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Last Updated on December 27, 2020

Why It’s Okay to Hit the Wall and How to Overcome It Fast

Why It’s Okay to Hit the Wall and How to Overcome It Fast

Life is not a straight or smooth path. Roadblocks pop up, and instead of hopping over them, we may find that we hit the wall and lose sight of how to overcome it. However, there are ways to get unstuck in these cases and move forward with your goals.

First, you need to change your way of thinking. The phrase, “Change your thinking, change your life” is a very powerful truth. If you don’t think that your life will get better, then it won’t.

Once you start believing you can change and jump over the wall, you’ll be one very important step closer to getting there.

However, you can’t stop there. While it’s essential to change your thinking first, you also have to change your actions. As the saying goes,

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”

Here are some specifics about how you can improve several different areas of your life when you feel that you’ve hit the wall.

When You Hit the Wall in Your Career

As sad as it is, it seems like most people don’t like their job or career. It’s simply not what they imagined they’d be doing when they were dreaming about the future as a child.

However, nothing is permanent. If you have hit the wall in your career, here are some things you can do.

1. Reflect on Your Talents and Goals

A person’s job doesn’t always match their talents. Sit down and try to analyze what you’re good at—and then try to find a career path to match the gifts that you have to offer the world.

After all, wouldn’t it be nice to actually enjoy what you do for a living and make a difference?

2. Set Your Sights on a Promotion

If you don’t want to change your line of work, then you should think about a promotion. Sometimes people get a little too comfortable in their job. They know how to do it well, so they just keep doing what they’re doing without aiming higher

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Maybe it’s time to challenge yourself by going for a higher position. It will help you grow as a person, and it will probably put more money in your pocket too!

3. Start Looking Into Another Career Path

Many times, people just simply drift into a job or career path accidentally and find they hit the wall several years later. Unless you are one of the lucky ones who knew they wanted to be a doctor, lawyer, police officer, or something else that was definitive, most people just take the first job they can find.

If you’re unhappy with your current career path, start looking for another one.

When You Hit the Wall While Dating

These days, the dating world is very frustrating for most single people. Swiping left, swiping right. Getting ghosted. Failed short-term relationships. It can get depressing and cause you to hit the wall.

However, there is still hope if you try these things.

1. Try Different Ways of Meeting People

Dating apps

and websites are the most popular thing to do these days. It can be a good thing to try, especially if you can’t seem to make time to get out of the house much.

If you don’t find success there, join local groups or ask your friends to set you up. In other words, meet people the old-fashioned way.

2. Learn to Read Red Flags

In order to avoid getting involved with the jerks, flakes, and losers of the world, you have to know how to read the red flags with the people you date. They may not always be obvious, but they’re always there.

From treating the waiter rudely to canceling dates, a person’s behavior tells you everything you need to know about them. Check out these 6 Red Flags To Watch For When You’re Dating Someone.

3. Don’t Give up Hope

It’s easy to think that you’ll be single forever—especially if you haven’t had a lot of success in the dating world lately.

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It may take months, years, or even a couple of decades to get it right, but if you give up when you hit the wall, you will make finding a happy relationship that much more difficult. In the meantime, learn to love yourself and your own company as that will only strengthen any relationship you ultimately build.

When You Hit the Wall in Your Marriage

For many people, marriage is difficult. It involves levels of compromise and communication that many find complicated, but there are ways to make the whole thing easier and more enjoyable for both parties.

If you’ve hit the wall in your marriage, try these things:

1. Communicate!

No one is a mind reader, so you have to speak to each other about your problems.

Tell your spouse why you’re unhappy—but in a very non-critical way. Talk to each other in a way that will help you get to the root of the issues facing you.

You’ll have to work as a team, and not think of each other as “me vs. you.” After talking, decide on actions to take to make the marriage better.

2. Have Empathy

If you get rid of your “competitive” spirit in your marriage, then you will have to have empathy for the other person’s point of view.

A marriage doesn’t go off into a ditch without two people participating, so listen to your spouse’s side of the story, and make a genuine effort to understand where they’re coming from.

3. Seek Help If Needed

If your marriage feels so far gone that you don’t think you can possibly fix it together, then seek the help of a trained professional. You can learn when it’s time to seek counseling here.

A therapist will help you communicate and make an action plan to cooperate and work on your problems together.

When You Hit the Wall As a Parent

Being a parent changes the way you see both the world and yourself. There are days that are amazing and other days when you feel as if you’re doing everything wrong. If you’ve hit the wall with your kids, here are some things to try.

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1. Teach Them Empathy

Sometimes kids act out because they don’t see how their actions are affecting other people. You can teach them how to have empathy for other people—including yourself.

Start as early as possible. It’s easier to teach a toddler than it is a 17 year old. Here’re some effective ways to teach your children empathy.

2. Have and Enforce Rules

If there are no rules in the house, then the atmosphere turns chaotic. Children thrive on structure and routine.

If you don’t have rules, then make some[1]. Once you do this, it’s incredibly important to enforce those rules. This will take some time as everyone adjusts to the new environment and its limits, but it will be worth it once your kids settle in.

