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How to Find a Mentor That Will Help You Succeed

How to Find a Mentor That Will Help You Succeed

Entrepreneurs are an eclectic bunch! Some have entrepreneurship thrust upon them by necessity, while others were born with a passion for it. But no matter how you get there, all entrepreneurs start out as novices when launching their first business.

Having a mentor at this stage in your career can mean the difference between success and failure over the long term. A 2012 survey found that entrepreneurs who received mentoring increasing their revenue by an average $47,000 a year.[1] And the American Psychological Association says that there are a host of benefits of mentorship including, career coaching, a larger and wider professional network and more job satisfaction for the entrepreneur.[2]

But how do you find a mentor, what should you look for and how do you ask someone to be a mentor? These are important questions to consider before you get into a mentoring relationship.

What is a Mentor?

Before we get into exactly how to find a mentor, it’s important to understand what a mentor is, as well as what a mentor is not.

A good working definition of a mentor for our purposes is

“Someone with experience in a field, occupation or business who is willing to share it with a less experienced person called a mentee”.

You may be reading this and thinking that this sounds a lot like a business coach. After all, a coach is someone who has experience and expertise in a field that is paid to share it with you. While the two roles are similar, there are a couple of important differences.

First of all, the mentoring relationship is rarely a paid one while hiring a coach or consultant is.

Secondly, hiring a business coach is a more formal relationship with a clearly defined project and a finite time frame. A mentor/mentee relationship is more informal and can last for years.

Finally, when you hire a coach, you can expect them to give you specific advice to solve a specific problem. A mentor acts more as a sounding board for problems, so that you can work them out yourself.

Benefits of a Mentor-Mentee Relationship

The obvious benefit of having a mentor/mentee relationship is the mentor’s experience in the field. For someone just starting out this is invaluable. All businesses have their unique quirks that are only known to the insiders.

For example, you may think that insurance companies make all their money off of the premiums that you pay. But did you know that the real money is made in the “float”?[3]

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The float is the time between when an insurance company gets your money and when they have to pay out your claim. The longer that period is, the more money is being made by the insurance company. And you wondered why they were so slow paying your claim!

It’s this kind of little known insider knowledge that makes having a mentor so valuable. Additionally, a mentor will offer objective advice, a unique perspective and encouragement.

But the biggest benefit of a mentoring relationship is experience. Experience is an asset just like any other asset albeit an expensive one to get. You can significantly cut your costs of acquiring experience with a good mentor.

How to Find a Mentor in 7 (Not So) Easy Steps

1. Prepare Yourself

As entrepreneurs, we are used to doing things by ourselves. We read articles and watch YouTube videos in order to tackle the unknown. And while this self motivation and problem solving strategy is what defines us, it’s a double edged sword.

A lot of times, we get tunnel vision about how things should work and how problems get solved. This rigidity can limit the options we see. It’s almost always better to give up on the idea of how things “should work” in theory and embrace the lessons of experience.

I learned this the hard way when I was designing a commission structure for my sales people. I had set it up so that they would get a percentage of each sale they made. It made sense to me. After all, the more they sold, the higher their commissions would be.

However, I soon discovered that while they were selling to the customers who were looking to buy, they weren’t going out of their way to make the sale happen.

I ended up talking about this with a friend who was a fellow business owner and he pointed out that I was relying exclusively on extrinsic motivation to generate sales, (commissions). We talked about ways to develop intrinsic motivation within the team as it’s a much better motivational technique than extrinsic motivation.

Long story short, not only did sales improve, but so did morale.

2. It’s About the Person More Than the Position

Ideally, you should find a mentor who is the idealized version of what you want to become. But there are some basic characteristics that you shouldn’t ignore when choosing a mentor.

The most important one is honesty and trustworthiness. It should go without saying, but I’ve seen too many people get burned because they were blinded by a person’s position instead of principles.

