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7 Easy Body Language Tricks to Help You Get Over Anger and Get You Back to Feeling Great

7 Easy Body Language Tricks to Help You Get Over Anger and Get You Back to Feeling Great

We’ve all been there before. Someone cuts you off in traffic. You spill ketchup on your new white shirt. It starts raining on your way to the beach. There’s a never-ending list of why you might find yourself angry and in an unpleasant mood.

And once your day starts to take a turn for the worse, it often feels like there’s no going back. However, there are ways to turn the tide, release your anger, and get back into a pleasant and happy mood.

Here are 7 easy body language tricks to help alleviate anger and get you back to feeling great.

1. Look Up

Just as our emotions affect our body language, our body language also has an effect on our emotions. The next time you catch yourself starting to feeling angry, simply take a few seconds and look up towards the ceiling or sky.

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When we are in a negative state, we tend to look down. Think of a child who is being scolded for misbehaving; what does his/her body language look like? His or her head is down looking towards the floor and eye contact is avoided. This is the body’s natural expression of negative emotion.

Looking down triggers negative feelings. So in order to prevent yourself from spiraling down into more negative emotion, interrupt the pattern, do the opposite and look up. It will interrupt the negative emotive state and naturally trigger happy hormones to be released.

2. Fake a Smile

Research has shown that if you fake a smile and hold it long enough, you will start to actually feel happier.  When you find yourself feeling angry, tighten up those cheeks and show those pearly whites. You can even hold a pen or pencil between your teeth, which will force the sides of your mouth up into a smile. By holding a “fake” smile for just a couple minutes, you may start to feel relief as the anger dissipates and is replaced by happy hormones.

3. Laugh

Laughter is an amazing way to change your state in an instant. When you’re feeling angry, take a few minutes to watch or listen to something funny.  You can search for funny cat videos on YouTube or listen to your favorite comedian, put on an episode of your favorite sitcom or Google “cute babies laughing.” It’s pretty difficult to stay angry while watching an adorable little baby giggling in pure joy. Or quadruplets (trust me, Google that).

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4. Breathe Deeply

When we get angry, our breath tends to become fast and shallow as our body enters its fight or flight mode.  By taking a moment to pause and observe your breath when you feel angry, you can consciously change to longer and deeper breaths, which will help you take back control of your emotional state and calm yourself down.

Lengthen the duration of your exhale to have an even greater effect. For example count to 5 as you take a deep breath in, then as you exhale, count to 10, completely emptying your lungs.

Now add some visualization to it. As you exhale, imagine that you are completely releasing all the anger and negative tension in your body. Imagine the anger leaving your body with your breath and just vanishing into the air. Then as you breath in again, imagine breathing in positivity, joy, and happiness. Do this for a full minute and you’ll feel much better.

5. Meditate

Mediation is training for the mind. It helps to calm mind chatter, manage emotions, and allows you to stay connected to your true self, free of distraction.

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Simply take a short time each day to sit in silence and observe your thoughts. Allowing them to eventually drift away until your mind is still, will help you to stay centered and calm regardless of what’s going on in the outside world.

The next time you’re feeling angry, take 10 minutes to mediate, clear your mind, and bring yourself back to peace. From that state of peace, you will be able to handle the situation that is causing your anger with far more grace and clarity.

6. Get Physical

Anger is a build-up of negative energy that can be released from the body consciously if you choose. The next time you feel yourself boiling up inside with anger, let it out with purpose.

Go into your room and yell, scream, flail your arms around like a madman.  Release the anger through your voice and body, punch your pillow, do pushups, do 20 jumping jacks, jump up and down on your bed.

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Any of these physical activities with help interrupt your angry state and release the negative energy that’s inside you. You can even turn that anger into productive exercise; go for a run or hit the gym and lift weights. It may seem a bit ridiculous in the moment, but all these activities can help you release your pent-up anger and feel better.

7. Write It Out

Writing out your thoughts can be very therapeutic. Whatever you’re angry about, write it down, or journal about it. Simply get it out of your head and onto paper. Not only will this help you clear out your negative thoughts, it can also help you view the problem from a slightly different angle, which might give you insight into a solution.

Then, feel free to ball up the paper and toss it into the fireplace and visualize all that provocation simply going up in smoke – and away forever.

Featured photo credit: Stokpic via stokpic.com

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Nick Bastion

Love Expert, Relationship Coach, Author

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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