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Last Updated on August 23, 2018

What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely

What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely

If you have no friends, it feels like you’ll be lonely for life and it’s likely to say “I have no friends at all.”

Of course, that’s not true.

You can still make new friends even if you find yourself in a situation with no friend in sight. This happens when you move to a new city, break up with someone that was your only friend and lover, or make important changes in your lifestyle.

Here are important steps that can take you from being lonely to having the friends you want.

Understand Loneliness and Shyness

Loneliness and shyness can cause misunderstanding and misinterpreted feelings. Understanding the right meanings of loneliness and shyness is the key to overcoming them.

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Loneliness, for instance, is nothing more than a signal your body generates when you’re not experiencing any social connection. It signals to you that the need for social connection is as important as eating or drinking.

If you misunderstand the state of loneliness, you could get stuck in it for no reason whatsoever, especially when you have no friends and don’t know how to deal with it.

Shyness, on the other hand, is the fear of social criticism. Let me say that again: It’s the fear of social criticism.

In other words, shyness is just the fear of something that might happen, but probably won’t.

If you misunderstand shyness and therefore hide or withdraw from people, they will most likely interpret that as you rejecting them.

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Even if your intentions are good and you are just avoiding rejection out of shyness, people can misunderstand those actions as an insult to their value. This can make them think you are snobbish or conceited, and they will, in turn, start rejecting you.

Master Conversation and Social Skills

Conversation is the blood vein of social connection. If you master it, you’ll get all the friends and influence you want.

One important factor is the ability to keep a conversation going. In order to do this, you need to learn to get interested in others and ask them questions about themselves.

You also want find a way to connect with and speak intelligently to the topic of conversation. Finding that common ground in conversation is what guarantees that people will want to spend more time in your company.

If you look for more useful ways to improve your social skills, check out this article:

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12 Ways To Improve Social Skills And Make You Sociable Anytime

Learn to Make Friends and Build Your Social Circle

The first thing to know about making friends is that it is a skill. It’s not something you’re born with, as many people like to believe.

Making friends is not a magical ability that only a few have. It is a learned skill. Most of us learned how to make friends when we were little but many of us need to learn the new skill of making friends as adults.

To do that, you need to find groups of people that meet up regularly and have interests that are similar to your own. You also need to learn how to find commonalities with these people beyond that first common interest in order to turn your new acquaintances into friends.

If you feel like you are bonding with an individual, meet up with them once or twice in a social setting. If all goes well, you should meet up with them regularly in order to maintain and strengthen the bond.

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Final thoughts

These are all skills that you can learn how to do. It’s not that complicated when you know how. You can keep making good friends no matter what your age is.

After you have made a few friends, the next step is to introduce them to each other. If you do that, you will arrive at what we call a social circle: a nice circle of friends that works with you in making plans, introduces new people into the group, and creates amazing experiences that you will enjoy together.

Once you have a nice circle of friends, you’re no longer the only one trying to improve your social life. Your close friends will help you out with it, too!

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

More by this author

Paul Sanders

A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere.

How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely 7 Tips How to Make Friends During College 5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It How To Quietly Build A Social Life

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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