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One Great Question is Worth More Than a Hundred Answers

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One Great Question is Worth More Than a Hundred Answers

A great question can change the world. Questions like the one Einstein asked himself, “What would you see if you were traveling on a beam of light?” In The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future, Kevin Kelly writes, “Questioning is more powerful than answering.” He discusses how the technologies that generate questions will be more valued in the future than the technologies that generate answers. He comments,

“At the end of the day, a world of super smart ubiquitous answers encourage a quest for the perfect question. What makes a perfect question? Ironically, the best questions are not questions that lead to answers, because answers are on their way to becoming cheap and plentiful. A good question is worth a million good answers.”

I wholeheartedly agree with Kelly. So, what makes a great question? Let’s look at a list from Kelly.

Good questions are not concerned with a correct answer

For each discussion, I created metaphors to further our understanding of what makes a good question.

Metaphor: Answers are buried deep within our mind. While we might not find the right answer we are looking for, we will find better questions the deeper we dig.

Metaphor: Our mind is like a large building with a long winding corridor, where the corridor is like a series of questions within our mind. Each room along the corridor serves as a gap between our thoughts and questions. Where each room possesses either an answer or another question.

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A good question cannot be answered immediately

“Over time, the cloud, the machine, or AI will learn to articulate what is known and not known. While the answer machine can expand answers infinitely, our time to form the next question is very limited.” – Kevin Kelly

Metaphor: Unknown answers are like trees planted in our mind, where ideas are the branches and questions are the seeds of growth. The better the seed, the increased likelihood of ideas branching off one another.

Metaphor: Just as trees require time for growth, so do great questions. Yet, you must first plant the seed.

A good question challenges existing answers

Metaphor: A great question is like a rock, where existing answers are like a glass window. Innovation and new answers emerge by shattering the glass window with a rock.

Metaphor: An existing answer is like religion, where a great question is challenging the existing answer. We must challenge our current view of religion in order to seek an undivided answer.

A good question is one you badly want answered after you hear it, yet previously did not care

Metaphor: A great question is like following a white rabbit down a rabbit hole, where the question is the hole itself. You had no previous awareness of the existence of the hole, yet the further you fall, the greater your desire for an answer.

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Metaphor: Imagine seeing a door all your life, yet you have never opened the door because it lacked a door knob. A great question is like a door knob appearing out of thin air. By opening the door, you are made aware of an entirely new reality. You notice yet another door as you walk through it. However, it also lacks a door knob.

A good question is a probe, a what-if scenario

Metaphor: Life is like space, where we do not know exactly what is out there. Probing what-if questions are like a shuttle that carries us further into the unknown.

Metaphor: A great question is like an ocean. An ocean has a deepest part. Therefore, a question has a deepest part.

A good question is one that generates many other good questions

Metaphor: A great question is like a library full of books, where each book leads to even more great questions.

Metaphor: A great question is like the number Pi. Where Pi cannot be expressed as a common fraction (or an answer). Just as the digits of Pi can go on and on with no pattern, questions can generate a never-ending series of new questions.

A good question cannot be predicted

Metaphor: We cannot predict great questions. Just as Google cannot predict exactly what you will be doing, thinking, and feeling twenty years from now.

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Metaphor: Just as we cannot predict our next thought by asking what our next thought will be – we cannot predict great questions. If we could, they would be an answer, not a question.

A good question will be the sign of an educated mind

Metaphor: A fish swimming in clear water is like the mind of a child, where the clear water is like great questions uncluttered by answers. The mind of a child is like an educated mind.

Metaphor: A fish swimming in dirty water is like the mind of an adult, where the dirty water is like previous answers preventing questions from being asked. The adult mind is like an uneducated mind – a mind with the perception that it has all the answers.

A good question reframes its own answers

Metaphor: A great question is like the birth of a child. The birth does not reveal an answer, yet it does reveal something better… more fascinating questions.

Metaphor: A great question is like the pause between musical notes.

A good question might be the last job a machine will learn to do

“A good question is what humans are for.” – Kevin Kelly

Instead of using a metaphor here, let’s discuss a book by Douglas Adams called The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. To prevent massive spoilers, I will only use an example from Adams first book in the series.

In the book, the number 42 is revealed to be the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything calculated by a gigantic supercomputer named Deep Thought. The answer was generated over a period of 7.5 million years to compute and check the answer. The computer responded that the answer seemed meaningless because the beings who instructed it never knew what the question was. The same beings then asked Deep Thought to produce the ultimate question, for which the supercomputer said it could not. However, Deep Thought said it would help design an even more powerful computer that can.

Finally, let me leave you with one last question. This is my great question and it fascinates me.

“What would you see if you could shine a light on the gap between your thoughts?” – Dr. Jamie Schwandt

Featured photo credit: unsplash via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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