Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 4, 2019

How to Not Be Sad When It Feels Like Everything Is Going Wrong

How to Not Be Sad When It Feels Like Everything Is Going Wrong

I can safely say that the previous year was the most challenging year I had experienced, and it emotionally broke me. After losing my grandfather over the summer, I had lost my father, and a good friend a week apart from one another later in the year. Looking back, it was almost a domino effect that left me feeling completely angry, sad, and other times transparently emotionless.

Gaining emotional balance is far different than finding physical or mental balance. Human emotions, especially, sadness, pain, depression, and anxiety, tend to arrive suddenly and uninvited. Sometimes, it may feel like the odds are stacked against your favor, which makes it harder to break through that specific cycle or see the light at the end of the tunnel.

These emotions – especially sadness – is weighed differently by everyone and may feel amplified during specific periods in one’s life. Whether it be because of a breakup, losing a friend or a loved one, feeling like a failure, or even homesickness, understand that it’s completely natural to feel a certain way about it.

So how to not be sad?

1. Keep in Mind That There’s a Season to Everything

Like nature’s seasons, we also go through seasons in life. Some seasons may seem longer than others especially when it comes to dealing with emotions such as sadness, grief, sorrow, and depression. But just like nature, there is a beginning, and there is a renewal to every moment in our lives.

Take a moment to think back on the last five years. The chances are you’ve had your highs and lows, and maybe one particular year stood out more than the others. For that particular moment, event, or even year, it might have been hard to see the light or good that was to come out of it.

Trust that while it seems like everything is going against you, there is a close to every single loop in our lives. It’s also meant for your growth mentally, physically, and spiritually to have these renewal periods.

2. Embrace the Domino Effect

Other times, life will have some dominos lined up for you and there will be a time when it’ll all come tumbling one after another – or it may seem so. Sometimes, it’s the universe clearing and paving something else, but the frustrating part of it is not knowing what is coming to fill that space.

Advertising

The unknown can be an exciting thing, but can also create restlessness, anxiety, and uncertainty. It’s part of trusting the process and knowing that others have, are, or will be going through similar emotions.

It’s not an end-all, but instead a reset button for what’s to come next. It’s a cleanse that we need and is also a reminder that maybe we have to switch our perceptions.

You’re also the director and screenwriter of your life and it’s time to embrace all your moments and even the ones you feel are against you. Making that simple switch in perception can make all the difference

3. Find Your Bliss

It’s time to break away from the single-minded pursuit of happiness and embrace the thing that works for you and what’s in alignment to your values. Everyone deals with sadness in a different way –exercising, drawing, dancing, connecting with friends, or spending time with family.

Be compassionate to yourself and find what makes you happy. It’s not a one-answer-fits-all, and it’s not supposed to be. Find several things you can refer back to that brings balance mentally, physically, and most importantly emotionally.

4. Start a 5 Minute Journal

Whether you’re a writer or not, try starting a 5 minute journal and write down all the things you are grateful for. Sure, it may sound tedious at first, but use those 5 minutes that you were going to use scanning through social media or watching television towards something that can help shift your emotions.

Many successful entrepreneurs start their day with gratitude, and just by listing down the simple things you appreciate daily, you begin to notice other things to be grateful for throughout the day. Here are several prompts to get you started:

  • Who made you smile in the last 24-hours and why did that person make you happy?
  • Was there a specific song on the radio that reminded you of a fun time in your life? How did that make you feel?
  • Think about what you had for breakfast and how it fueled you for the day. How did that energize you?

Once you start looking at the little things to be grateful for, it starts becoming a natural habit that then begins shifting your emotions automatically. Call it the happy domino effect.

Advertising

5. Reach out to Someone You Can Connect With

Having a huge support system is a blessing, but there’s always someone you might be able to connect with on a deeper and personal level.

Everyone’s circumstances and situations are different and while you may feel that you are the only person that may be feeling a certain way about it, open up yourself to connect with others who similarly could have felt the same way.

