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How To Deal With Loneliness

How To Deal With Loneliness

If you find yourself feeling lonely, you need to be patient. Most people are not alone much and loneliness can be hard to deal with if you’re not used to it. But this shouldn’t worry you because being alone can be great, once you’ve learned to embrace it.

If you think about it, there are already many places where you are alone. The bathroom, the coffee shop, the library, and on the bus during your morning commute. When you’re alone in the bathroom, you have time think or read the paper. When you’re in a coffee shop, it’s totally acceptable to sit alone and watch the people walk by. The library is a place where you’re not supposed to talk anyway so it’s a fine place to sit alone and read.

But that’s not all–there are plenty of other places where it’s more than okay to be alone. How about the gym? You can simply put headphones in and isolate yourself from the world around you as you get your workout in. Then there’s public transportation which is constantly occupied by people who are alone while heading somewhere.

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If you think about it, it’s also totally fine to go out to lunch by yourself. Most employees only have an hour for lunch and don’t have enough time to meet up with friends and spouses who work on the other side of town. They’ll be eating out alone, just like you.

You can go pray or mediate alone in a church, synagogue, or mosque. No one will judge you for being alone while praying and thinking.

When you’re ready, take yourself out to dinner alone. Plenty of businessmen do it when they’re far from home. Avoid hanging out with your cell phone and try to enjoy the alone time. Chat up the waiter or sit at the bar and make conversation with the bartender.

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Go to the movies alone. It’s dark and relaxing in a movie theater and hardly anyone will notice you’re alone. It’s another great place where it’s okay to be lonely.

You can go on a hike in the woods alone and find comfort among the birds, trees, and forest animals.

You can be alone in a unfamiliar city and find comfort in a park or on a bench somewhere.

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It’s strange but society is afraid to be alone. We’re somehow afraid to be alone, and if we’re not “paired up” by a certain point in our lives, people start to think there’s something wrong with us.

Yet, this is the wrong way of thinking. Being lonely can be a liberating feeling. Being alone affords you a certain kind of freedom that makes things somehow easier. Being alone can be an amazing opportunity.

All that matters, in the end, is that you find happiness on your own. Love yourself and learn to love being alone.

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Soon enough, you’ll learn to overcome the feelings of insecurity and, in time, you’ll learn to love your time alone.

There’s a great lyrical poem by Tonya Davis called “How To Be Alone” that perfectly captures the beauty and important of alone time. You can watch this awesome video which was created based on the poem.

Ultimately, dealing with loneliness is entirely up to you. Remember, at first you must be patient. You cannot expect to conquer feelings of loneliness all at once. I assure you that over time, and with practice, you’ll learn to love and cherish those few moments when you do find yourself alone. It is in those moments that we can truly be ourselves and learn to enjoy our own company. This is a very important lesson to learn.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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