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Having A Difficult Conversation? Here Are 5 Tips To Make It A Breeze

Having A Difficult Conversation? Here Are 5 Tips To Make It A Breeze

We all face the prospect of having a difficult conversation every now and then. It may be talking to your partner about a sensitive topic, or confronting family and friends about things that make you unhappy. Maybe you need to have a difficult talk with your child’s school teacher, or you need to confront a neighbor about an issue. It may even be just negotiating your way out of a difficult situation or asking for a pay rise that is a challenge for you to discuss.

When we are alone, we know all the things that we want to say, but once we are faced with the moment of truth, it is easy to clam up and lose what could be an excellent opportunity to resolve an unpleasant situation.

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Here are 5 tips for making difficult conversations a breeze.

1. Make A List

Is the conversation even worth having? Sometimes we react emotionally to a situation and need some time to reflect on the problem before shooting our mouth off. Making a list of things about how the conversation will improve the situation may show us if it is in fact going to make the issue better or worse.

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2. Calm Down

Taking some time to assess the problem will allow you to stabilize your emotions. The best way to have a difficult conversation is to be level-headed and pragmatic. There is no point confronting someone when you are angry or upset. You can still communicate those feelings to them without making a scene and sabotaging the process of resolution.

3. Perfect Timing

It is best to have a difficult conversation with someone when you can both have discretion and give each other your full attention. If you are going to be distracted and interrupted, the message and possible solution is going to get lost in the chaos. You have all the time in the world. Don’t rush it. Pick your moment.

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4. Be Assertive

Being assertive is not being aggressive, it’s being strong enough to stick to your argument and making sure you have your say. If you are interrupted and the person becomes defensive – wait. Give them the time to have their say, but then return to your own point of view. Assertive also does not mean stubborn. Sometimes, people have a valid reason for their behavior. Being open to change your mind and understand another person’s experience doesn’t make you weak; actually, it makes you the bigger person.

5. Take The Small Wins

Having a difficult conversation will not always give you the outcome you envisioned. It’s not about winning or losing. It’s about communicating your feelings and perspective, and hopefully doing things better next time. A difficult conversation is always worth having, even if it is just to get things off your chest.

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Featured photo credit: quotesgram.com via quotesgram.com

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Diane Koopman

Writer, Author, Novelist, Self-Publisher

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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