3. Make Yourself Attractive to Potential Mentors

People who are experts in their fields have a passion for it, and they are often on the lookout for people who share that passion. So your job is to show them that for you, it’s more than just a job or a way to make money. You share the same passion as they do.

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Unfortunately, this is not something that you can fake. The experts can spot a fake from the genuine article a mile away.

With that being said, you can make yourself stand out from the crowd by putting in extra effort, working late, contributing in meetings and taking on those jobs that others won’t. These are the things that mentors notice and even if you don’t share their passion for the work, putting in the extra effort will make you a more attractive candidate for mentorship.

4. Open Yourself up to All of the Possibilities

You can’t always pick out your own mentor. Sometimes, mentors pick you; be open to this possibility.

We see this a lot when people want mentors who are “too far up the food chain”. It’s common for young people just starting out to pick the CEO or President of the company to be a mentor. These people rarely have the time or inclination to mentor someone who may or may not be with the company in a year. Meanwhile, a manager or VP who has a vested interest in your success could be the perfect mentor fit (for now).

You also want to make sure that you are looking side to side for mentors, not just up. Sometimes, you can find a peer that is a rising star. Encourage and emulate that person. At the very least, you’ll develop some good networking opportunities down the road.

5. Choose Someone Close

While the advent of the internet has made long distance mentorship possible, it’s still not ideal. Your mentor should be someone who is fairly easy to reach and ideally someone close enough that you can have face to face meetings.

On a side note, whenever I meet with a mentor of mine, I alway pay. It doesn’t matter if it’s coffee or a meal out with their family, it’s my treat. Make sure your mentor-mentee relationship is a two way street.

6. Don’t Always Look for Someone like You

Good mentors come in all shapes and sizes. Our former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice put it this way:

“Search for role models you can look up to and people who take an interest in your career. But here’s an important warning: You don’t have to have mentors who look like you. Had I been waiting for a black, female Soviet specialist mentor, I would still be waiting. Most of my mentors have been old white men, because they were the ones who dominated my field.”

7. Make the Ask

Asking someone to be your mentor doesn’t have to be awkward, just ask your friend to hand them a note that says “Do you want to be my mentor? circle one. Yes, No, Maybe”. Okay that was a joke, but you will need to formalize the relationship so that expectations are clear.

The first thing you need to do is to be clear about what you are looking for in the mentor-mentee relationship. Only then should you make the ask. Then make sure your ask follows this formula:

  • Tell them what you admire about them.
  • Explain what your goals are for the mentoring process.
  • Suggest a logistical scenario.

Your conversation should go something like this,“Thanks for taking the time to talk with me, I was really impressed with how you handled the client/sale/business meeting (whatever). I would like to work on my skills in that area and was wondering if you’d be willing to mentor me? I don’t want to take up a lot of your time, but if we could do lunch once a week, maybe on Wednesday? Would you be open to that?”

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This is a direct, strait to the point conversation that gives the prospective mentor all the information they need to evaluate your request.

The Don’ts of a Mentor Relationship

So we’ve talked about what the mentor/mentee relationship is and even how you should go about getting a mentor. But there are some very specific don’ts that as a potential mentee, you should know about.

Don’t Ask Someone You’ve Never Had a Conversation With

Sure, the top person in your industry would probably be a great mentor, but unless you already have a relationship with them, it’s not going to work.

The mentor-mentee relationship is a personal one. This allows for the mentor to become vested in your success. You can not expect someone to have a vested interest in your success who doesn’t even know you.

Don’t Meet with Your Mentor If You’re Unprepared

A mentor’s time is valuable, don’t waste it with questions that you could and should figure out on your own.

A good rule of thumb is; “If you can Google it, then Google it, don’t ask your mentor.” Use the limited time you have with them wisely.

Don’t Just Take from a Mentor

As I stated earlier, whenever I meet with my mentors, I pay. This is an acknowledgement of the value the mentor brings to the relationship. Their knowledge and experience is worth more than any cup of Starbucks or family dinner that I pay for.

