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Why We Lose Motivation Once in a While and How to Fix It Forever

Why We Lose Motivation Once in a While and How to Fix It Forever

How often do you get started on a project, full of enthusiasm, then slowly feel yourself losing motivation?

The work that you used to look forward to starts to feel like a chore.

You wonder why you’re even bothering.

You might give up on the project all together.

Perhaps you take a new job that’s full of challenges, but quickly lose interest and hand in your notice?

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Maybe you start taking up a hobby you’ve always wanted to do, but quit after a couple of weeks?

If you’re struggling with motivation, you’re not alone.

Read on to find out why you’re not motivated, and what you can do to fix it.

Don’t rely on quick fixes to get motivated.

There is a way to get your motivation back – for good.

We’re talking about long-term fixes, not short-term remedies like taking a break, listening to motivational songs, or downing energy drinks. While these strategies might work for a while, they’re nowhere near as effective as finding long-lasting motivation.

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Do you want to struggle through each project, gritting your teeth and forcing yourself to get the work done? Or would you rather tap into endless motivation that doesn’t feel like a huge effort?

If you truly want to learn how to stay motivated, you need to understand what drives you – and what you really don’t care about.

Read on to find out how.

Maybe you experience some common symptoms of lost motivation too.

Wondering if your motivation has taken a hit lately? See if any of these common symptoms sound familiar.

Being bored with your routine.

Tired of doing the same old thing, day in, day out? Sick of your job, or your big project, or your schoolwork? Looking for ways to avoid what you’re meant to be doing? Feeling sick and tired of whatever you’re doing is a sign that your motivation is dwindling.

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Feeling like you can’t make a difference.

Maybe you started on a project full of hope and enthusiasm, looking forward to changing the world with your contributions. If that feeling has left you, and you feel like what you’re doing is pointless of meaningless, it’s time to act.

Not being satisfied with what you’ve done.

Are you a perfectionist? Trying to be perfect is a common cause of motivation loss, because it just isn’t possible. Many of us are afraid to try new things or complete projects, thinking, “Why bother? I know it won’t be good enough.” Instead, we should focus on trying our best.

Feeling stressed about what you’re doing.

Do you regularly feel stressed and overwhelmed by your workload? When your work is causing you worry, you’re more likely to avoid it, which creates a vicious cycle or stress and motivation loss.

Comparing yourself to others.

“We’re the same age, but he’s so much more successful than me.” This kind of comparison is a quick way to destroy your motivation for whatever you’re doing. Stop trying to be better than others, and focus on being the best version of yourself instead.

Little do we know that there’re three hidden motivation killers.

Lacking purpose

If you don’t care about what you’re doing, you won’t be motivated. Fact. Find meaning in what you’re doing, or change your focus to something you do care about.

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Setting unrealistic targets

Setting impossibly high goals and failing to reach them will make you want to give up, fast. Instead, set achievable targets and enjoy the satisfaction of achieving many small goals – they’ll soon add up.

Trying to please everyone

It’s impossible to make everyone happy all the time. Focus on your purpose, and do what you think is right – don’t try to change yourself to appeal to others.

Here’s how to stay motivated 100% of the time.

Ready to learn the secret to staying motivated for the rest of your life?

Here’s what you need to do, in four simple steps.

  1. Identify a clear purpose. Make it something you really, truly care about.
  2. Set measurable, achievable goals. Set yourself up to succeed with clear goals that you know you can meet.
  3. Be ambitious. Don’t set goals too low – have faith in yourself and what you can achieve.
  4. Think beyond yourself. Motivation only lasts so long when we’re focused solely on ourselves. Think about how your mission will help others, and you’ll tap into a new well of motivation. This is how Elon Must maintain his endless motivation – he believes he has a responsibility to the human race.[1]

Got a job you hate, and feel like these steps don’t apply? It’s been shown that the desire to provide for others, like your family or partner, can boost motivation even when you don’t find meaning in your job. [2]

Find a purpose that you truly believe in, and you’ll never struggle with motivation again.

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

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Eloise Best

Content Writer

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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