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Last Updated on December 4, 2020

How to Form Your Success Formula to Get Unstuck in Life

How to Form Your Success Formula to Get Unstuck in Life

Life can come as a roller coaster sometimes. It is tough to be the best version of yourself as you constantly meet with obstacles and life’s changing dynamisms. To move on to a different plateau, you may need to be more strategic and systematic in your approach to life.

I have been there. I know how it feels to get stuck and having nowhere to go. Yes, you may feel lost and don’t know how to come out from that hole. One thing I know though is that you can always get out and find a solution. It all starts with changing your thoughts and actions.

These steps are not hard but can be a simple success formula which when taken can create lasting changes in your life.

1. Be Realistic

There is nothing that can move you forward in life until you are realistic enough to admit something is broken. Everything is not okay, you don’t need to pretend or butter the truth.

You have to be completely honest with yourself, take full responsibility for your life at this point and push forward.

You have to admit that you’ve made poor decisions, you have made some mistakes and may not be working as hard as you should be. Yet, there is hope if you can be brutally honest with yourself and move forward from there.

2. Make That Choice to Be Different

Perhaps you are stuck with doing the same routine, going to the same places and being in the wrong circle. It is up to you to point your life in a new direction.

Yes, you could already be disgusted with the current one and need to do things differently. It is important for you to get fed up with the world you are in, so you can make a choice for something better. Making such decisions has a way of changing everything!

3. Look for Something You’re Really Good At

Your life may be boring in certain areas, but it doesn’t have to be boring in all areas. Y

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ou may need to shift your mindset and go back to those things you have always been fond of. When you can find such passion, you should make that decision to become better at it.

Change can be a slow process, but continually putting in the work every day could see your life change full circle.

4. Ask the Right Questions

“What could I do to be better?” “How can I make the most of your time?” “Where and when did it go wrong?” “What am I not doing right?”

You can’t take it away, asking the right questions will always lead to great answers.

You really need to be introspective when asking those questions about your life, where it is now and how you can position yourself for it to be better. The answers you get will be what leads you to finding a surer and more certain path to become happier and more successful.

You could also ask others what you are really good at and what role they see you taking on. You don’t need to simply ask anybody, ask the people who are already living the life you desire. Surely, they should be able to point you at the right direction.

At the end of the day, know that it is your duty to seek the life you desire, and perhaps asking smart questions could be what leads you there.

5. Push Your Mental Powers

Your thoughts have a way of guiding you to living the best life. You become what you think about most of the time. You shouldn’t just accept things the way they are, do something about it.

Don’t complain about how terrible your life has become, rather do something about it. Look for ways to be better at what you do.

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By thinking right and positively, you will certainly take charge of your life and respond actively to those things that happen to you.

Remember, to every setback, there is a way out. If you are failing at your career or job, you may need to gain new skills. If you are broke and do not have the money to live the best life, go out there and look for a job or learn something.

There is always a way out of that dead-end job or relationship if you constantly apply yourself to thinking.

6. Get a Mentor

It is an age-old principle of success to find yourself a mentor, someone who will act as a guide in helping you actualize your dreams.

Find someone doing well in a particular area in life, yes, you want to be like them and embrace their tutelage.

Having someone you can look up to inspires you to be better. They certainly would have a thing or two to tell you that would empower you to get out there to accomplish great things.

So go out there, look for positive role models that can certainly have a major impact in your life. Here’s how to find a mentor that fits you:

A Good Mentor Is Hard to Find: What to Look for in a Mentor

7. Be Responsible

Complaining or playing the blame game won’t take you anywhere. If you want to stop feeling stuck, you have to learn to take responsibility for your actions and where you are now.

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You don’t have to drain your energy with complaining or any negative vibe. Look at the bright side. Know that if you really act responsibly you will get out of any hole you are in.

8. Be Aware

Knowing yourself helps you win a thousand battles. Self-awareness is pivotal to living the life of your dreams. Such knowledge about yourself helps you find those things that can push you forward to great accomplishments.

Perhaps you have been talked down to or doubt yourself, think about what you could do with your life. The people talking down on you or telling you that you can’t are really not the problem – you are actually.

And if you are the problem, you can also be the solution too. When you know who you are, what you want and where you are going, no one can stop or deter you.

So study yourself, accept your role in the events of your life and see how you can better your strengths to face the challenges that would come your way. Take a look at this guide and learn how to be more self-aware:

Being Self Aware Is the Key to Success: How to Boost Self Awareness

9. Assume Total Control of Your Life

On the path to success, nothing should be left to chance. Your life is your responsibility. You are the one in the driver’s seat. You have control over the decisions you make. You also have control over how you respond to events or other people’s actions.

