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10 Ways To Help Your Children Through A Divorce

10 Ways To Help Your Children Through A Divorce

Divorce is a time of awful change so there’s no question that it is stressful – for both parents and kids. The prospect of their parents splitting sets off all kinds of confusing thoughts in the fragile minds of children. The emotional toll of divorce on kids can be huge and if they don’t get proper help in time, the consequences can be terrible and may last throughout their lives.

Researchers have found that children with divorced parents are twice more likely to suffer from problems like depression, aggression, lower academic performance etc. than ones from intact families.

However, these problems are not inevitable. Knowing how to help your kids through this hard time makes all the difference in how the divorce impacts your kids on the short term as well as on the long run.

Here below are a few things for parents to do to help their kids cope with divorce.

1. Reassure your kids that they are loved

Seeing their parents go through the hassles of divorce can brew all kinds of negative thoughts in kids’ minds which could have devastating consequences in the long run. The changes that divorce brings along puts the kids in situations where they blame themselves for the things happening around them.

“He is leaving because I wasn’t a good kid. If only I had been better behaved”. These kind of thoughts leaves them feeling unloved which could result in problems like low self-esteem and emotional difficulties that can last well beyond childhood.  Comfort them often with hugs and reassure them that both the parents still love them. And also, make sure you are providing them with the necessary child support.

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2. Tell your children the truth about why you are separating (to the extent possible)

By keeping your kids in the dark or telling them lies about your divorce, you don’t save them any trouble, rather you make the already bad situation worse. If you’re building on the foundation of lies, when it gets sufficiently high it comes down crashing on you.

Be honest and tell your kids why you are divorcing but don’t forget to be age-aware. Don’t let them think the divorce is about them or give them the idea that they are the reason you are divorcing. Tell them early and often that it is not their fault that the family had to split. Help them process the truth without sugarcoating the situation.

3. Encourage them to communicate

Expressing yourself and sharing your feelings helps alleviate the pain and stress caused by any kind of difficult situation. Encourage your kids to communicate. Encourage them to express how they feel about the divorce as a whole and let out their frustrations.

Expressing themselves help them ease their frustrations and gives them a sense of empowerment. Listen to them, help them find words for their feelings and acknowledge them. Provide them therapy sessions if need be.

4. Don’t fight in front of your kids

Heated conversations, arguments about unreliability or finance are likely to take place under these kinds of circumstances where getting along with your spouse seems nearly impossible. But for the sake of your child, don’t fight in front of your kids or make them tools to exchange insults or anything divorce related

Don’t bring children into your fight at all.

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Researchers have found that the amount of parental conflicts witnessed by the child during and immediately after divorce has a crucial role in his/her adjustment. Most poorly adjusted kids are those exposed to conflicts. Keep your kids away from your fights.

5. Avoid blaming or criticizing your spouse in front of your kids

Criticizing and playing blame games impart nothing more than negativity. You can talk about it to your friends outside the home or in private therapy sessions but keep it away from your kids.

Never vent negative feelings to your children seeking support from them, even if they seem to want you to. Don’t expect your kids to take sides and try to make your spouse look guilty in front of them.

It is always advisable to keep a civilized relationship with your partner if at all possible. That helps reduce the tension of the situation and stress on your kids.

6. Stick to their routine

Divorce brings along many changes in routine which children find confusing and stressful. Try to minimize changes for them. Stick to their daily routine and usual activities as much as possible.

Having to adjust to a lot of changes at once can be difficult to anybody-especially children. It puts children under a lot of pressure and as a result, anxious thoughts set off. While they need to learn to be flexible to changes in their routine slowly, as a parent, you should try and minimize disruptions to things they love doing and make them feel that life is still normal.

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7. Allow kids to express disappointments

Let your kids vent out their disappointments about the divorce in general or about anything specific. Let them know you understand how they feel and that doesn’t upset you or make you angry.

If you miss a play date with your kid and he/she is disappointed with you about that, he/she is entitled to that feeling and should be able to express it without having to worry about upsetting you.

Being able to express disappointments to their parents helps them recover faster and strengthens parent-child relationship. Offer them mental support and comfort by letting them know that their feelings matter.

