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You Don’t Have To Be Perfect, You Can Be Good

You Don’t Have To Be Perfect, You Can Be Good

Life is stressful. We have to keep up with work, school, friends, and family, not to mention washing dishes, cleaning the house, and cooking meals. Every day, we face so much pressure from outside influences, particularly the media, to be perfect that it often feels like we just don’t measure up. We let ourselves believe that if we just achieve a certain look or a certain lifestyle, we will somehow be happier, more accepted by friends, and more loved by others.

If you’re like me, you don’t look like the model in the magazine. Or maybe you’re feeling less than perfect because you didn’t get the best grade in class; your neighbor has a newer car than you; your best friend just got an amazing job, or everyone around you is getting engaged and starting families.

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I’m here to tell you that perfection doesn’t matter. You won’t always fit into your favorite jeans, land your dream job, find the love of your life at a young age, or have the highest grade. And all of that is okay. Sometimes, it’s okay to just be good.

Stress, Anxiety, and Being Perfect

Meeting the expectations of being perfect is nearly impossible. Trying to live up to the version of perfect that you or somebody else has created can leave you feeling more stressed, depressed, and ready to throw in the towel. Nobody wants to feel like they aren’t enough. Nobody wants to feel like a failure. This kind of stress and anxiety works its way into other areas of your life and can manifest itself as arguments with your loved ones, unexpected tears, and general unhappiness. When you feel that way, it’s okay to admit it. Recognize it, but remember that these problems are rooted in your quest to be perfect.

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Accepting Your Imperfection

As previously mentioned, our lives are already stressful with long hours at the office, not enough sleep the night before, bills to pay, and household chores. These problems are multiplied when you’re also faced with impossible-to-meet expectations. Stop pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion because you’re worried about what other people might think. You are not perfect, and you don’t have to be.

The next step is accepting your imperfection. Take a deep breath, relax, and start focusing on what is good in your life. Being good is enough; don’t worry about being anything more than that. As Maya Angelou said, “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”[1]

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Perfect Won’t Make You Happier

Stop searching for perfection in what you don’t have. Fitting into those jeans, driving a new car, getting a promotion… These things will not make you happier. Why? Because once you have them, you’ll want more. There will always be something else in your life that isn’t quite perfect. Something more to work on or to improve. Achieving these social expectations is not evidence of your self-worth.

Criticize Yourself Less Often

Again, you do not have to be perfect. Being good, being you, and accepting the not perfect version of yourself is enough. Criticize yourself less often and stop comparing your life to others. To do this, try thinking about what in your life makes you happy now. Every morning, think of something good from the day before.

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Don’t give up your struggle to be a better you, but do give up the idea that you should somehow be perfect. Be realistic in the goals you set for yourself. Remember, nobody is perfect. Love that about yourself. It’s what makes you unique from the rest of the world.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pixabay.com

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Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on March 5, 2021

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

I talk a lot to myself. It helps me to keep my concentration on the activity on hand, makes me focus more on my studies, and gives me some pretty brilliant ideas while chattering to myself; more importantly, I produce better works. For example, right now, as I am typing, I am constantly mumbling to myself. Do you talk to yourself? Don’t get embarrassed admitting it because science has discovered that those who talk to themselves are actually geniuses… and not crazy!

Research Background

Psychologist-researcher Gary Lupyan conducted an experiment where 20 volunteers were shown objects, in a supermarket, and were asked to remember them. Half of them were told to repeat the objects, for example, banana, and the other half remained silent. In the end, the result shown that self-directed speech aided people to find the objects faster, by 50 to 100 milliseconds, compared to the silent ones.

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“I’ll often mutter to myself when searching for something in the refrigerator or the supermarket shelves,” said Gary Lupyan.

This personal experience actually made him conduct this experiment. Lupyan, together with another psychologist, Daniel Swigley, came up with the outcomes that those to talk to oneself are geniuses. Here are the reasons:

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It stimulates your memory

When you are talking to yourself, your sensory mechanism gets activated. It gets easier on your memory since you can visualize the word, and you can act accordingly.[1]

It helps stay focused

When you are saying it loud, you stay focused on your task,[2] and it helps you recognise that stuff immediately. Of course, this only helps if you know what the object you are searching looks like. For example, a banana is yellow in colour, and you know how a banana looks like. So when you are saying it loud, your brain immediately pictures the image on your mind. But if you don’t know what banana looks like, then there is no effect of saying it loud.

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It helps you clarify your thoughts

Every one of us tends to have various types of thoughts. Most make sense, while the others don’t. Suppose you are furious at someone and you feel like killing that person. Now for this issue you won’t run to a therapist, will you? No, what you do is lock yourself in a room and mutter to yourself. You are letting go off the anger by talking to yourself, the pros and cons of killing that person, and eventually you calm down. This is a silly thought that you have and are unable to share it with any other person. Psychologist Linda Sapadin said,[3]

“It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you are contemplating.”

Featured photo credit: Girl Using Laptop In Hotel Room/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Reference

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