Certainly, there will be obstacles along the way, however you should have a guiding philosophy or ideology that will take you forward.

How you want to be is what you will be anyways. You may not be able to control a lot of factors in your life, but you can control your destiny if you assume control of your attitude, personality and aspirations.

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10. Improve Your Circle

Your circle could be a mirror of how you view the world. If you are in a negative circle that robs you of your joy and self-esteem, you are not really going to attain much.

Improve your circle of friends. Focus on quality rather than quantity. People that push you to become the best version of yourself or make you feel good about yourself shouldn’t be traded for anything in the world.

11. Get Motivated

There are a lot of audio materials and self-help books that would help you find direction even when you are lost. Such food for the soul could help you see your strengths and abilities after all.

Yes, no matter how drained and down you are, there is always something you have to offer. Motivate yourself by listening to or reading positive materials. This way you can know that others have been where you are and they survived.

Stop listening to the naysayers, start listening to those who have the “I can” spirit.

The Bottom Line

No matter how you like it or not, change is a slow process. Not everything you wish for will come all at once. But those consistent daily efforts could make a lot of difference.

It starts with accepting where you are right now and being willing to put in the work to get out of your current position.

Feeling lost is a state of mind anyways. Making those necessary changes could create a lasting change in your life and take you to the right direction after all.

Featured photo credit: Austin Pacheco via unsplash.com

More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on April 27, 2021

How To Accept Responsibility For Your Life (7 No-Nonsense Tips)

How To Accept Responsibility For Your Life (7 No-Nonsense Tips)

Chances are that if you’re reading this, you are human. This means that there is likely a time or two when you have not taken responsibility for something in your life. We’ve all been there. Maybe you broke an item at a place of employment but didn’t fess up to it, or you missed a deadline and blamed the reason why on someone else, or perhaps you decided a responsibility was too great to face.

Accepting responsibility can be challenging because it doesn’t always feel good. It can require time we think we don’t have. Feelings of shame or inadequacy can surface. Rather than face those feelings, it’s much easier to not accept responsibility.

This is all understandable. But it may not be serving us and who we want to be in the long run.

Accepting responsibility has benefits at work, home, and all aspects of life. When we demonstrate to ourselves that we can be responsible, we show our strength of character, our leadership qualities, and even our adulting skills.

Knowing that doesn’t make accepting responsibility any easier, does it?

Using the example of pretending that you live in an apartment with multiple roommates where you all have to share the kitchen, we will look at seven tips on how to accept responsibility for your life.

1. Stop Playing the Victim

You’ve just cooked a big meal involving several pots, pans, and cooking utensils. You reflect on feeling overwhelmed and stressed by life right now and decide that you just don’t have the time or energy to do your dishes right now. The next time you or your roommates want to use the kitchen, there’s a big mess and a lack of options for pans and cutlery to use.

Maybe one of your roommates will do it for you? Superman to the rescue? I hate to break it to you, but Superman doesn’t actually exist.

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Why insist on crushing every childhood fantasy? Because when we wait for someone else to fix our problems, we are playing the victim, and if Superman doesn’t exist (or Spiderman or Wonder Woman, or Black Panther, etc.), then we will be perpetually tied to the proverbial train tracks, waiting for someone else to save us.[1]

What we can do in this situation is acknowledge and validate our feelings. In the above scenario, you’re focusing on feeling overwhelmed. This feeling isn’t “bad.” But it does affect your motivation to accept responsibility, keeping you in a victim mindset. It isn’t just the dishes that you need to face. You also need to take responsibility for your emotions.

Acknowledging and validating emotions help you to understand what you’re feeling and why. You can then redirect the energy you’re wasting on being a victim and redirect it toward more productive things in life. Like doing your own dishes.

There are many different ways we can develop the skill of self-acknowledgment and validation. One of the best is to write about what you’re experiencing. You may be surprised by how you describe the “what” and “why” of your feelings. You may even uncover other times in your life when you felt this way and find that your current thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are based on that past. You might even heal an old experience as you deal with the present circumstance!

2. End the Blame Game

“If my roommates were more consistent about doing their dishes, then I would feel like I could do mine.”