But even if you don’t or can’t pay, there is always something you can do to help out your mentor. The mentor-mentee relationship is a reciprocal one.

Don’t Make It Difficult to Meet

Make sure you are working around the mentor’s schedule and not yours. While this is a reciprocal relationship, the truth is, as the mentee, you’re getting most of the benefits from the relationship.

Besides, the more senior the mentor, the more demands they will have on their time.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Tough Questions

And by tough questions, I don’t mean “How do I design an employee benefits package?”

I mean “Where am I falling short?”, “What do I need to work on or improve?” or “What do you see as my biggest weakness?”

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Trust me, if you can ask these types of questions and be open to hearing the answers, it will help your business more than anything else.

Don’t Ignore Their Advice

One of the quickest ways to ruin a mentor-mentee relationship is to ask for advice and then ignore it. Now this doesn’t mean that you have to do everything that your mentor tells you to do. After all, it’s still your business or career. Just be selective about when and how you ask for advice.

For example, it’s better to say “I have a choice between scenario A and scenario B.” What do you think about the pros and cons of each?” rather than to say “I have a choice between scenario A and scenario B. Which one should I choose?”

In the first example, you’re using them as a sounding board for your decision, in the second example you are asking them to make a decision for your business.

When you ask them to make a decision for your business, out of all the possible outcomes, only one is positive. Your mentor makes the right decision for you. If the mentor makes the wrong decision, then you are unhappy. If the mentor makes the right decision and you don’t take their advice, the mentor is frustrated. If the mentor gives you the wrong advice and you ignore it, the value of the relationship is diminished.

The point here is to use the mentor’s knowledge and experience to guide you in your decisions, not to make the decisions for you.

Bottom Line

The value of a good mentor can not be overemphasized for the budding entrepreneur. The tricky part is knowing what to look for and how to find a mentor for your specific needs.

Mentors can be found almost anywhere, from friends and family to networking events, industry trade shows and even through social media with websites like LinkedIn. But wherever you find a mentor, make sure that it is someone who is trustworthy, with good communication skills who is willing to invest the time and effort involved in mentorship.

And always remember that the mentor/mentee relationship is a two way street so be sure to bring something of value to the mentor as well!

We hope you have enjoyed this article. If you did, please share it with friends and family on social media. It help us out and is greatly appreciated!

Featured photo credit: NESA by Makers via unsplash.com

Reference

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David Carpenter

Lifelong entrepreneur and business owner helping others to realize the American Dream of business ownership

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

How to Improve Memory: 7 Natural (and Highly Effective) Ways

How to Improve Memory: 7 Natural (and Highly Effective) Ways

Memory plays an integral role in our lives, both in the short and long term. If you’re wondering how to improve memory, I’m here to tell you that there are natural and effective ways to do so.

Despite what you might think, improving your ability to recall information is certainly possible. You just need to know the right ways to do it.

Let’s dive straight into the first of seven easy ways to improve memory efficiently and reduce the risk of memory loss.

1. Meditate

We live in a world of non-stop, 24/7 information. It’s like a waterfall that’s endlessly pouring news, data, facts, and figures into our conscious minds.

Unfortunately, our brains are not designed to absorb this tremendous amount of information. It’s no wonder, then, that most people struggle to remember information and recall things.

Even if you believe you have a good memory and are comfortable with multi-tasking, you’ll also be aware that there’s only so much information your brain can process at one time. Research suggests that the more information and distractions you receive, the harder it is for you to transfer information to your long-term memory[1].

Fortunately, meditation can help.

Even if you just meditate for 10 minutes per day, you’ll boost your ability to focus, which, in turn, will make it easier for you to remember important facts.

While any amount of meditation will do something to help your memory, one study pointed out that “8 but not 4 weeks of brief, daily meditation decreased negative mood state and enhanced attention, working memory, and recognition memory as well as decreased state anxiety scores”[2].

