEO of Comcast

Do you let circumstances define who you are, or do you take charge of your life no matter how challenging it is?

I have the pleasure to interview Steve White, president, special counsel to the CEO of Comcast Cable. He works with executives on a number of important initiatives, including leadership development, strategic planning, diversity, equality, and inclusion (DE&I) and digital equality. As President of Comcast’s West Devision, he has led nearly thirty thousand employees, served almost ten million customers, and driven annual revenue nearly $18 billion.

steve white

    Steve started working as a young boy, helping his single mother clean motel rooms. He knew his mom was more capable than what she was doing, and he wondered what she and his three brothers could do if they had means and opportunities.

    Those early years taught Steve that an unwavering work ethic and commitment attracts opportunities that lead to an impactful life. His mother was living proof. If not for her determination to raise her four boys, Steve might never have gone through some of the life-changing moments.

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    Steve developed an uncompromising mindset since he was young and now still apply the same will to keep his purpose front and center. That purpose is to create a table of prosperity that everyone can participate and enjoy.

    Let’s dive right into our interview conversaion and learn about Steve’s inspiring story and winning philosophy:

    1. In a nutshell, what made you decide to transition professionally to writing, speaking and inspiring others?

    Steve:

    I was inspired by a quote that’s often attributed to Mark Twain. “The two most important days in your life are the day you’re born and the day you find out why.” Through hardship, I was able to answer the second question. The reason I was placed on this earth is to create a table of prosperity for others. Sharing my life lessons—the successes and failures—is in service of my why.

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    2. Is there something about helping people achieve personal and professional success that helped you discover something about yourself?

    Steve:

    Yes. We all want to be needed and counted on. I was the oldest of four boys raised by a single mother and she counted on me a great deal to assist, help and, in some cases, lead. I enjoyed and respected the responsibility. In some ways, I enjoyed receiving the approval of a job well done.

    3. How do you currently measure success?

    Steve:

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    I measure success in the following ways:

    • Family = laughter
    • Giving back = gratitude
    • Business = Are we improving every day? Are we focused on “the process” and not just the results? Did my employees’ W2s increase year over year?

    4. Have there been any surprises along the way? Perhaps something that didn’t quite work out as planned?

    Steve:

    I wanted to be a sportscaster. No regrets but you never say never.

    5. Tell us more about your Daily Wins newsletter?

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    Steve:

    Life is hard. The way you succeed in life is to focus on the process versus the outcome. As a result, you have to take each day as it comes and focus on being successful today so tomorrow will take care of itself. The Daily Wins provides that ongoing focus on the process. If you win today, tomorrow will take care of itself.

    6. Are there any leaders who continue to motivate and inspire you? How do you keep learning?

    Steve:

    The two most important women in my life: My Wife and My Mother. My joyful nine-year-old son and all leaders who overcome adversity inspire me. I keep learning by surrounding myself with successful people and accountability coaches who push me through love, support, and tough questions.

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    I hope you enjoy my interview with Steve and are inspired by Steve’s story!

    If you want to know more about Steve, check out his website and his book Uncompromising: How an Unwavering Commitment to Your Why Leads to an Impactful Life and a Lasting Legacy.

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