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Ways To Help Your Child Express Their Feelings

Ways To Help Your Child Express Their Feelings

As children, many of us are taught to suppress our feelings “Be quiet and dry up your tears, it’s not a big deal”. It was preferred if kids were seen and not heard.

Denying a child the chance to express themselves sends them a very loud message that their feelings are not worthy. The child will translate this to mean that they are not worthy and this results in a whole new set of problems.

There are a number of things we can do as parents to encourage the right amount of self expression. Note that too much expression and your child will start to feel the whole world revolves around them and their problems. It’s important to strike a balance.

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1. Respond to Their Cues

When your children are very small and vulnerable the best approach to take is to respond when they call you. Many people of older generations believe you can spoil a baby when in fact there is no such thing. Your baby will learn that you are listening to them from a very young age if you learn to read the cues they send out and respond  as soon as you can. Babies who are kept to a tight schedule and are left to cry may fall into line and not cause many problems, or alternatively they may react badly and become difficult. Either way there is every possibility that they might have problems later on as they have not been listened to.

2. Tune Into Your Toddler’s Needs

Toddlers are often misunderstood and will then go on to have big tantrums that can be hard to bear. Try to stay calm during the tantrum – laugh it off. It’s just a normal phase and it’s good to know that your child feels safe enough to express themselves. If you don’t understand what your toddler is trying to tell you – have a look at their eyes. A toddlers eyes will express more than you realize and will be a major clue as to what is going on in their mind.

3. Talk About Your Own Feelings

Be a good role model and show your child how to express their feelings. Use words they will understand and tell them what you mean when you introduce a ‘feeling’ word. You could say ” I feel so sad that Daddy’s gone away for a few days – I miss him”  or “I feel angry that nobody helps with the housework – I’m tired of doing it all by myself”. Now they know what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it. This is an excellent learning opportunity for them.

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 4. Help Them to Label Their Feelings

When your kids get frustrated or angry it’s a good time to get in there and try your best to label their feelings for them. You could even play a game of labelling expressions. You can buy these games on Amazon for a few dollars – they are a great fun way to teach expressions and feelings to kids. Then they can recognise feelings in themselves and others, thereby encouraging empathy skills.

5. Avoid Suppressing Their Feelings

This is so important. The last thing we want to do is to send the message that we don’t care about their feelings. So try to avoid saying things like ” Stop that whining, there’s always something wrong with you” or ” Don’t you dare lose your temper with me young man”. This will only result in the child forming a belief that they are not worthy of attention. This will lead to a low self esteem and a whole plethora of problems.

6. Don’t Over Do it

We want balanced, well adjusted children. We don’t want to encourage our children to only express their feelings without regard for the needs of others. Try to address their issue constructively – giving them time to explain their point of view and allowing them to cry for a reasonable amount of time (if that’s what they need). Then, close the subject – there’s no need to allow it to escalate or linger for longer than a few minutes. (Unless there has been some kind of trauma experienced).

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7. Be Approachable

Your little one’s need to know you’re there for them. Show them that you are available using your words and also your body language. Face them, get down to their level, don’t sit defensively with your arms and legs crossed – be open to whatever it is they have to say. Try not to mumble back absentmindedly when they ask you something. Stay present – in the moment with them, responding to every turn in the conversation.

8. Try Empathic Listening

Empathic listening is all about helping someone to see that you understand them and you’ve heard them. ” I see you look sad, can you tell me why” or “Jake pushed you on the back, how do you feel about that” . You’re letting them know that you are tuning into their problem and their needs. It’s so much more helpful to a child to be listened to in this way than to be yelled at or to be told “we’ll talk about it later”.

9. Show Them How To Ask For Help

It’s so important that we all learn how to ask for help in life. Show your children how it’s done. Demonstrate, with the help of another adult, how you can ask for help nicely. Your children learn from your actions and not so much from your advice.

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10. Reinforce When They Get it Right

When you catch your child expressing themselves in an appropriate manner, reinforce this with lots of praise. When your child is praised they are more likely to repeat that action.

11. Alternate Ways to Express Anger

It’s okay to feel angry but not to take it out on other people. Help your kids, especially teenagers, to express that anger through exercise – running, martial arts, swimming and so on. These are all positive ways for us all to express anger.

It takes pracitse and determination to be a good facilitator in your child’s ability to express their feelings appropriately. Stick with it by being a positive role model and stay calm and positive as much as you possibly can. This will pay off ten fold in the long term.

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Published on November 7, 2018

How to Homeschool in the 21st Century (For All Types of Parents & Kids)

How to Homeschool in the 21st Century (For All Types of Parents & Kids)

In 2016, it was estimated that 1.7 million children were being homeschooled in the U.S, roughly 3.3% of all school-aged children.[1] Although this may not sound like a big portion of the population, the growth rate of homeschooling has been 7 to15% per year for the last two decades.

The burgeoning numbers are not a coincidence. There are tremendous benefits to homeschooling, including one-on-one teaching, adaptability to individual needs and learning styles, a safe learning environment, encouraging learning for knowledge rather than grades, and tailoring a curriculum to the child’s interests.

Is homeschooling something that you have been considering for your family? With all of the tools and resources available for homeschoolers in the 21st century, it may be easier than you think.

How to Homeschool (Getting Started)

After thinking it through, you’ve decided that homeschooling is the right step for you and your family. Now what? Here are the first things you should do to get your homeschooling journey started on the right track.