This guide on how to discipline a child will help you.

3. Teach Them Consequences

Many people, including adults, don’t understand the consequences of their actions. If your kids think that they can do whatever they want and won’t get punished for it, then it’s your job to show them otherwise.

When You the Wall in Your Personal Finances

Most people have a love-hate relationship with money. They love it when they have it, and they hate it when they don’t. If you’ve hit the wall with your financial situation, here are some tips:

1. Re-evaluate Your Job or Career

As mentioned above, sometimes people settle into a comfort zone with their job or career and don’t think outside the box.

If you are not making enough money, then there are always ways to make more. Re-think what you are doing for a living.

2. Go Back to School

This may sound counter-intuitive as you’ll need to spend more money on school, but getting a degree (or a higher degree) might actually increase your earning potential.

As they say, you have to spend money to make money.

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3. Figure out a Budget

Many people have no idea where their money is going. They live in the moment, and then at the end of the month, they have no idea why they don’t have money in their bank account to pay the next month’s rent. To solve this problem, make a budget and stick to it[2].

These tips can help you keep your personal budget under control.

When You Hit the Wall While Planning for the Future

Life is short, so you might as well have fun and enjoy it while you can! You don’t have to win the lottery to have a good life.

Thinking about the future can be daunting. If you don’t know where your future is going to take you, then it’s time to try these things:

1. Write Down Your 5, 10, and 20-Year Goals

You can’t get somewhere without knowing where you’re going. It’s like sailing a boat on the ocean with no map and hoping the wind will take you to China.

Sit down and visualize where you want to be in 5, 10, or 20 years.

2. Make an Action Plan

Now that you have your long-term goals written down, you need to make a plan of action.

Write down the things you will do every day, month, or year that will accomplish those goals, and then actually take action!

3. Minimize Stress

Stress is inevitable in life. However, some people create unneeded stress for themselves. Whether it’s relationship drama or overspending your paycheck, some of the stress is within your control, so minimize stress when and where you can.

Final Thoughts

If you feel like you’ve hit a wall in any of these categories, don’t give up. You can change your life for the better through consistent effort and an action plan.

Everyone hits a wall or two now and again. If you use some of these tips, your life will start to improve, and you will be happier in no time.

Featured photo credit: Joseph Rosales via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

11 Positive Thoughts for Your Everyday Motivation

11 Positive Thoughts for Your Everyday Motivation

The power of positive thoughts cannot be denied, even though sometimes it can seem a little like a cliché when you hear people talking about it. Well, I’m here to tell you that cliché or not, the mental and physical benefits of thinking positively are a proven way to give you more confidence, improve your self-esteem, give you motivation, and generally put you in a better mood. Thinking of at least one positive thought every day can have significant benefits for you.

Some scientific studies even suggest that thinking positively can reduce the likelihood of health conditions, like depression, hypertension, and a variety of other stress-related disorders.

This sounds amazing, but what does it really mean to think positively?

Positive thinking isn’t about finding your inner smile. Many people rarely have what they would consider joyous inner thoughts but that doesn’t mean they can’t be content with themselves and their life.

Positive thinking (thinking of positive thoughts every day) is more about finding the positive imagery in your life and viewing things through more optimistic eyes, especially if you’ve got yourself into a rut of seeing things negatively.

The biggest problem with positive thoughts is that they wear off quickly and things like rejection, negative experiences, setbacks, and heartbreak can soon put you into a downward spiral that gets you back into that negative funk you hate.

And, let’s be honest, being in a negative funk is a sure-fire way to strip your motivation and leave you unable to perform at the levels you know you can. If you’re looking for an instant way to boost your motivation, join the free Fast-Track Class – Activate Your Motivation. It’s a free intensive session that can help you identify your inner drive and build a sustinable motivation engine. You can sign up for the free session here.

So, how do you keep yourself positive in a world that seems hell-bent on bringing you down? Well, with the right routine of positive thoughts you can ensure that you wake up every day feeling motivated and looking forward to everything life has to throw at you.

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Here are some tips so you can start thinking of positive thoughts every day.

1. Be Thankful You Woke up This Morning

Not to start on a morbid note, but you woke up this morning. Some people didn’t. Don’t think of it is as a depressing morality tale, just use it to remember that you’ve won the greatest gift life has to offer – you’re alive.

It’s so easy to dwell on the negative aspects of our lives, but we always seem to miss the most obvious positive thing we have – life itself. Take a deep breath, look outside your window, and marvel at the world around you.

2. You Don’t Have to Listen to Haters

There’s no doubt that some people are really mean-spirited individuals who will love to ruin your day. Well, I’m here to tell you they can’t. Not if you don’t let them.

Ignore the haters. Dismiss their bile for what it is – vicious comments of unfulfilled people. Remind yourself that you are above them and nothing they say will bring you down.

3. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

I know, I know. It’s easy to say, “Don’t compare yourself with anybody else.” But at the end of the day, we all have envious thoughts when we see somebody we perceive to be more successful than we are.