8. Aim for peaceful transitions

To help your kids adjust to the new circumstances, try and keep the transitions peaceful. Be flexible enough to allow rescheduling visitations. Be civil and try to keep a good relation with your kids’ other parent.

Present yourself well in front of your spouse no matter how upset or angry you feel, kids notice that. It will help reduce the stress on your kids and the tension of the situation.

9. Seek help from others

Don’t be afraid to seek help from others. Sometimes, it is difficult to handle things alone-you might not know how to deal with the feelings of your children while you yourself are struggling with your own.

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So, ask for help to your parents, relatives, friends to help you and your children. Tell their teachers, caretakers about what is happening so they can be understanding and supportive to the kids.

10. Keep yourself healthy

Keep your kids away from your worries. Your kids can sense your mood and your mood largely contributes to the state of their own mood. If they sense tension, they become anxious themselves.

Sadness is contagious. But so is happiness. Seeing their parents happy sends them a good message that everything is still fine. Only a happy parent can keep his/her kids happy. The faster you recover, the better you help your kids cope with the changes.

Keep yourself healthy, eat a healthy diet and exercise often. See your friends and keep yourself occupied with things you like doing. Maintain a healthy ambiance around you and that will help your kid a lot.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Nabin Paudyal

Co-Founder, Siplikan Media Group

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Published on September 28, 2018

The Top 21 Kids Websites to Teach Responsibility and Life Skills

The Top 21 Kids Websites to Teach Responsibility and Life Skills

Letting your children navigate the internet on their own is like throwing them into the Wild West for them to fend for themselves. The internet can be a dangerous place for children if they are on the wrong websites.

We all want to protect our children, so knowing the websites that are safe for our kids is of utmost importance. What we also want as parents are websites that teach our children life skills and responsibility.

There are great websites, geared for children, that will engage your child and have them learning at the same time. Below are the top 21 websites for teaching children life skills and responsibility. All of the sites have been vetted and approved by Common Sense Media, a non-profit organization whose mission is to “empower parents, teachers, and policymakers by providing unbiased information, trusted advice, and innovative tools to help them harness the power of media and technology as a positive force in all kids’ lives.”

Always monitor children when they are using the internet. Parental guidance for age appropriateness is recommended when your child uses any of the websites listed below. What is appropriate for an eight year old is not always appropriate or suited for a four year old.

These 21 websites can have your kids engaged, entertained, learning, and developing new skills.  Most of them are intended to engage children of various ages, so look for the content on each site that is appropriate for your child’s age and ability level.

1. PBS Kids

    This website is loaded with games, educational activities and videos that will please both child and parent.

    This site engages children in activities and videos that teach them about citizenship, different cultures, geography, global awareness, hypothesis testing, investigating, self-reflection, personal growth, empathy, respect for others, labeling feelings and more.

    For example, the Webonauts Internet Academy teaches kids how to be safe online and Wild Kratts teaches kids about different habitats around the world.

    There is a great deal of content on this website. Head to their site today to discover what your child could be missing out on!

    2. Curious World

      This site is geared for kids ages 2-7. The main character guiding kids on an educational journey is Curious George. If your child is a fan of the books or cartoon, then you should check out this website.

      There are eight key areas of learning covered on this website including math, reading, and science. This website makes learning fun with games and child appropriate online activities. It also includes hands on activities for parents to do with their child.

      Activities such as crafting, cooking, and art projects with detailed instructions are provided, so that parents can interact with their children to build important life skills.

      3. News-O-Matic

        This is a news website geared for kids. The content helps them learn about the world and its happenings, in a website that is made for kids.

        There are daily editions of which include new articles every day on a variety of subjects and topics. The articles are written to grab the attention of a child reader. You will find that even reluctant readers find this site entertaining.

        If you have a passion for the news and keeping up with the changing world, then you can ignite this passion in your children by getting them started on the News-O-Matic website.

        Some of the skills that kids can learn while utilizing this site include reading comprehension, increased vocabulary, geography recognition, critical thinking, perspective taking, reasoning, and cultural awareness.

