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Published on January 25, 2021

How To Exude Confidence Effortlessly in 5 Easy Steps

How To Exude Confidence Effortlessly in 5 Easy Steps

Nothing looks better on you than confidence. We all want to feel confident and exude confidence in life. We often look for the good things in life to make us feel confident—a successful career, a great relationship, lots of money, making a difference in the world, and being the best we can be.

The irony is this: you often need to find the confidence first before success comes to you. Feeling confident first helps you be your best.

The good news is that confidence is something you create! The key to your success in all areas of your life is having the confidence to do it, the belief that you can do it, and that you have the ability to do it. We need the confidence to go through both the high and lows that life will throw at us.

Confidence is not about being fearless, it’s about going for what you desire in the face of fear and uncertainty. It’s about knowing you can handle yourself in any situation, even if you don’t know it all.

So, how do you create that confidence inside yourself when you don’t feel it? Here are the 5 steps for you to exude confidence effortlessly and become unstoppable:

1. Use Positive Body Language

The body speaks before you speak. How you hold yourself has a direct effect on your physiology, which affects your emotions and confidence. One of the simplest ways to change your internal state from insecurity to confidence is to shift your body language.

Think of a time when you were frustrated, depressed, or had low energy: What was your posture like? How did you hold your head? Your neck? Your spine? What was your breathing like?

Now, think of a time when you felt unstoppable and powerful. How were you holding your body? What was your posture like then? Did you make eye contact? Did you smile?

Notice the difference in those two visual representations of a low-confidence state and a high-confidence state. Now, practice standing in a confident posture. Feel the emotions of being unstoppable. Feel how good your body feels in that position. Realize how it makes other people look at you with more confidence. Get even more confidence from how others feel about you seeing you stand in that powerful position.

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Harvard researcher Amy Cuddy noted, in her 2012 Ted Talk, that research shows that standing in a powerful body posture increases testosterone and reduces cortisol hormone release while standing in a weak position decreases testosterone and increases feelings of stress.

She refers to the strong pose as the Wonder Woman pose, with your hands on your hips, back straight, face held high. This pose, in particular, enhanced the emotions of confidence quickly and effortlessly.

One of the fastest ways to change your confidence level and exude confidence is to change your body posture, so use this any time you feel lacking in emotional confidence. Remember that changing the body also changes the mind.

2. Upgrade Your Thoughts

In general, we go through the day in one of two major thought patterns: worry, doubt, and fear, or abundance, love, and gratitude. Confidence obviously comes from a positive thought pattern.

If our typical thought pattern is negative, we have to learn how to shift it into the pattern of confidence. By first identifying what our internal self-talk is saying, we can then make a conscious choice to shift it.

Our words create our emotions, which then follow through in our actions. If we are not confident, many times we can trace it back to the words we’re using and the story we are telling ourselves.

Your inner dialogue has a direct relationship to your confidence. Positive self-talk can help you exude confidence. It should be the first thing you look at when increasing your level of confidence. Just look at your current emotional state and ask yourself what thoughts led you to that state.

When you catch yourself in a negative dialogue, the key is to shift your thoughts into the positive of that situation. Is it the situation or your thoughts about the situation that feel the most negative? What scenario could make this a more positive situation?

By doing that, you’ll begin to change your internal state, moving you towards positivity and confidence in any situation.

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3. Know Who You Are

Knowing your values creates confidence. Knowing what you stand for shows how confident you are. What do you value? What do you stand for? If you can’t express your values clearly, then you need to do a values exercise.

To understand what’s important to you, list out the 5 things that are most important to you in life, and what you believe you stand for.

Here are some examples:

  • God
  • Family
  • Career
  • Health
  • Community
  • Creativity,
  • Making a difference
  • Having fun
  • Freedom

Now, list them in order of importance. Simply taking the time to ask yourself what matters and what you want to stand for gives you clear confidence on where you spend your time, money, and energy, and helps you avoid the false feeling of missing out on things that don’t apply to your values.

