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How Texting Builds A Wall Between Me And My Friends

How Texting Builds A Wall Between Me And My Friends

We all had that experience before. When casual texting ended in something terribly embarrassing.

Personally, my experience almost cost myself a few buddies. I once texted my girlfriend about my rude yet funny friends. I mentioned how they tested the border-line tolerance of one another. I exemplified with some utterly crude incidence. I was so happy sharing until I figured out I had been talking directly to my friends and really infuriated them.

Don’t lie. We all had that most embarrassing moment.

Texting is detrimental to us. It potentially weakens our communication skills and harms our friendships.

We’re eloquent in texting, but it’s the opposite case when we meet face-to-face

Texting is never similar to face-to-face communication.

Face-to-face communication conveys meaning beyond words. We have different gestures and expressions whilst talking. These imply our emotional state at the moment.

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Eye contact, touch and tones are also part of the message. While you are talking, a blink or a raised tone can mean exactly the opposite to what the words literally mean.

Noticing the subtle signals from the listeners’ body language and facial expressions can tell whether we are talking right or wrong.

There was a time that I had a discussion with my boss and colleagues. I didn’t realize I was saying something really unfavorable to my boss. I found my colleague making an angry face and peeped at the boss for a brief moment. That little act saved my career!

When we are used to the communication mode of texting, we eventually lose our knowledge in body language and sound awkward to the others.

Communication is all about trivial matters in life

Texting can come in handy when we just meet a new friend and it is too awkward to talk face-to-face. Small talk by text can then be a useful alternative to grow friendship.

However, texting always stays at a surface level communication. There is very little if not no meaningful conversation in small talk.

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Only when we meet face-to-face with others we can show our real self.

It is not uncommon to meet someone new online nowadays. It is also not uncommon to date someone met online out. We may have an enjoyable time chatting online but it’s the real deal when we encounter the person physically.

Sudden loss at words, stammering, avoiding eye contact, trembling. They all happen.

Fluent at texting doesn’t necessarily mean you can talk nicely face-to-face.

We only think about ourselves when we text

We are self-oriented in texting. We always start with what ‘I’ think, how ‘I’ feel and what ‘I’ am doing. It is the normal way of thinking in texting.

In reality, self-orientation makes us less aware of the potential inappropriate message to others.

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We always talk about ourselves, disregarding the others’ stance and background. This may put the listeners in a very difficult situation.

In reality, we always have to take the others’ perspectives into consideration. Something appropriate to you doesn’t mean it is acceptable to the others. .

If you wildly celebrate your victory online, how do your friends who are eliminated early in the tournament feel?

I once was discussing where to dine with my friends and I recommended hot wings buffet, bragging about how brilliant their spice was. I was so used to the self-oriented conversational style of texting that I totally forgot one of my friends was having a burning throat. At the end of the day, he lost his voice and it was a great regret for me.

Texting make us more tolerant to socially inappropriate behavior

In texting, we can delay our replies or even ignore the message. Sometimes we are busy. Sometimes we miss the message. Sometimes we are just uninterested. It is fine because this is the way texting works. It accepts such situation. None would stare at the phone, waiting for the replies.

In reality, it isn’t the same. We cannot ignore the others and delay our replies in face-to-face interaction.

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It is socially inappropriate and appears rude to the others.

The rule in texting does not play well in face-to-face communication.

When I was working on a group project at college, I had a group mate whose phone is never idling. He texts all the time. One time I was asking him for some crucial information about the job division. He simply ignored me completely as if my question were non-existent at all. I blew my fuse immediately and glad there was someone holding onto me before anything brutal happened.

In spite of the convenience offered by texting, texting can never replace face-to-face communication. They each have a different set of rules and should be handled separately. We should never rely heavily on texting because it is detrimental to us. It weakens our communication skills and can potentially kill friendship.

More by this author

Jeffrey Lau

Editor. Sport Lover. Animal Lover.

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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