Figure Out the Laws

Homeschooling is regulated by the state, not the federal government. The first step is to find the current and accurate legal requirements mandated by your state in order to educate your child legally.[2]

The regulations can vary widely, from strict guidelines to no guidelines at all. However, don’t be overwhelmed by the legal jargon. There are many resources and local communities for homeschooling families that can help you figure out the logistics.

Decide on an Approach

Every child’s needs are different. This is your chance to choose the homeschooling style or combination of styles that best fits your child’s learning style and interests. A brief description of seven different homeschooling methods are listed below.

Supplies/Resources

Often times, purchasing a homeschooling curriculum is done too early in the planning process, resulting in buyer’s remorse.

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A curriculum is not always needed for homeschooling, and other types of free or less structured resources are readily available.

Find a Community

Getting connected with a community of homeschoolers is one of the most important parts of building a successful and thriving homeschool environment for your kids.

Look for communities online for virtual support or a local group that you and your kids can interact with. Partnering with others fosters better socialization skills for the students and provides opportunities for field trips, classes, and outings that wouldn’t have otherwise been a part of the homeschooling experience.

7 Different Homeschooling Methods

1. School-At-Home

Also known as Traditional homeschool, School-At-Home uses essentially the same curriculum as the local private or public school but at home.

The lessons can be completed independently, but more commonly, they are administered by a parent or a teacher-facilitated online school.

  • Benefits: formal standards, wide selection of curricula, same pace as peers, short-term friendly
  • Drawbacks: expensive, inflexible, time consuming, parent can get easily burnt out
  • Resources: K12, Time4Learning, Abeka

2. Classical

One of the most popular homeschooling methods used, it borrows educational practices from Ancient Greece and Rome. Subject areas are studied chronologically so that students can understand the consequence of ideas over time.

Socratic dialogue fosters effective discussions and debate to achieve beyond mere comprehension. There is often a strong emphasis on Great Books[3] as well as Greek and Latin.

3. Unit Studies

Rather than breaking up education into subjects, unit studies approach each topic as a whole, studying it from the perspective of each subject area.

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For example, a unit study about animals could include reading books about animals, learning about the classification of animals, figuring out which animals live on which continents, etc. This method is often used as a technique in other more comprehensive educational methodologies.

  • Benefits: promotes thinking about concepts as a whole, not monotonous or redundant, student-directed, bolsters weaker subject areas, beneficial for teaching multi-age students
  • Drawbacks: incomplete, knowledge gaps, curriculum-dependent
  • Resources: Unit Study, Unit Studies, Unit Studies Made Easy, Konos

4. Charlotte Mason

This Christian homeschooling style utilizes shorts periods of study (15-20 minute max for elementary, 45 minute max for high school), along with nature walks and history portfolios.

Students are encouraged to practice observation, memorization, and narration often. With a focus on “living books” (stories with heroes, life lessons, socio-ethical implications), reading plays a big role in this student-paced teaching style.

5. Montessori

Maria Montessori developed this method through working with special needs children in the early 20th century.

With a primary focus on the student setting the pace and indirect instruction from the teacher, this approach includes free movement, large unstructured time blocks (up to 3 hours), multi-grade classes, and individualized learning plans based on interests.

6. Unschooling

Unschooling is a learning model largely based on the work of John Holt.[4] The teaching style focuses mainly on the students’ interests, putting priority on experiential, activity-based, and learn as you go approaches.

For basic skills such as reading, writing, and math, a systematic technique is employed, but testing and evaluations are typically not utilized. Teachers, in general, play more of a facilitator role.

7. Eclectic/Relaxed

As the most popular method of homeschool, eclectic homeschooling is child-directed, resourceful, and non-curriculum based.

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Parents can sample any combination of homeschooling methods and styles or resources. One growing sector of eclectic homeschooling combines part homeschooling with part traditional schooling.

How to Facilitate Homeschooling with Technology

One of the reasons homeschooling is more feasible than ever before is due to the accessibility of tools and resources to enhance the learning process.

Email

Email is a tool that has really stood the test of time. Invented in 1972, it is still used today as a primary means of communicating on the Internet.

It is a great way to share assignments, links, and videos between parent and student.

Google Drive/Calendar

Google Drive offers a multitude of essential programs that can come in handy for homeschoolers, such as Docs, Sheets, Slides, and more.

With its sharing capabilities, easy accessibility, and auto-save ability, it’s easier than ever to organize and complete assignments. It will improve students’ writing and typing skills, as well as eliminate the need for paper.

Google Calendar is an excellent tool for tracking assignment due dates, planning field trips and activities, and developing time management skills.

Ebooks

Rather than invest in physical copies of books, ebooks are a wonderful option for saving money and space. There are plenty of places that offer a free or paid subscription to a wide selection of ebooks:

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E-Courses

When a structured curriculum is necessary for teaching a certain topic, an e-course is the way to go.

From watercolors to calculus, there are e-courses available about almost everything. Including different teaching styles that vary from the parents will encourage students to learn in different ways.

The visual and auditory stimulation will also be beneficial in helping students understand and retain the concepts being taught.

Some recommendations:

Youtube

Youtube is not just a platform for music videos and cats doing funny things. There are a number of Youtube channels that produce quality educational videos, free of charge.

Creating a playlist of videos for various topics is a great way to supplement a homeschool education.

Some recommendations:

Final Thoughts

Homeschooling in the current age looks much different than it did ten years ago. There are more options and more flexibility when it comes to educating kids at home.

Don’t be overwhelmed by the idea of homeschooling your children if it could make a positive impact on your family.

Featured photo credit: Hal Gatewood via unsplash.com

Reference

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