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Why Do We All Feel Empty Sometimes

Why Do We All Feel Empty Sometimes

Let’s imagine the situation when you struggle with ignoring and escaping the feeling of extreme purposelessness and emptiness. Although you know a little about what you enjoy, want from life and what you want to achieve in future, you are still tortured by the episodes of loneliness. When you say, I feel empty, what does this mean exactly?

Inner emptiness is caused by a lack of love.

According to Dr. Margaret Paul, the inner emptiness is a state of mind that is caused by lack of love. When you don’t love yourself, ignore your feelings and always try to get attention and approval from others you can experience the inner emptiness.

All people are creative and full of potential, but not all of them use this potential and thus waste their time and energy. Then we try to fill the void with food, relationships, work, and things that are supposed to distract our attention.

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Understanding emptiness calls us to learn more about our inner feelings.

In order to find the solution to the problem, we should learn how to tell whether we’re feeling empty inside. Let’s have a look at the most common symptoms of emptiness and void:

  • You don’t understand who you are and your purpose in life;
  • You are full of negative thoughts;
  • You always seek for approval from family and friends;
  • You don’t know how to explain your feelings.

Sometimes emptiness feels like an inner void, vacuum or a black hole.

The most important thing to realize is that emptiness is a state of lack. I will tip you off to the fact that majority of people who struggle with a chronic sense of emptiness had parents who were incapable of intimate relationships with them. When you do not get enough love and attention in the childhood you start to believe that you are not good enough. That means that the real cause of inner emptiness is a lack of emotional connection and demonstration of love.[1]

As a result, this feeling can travel through our lives like baggage. The lack of belonging becomes a traumatic imprint that becomes so acutely uncomfortable that we are willing to do anything we can to get away from that particular feeling.

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The feeling of emptiness can lead to depression.

Although this feeling is not uncommon for many people, if left unattended, it can result in a chronic disorder such as depression. Furthermore, people tend to get out of this feeling with alcohol and drugs, which increases the chance of drug or alcohol addiction. That’s why having a clue about what is really important to you will help to know what causes you to feel empty inside.

The key is fighting emptiness is to find out what you are missing.

Is it a sense of belonging, meaning or interpersonal connection? Here are several suggestions from leading experts of how to recognize and deal with inner emptiness.

1. Refocus and rebalance yourself.

According to Kaitlyn Slight, a marriage and family therapist in Raleigh, N.C., we should focus on ourselves and spend more time thinking about our desires.[2]

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In order to be in a positive state of body and mind, you can spend several minutes meditating or exercising.

The easiest way to rebalance yourself emotionally and physically is to take a warm bath.[3] Many researches have shown that bathing has a lot of benefits including pain relief, enhanced mobility, and improved psychological well-being.[4]

2. Find your needs with the help of others.

Everybody has needs, but what makes the needs painful is when we think we cannot get what we need. We think that we have to meet them by ourselves, but sometimes it is important to take action to get up and find someone to meet the need. Asking for help can resolve many life issues and can be a first step towards meeting your needs. For example, if your need is for the company you don’t have to spend your time to figure out how to be your own company. Just go find a company.

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3. Appreciate and treasure what you have.

Another way to heal your inner emptiness is through gratitude. The research suggests that feeling grateful is a very important positive emotion that allows people to expand their worldview and the view of themselves, which later leads to building better social relations and skills.[5]

This means that individuals who are thankful are also more satisfied with their relationships with friends and family as well as they are less stressed and much happier. Try to be appreciative for what is around you by noticing all good things we take for granted. A simple compliment given during the day will show you how much positive energy you can create.

4. Never stop exploring something new.

Neurobiologists have found out that learning something new has motivational effects similar to dopamine which leads to the emotional arousal.[6] That’s why each time you review the information you’ve learned before, add a couple of new facts. Another good tip is to change your environment. Even such little things as changing lighting or temperature in your room can have a positive effect on your emotional state.

5. Ask for a professional help if needed.

Many people cannot identify the reason behind this feeling no matter how long they psychoanalyzed themselves and searched for a problem. The main thing is not to give up and find a good therapist who will help you to find the causations of the inner void from the past and bring them to the present moment so that you can become whole again.

Finding the cause of inner emptiness can be a challenging and long process. But instead of distracting yourself by filling this emptiness with things like shopping, food, alcohol and drugs, you’d better find out what makes you feel incomplete and regain your happiness.

Reference

More by this author

Melissa Burns

Entrepreneur

Wealthy, Successful People Who Choose Less over More: 10 Real-Life Stories of Minimalists If You Want to Succeed in Life, You Need to Find Your True Calling First Why Do We All Feel Empty Sometimes Everything We Can Learn from the Most Famous Entrepreneurs Around the World YouTube Blogger 4 Pillars of Becoming a Successful YouTube Blogger

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Last Updated on May 7, 2019

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Work in any competitive field long enough, and you’re bound to run into a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s a powerful image. A shepherd watches over his flock to protect them from harm. He’d chase away any predator that tried to make its way into the flock. A clever wolf wearing the skin of a sheep as a disguise can sneak by the vigilant shepherd and get into the herd undetected.