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        4. National Geographic Kids

          The National Geographic Kids website teaches kids about animals, space, the natural world, dinosaurs, insects and more. They use games, videos, and online activities to connect children with learning about our natural world.

          There are valuable skills reinforced in the online activities including the use of logic, memory, applying information, investigation, problem solving, and imagination.

          There is a great deal of free content on this website that can be utilized without being a paid subscriber.

          5. ABC Mouse

            This website is geared for children ages 2-7. This is a learning website that covers the subjects of reading, math, social studies, science, health, writing, art, and music.

            Some of the skills that are taught on this site through the website activities include following directions, letter recognition, word recognition, phonics, reading comprehension, speaking, memorization, solving puzzles, measurement, goal achievement, rhythm, and more.

            This website boats that it contains a comprehensive curriculum with more than 8,500 learning activities. It is a great tool for preschoolers preparing for kindergarten.

            There are also lessons and activities that are more advanced beyond kindergarten.

            This is a subscription based program. It has won many awards because of its comprehensive nature and successful curriculum.

            6. FunBrain

              This educational website has a great deal of free content, so your child can access hundreds of activities without a subscription.

              There are games and activities for kids to play while they learn at the same time. Kids will use the following skills while playing on this website: problem solving, puzzle solving, reading, vocabulary, math, and reasoning.

              What makes this site unique is that there are online versions of popular kid’s books including the “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” series.

              7. Nourish Interactive

                This website is geared toward nutrition for children. It is a free website.

                There are games, printable activities, recipes and tools on this site that teach children about nutrition.

                The goal of the site is to help children learn to make healthy eating choices at a young age, so they can have this skill for life. The site also teaches about cooking, with many healthy recipes available free.

                8. Arthur Family Health

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                  Arthur is a favorite cartoon character on PBS. The Arthur Family Health website is for kids to learn about resilience, fitness, peanut allergies, asthma, and more.

                  Health is not an easy topic to address with children, but this website does a great job by utilizing games, videos, and activities that are age appropriate and fun.

                  9. Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood

                    This website uses the popular PBS cartoon character Daniel Tiger. This website has games, activities, and videos geared toward younger children.

                    The skills that are taught on this site include expressing emotions appropriately, eating healthy, making friends, brushing teeth, dealing with disappointment and toilet training.

                    There are stories with a narrator for kids to listen to, simple games to play, videos to watch, and songs to engage younger children.

                    It is an entertaining site for younger kids and the topics teach great life skills for little ones! This is a free website.

                    10. BrainPop

                      This website is geared for children in the fourth grade and older. It is a paid subscription site. However, there are some games and videos that are available free on this site.

                      This website helps kids academically. There are also life skills and lessons addressed on the site. They address even the most sensitive and tough topics such as war, terrorism, sexual development, and alcoholism.

                      Reviewers of the site say that this website is useful for kids all the way through high school.

                      11. Arcademic Skill Builder

                        This website is geared toward helping young students acquire math, language arts, English and critical-thinking skills. This site is filled with games and activities to keep kids entertained while learning.

                        This website has a strong emphasis on math skills including addition, subtraction, counting, division, fractions, money, multiplication, ratios, and shapes.

                        If your child is struggling with their math skills, then this site can be of great help. Many of the games and activities are free.

                        12. Cyberchase

                          This website is based on the PBS show Cyberchase. It is geared toward children who can read or are learning to read. It helps kids acquire critical thinking and reading skills.

                          The site is filled with free games, videos and activities that keep kids entertained, engaged, and learning. Some of the games get kids to think about real life situations to utilize their problem solving skills. Brainstorming is a another skill that is utilized on this site. It is a free website.

                          13. Fact Monster

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                            This website was created in partnership with educational professional. It is a site that is a great help for children completing homework. They can find facts on dozens of subjects on this site along with dictionary and atlas.

                            The content is more than browsing and providing information. There are games and activities to entertain kids on the site while they learn. Interesting to note, the site contains more than 30,000 short biographies!

                            This website is a game changer for home work time. Some of the skills that kids apply on this site include problem solving, thinking, reasoning, and self-direction.

