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The Voice Inside Your Head Is Playing with You

The Voice Inside Your Head Is Playing with You

When LeBron James talked about his decision to leave Cleveland for the Miami Heat back in 2010, he was met with a barrage of negativity. People burned his jersey. Longtime fans turned on him.

    Leborn was able to create distance from the situation simply by changing how he talked about the situation,[1]

    I wanted to do what was best for LeBron James, and what LeBron James was going to do to make him happy.

      He was facing a negative situation and the negative reactions of fans, but he was able to use positive words to explain his decision. If he would have responded to the negativity directly by saying, “yes I’m sad that people burned my jersey, it makes me feel unappreciated and vulnerable”, the situation and the negativity would have grown worse.

      The critical voice inside our head

      Most don’t realize it, but as we go about our daily lives, we are subconsciously interpreting every situation that arises–both big and small. We have an internal voice inside our mind that shapes our perception about what we are experiencing.

      Some of our internal conversations can be negative, unrealistic, self-defeating and self-deprecating. We say things like, ‘I’m going to fail for sure’, or ‘I didn’t do well. I’m hopeless. I’m useless.’

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      Negative self-talk can come from:

      • A bad mood that stirs up negative thoughts.
      • The habit of being overly critical which may stem from your childhood.
      • Pessimism and always expecting the worst.
      • Negative past experiences and the persistent belief that history repeats itself.
      • Fear, anxiety, worries, depression and the different kinds of psychological problems that feed and perpetuate negative thinking.

      The consequences of negative self-talk builds over time. Each time you engage in negative self-talk, you shoot yourself an arrow. Each arrow by itself is fairly insignificant. But over time, it can break you. Repeatedly berating yourself and believing the worse slowly sabotages you.

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            Thinking of yourself as clumsy, a loser, ugly , stupid, insignificant or worthless is an indicator that your self-talk is negative and you may be slowly orchestrating your own demise. Internal negativity makes you see yourself as irreparably flawed, inadequate or incompetent and as a result your self confidence is diminished.

            Seeing yourself as hopeless, blaming yourself whenever something goes wrong or dwelling on worst-case scenarios are all examples of exaggerated, negative thought patterns. And this kind of distorted thinking can cause you to spiral downward until you’re so far down you are unable to see or imagine anything positive.

            Negative self-talk reinforces any irrational ideas you already have. Each time you mentally rehearse negative phrases, you strengthen those irrational beliefs and perceptions. And with time, your negativity gathers the strength to cripple–and in some cases– even kill you.

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            Ridding yourself of negative self-talk

              Replacing a negative mindset with a positive one requires slow and methodical effort. Here are a few steps that can help you recognize, stop and replace negative thoughts with positive ones:

              1. Identify the times negative self-talk arises.
              2. Identify what triggered those thoughts.
              3. Counter your negative thoughts with positive–factual ones.
              4. Create yourself a script that you can use to counter negative thoughts as soon as they arise.

              When thoughts such as “I am worthless” arise, counter them with more realistic thoughts such as “my kids need me” or “my colleague values my work.” Each time you counter negative statements with positive facts, your negative thoughts lose power.

              Try to view each situation objectively, like an outsider looking in and then try to determine what is best for that person (you) in that situation, similar to what Lebron James did.

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              Repeating this cycle over and over trains your mind to seek out and focus on the positive. And slowly positive thoughts will become your default. You have power over how you precieve life and how you interact with it. The first step in being fulfilled and achieving your goals begins by training that small voice in your head to speak positivity.

              Featured photo credit: pixabay via pixabay.com

              Reference

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              Anna Chui

              Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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              Last Updated on April 7, 2020

              How to Use the Law of Attraction to Make Your Dreams Happen

              How to Use the Law of Attraction to Make Your Dreams Happen

              People seem to believe that they can simply think their way straight to success. They mistakenly believe that if they just think about their dreams often enough and vividly enough that–poof!–They’ll just seem to come true.

              But life is not a magic trick.

              If you told a starving child in Africa who had not had a single meal in five days to use the Law of Attraction to manifest a meal for themselves, how well do you think it would work out for them?

              Clearly, there’s more to it than envisioning what you want.

              If you want to know what it really takes to achieve your greatest goals and ambitions, then here’s a list of steps that will outline how to use the Law of Attraction the proper way.

              1. Focus Your Thoughts in the Direction of Your Dreams

              If you were to take a pebble and toss it into a pond, what happens?