Therefore, if you’re looking for the most benefits, try sticking with a meditation practice for at least 8 weeks.

However, meditation doesn’t just have to be closing your eyes and sitting in a lotus position. Some people prefer to simply take a short walk in nature. This clears and calms their mind, and still provides the all-important boost to their focus.

2. Get Plenty of Sleep

If you’re sleep deprived or have not been sleeping well, then it’s likely that you’re not able to remember well either. This is because sleep and memory are intimately connected.

If you have a busy life and regularly find yourself not getting enough sleep, then this will negatively impact your cognitive abilities, including your memory.

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If you want to learn how to improve memory, how much sleep should you be getting?

Well, according to the National Sleep Foundation[3], you need a minimum of seven to nine hours of sleep per night. If you get this amount of sleep regularly, then within just a few days, you’ll see a tangible improvement to your ability to remember and recall things[4].

If you want to improve memory, get plenty of sleep.

    Maintaining a proper sleep cycle is not always easy (especially when the latest Netflix series has just been released!), but if you care about improving your long and short term memory, then it’s critical that you try to get at least the recommended amount of sleep every night.

    Try these three things to naturally improve your sleep cycle:

    • Have a fixed bedtime (preferably before 10pm)
    • Don’t eat too late
    • Make sure your bedroom is as dark as possible

    Sleeping is a precious activity. It regenerates your body, clears your mind, and helps with the storing and retrieval of information.

    However, don’t sleep just yet, as I want to tell you about another great way to increase memory.

    3. Challenge Your Brain

    When was the last time you challenged your brain?

    I don’t mean challenged in the sense of overeating or under-sleeping. I’m referring to stretching your mental capabilities through things like crossword puzzles, Sudoku, and memory games.

    To expand your memory bank, and to make your recall razor-sharp, you need to continually challenge your brain.

    Feedback from Lifehack readers such as yourself has suggested that brain training apps are a super-effective way of doing this. Used regularly, these apps can enhance your focus, attention span, problem-solving ability, and memory.

    There are hundreds of these apps available (most of them for free), but I recommend starting out with one of the big three:

    • Peak (Android/iOS, free, 10 million+ downloads)
    • Lumosity (Android/iOS, free, 10 million+ downloads)
    • Elevate (Android/iOS, free, 5 million+ downloads)

    If you normally spend a chunk of your week playing computer games, then instead of shooting and killing your enemies, why not let some of them live while you put your attention into boosting your brain power!

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    Challenging your brain will strengthen your neural pathways and enhance your mental abilities. But don’t just take my word for it; try one of the apps above and see the positive benefits for yourself.

    4. Take More Breaks

    When I think back to my days as a budding entrepreneur, I distinctly remember working all the hours under the sun—and many under the moon, too!

    At that time, I believed that breaks were for the weak, and to become wealthy and successful, I needed to shed blood, sweat, and tears.

    However, if you want to know how to improve memory, taking regular breaks is the best way to keep yourself productive, creative, and alive to opportunities. It’s also the best way to learn new information.

    Typically, when studying lots of new information, most people will spend hours reading it in an attempt to learn and remember the content as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, they’ve overlooked something.

    One 2011 study from the University of Illinois concluded that “the brain is built to detect and respond to change…and prolonged attention to a single task actually hinders performance”[5].

    This is based on something called the “vigilance decrement.” This can be applied to many things. For example, we often don’t notice the feeling of clothing touch our bodies because our brain becomes accustomed to the sensation. However, if you change clothes, you’ll likely notice the difference in texture and temperature for a few minutes.

    When you take a break from memorizing information, it refocuses your attention and energy, leading to increased focus overall.

    It’s similar to physical exercise. You wouldn’t attempt to train vigorously for four hours in a row. Instead, you’d take regular breaks to give your lungs, heart, and muscles adequate time to recover. Failing to do this will result in muscle cramps and overexertion.

