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You Don’t Have To Be Perfect, You Can Be Good

You Don’t Have To Be Perfect, You Can Be Good

Life is stressful. We have to keep up with work, school, friends, and family, not to mention washing dishes, cleaning the house, and cooking meals. Every day, we face so much pressure from outside influences, particularly the media, to be perfect that it often feels like we just don’t measure up. We let ourselves believe that if we just achieve a certain look or a certain lifestyle, we will somehow be happier, more accepted by friends, and more loved by others.

If you’re like me, you don’t look like the model in the magazine. Or maybe you’re feeling less than perfect because you didn’t get the best grade in class; your neighbor has a newer car than you; your best friend just got an amazing job, or everyone around you is getting engaged and starting families.

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I’m here to tell you that perfection doesn’t matter. You won’t always fit into your favorite jeans, land your dream job, find the love of your life at a young age, or have the highest grade. And all of that is okay. Sometimes, it’s okay to just be good.

Stress, Anxiety, and Being Perfect

Meeting the expectations of being perfect is nearly impossible. Trying to live up to the version of perfect that you or somebody else has created can leave you feeling more stressed, depressed, and ready to throw in the towel. Nobody wants to feel like they aren’t enough. Nobody wants to feel like a failure. This kind of stress and anxiety works its way into other areas of your life and can manifest itself as arguments with your loved ones, unexpected tears, and general unhappiness. When you feel that way, it’s okay to admit it. Recognize it, but remember that these problems are rooted in your quest to be perfect.

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Accepting Your Imperfection

As previously mentioned, our lives are already stressful with long hours at the office, not enough sleep the night before, bills to pay, and household chores. These problems are multiplied when you’re also faced with impossible-to-meet expectations. Stop pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion because you’re worried about what other people might think. You are not perfect, and you don’t have to be.

The next step is accepting your imperfection. Take a deep breath, relax, and start focusing on what is good in your life. Being good is enough; don’t worry about being anything more than that. As Maya Angelou said, “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”[1]

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Perfect Won’t Make You Happier

Stop searching for perfection in what you don’t have. Fitting into those jeans, driving a new car, getting a promotion… These things will not make you happier. Why? Because once you have them, you’ll want more. There will always be something else in your life that isn’t quite perfect. Something more to work on or to improve. Achieving these social expectations is not evidence of your self-worth.

Criticize Yourself Less Often

Again, you do not have to be perfect. Being good, being you, and accepting the not perfect version of yourself is enough. Criticize yourself less often and stop comparing your life to others. To do this, try thinking about what in your life makes you happy now. Every morning, think of something good from the day before.

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Don’t give up your struggle to be a better you, but do give up the idea that you should somehow be perfect. Be realistic in the goals you set for yourself. Remember, nobody is perfect. Love that about yourself. It’s what makes you unique from the rest of the world.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pixabay.com

Reference

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Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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