              As soon as the pebble strikes the surface of the water, you get a series of ripples or waves, which spread outwards in a circular direction, until they get to the shoreline and seem to stop.

              The larger the pebble, the larger the ripples. The larger the pebble, the higher the waves.

              Two stones of different sizes and weights tossed in at the same time, at different places but in close proximity, will both create a series of ripples, which will eventually merge with one another…

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              When the two sets of ripples converge, there seems to be a bit of a struggle as to which one overcomes or passes the other.

              As far as the human eye can see, if the ripples are the same size, both seem to stop or merge when they collide.

              But if one set of ripples is larger than the other, the larger set sweeps over the smaller set and creates waves in the wake of the smaller ripples.

              Let’s consider this analogy in relation to our own thought-patterns and mental impulses…

              Imagine you’ve got two stones in each hand.

              • The stone in your left hand is labeled, “failure”
              • The stone in your right hand is labeled, “success”

              The weight of each stone is in direct proportion to the amount of *thought* you give its label.

              So… How heavy are your stones?

              If your “failure” stone is heavier, then its ripples will simply stop or take over the ripples created by your stone labeled “success.”

              But if your “success” stone is heavier, then that will be the one that takes over.

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              It’s important to keep this in mind as you put the Law of Attraction to use towards making your dreams happen: ensure that you focus your thoughts on successfully achieving those dreams more often than you focus on the fear of failure that you might experience if you don’t.

              2. Get Specific

              What do you want? What do your dreams look like, specifically?

              The other day, my three-year-old daughter lost one of her toys. It was a little brown tiger with a red sweater. When she couldn’t find it, she freaked out. She loved that little tiger with a red sweater.

              Of course, being a loving dad, I tried helping her find it – but to no avail. We looked all over the place, and it was nowhere to be found.

              Eventually, I stumbled upon a little tiger. Yes!

              I ran over to my daughter, Nora, and enthusiastically said, “I found it! I found it!”

              She popped her head up from looking under the couch and joyfully ran over to me with her hands extended…

              But then, as she got closer, the glimmer in her eyes disappeared. “That’s not it, Dada!” she whined.

              Then she took the tiger and held it up for me, “This tiger is wearing a pink sweater, it’s a girl-tiger, and her fur is light brown. My favorite tiger is lost and it wears a red sweater, it’s a boy-tiger, and he’s dark brown!”

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              So, we searched and searched, and searched some more.

              And eventually, we found that tiger.

              Nora found exactly what she was looking for, because she refused to settle for anything less.

              And even though this can be annoying sometimes, even though it doesn’t always make sense to be so exacting about what you want, I can’t help but respect the hustle.

              The key take-away from the story is this: if you want to make the Law of Attraction work for you, you have got to get specific. What is it, exactly that you want? Figure it out down to every specific detail and write it down.

              Once you’ve done that, it’s time to start taking action towards making it happen.

              3. Put Some Actions Where Your Thoughts Are

              Many people make the mistake of looking at the Law of Attraction as if it were a stand-alone solution to making their dreams a reality. They believe that they can make a vision board and use positive thinking to achieve success.

              But these folks need a wake-up call, because positive thinking is not enough. It will never be enough.

              If we THINK positive, but we still FEEL negative, then how will we ACT?

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              Your thoughts, actions and feelings are like a three-legged stool. Positive thinking is powerful, but only when we think of it as one of the three necessary legs that reinforces the stool we’re sitting on.

              If we don’t want the stool to wobble or break, we’ve got to make sure we give each leg the care it needs to keep us from falling down and getting hurt.

              The key here, with making the Law of Attraction work for you, is to focus on being as congruent as possible between your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

              What’s the best way to do that?

              First, remember that the way you THINK has got to be in line with the way you ACT. Because the way you act is going to have an impact on the way you FEEL.

              And the way you feel is going to help reinforce the way you think, or it’s going to help you re-examine the way you think. Which is going to circle right back around into helping you decide the way you choose to act in any given situation.

              See the feedback loop these three end up creating?

              The Bottom Line

              It’s not the Law of Attraction or positive thinking alone that drives our success in life — it’s about being in positive congruence between the way we think, act, and feel that drives our success in life… And at the very least, keeps us from falling off the stool.

              If we want to make big things happen, we’ve got to take action.

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              Featured photo credit: Nathan McBride via unsplash.com

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