Breakups happen for a number of different reasons, but that similar feeling of grieving that person, relationship, and entity still exists. Homesickness may be defined differently depending on a person, but it’s that mutual feeling of longing for a place or person.

Life’s not meant to go about alone, but in the company of others.

6. Change Your Perception

When my father passed away, I went through the stages of grief – as most people do. I remember texting a friend that I was angry at him for leaving, although I know that my father’s fate was not in my hands.

Once you go down that Rabbit Hole of emotions, it’s hard to come back up, especially when you feel like everything is going wrong. Here’s the spoiler alert:

There is no Wonderland or a magical place with all the answers. The tunnel never ends unless you stop yourself from free falling with your thoughts and find the willpower to climb out of that tunnel.

It’s about switching those perceptions and pushing your mental power– which includes seeing the silver lining in places that seem almost impossible.

Advertising

Here are questions to help shift those current perceptions into more positive thoughts and ideas

  • Life isn’t happening to me, but instead for me. What am I learning from this and why now?
  • How can I help others with what I am experiencing?
  • Is being negative helping anyone or myself?

Keep in mind being negative and being sad are two completely different emotions. Being sad is natural and sometimes you have to ride those emotions out; but being negative sometimes stems from unaddressed sadness.

With that, I searched for the silver lining in the sudden passing of my father and saw that the beautiful thing about death is that it brings people closer in the most bittersweet way.

Changing your perception is the game changer.

7. Put Yourself First

Put yourself first and most especially during your darkest hours. Everyone is different, and there isn’t a clean cut and simple solution when dealing with sadness.

If it helps, surround yourself with people whether it be a distraction mechanism or something to bring up your vibrations. If it helps to turn off your phone for half the day and disconnect, allow yourself that time. If you’d rather be alone to let go and release any pent-up emotions, or even to be in complete silence and solitude – allow yourself those moments.

Once you show up for yourself and begin putting yourself first, you start to show up in other areas in life again.

Here’re some self-care tips for you: 30 Self Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit

Advertising

8. Gain and Give Compassion

Compassion is not always a skill that’s given, but a sometimes it’s a skill learned. As humans, we have genuine compassion towards other human beings, animals, and nature by being kind, gentle, and observant – things that flow naturally.

Yet, there are some areas in life we will not truly and fully understand unless we have gone through it ourselves. Most times, it may be understanding traumatic experiences.

Sadness can be an all encompassing emotion, but you’re not alone.

By taking some time to be compassionate towards other people and their waves of sadness, you may feel more connected to that particular person even if you haven’t gone through that particular event. In return, compassion is a energetic wave and what you give always comes back around.

Final Thoughts

Sadness is a healthy human emotion and is something your family, friends, colleagues, and mentors have all experienced. Reach out to loved ones, especially those you have a special connection with.

Remember to put yourself first and be open to trying new things that may seem foreign to you such as starting a journal or exercising. When everything starts feeling like it’s hitting at once, know that there’s a season to all of this – even your darkest moments.

More Inspirations About Happiness

Featured photo credit: Chad Madden via unsplash.com

More by this author

Akina Chargualaf

Akina Chargualaf is an entrepreneur, writer, and the content creator of travel and personal development blog Finding Fifth.

How to Not Be Sad When It Feels Like Everything Is Going Wrong How to Talk to Your Future Self to Change Your Life How To Live Life With No Regrets Joy Vs Happiness: What’s the Difference and Can We Achieve Both? 7 Practical Ways to Change Your Thinking and Change Your Life

Trending in Mental Strength

1 How to Make Changes in Life To Be The Best Version of You 2 How to Make Positive Changes Now (And Start Living a Fulfilling Life) 3 50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Overcome Life’s Challenges 4 10 Simple Strategies to Make Your Life Better Starting Today 5 13 Simple Habits to Cultivate Self-Compassion

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

Advertising

When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

Advertising

3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

Advertising

5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

Advertising

7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

More About Positivity

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

Read Next