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How To Deal With Loneliness

How To Deal With Loneliness

If you find yourself feeling lonely, you need to be patient. Most people are not alone much and loneliness can be hard to deal with if you’re not used to it. But this shouldn’t worry you because being alone can be great, once you’ve learned to embrace it.

If you think about it, there are already many places where you are alone. The bathroom, the coffee shop, the library, and on the bus during your morning commute. When you’re alone in the bathroom, you have time think or read the paper. When you’re in a coffee shop, it’s totally acceptable to sit alone and watch the people walk by. The library is a place where you’re not supposed to talk anyway so it’s a fine place to sit alone and read.

But that’s not all–there are plenty of other places where it’s more than okay to be alone. How about the gym? You can simply put headphones in and isolate yourself from the world around you as you get your workout in. Then there’s public transportation which is constantly occupied by people who are alone while heading somewhere.

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If you think about it, it’s also totally fine to go out to lunch by yourself. Most employees only have an hour for lunch and don’t have enough time to meet up with friends and spouses who work on the other side of town. They’ll be eating out alone, just like you.

You can go pray or mediate alone in a church, synagogue, or mosque. No one will judge you for being alone while praying and thinking.

When you’re ready, take yourself out to dinner alone. Plenty of businessmen do it when they’re far from home. Avoid hanging out with your cell phone and try to enjoy the alone time. Chat up the waiter or sit at the bar and make conversation with the bartender.

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Go to the movies alone. It’s dark and relaxing in a movie theater and hardly anyone will notice you’re alone. It’s another great place where it’s okay to be lonely.

You can go on a hike in the woods alone and find comfort among the birds, trees, and forest animals.

You can be alone in a unfamiliar city and find comfort in a park or on a bench somewhere.

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It’s strange but society is afraid to be alone. We’re somehow afraid to be alone, and if we’re not “paired up” by a certain point in our lives, people start to think there’s something wrong with us.

Yet, this is the wrong way of thinking. Being lonely can be a liberating feeling. Being alone affords you a certain kind of freedom that makes things somehow easier. Being alone can be an amazing opportunity.

All that matters, in the end, is that you find happiness on your own. Love yourself and learn to love being alone.

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Soon enough, you’ll learn to overcome the feelings of insecurity and, in time, you’ll learn to love your time alone.

There’s a great lyrical poem by Tonya Davis called “How To Be Alone” that perfectly captures the beauty and important of alone time. You can watch this awesome video which was created based on the poem.

Ultimately, dealing with loneliness is entirely up to you. Remember, at first you must be patient. You cannot expect to conquer feelings of loneliness all at once. I assure you that over time, and with practice, you’ll learn to love and cherish those few moments when you do find yourself alone. It is in those moments that we can truly be ourselves and learn to enjoy our own company. This is a very important lesson to learn.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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