The story isn’t just a colorful description–it’s a warning to all of us to beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They may seem innocent, but they have ulterior motives. They’ll use different tactics to camouflage their intentions.

The person who is kind to you, but undercuts you when you aren’t around is a wolf in disguise. A wolf in sheep’s clothing might pick your brain for ideas and then pass them off as their own to get a promotion. They’re always looking out for themselves at the expense of everyone around them.

Wearing a Disguise Has Its Advantages

People don’t go out of their way to manipulate others unless they’re getting something out of it. Hiding their intentions gives wolves the chance to manipulate other people to advance their own agenda. They know that what they’re trying to do wouldn’t be popular, or it might cause struggle if they presented themselves honestly.

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    They’ll be able to do what they want with less interference if they put on an act. By the time people figure out their true motives, the wolf has what it wants.

    Signs That Someone Is a Wolf in Disguise

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        1. They live to take power instead of empowering others. A wolf uses people as stepping stones to get the things that they want. They don’t care what happens to anyone else.[1] A wolf at work might make you look bad during a presentation to make themselves look amazing in front of the boss.
        2. Wolves seem sweet on the outside, but they’ll show you their teeth. If wolves revealed their true identity, people wouldn’t associate with them. They develop a friendly or kind persona, but they can’t keep up the act 24/7. Eventually, they’ll reveal their aggressive tendencies. A wealthy person who likes to break the law may make sizable charitable donations to convince people that they are kind and thoughtful. These donations largely keep them out of trouble, but if someone calls them out, they destroy that person’s reputation to stifle the criticism.
        3. They manipulate through emotions to get what they want. Wolves know that they can get ahead by appealing to your emotions. They find out what you want and need, and they give you just enough to keep you quiet and compliant. Imagine that your boss is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you want to ask for a vacation. She might try to play on your guilt and feelings of insecurity to get you to skip vacation or take fewer days off.
        4. A wolf will charm you first. Wolves are experts at manipulating the people around them. They appear interested in whatever you’re doing, and you’ll get the impression that they care. After they get you where they want you, they do just enough to keep you on the hook. This is the coworker who may start out being your friend, but they end up dumping responsibility onto you. When they see that you are growing frustrated, they’ll surprise you with something to charm you some more. Then, they’ll continue to do whatever they want.
        5. Their stories are full of holes.  Calling a wolf out is the surest way to make them squirm. When this person tries to come up with a story, it won’t make much sense because they are improvising.[2] The classic example of this is the significant other that you suspect has cheated on you. When you ask them why they came home so late, they’ll either become upset with you, or they’ll make up a weak explanation.

        How to Spot a Wolf

          Know What’s Real So You Can Spot the Phony

          Do some homework so that you have as much of the story as possible before you work with them. Research how they respond in certain situations, or give them hypothetical problems to see how they respond.

          A job applicant might tell you that she’s always positive and thinks of herself as a team-player. That’s what every employer wants to hear. During the interview you ask applicants to work in groups to solve a problem to see how they handle the situation. The applicant “positive team-player” is bossy and negative. You’ve spotted the wolf.

          A wolf will tell you something that ultimately benefits them. Gather evidence that proves or disproves their position, and see what happens. Chances are, when you choose the side that supports their agenda, they’ll act like your best friend. If you disagree, they’ll become aggressive.

          Spotting a potential wolf–especially if you are one of the sheep–can present you with some challenges. If your gut tells you that a wolf is lurking among all the other sheep, pay attention, and make sure you take the next step.

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          Ask Questions, the More the Better

          There’s nothing wrong with asking questions to uncover the truth. The safety of everyone in your group is at risk. Since wolves often make up stories, you may be able to call them out when their tales lack details.

          When they state an opinion, ask “Why do you think that?” or “How do you know it’s like that?” They’ll have trouble coming up with enough information to pull off the lie.

          Since wolves are always pretending to be something they aren’t, they don’t usually have a clearly thought-out reason for what they say. In a debate, they won’t understand the root of an issue.

          They may also tell you what they think you want to hear, but when pressed for more information, they won’t have anything to add. Their knowledge is superficial. No matter how much you try to encourage discussion, they will not be able to carry on a conversation about the subject.

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          Wolves Are Everywhere

          As much as we want to believe that everyone has the best intentions, it isn’t always the case. Some people only do things to benefit themselves, and they don’t care who they hurt in the process.

          Wolves in sheep’s clothing can be found in almost every setting. You can’t get rid of them, but if you can spot them, you can avoid falling into their traps.

          Reference

          [1] Association of Biblical Counselors: Three Ways to Spot a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
          [2] Power of Positivity: Beware of a wolf in sheep’s clothing

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