If you are living your life without clear values, you’ll be in a constant battle of questioning what matters, and that will drain your confidence or force you to look to other people to give you confidence.

Knowing what you stand for and knowing who you instantly build inner confidence. It allows you to interact with the world and exude confidence.

Know thyself—knowing who you are creates the confidence you need to shine.

4. Be Present

Being present in every moment allows you to connect with your gifts and talents. It allows you to make mindful choices with your thoughts and actions that give you confidence in what you are doing.

When you’re 100% present, you can have 100% confidence. Being present allows you to let go of the past, and create a future full of what you want. If you’re stuck in the past, you can’t be fully confident, especially if you are looking at a bunch of negative situations from the past.

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Confidence requires a fully present mindset, forgetting the past, targeting the future you want, and moving forward powerfully in the present moment to get what you want. One of the quickest ways to get into the present moment is cultivating a mindset called “Timefulness”.

In my book, The Time Cleanse, I discuss how to use Timefulness to discover not only how you are using your time and relating to time in the present moment but also how to instantly improve your relationship with it.

First, take a look at your current thoughts and ask yourself: “am I currently in an antagonistic relationship with time, feeling like it’s being taken from me, or do I feel like time is on my side, a partner and ally, and that I am using my current time to move towards exactly what I want in exactly the way I want?”

If you find yourself thinking thoughts like “I don’t have enough time,” “where did the time go?” or “if time allows,” then you need to change your current relationship with time from negative to positive.

To drop into the mindset of timefulness, first, recognize that time comes from you. You are the source of your time. You get to determine what you do with it.

Secondly, recognize that time is your most valuable possession. It is more valuable than gold or diamonds. You need your time to do literally everything you want to do in life.

Third, recognize that time is your best friend. Time is your ally, on your side, ready to work for you and help you accomplish anything and everything that you desire. All your dreams will be accomplished with the help of time.

Lastly, feel gratitude for the time you have in this present moment, and see the positive outcome that you are going to use this time for. Now, approach the current moment with full confidence that time is on your side!

5. Find Self-Compassion

The last major thing we need to exude confidence effortlessly is self-compassion. This might sound counterintuitive—shouldn’t a confident person not need compassion? But actually, it’s the exact opposite.

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A confident person can take risks and have courage in the face of adversity. Self-compassion means being there for yourself in a supportive way in the face of failure, adversity, and challenges.

Research shows that self-compassion increases grit, the ability to recover from a setback, and our willingness to take positive risks.[1] That is what builds self-confidence and helps you exude confidence!

Self-compassion is the secret weapon that allows people to make mistakes and take hits in life, recover fully from them, get back up, and keep going forward with full confidence.

To provide some self-compassion for yourself, simply do the following 3 Steps:

  1. Take a deep breath and become aware of any negative feelings or thoughts you are having.
  2. Acknowledge that it’s not just you. “I am not alone. Many others are going through this same experience now.”
  3. Repeat kind words and phrases to yourself, such as “may I be supported,” “may I be loved,” “may I be protected,” and “may I be at ease and productive.”

Continue the process with patience, allowing for the opportunity for your perceptions to shift off the current situation. This will ground you and help stabilize your emotions.

Best of all, when you have a setback, you’ll be ready to get back up sooner than later and get back in the game. There’s nothing more confident than that.

Self-compassion isn’t letting yourself off the hook or not holding yourself accountable for your results, actions, and performance. This is not giving yourself a trophy for coming in the last place. It’s about being there for yourself as a good friend or coach would be there in the face of challenges. It’s taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally when the chips are down. It’s bringing your best self to yourself when you need it most and along with it increased confidence!

Final Thoughts

Some people are naturally more confident than others. But that doesn’t mean that some people cannot exude confidence. It’s something that you can learn in your life.

Take these 5 easy steps whenever you need a boost of confidence, and you’ll be able to exude more confidence than ever!

More Tips on How to Exude Confidence

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Steven Griffith

Steven is an Executive Coach. He's been helping the world’s most successful people perfrom at their peack level.