    Basically, make sure you take regular breaks when learning new information. I recommend at least a 10-minute break every hour. (You may also want to take a look at the Pomodoro Method.)

    5. Learn a New Skill

    I love this quote, as it’s 100% true but frequently overlooked:

    “Learning never exhausts the mind.” -Leonardo da Vinci

    From my experience of helping to develop the careers of dozens of Lifehack employees, I can definitively say that participating in meaningful and purposeful activities stimulates the mind. It also reduces stress and enhances health and well-being.

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    Let me give you an example of this:

    Imagine you work for a global financial institution in one of their call centers. You take over 100 calls a day, many of them complaints. When you started the job a few months back, you were excited to be in full-time employment and working for a household name.

    Unfortunately, your initial enthusiasm quickly turned into frustration.

    The endless complaint calls began to take their toll on you. And the supervisors irritated you too, as they were far too interested in micro-managing you rather than letting you work in your own way.

    Now, in the story above, the ending could be that you put up with a job you didn’t like and led a dull and frustrated working life for years and years. However, an alternative ending is this: you channeled your dissatisfaction into learning a new skill (computer coding).

    It took you a year or two to get up to speed, but it allowed you to successfully upgrade your career, and the ongoing learning made the call center job much more bearable.

    Clearly, learning new skills gives you impetus, focus, and something to aim for. Your brain loves to learn, and you should tap into this by always seeking out new information. When learning becomes a habit, you’ll find your ability to remember and recall things effortlessly becomes a habit, too.

    If you want to know how to learn something new every day, check out this article.

    6. Start Working out

    If you’re not already working out regularly, then here’s another reason to do so:

    Exercising for 20-30 minutes three times a week will improve your long-term memory[6].

    Regular physical activities increase blood flow in your body and supplies the brain with extra oxygen and nutrients. A well-nourished brain is a well-functioning brain!

    Even if you don’t have much time, research has shown that a daily burst of 60 seconds of high-intensity exercise offered many of the benefits of the longer exercise routines[7].

    Interested in getting started?

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    Here are five different ways that will help you work out:

    • Join a gym
    • Join a sports team
    • Buy a bike
    • Take up hiking
    • Dance to your favorite music

    7. Eat Healthier Foods

    I’m sure you’ve heard the expression: “You are what you eat.”

    This applies to your brain, too.

    The food that you eat helps determine your brain’s capacity to store and recall information. A poor diet (think junk food + soda!) harms not just your physical health, but your mental health, as well.

    Fortunately, there are several foods that are especially good for your brain and your memory. These include: blueberries, celery, and dark chocolate. But any fruits, vegetables, or foods high in antioxidants will have a positive effect on your brain and memory. Here’re some ideas: 15 Brain Foods That Will Super Boost Your Brain Power

    Conversely, highly-processed foods and those loaded with sugar will have a negative impact on your memory. This is due to them providing insufficient nutrients for your brain, leading you to easily suffer from mental fatigue.

    If you want to improve your mental health, eat and drink an abundance of these for brain health:

    • Turmeric – Helps new brain cells grown
    • Broccoli – Protects the brain against damage
    • Nuts – Improves memory
    • Green tea – Enhances brain performance, memory and focus[8]
    • Fish oilFish oil supplements can increase your brain power

    Here’re more brain food options that improve memory!

    Also, remember that your brain is about 75% water, so dehydration can have a huge effect on the way your brain functions. Stay hydrated if you really want to improve memory!

    Final Thoughts

    I sincerely hope these seven memory boosting ways that I’ve covered in this article will be helpful for you.

    You don’t need to implement them all, but you can try out the ones that appeal to you.

    But, if you’re serious about dramatically improving your memory and avoiding cognitive decline, then make a start right now on adopting one or more of the ways I’ve suggested.

    More on How to Improve Memory

    Featured photo credit: Eric Ward via unsplash.com

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