It’s so easy to come up with excuses and reasons why we shouldn’t be held to a higher standard than anyone else. We find interesting ways to blame others for why we can’t do something. This becomes another way to avoid taking responsibility, and we can do so out of a perspective of anger.[2]

Anger can be energetically compelling, but it’s not always rooted in reality. It can keep us stuck and prevent us from having the life and relationships we really want. Much like being the victim, it’s important to ask yourself how being and staying angry is serving you. Again, it’s important to acknowledge and validate these thoughts and feelings too.

Perhaps you’re really feeling mad at someone at your workplace who isn’t taking responsibility for their own projects. You end up taking on their work, allowing anger to build up. By the time you get home, you need a place to let that anger out. And so, your anger is directed toward your kitchen and your roommates.

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This may help you feel better for a little while, but it’s not sustainable. There are so many ways of dealing with anger. It would serve you and others around you well to learn how to manage and work with any anger you have in your life so that you can resume your acceptance of responsibility.

3. Forgive Yourself and others

After reading tips number 1 and 2, perhaps you are now adept at practicing acknowledging and validating your feelings. Because of that work, it’s easier to forgive yourself and others.

For instance, without the feelings of victimhood and blame, you have the energy to see things from a perspective of forgiveness and tolerance.

From a place of forgiveness, you see that even though your roommates don’t take care of their dishes right away every time, they do so more often than not. Plus, you can see that all of you have challenging things happening in your lives right now, so why should your challenges make it so that you can slack off? You may even remember times when your roommates have helped you out with cleaning the kitchen even though the mess wasn’t theirs.

As you forgive others, you forgive yourself too and take ownership of your own tasks.

4. Use Responsibility as a Way to Help Others

Shirking our responsibilities can actually affect others’ well-being. We can step into a space of considering how our actions, or lack thereof, might be burdening or harming others.

For example, not doing your dishes and leaving the kitchen dirty means that when another roommate wants to use the kitchen to make a meal, they may have to clean the kitchen first to have access to the pots, pans, and utensils required. They may feel annoyed that you didn’t take responsibility for your mess, which affects your relationship with your roommate. A confrontation may be on the horizon.

However, if you can put yourself in the frame of mind to consider things from your roommate’s position, you might think twice about leaving the dishes. By taking responsibility and doing your part to keep the kitchen clean, you are taking care of the space and your roommates.

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A lot of people find it easier and highly beneficial to do things out of a sense of responsibility for others.[3] Thinking about things from another’s perspective can be a motivating factor and can provide us with feelings of purpose.

5. Look for the Win-Win

When we choose not to take responsibility, we are choosing a zero-sum game, meaning nobody wins. What if you looked for the win-win opportunity of taking responsibility instead?

Maybe there have been times when your roommates have saddled you with a messy kitchen. If you now decide to leave your mess, nobody wins. Whereas, cleaning up after yourself now means that you are modeling how you want the space to be treated by everyone. You are also ensuring that your roommates can trust you to take responsibility for your cleaning tasks, and the next person who wants to use the kitchen will be able to do so.

In this scenario, you will be taking responsibility, cultivating a relationship of trust with your roommates, and making it so that nobody else has to clean up after you. Everyone wins.

6. Make Taking Responsibility Fun

Another vantage point from which we could look is the place of joy. Yes, joy.

It’s easy to paint “cleaning the kitchen” in a negative light when shows are streaming on Netflix and downtime activities calling. But what could happen for you if you made the task of doing the dishes fun?

How can it be fun? This is where you get to be creative.

Some ideas could be playing some of your favorite music as you clean, invite a roommate to chat while you clean, or you could play that show you’re binging on Netflix as you scrub. Have Airpods? Call a friend as you clean!

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Finding a way to make it fun helps you lose track of time and get the job done faster. It could also provide some necessary “play” time. We don’t play enough as adults. Get back to your childhood roots and find ways to incorporate play into your daily routine, and get the dishes done at the same time!

7. Choose Your Own Adventure

When we approach responsibility from our highest self, we can be at choice for how we want to accept it. This requires an awareness of what we intend to accomplish or learn in any life experience.

For instance, when faced with a responsibility, you could consider all the ways of looking at it (from a place of victimhood, blame, forgiveness, service to others, win-win, or fun) and decide which perspective would serve the highest good of all, yourself included.

When we can approach any life situation from the standpoint of having choices, doesn’t that feel better than feeling forced into a decision or action?

Conclusion

Knowing that you can make conscious choices at any time in your life hopefully helps you to feel freer and more energized for any life responsibility you choose to accept. These seven tips on how to accept responsibility will set you up for a good start.

More Tips on How To Be a Responsible Person

Featured photo credit: Marcos Paulo Prado via unsplash.com

Reference

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