20 Essential Leadership Qualities Of A Great Leader How To Start Small And Make Your Goals Happen How to Be Determined and Achieve Your Goals How To Exude Confidence Effortlessly in 5 Easy Steps How To Take Responsibility For Your Action And Your Life

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

11 Positive Thoughts for Your Everyday Motivation

11 Positive Thoughts for Your Everyday Motivation

The power of positive thoughts cannot be denied, even though sometimes it can seem a little like a cliché when you hear people talking about it. Well, I’m here to tell you that cliché or not, the mental and physical benefits of thinking positively are a proven way to give you more confidence, improve your self-esteem, give you motivation, and generally put you in a better mood. Thinking of at least one positive thought every day can have significant benefits for you.

Some scientific studies even suggest that thinking positively can reduce the likelihood of health conditions, like depression, hypertension, and a variety of other stress-related disorders.

This sounds amazing, but what does it really mean to think positively?

Positive thinking isn’t about finding your inner smile. Many people rarely have what they would consider joyous inner thoughts but that doesn’t mean they can’t be content with themselves and their life.

Positive thinking (thinking of positive thoughts every day) is more about finding the positive imagery in your life and viewing things through more optimistic eyes, especially if you’ve got yourself into a rut of seeing things negatively.

The biggest problem with positive thoughts is that they wear off quickly and things like rejection, negative experiences, setbacks, and heartbreak can soon put you into a downward spiral that gets you back into that negative funk you hate.

And, let’s be honest, being in a negative funk is a sure-fire way to strip your motivation and leave you unable to perform at the levels you know you can. If you’re looking for an instant way to boost your motivation, join the free Fast-Track Class – Activate Your Motivation. It’s a free intensive session that can help you identify your inner drive and build a sustinable motivation engine. You can sign up for the free session here.

So, how do you keep yourself positive in a world that seems hell-bent on bringing you down? Well, with the right routine of positive thoughts you can ensure that you wake up every day feeling motivated and looking forward to everything life has to throw at you.

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Here are some tips so you can start thinking of positive thoughts every day.

1. Be Thankful You Woke up This Morning

Not to start on a morbid note, but you woke up this morning. Some people didn’t. Don’t think of it is as a depressing morality tale, just use it to remember that you’ve won the greatest gift life has to offer – you’re alive.

It’s so easy to dwell on the negative aspects of our lives, but we always seem to miss the most obvious positive thing we have – life itself. Take a deep breath, look outside your window, and marvel at the world around you.

2. You Don’t Have to Listen to Haters

There’s no doubt that some people are really mean-spirited individuals who will love to ruin your day. Well, I’m here to tell you they can’t. Not if you don’t let them.

Ignore the haters. Dismiss their bile for what it is – vicious comments of unfulfilled people. Remind yourself that you are above them and nothing they say will bring you down.

3. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

I know, I know. It’s easy to say, “Don’t compare yourself with anybody else.” But at the end of the day, we all have envious thoughts when we see somebody we perceive to be more successful than we are.

But think about it, are they really better than you and even if they are, does it even matter? By spending time being jealous you are wasting time on negative thoughts that could be spent pursuing something that makes you happy.

4. You Must Take a Chance

It’s easy to shy away from something that is high risk and high reward out of fear of being labeled a loser.

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Have you ever noticed that doing so actually makes you feel worse than if you’d just taken the risk in the first place? We know that rejection feels bad and failure can weigh heavily, but regret is a far stronger emotion over time.

Don’t hesitate if you have the chance. Go for it and tell yourself that if you fail, it’s no big deal. At least you tried.

Perhaps the perfect example of this approach is David Goggins. We all have a lot to learn from the inspirational David Goggins story and his priceless sayings.[1]

Goggins, considered by many to be ‘the toughest man alive’, is a retired Navy SEAL and the only person ever to complete SEAL training, the U.S. Army Ranger School, and Air Force Tactical Air Controller training. He’s also one of the world’s top endurance athletes and held the Guinness World Record for pull-ups, completing 4,030 in 17 hours.

