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6 Signs You’re An Overthinking Worrier (And How To Worry Less)

6 Signs You’re An Overthinking Worrier (And How To Worry Less)

I’m very aware of the fact that I’m an over-thinker. I literally drive myself crazy sometimes worrying and thinking, and it’s usually about the littlest, dumbest things too. The fact is though, it’s just not healthy. Being aware of your over-thinking is the key to keeping it under control and keeping yourself sane. Here are 6 signs that you may be an over-thinker and tips on how to stop worrying so much!

1. You have trouble falling asleep

Your body is tired, but you find yourself tossing and turning. We are all culprits of it- thinking about the day’s occurrences, or worrying about what tomorrow will bring, and not getting enough sleep will only makes matters worse.

Meditation, even in its’ simplest form, will help clear our minds. Take a few moments to lie in bed and focus on the good things that occurred that day. Be thankful for those good things. Think about the funny joke you heard on your lunch break, or the dinner your spouse cooked so you didn’t have to. Tell yourself that you are going to let go of the worry for right now. Tell yourself that tomorrow is a new day and you are going to make the best of it. The power of relaxation and positive thinking will help to ease your mind and allow a good night’s rest.

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2. You wake up to worry

So you’ve manage to fall asleep and make it through the night, but now it’s morning. You’ve barely rolled over and already worry pops into your head. Waking up to heavy, stressful thoughts is the worst way to start your day, and many people will agree that a bad morning will make for an entire bad day.

Much like #1, don’t get out of bed until you’ve given yourself a pep talk. Let your body lie still for a few moments and tell yourself that it’s going to be a great day. Tell yourself that you can handle the challenges that the day may bring. Take notice of the sunlight peeking through your curtains. Focus for a moment on the birds chirping outside or the sound of your children waking in the background. Decide right then and there to not carry these worrisome thoughts around the entire day.

3. You’re often emotional or angry

You have a hard time making it through the day without a meltdown and overflow of tears. You find yourself just snapping and the littlest things and overreacting like an emotional train wreck. Sounds like you need some ‘me’ time!

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Fit some time into your schedule to pamper and take care of yourself in the ways that make you most relaxed and happy. If you enjoy nature, get out for a walk. Buy the new dress or boots you’ve been wanting. Treat yourself to a triple scoop ice cream cone. Allow yourself to cry over sad songs if that’s what you need. Get in touch with your best friend; you know that guy or gal can always make you laugh! Maintain regular visits with a therapist if expert advice is required.

4. You blame yourself

Your daughter failed her test because you forgot to help her study the night before. Your spouse didn’t have breakfast that morning because you overslept. There are no clean bath towels because you neglected to keep up on laundry. Cavity? Because you didn’t floss enough. Out of milk? Because you were too lazy to run to the store.

You cannot carry the weight of the world on your shoulders! We are human. We make mistakes. We are only capable of handling so much at one time. Perhaps it’s time to delegate tasks to other family members to help ease your worries. You do a lot, but can’t do it all, and instead of blaming yourself for things gone wrong, pat yourself on the back for things gone right.

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5. You scrutinize people’s words and facial expressions

You walk away from the cashier’s checkout line wondering if he was looking at you funny. You thought for sure that couple behind you was laughing at your shoes. You could swear that the lady was just being sarcastic when she complimented your hair.

Nine times out of ten, it’s just in our heads. Don’t let these little insecurities get in your way. We shouldn’t worry ourselves thinking about some ‘hidden agenda’ in everyone’s comments or facial expressions. Whether the lady’s compliment was genuine or not, smile and say “thank you”, and then let it go. Don’t let your thoughts stray any more than that. Besides, your hair was looking pretty rad that day!

6. Your thoughts are consumed by bills

Unless you’re a recent lottery winner, it would be fair to say that most of us worry about bills. Let’s face it, bills suck, but they are a part of a life. They come every month and worrying about them won’t make them go away.

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Maybe it’s time to sit down and rewrite your budget plan. Maybe it’s time to rethink what’s really necessary and try to eliminate the things that aren’t. Perhaps a temporary part-time job is needed to help pay a few things off. Sometimes even calling the companies to get an extension or set up on a payment plan will help to ease your worries.

Over-thinking and worrying to some extent is normal human nature. Life isn’t always easy and we all at some point have too much on our plate. We need to recognize our worries and be conscious of ways to ease them. Find ways that work best for you on how to stop worrying so much and practice them regularly. It will help you to maintain good health, a clear mind, and a loving heart.  

Featured photo credit: http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1514502/thumbs/o-STRESSED-WORRIED-WOMAN-STOCK-THINKSTOCK-OWN-facebook.jpg via i.huffpost.com

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Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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