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Why People Like Those Who Know How To Joke About Themselves

Why People Like Those Who Know How To Joke About Themselves

Who doesn’t love a good laugh every once in awhile? Watching comedy movies and joking with our friends are great ways to unwind after a stressful day. Somehow, some of the funniest jokes around are the ones that people make about themselves.

When you hear somebody joke about themselves, it’s instantly funny. Not only that, but it draws you toward the person and makes them instantly relatable. Even though comedy is a very subjective thing, there are certain steps you can take to make people laugh and get them to like you.

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“I don’t mind making jokes, but I don’t want to look like one.” – Marilyn Monroe

Sometimes, jokes are meant to make fun of other people. I’m sure you’ve laughed at more than a few of these. The truth, however, is that these jokes might hurt somebody’s feelings. If you’re hoping to be funny, don’t tell jokes that could make somebody else feel alienated.[1] That isn’t the way to get somebody to like you.

Remember, humor shouldn’t hurt somebody’s feelings. If your goal is to get people to like you by telling jokes, don’t make fun of anyone else. When you do this, you’re pointing out someone’s insecurities. Most people fight against their insecurities on a daily basis. They don’t need you to draw attention to these issues. Making fun of others is not the way to get people to like you.

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“If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.” – Bob Edwards

You’re probably wondering how to make jokes without using somebody else for the punchline. Easy. Use yourself! That’s right, self-deprecating humor is considered really funny by most audiences. You also have the added benefit of not making somebody else feel bad.

When you make self-deprecating jokes, your literal words are not what makes the joke funny. Instead, the subtext of your message is what makes people laugh. In other words, self-deprecating jokes get their point across indirectly. Be critical of yourself and your actions in a humorous manner, and identify something about yourself that others might find funny.

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“We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that.” – Ellen DeGeneres

One of the funniest TV hosts is Ellen DeGeneres. She’s the best at telling jokes that make people instantly like her. According to a video by Charisma on Command, DeGeneres tends to use 3 types of jokes.[2] She uses self-deprecating humor, innocently pokes fun at others, and tries to lift people’s egos.

In short, be like Ellen DeGeneres when you’re telling jokes. When you avoid making fun of people and their insecurities, you will make more people like you. Telling innocent jokes is much more likely to get laughs out of people. Why? Because people usually aren’t insecure about temporary situations, common issues, or things that are not part of their very identity.[3]

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Other ways to be funnier include making exaggerated body movements and including games in your interactions with other people. Try to have fun and include other people in that fun, no matter what you’re doing. If you can make other people laugh, you’ll help brighten their day and make some friends along the way.

So remember, next time your want to make a joke, think it over first. Make sure that you aren’t making somebody else the butt of your humor. And if you are, make sure it isn’t by making fun of something they can’t change or something that they might feel self-conscious about. Be silly, be self-deprecating, and laugh. Laughter draws us all closer together.

Reference

More by this author

Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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