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You Will Create Space For Something Better When You Learn To Truly Let Go

You Will Create Space For Something Better When You Learn To Truly Let Go

Sometimes, we go through life making the same mistakes over and over again. We know something isn’t good for us, but we want it anyway. Maybe it’s that extra piece of chocolate cake every single day after dinner. But that’s easy to identify as unhealthy. What about the other things we’re constantly drawn to even though it’s a mistake? Like bad relationships.

As with most things in life, it’s important to learn to let go if you’re going to move on with your life. Letting go helps you create space for something better.

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“No woman could love a cheater and not pay the price for it.” – Rose Wynters

Do you notice a pattern in most of your past relationships? Have most of romantic relationships ended when you discovered infidelity? Why do you continue to be attracted to the same kinds of partners? Well, for starters, we tend to seek out people that feel familiar to us when building new relationships.

Additionally, you might have some unresolved issues from your past. As Rachel Astarte puts it, “in your pattern of connecting to men [or women] with the same troublesome behavior (infidelity), there is an unconscious desire to replay the scenario from your past that didn’t go well (perhaps an unreliable parent who was not “faithful” to your need to be nurtured as a child).”[1]

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You are likely to continue repeating this pattern unless you take a step back. Ask yourself what went wrong in your past that makes you feel like something is missing from your life now. Once you identify your unresolved feelings, you’ll be able to let go of them. Letting go allows you to make space in your life for a more caring and respectful partner.

“Remember that sometimes, not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” – Dalai Lama

In some cases, we just can’t seem to get over our ex. Suddenly everything reminds you of them and before you realize it, you’re missing them. Thinking of them every second of every day and forgetting all the reasons you broke up in the first place. This makes letting go of the breakup and moving on even more difficult.

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Scientific research has stepped up to explain this issue and it has to do with neurochemical changes in your brain. According to this research, your brain goes through withdrawals after you break up with someone in the same way that an addict craves drugs. The ventral segmental area of the brain, which is responsible for rewards and motivations by producing dopamine, is activated during a breakup.[2]

Look to your friends and family if you’re having a hard time getting over your ex. Spending time with loved ones can help boost natural opioid production in your brain, making you feel better. Remember, this whole process is helping you learn more about yourself so you can move on to finding your true soul mate.

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“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” – Paulo Coelho

While sometimes it seems like breaking up is about only about healing and moving forward, it’s about so much more. Seize this opportunity to learn about yourself, to understand the root of your relationship’s problems, and to practice self-love. It’s similar to getting over a physical injury. Injuries always have a root cause. Figure out the root cause so you can prevent it from happening in the future.[3] Learn to let go, love yourself, and create space for a better future.

None of this is easy. But, you’re taking the right steps just by reading this. Unlearn everything you thought you knew about romantic relationships, breakups, and what’s right and wrong. Not every relationship is meant to be forever, except the one you have with yourself. Embrace that truth as you move forward, creating space in your life to allow better things to come along.

Featured photo credit: Nikolaj Erema via pexels.com

Reference

More by this author

Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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