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How To Deal With Loneliness

How To Deal With Loneliness

If you find yourself feeling lonely, you need to be patient. Most people are not alone much and loneliness can be hard to deal with if you’re not used to it. But this shouldn’t worry you because being alone can be great, once you’ve learned to embrace it.

If you think about it, there are already many places where you are alone. The bathroom, the coffee shop, the library, and on the bus during your morning commute. When you’re alone in the bathroom, you have time think or read the paper. When you’re in a coffee shop, it’s totally acceptable to sit alone and watch the people walk by. The library is a place where you’re not supposed to talk anyway so it’s a fine place to sit alone and read.

But that’s not all–there are plenty of other places where it’s more than okay to be alone. How about the gym? You can simply put headphones in and isolate yourself from the world around you as you get your workout in. Then there’s public transportation which is constantly occupied by people who are alone while heading somewhere.

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If you think about it, it’s also totally fine to go out to lunch by yourself. Most employees only have an hour for lunch and don’t have enough time to meet up with friends and spouses who work on the other side of town. They’ll be eating out alone, just like you.

You can go pray or mediate alone in a church, synagogue, or mosque. No one will judge you for being alone while praying and thinking.

When you’re ready, take yourself out to dinner alone. Plenty of businessmen do it when they’re far from home. Avoid hanging out with your cell phone and try to enjoy the alone time. Chat up the waiter or sit at the bar and make conversation with the bartender.

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Go to the movies alone. It’s dark and relaxing in a movie theater and hardly anyone will notice you’re alone. It’s another great place where it’s okay to be lonely.

You can go on a hike in the woods alone and find comfort among the birds, trees, and forest animals.

You can be alone in a unfamiliar city and find comfort in a park or on a bench somewhere.

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It’s strange but society is afraid to be alone. We’re somehow afraid to be alone, and if we’re not “paired up” by a certain point in our lives, people start to think there’s something wrong with us.

Yet, this is the wrong way of thinking. Being lonely can be a liberating feeling. Being alone affords you a certain kind of freedom that makes things somehow easier. Being alone can be an amazing opportunity.

All that matters, in the end, is that you find happiness on your own. Love yourself and learn to love being alone.

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Soon enough, you’ll learn to overcome the feelings of insecurity and, in time, you’ll learn to love your time alone.

There’s a great lyrical poem by Tonya Davis called “How To Be Alone” that perfectly captures the beauty and important of alone time. You can watch this awesome video which was created based on the poem.

Ultimately, dealing with loneliness is entirely up to you. Remember, at first you must be patient. You cannot expect to conquer feelings of loneliness all at once. I assure you that over time, and with practice, you’ll learn to love and cherish those few moments when you do find yourself alone. It is in those moments that we can truly be ourselves and learn to enjoy our own company. This is a very important lesson to learn.

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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