But think about it, are they really better than you and even if they are, does it even matter? By spending time being jealous you are wasting time on negative thoughts that could be spent pursuing something that makes you happy.

4. You Must Take a Chance

It’s easy to shy away from something that is high risk and high reward out of fear of being labeled a loser.

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Have you ever noticed that doing so actually makes you feel worse than if you’d just taken the risk in the first place? We know that rejection feels bad and failure can weigh heavily, but regret is a far stronger emotion over time.

Don’t hesitate if you have the chance. Go for it and tell yourself that if you fail, it’s no big deal. At least you tried.

Perhaps the perfect example of this approach is David Goggins. We all have a lot to learn from the inspirational David Goggins story and his priceless sayings.[1]

Goggins, considered by many to be ‘the toughest man alive’, is a retired Navy SEAL and the only person ever to complete SEAL training, the U.S. Army Ranger School, and Air Force Tactical Air Controller training. He’s also one of the world’s top endurance athletes and held the Guinness World Record for pull-ups, completing 4,030 in 17 hours.

He sounds like a ‘naturally gifted badass person’ right? But in his book, he reveals that he was actually ‘The weakest man in the world’, in his own words.

Overcoming obesity, poverty, racism, learning disabilities, abusive violent father, he came through the other side, inspiring people to embrace suffering and struggle, to find their greatness and inner peace. He took the slim chances he had and changed his life completely.

5. Accept That Things End

Even the best things in life end eventually, so don’t worry about them. Don’t fret about how the good times are about to stop, just enjoy them while they last. And when they do finally end, be happy in the knowledge that something else just as good will come along.

6. Don’t Judge Others

This ties in with point number 2 above – you won’t like it if others judge you so don’t judge them. We know it can be difficult to refrain from labeling other people, but doing so is a sure-fire way to start descending into a negative thought spiral.

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We all live in a world where passing judgment is tolerated, but not only is accepting people a great way to make others feel better, it’s also a fantastic way to foster positive thoughts within ourselves.

7. Don’t do Things for Others That Make You Unhappy

We all want to make other people happy, right? But what if the things that other people want us to do makes us unhappy?

If you’re doing something just for the satisfaction of others, don’t. Stop it right now. Your happiness and your time should never be sacrificed for the satisfaction of someone else. You won’t be able to think of positive thoughts every day if you are unhappy in the first place.

8. Don’t Like Your Job? Then Quit.

Okay, that’s a little dramatic, but nothing is more certain to drain your happiness levels quicker than a job that you hate. If you spend your evenings and days off dreading returning to the office, then start to do something about it.

We’re not talking about jeopardizing your livelihood by quitting (although the dramatic heading for this point certainly suggests so). What we mean is start to make plans and formulize an exit strategy. Nothing promotes positive thoughts more than a plan that removes something negative from your life.

Start simple by saving up funds to make the change and circulating your CV. The first step may seem difficult, but the sense of relief it gives will improve your thought patterns immeasurably.

It might be scary to start over at someplace new and going through a screening process that might be tedious, but once you understand that selling yourself can be easier than you think, you are halfway through.[2]

9. Take Control of Your Mornings

How you begin the day will set the tone for how the rest of it will go. Getting up in a panicked state is a very efficient way to kick start a negative emotional spiral. Get up bright and early, and give yourself time to prepare for the day.

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Though some of the mind-boggling thoughts you are having when waking up can be positive for you and even mean more than you imagine, it’s better to set up a fixed positive mental routine.

Think about the positive aspects of your life and tell yourself things like, “Today is going to be a good day” or “I’ll be amazing today.” Yeah, I know this sounds cheesy, but positive words instill positive thoughts.

10. Focus on the Good Things in Your Life No Matter How Small

You’re going to hit obstacles during the day. Things don’t generally run perfectly all the time. The trick is that when you encounter a challenge, don’t dwell on it and choose to focus on the positives you can find no matter how small they may seem.

If you get stuck in a traffic jam, don’t fret about how it is slowing you down. Take positivity in the fact that you have extra time to listen to the radio station you have been enjoying. If you head to your local store and it’s out of the ingredients you need for your dinner party, buy something else and create a different food masterpiece.

Focussing on good things is a great way to gain positive momentum in your life. The huge power of momentum is that even a series of very small things can accumulate to massive results – with the aid of momentum.

11. Look at the Funny Side

Even dark situations can have a humorous side if you look at them the right way. When in a dark or trying situation, remind yourself that what is happening to you will probably make a great story in the future and may even be passed on as a joke. Look for the funny side and laugh.

Final Thoughts

We all know that positive thoughts can be incredibly motivational but in modern life, it can be difficult to stay uplifted when the world around you seems determined to bring you down. By following some of the tips in our guide above, you could harness the power of positive thinking and find yourself starting every day motivated. So, start thinking of positive thoughts every day!

More Tips to Start Thinking of Positive Thoughts Every Day

Featured photo credit: Jacob Townsend via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Vision, Belief, Change: Best David Goggins Quotes
[2] Vision, Belief, Change: Is Selling Yourself Easier Than You Thought?

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