He sounds like a ‘naturally gifted badass person’ right? But in his book, he reveals that he was actually ‘The weakest man in the world’, in his own words.

Overcoming obesity, poverty, racism, learning disabilities, abusive violent father, he came through the other side, inspiring people to embrace suffering and struggle, to find their greatness and inner peace. He took the slim chances he had and changed his life completely.

5. Accept That Things End

Even the best things in life end eventually, so don’t worry about them. Don’t fret about how the good times are about to stop, just enjoy them while they last. And when they do finally end, be happy in the knowledge that something else just as good will come along.

6. Don’t Judge Others

This ties in with point number 2 above – you won’t like it if others judge you so don’t judge them. We know it can be difficult to refrain from labeling other people, but doing so is a sure-fire way to start descending into a negative thought spiral.

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We all live in a world where passing judgment is tolerated, but not only is accepting people a great way to make others feel better, it’s also a fantastic way to foster positive thoughts within ourselves.

7. Don’t do Things for Others That Make You Unhappy

We all want to make other people happy, right? But what if the things that other people want us to do makes us unhappy?

If you’re doing something just for the satisfaction of others, don’t. Stop it right now. Your happiness and your time should never be sacrificed for the satisfaction of someone else. You won’t be able to think of positive thoughts every day if you are unhappy in the first place.

8. Don’t Like Your Job? Then Quit.

Okay, that’s a little dramatic, but nothing is more certain to drain your happiness levels quicker than a job that you hate. If you spend your evenings and days off dreading returning to the office, then start to do something about it.

We’re not talking about jeopardizing your livelihood by quitting (although the dramatic heading for this point certainly suggests so). What we mean is start to make plans and formulize an exit strategy. Nothing promotes positive thoughts more than a plan that removes something negative from your life.

Start simple by saving up funds to make the change and circulating your CV. The first step may seem difficult, but the sense of relief it gives will improve your thought patterns immeasurably.

It might be scary to start over at someplace new and going through a screening process that might be tedious, but once you understand that selling yourself can be easier than you think, you are halfway through.[2]

9. Take Control of Your Mornings

How you begin the day will set the tone for how the rest of it will go. Getting up in a panicked state is a very efficient way to kick start a negative emotional spiral. Get up bright and early, and give yourself time to prepare for the day.

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Though some of the mind-boggling thoughts you are having when waking up can be positive for you and even mean more than you imagine, it’s better to set up a fixed positive mental routine.

Think about the positive aspects of your life and tell yourself things like, “Today is going to be a good day” or “I’ll be amazing today.” Yeah, I know this sounds cheesy, but positive words instill positive thoughts.

10. Focus on the Good Things in Your Life No Matter How Small

You’re going to hit obstacles during the day. Things don’t generally run perfectly all the time. The trick is that when you encounter a challenge, don’t dwell on it and choose to focus on the positives you can find no matter how small they may seem.

If you get stuck in a traffic jam, don’t fret about how it is slowing you down. Take positivity in the fact that you have extra time to listen to the radio station you have been enjoying. If you head to your local store and it’s out of the ingredients you need for your dinner party, buy something else and create a different food masterpiece.

Focussing on good things is a great way to gain positive momentum in your life. The huge power of momentum is that even a series of very small things can accumulate to massive results – with the aid of momentum.

11. Look at the Funny Side

Even dark situations can have a humorous side if you look at them the right way. When in a dark or trying situation, remind yourself that what is happening to you will probably make a great story in the future and may even be passed on as a joke. Look for the funny side and laugh.

Final Thoughts

We all know that positive thoughts can be incredibly motivational but in modern life, it can be difficult to stay uplifted when the world around you seems determined to bring you down. By following some of the tips in our guide above, you could harness the power of positive thinking and find yourself starting every day motivated. So, start thinking of positive thoughts every day!

More Tips to Start Thinking of Positive Thoughts Every Day

Featured photo credit: Jacob Townsend via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Vision, Belief, Change: Best David Goggins Quotes
[2] Vision, Belief, Change: Is Selling Yourself Easier Than You Thought?

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