                            14. Maggie’s Earth Adventures

                              This website gets kids thinking and learning about the world and its vast ecosystems. It is a free site that teaches kids about the earth.

                              Real life situations are presented in short videos. Then kids play games that touch on the subjects of animals, earth, recycling, and injustice.

                              Some of the skills that they can acquire on this site include cultural understanding, global awareness, reading comprehension, spelling, vocabulary, investigation, prediction, and thinking critically.

                              15. PBS Lab

                                PBS Lab is funded by a grant from the U.S. Department of Education. This grant requires them to research the games and their effectiveness in helping kids learn real skills. The result is a website where kids actually learn while they have fun.

                                This site teaches kids the skills they need to be successful in school. The website is useful for kids ages three and up. Some of the skills that kids learn on this site include math, reading, spelling, word recognition, measuring, and pattern recognition. This site is free!

                                16. Sesame Street

                                  This website is based on the TV program. Kids are entertained by their favorite Muppets in games, songs, podcasts, videos, and activities.

                                  This site can be used by children ages two and up, so it is one of the best options for very young children.

                                  Some of the skills taught on this site include empathy, labeling emotions, brushing teeth, hygiene, addition, subtraction, counting, measuring, recognizing shapes, understanding cultural differences, following directions, letter recognition, word recognition, spelling, respecting others, asking questions, problem solving, use of imagination, and making new creations.

                                  This site has a great deal of value for parents who want their children to be learning practical life skills while they are on the internet being entertained. This website is completely free!

                                  17. Star Fall

                                    This educational website is geared for children ages four and up. Although this is a subscription website, there is content that users can try out before purchasing.

                                    The website is run through a non profit organization and the price for subscription to the site is low because they want to make the content available widespread to benefit many children.

                                    Some of the skills that kids can learn on this website are addition, subtraction, counting, division, equations, fractions, geometry, grouping, measuring, multiplication, number recognition, shape recognition, reading, letter recognition, and word recognition.

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                                    There are games, lots of songs, and activities to engage young children. The primary focus on this site is math and literacy.

                                    18. How Stuff Works

                                      This website is geared toward older children. It is a site filled with articles, podcasts, games, quizzes, and polls. There is a wealth of information on this site, which makes it useful for homework projects.

                                      The articles are attention grabbing, which help to snag the reader and get them interested in everything from the history of specific holidays to learning how super-volcanos work.

                                      This site touches on eleven primary categories of learning: animals, health, science, tech, automobiles, culture, home & garden, finances, lifestyle, entertainment, and adventure.

                                      Some of the skills that kids can learn through using this site include: building, gardening, self-direction, creativity, researching, empathy, understanding different cultures, and developing novel solutions.

                                      19. Nick Jr

                                        This website is based on the tv shows from the Nick Jr network. Young kids can learn while they interact with their favorite characters on this website. Bubble Guppies, Paw Patrol, Sunny, and dozens of other characters can be found on this site.

                                        There are games, video, stories, and printable activities found on this website. The site is entertaining for kids and they learn a variety of skills including math and reading.

                                        The content is geared toward preschool learning, and it is free.

                                        20. Space Racers

                                          This website is based on the show. The site is designed to get preschoolers excited about space and science.

                                          The learning on this site is based on STEM curriculum (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics). It comes through games, coloring pages, videos, music segments, lesson plans, and printouts from the lessons.

                                          There are a total of 17 lesson plans that use STEM concepts. The skills that kids learn from using this site include observation, teamwork, problem solving, critical thinking, mathematics, decision making, hypothesis testing, and goal setting.

                                          The science subjects taught on this site through the entertaining and engaging content include astronomy, rocket science, geology, and physics. This website is free!

                                          21. Crayola

                                            This website comes from the Crayola company. It is a free website.

                                            When kids click on the “play zone” they can find educational games and activities. The site has many free printable and coloring activities.

                                            The following skills can be learned by kids who use this site: following directions, drawing, painting, making digital creations, use of imagination, innovation, and making new creations.

                                            There are a great deal of DIY craft projects with detailed instructions found on this website.

                                            Featured photo credit: Ben Mullins via unsplash.com

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