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You Don’t Have To Be Perfect, You Can Be Good

You Don’t Have To Be Perfect, You Can Be Good

Life is stressful. We have to keep up with work, school, friends, and family, not to mention washing dishes, cleaning the house, and cooking meals. Every day, we face so much pressure from outside influences, particularly the media, to be perfect that it often feels like we just don’t measure up. We let ourselves believe that if we just achieve a certain look or a certain lifestyle, we will somehow be happier, more accepted by friends, and more loved by others.

If you’re like me, you don’t look like the model in the magazine. Or maybe you’re feeling less than perfect because you didn’t get the best grade in class; your neighbor has a newer car than you; your best friend just got an amazing job, or everyone around you is getting engaged and starting families.

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I’m here to tell you that perfection doesn’t matter. You won’t always fit into your favorite jeans, land your dream job, find the love of your life at a young age, or have the highest grade. And all of that is okay. Sometimes, it’s okay to just be good.

Stress, Anxiety, and Being Perfect

Meeting the expectations of being perfect is nearly impossible. Trying to live up to the version of perfect that you or somebody else has created can leave you feeling more stressed, depressed, and ready to throw in the towel. Nobody wants to feel like they aren’t enough. Nobody wants to feel like a failure. This kind of stress and anxiety works its way into other areas of your life and can manifest itself as arguments with your loved ones, unexpected tears, and general unhappiness. When you feel that way, it’s okay to admit it. Recognize it, but remember that these problems are rooted in your quest to be perfect.

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Accepting Your Imperfection

As previously mentioned, our lives are already stressful with long hours at the office, not enough sleep the night before, bills to pay, and household chores. These problems are multiplied when you’re also faced with impossible-to-meet expectations. Stop pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion because you’re worried about what other people might think. You are not perfect, and you don’t have to be.

The next step is accepting your imperfection. Take a deep breath, relax, and start focusing on what is good in your life. Being good is enough; don’t worry about being anything more than that. As Maya Angelou said, “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”[1]

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Perfect Won’t Make You Happier

Stop searching for perfection in what you don’t have. Fitting into those jeans, driving a new car, getting a promotion… These things will not make you happier. Why? Because once you have them, you’ll want more. There will always be something else in your life that isn’t quite perfect. Something more to work on or to improve. Achieving these social expectations is not evidence of your self-worth.

Criticize Yourself Less Often

Again, you do not have to be perfect. Being good, being you, and accepting the not perfect version of yourself is enough. Criticize yourself less often and stop comparing your life to others. To do this, try thinking about what in your life makes you happy now. Every morning, think of something good from the day before.

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Don’t give up your struggle to be a better you, but do give up the idea that you should somehow be perfect. Be realistic in the goals you set for yourself. Remember, nobody is perfect. Love that about yourself. It’s what makes you unique from the rest of the world.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pixabay.com

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Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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