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How Texting Builds A Wall Between Me And My Friends

How Texting Builds A Wall Between Me And My Friends

We all had that experience before. When casual texting ended in something terribly embarrassing.

Personally, my experience almost cost myself a few buddies. I once texted my girlfriend about my rude yet funny friends. I mentioned how they tested the border-line tolerance of one another. I exemplified with some utterly crude incidence. I was so happy sharing until I figured out I had been talking directly to my friends and really infuriated them.

Don’t lie. We all had that most embarrassing moment.

Texting is detrimental to us. It potentially weakens our communication skills and harms our friendships.

We’re eloquent in texting, but it’s the opposite case when we meet face-to-face

Texting is never similar to face-to-face communication.

Face-to-face communication conveys meaning beyond words. We have different gestures and expressions whilst talking. These imply our emotional state at the moment.

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Eye contact, touch and tones are also part of the message. While you are talking, a blink or a raised tone can mean exactly the opposite to what the words literally mean.

Noticing the subtle signals from the listeners’ body language and facial expressions can tell whether we are talking right or wrong.

There was a time that I had a discussion with my boss and colleagues. I didn’t realize I was saying something really unfavorable to my boss. I found my colleague making an angry face and peeped at the boss for a brief moment. That little act saved my career!

When we are used to the communication mode of texting, we eventually lose our knowledge in body language and sound awkward to the others.

Communication is all about trivial matters in life

Texting can come in handy when we just meet a new friend and it is too awkward to talk face-to-face. Small talk by text can then be a useful alternative to grow friendship.

However, texting always stays at a surface level communication. There is very little if not no meaningful conversation in small talk.

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Only when we meet face-to-face with others we can show our real self.

It is not uncommon to meet someone new online nowadays. It is also not uncommon to date someone met online out. We may have an enjoyable time chatting online but it’s the real deal when we encounter the person physically.

Sudden loss at words, stammering, avoiding eye contact, trembling. They all happen.

Fluent at texting doesn’t necessarily mean you can talk nicely face-to-face.

We only think about ourselves when we text

We are self-oriented in texting. We always start with what ‘I’ think, how ‘I’ feel and what ‘I’ am doing. It is the normal way of thinking in texting.

In reality, self-orientation makes us less aware of the potential inappropriate message to others.

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We always talk about ourselves, disregarding the others’ stance and background. This may put the listeners in a very difficult situation.

In reality, we always have to take the others’ perspectives into consideration. Something appropriate to you doesn’t mean it is acceptable to the others. .

If you wildly celebrate your victory online, how do your friends who are eliminated early in the tournament feel?

I once was discussing where to dine with my friends and I recommended hot wings buffet, bragging about how brilliant their spice was. I was so used to the self-oriented conversational style of texting that I totally forgot one of my friends was having a burning throat. At the end of the day, he lost his voice and it was a great regret for me.

Texting make us more tolerant to socially inappropriate behavior

In texting, we can delay our replies or even ignore the message. Sometimes we are busy. Sometimes we miss the message. Sometimes we are just uninterested. It is fine because this is the way texting works. It accepts such situation. None would stare at the phone, waiting for the replies.

In reality, it isn’t the same. We cannot ignore the others and delay our replies in face-to-face interaction.

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It is socially inappropriate and appears rude to the others.

The rule in texting does not play well in face-to-face communication.

When I was working on a group project at college, I had a group mate whose phone is never idling. He texts all the time. One time I was asking him for some crucial information about the job division. He simply ignored me completely as if my question were non-existent at all. I blew my fuse immediately and glad there was someone holding onto me before anything brutal happened.

In spite of the convenience offered by texting, texting can never replace face-to-face communication. They each have a different set of rules and should be handled separately. We should never rely heavily on texting because it is detrimental to us. It weakens our communication skills and can potentially kill friendship.

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Jeffrey Lau

Editor. Sport Lover. Animal Lover.

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Last Updated on June 26, 2020

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

1. This Too Shall Pass

Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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2. Some Things are Going Right

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

3. I Have Some Control

One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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4. I Can Ask for Help

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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6. I Can Handle This

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

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Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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