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How To Get Over Someone You Love

Written by Jenny Marchal
A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.
Dr. E. Magdalena Battles has a PhD in Academic and Clinical Psychology, a Master’s Degree in Professional Counseling, and a Bachelor of Science Degree in Child Psychology.

Fact Checked. Our dedicated editorial team tirelessly evaluates every article we publish to ensure the information is factual, up-to-date and free of bias.

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Heartbreaks and the pain that comes with it can be really agonizing. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to deal with it since nobody has a handbook that gives you specific instructions explaining how to get over someone you love.

While some require less time to move on, others spend months, or sometimes more, mourning over the lost love. In whatever stage of grief you are in, it is important to remember that life does not end there. You should never give up on love.

It is okay to feel a certain amount of grief, but sooner or later, you may need to reach out for help to get you through this difficult phase.

For now, peruse the coming section to find out how you can begin to get over a breakup.

11 Tips on How to Get Over Someone You Love

There is no rule book that can give you the specifications about how long it will take to get over the grief, but let these tips be your guide.

1. Remember There’s No Time Limit

You need to allow yourself time to feel sad, but there is no need to pressure yourself to meet a certain time frame. Know that time dims almost every conceivable grief.

How long it takes to get over someone you love, depends on how deep your love was. Some people require less time to get over their breakup, while others need more time depending on their attachment style and their coping mechanisms.


Couples who have spent more time together in a relationship may need more time to heal and move on with their lives once their relationship is over. However long it will be, allow yourself to take in the time to heal and and learn how to move on from someone.

Remember that it is important to spend the time necessary in grief since it gives you proper closure and opens the door to a new chapter of your life.

If you want to know how to recover from a breakup, give it time.

2. Let Yourself Feel Your Emotions

Love involves a great bundle of emotions that you can experience intensely. These emotions bond you with your partner, and when the relationship fails, you are likely to experience a flood of negative emotions.

It is important for you to take these emotions in with grace and consideration. The emotional pain that you feel after a heartbreak is known to be similar to depression symptoms, making it crucial for you to take care of yourself.[1]

You need to accept these negative emotions if you want to know how to recover from a broken relationship. Do not stop yourself from feeling such emotions since these are all a part of the healing process. It will allow you to get over the relationship.

You might feel sad, angry, or hurt – it may seem unbearable. Some feel denial or desperation, which might keep recurring. However, these feelings or emotions help us through the grieving process.


There will be times when you feel that this hurt will never go away. However, it is important to remember that nothing is permanent. Like any other feeling, these painful emotions shall pass.

3. Remove Your Ex From Social Media and Your Phone

This is probably the most practical tip you could follow if you want to learn how to get over a breakup. Social media helps us stay connected with the lives of our near and dear ones, but it is no place to see constant reminders of your ex.

There is a good reason why it is advisable to remove their contact from your mobile phone. While grieving, you might either decide to go back to the broken relationship or pick up the phone and say something that you might regret later.

Since you already reached a stage where you are grieving over the other person, knowing more about their lives would only bring more grief.

It’s not helpful to keep tabs on their lives after the breakup. Remember that you are not a stalker and that there is no need for the other person to impact your life now.

Therefore, the first thing you should do is remove your ex from your social media account and phone. Also, remember that you are doing yourself a great favor by doing so. It will allow you to get over all the negativity associated with your broken relationship.


When you remove them from your social media and phone, you assure your heart that now these people are a thing of the past and that you need to move on with your life.

4. Remember To Love Yourself

After a separation, your brain tends to bombard you with an array of thoughts that sometimes include blaming yourself for the failed relationship.

Feeling you weren’t good enough is never a good thing for your self-respect. Your self-image should never be linked to a failed relationship.

Therefore, spend some time loving yourself. This would be a good time to pamper yourself with things and experiences that make you feel good.

Plan a vacation to a place you always wanted to or buy that expensive attire you had your eye on. Even indulging in a breakup playlist can give you some relief.[2]

Alternatively, you can make a list of all the things that are so impressive and good about you. All these things will allow you to fall in love with yourself again!


Creating and maintaining a positive self-image is an important part of loving yourself.

5. Write Down How You Feel

Your pen and paper have unfathomable power. Keep a journal of how you feel during this phase, and then read your entries aloud.

This will allow you to gain a clearer perspective and observe things as an outsider. Reflect on how you are ready to move on with your life.

Then put these papers in a box and peep them away, or simply dispose of them.

You do not have to feel stuck with old feelings that make you feel worse. You can dispose of those negative feelings just like how you disposed of the paper, and let go.

You can even make a list of things that bothered you while you were in the relationship. Keep this list a reminder of what you have gained after your breakup.

6. Turn Your Energy Into Something Positive

It is natural to feel down and to have low energy levels after going through the breakup. Some might even resort to eating chocolates or just feeling sorry for themselves in front of the TV.

Instead, use this time to lift your spirits and bring back the same level of gusto you had before your breakup. You need to move on with life, and a great way you can begin is by putting energy into exercise.


Start cycling or running or do any physical activity that raises your endorphins. Regular exercise helps relieve all the stress that you developed during the grieving period.

7. Reignite Positivity by Meeting with People

Use your energy more positively by choosing to socialize and remind yourself of your charm. You can choose to meet your friends or family members to get out of the dull rut you are in and help you look at life with a positive outlook.

Remember that your life does not end with one failed relationship. It would really help to let go of the past and remind yourself of the wonderful relationships in your life.

8. Don’t Hold On To Anger And Blame

Holding onto outrage and blame for a long time can detrimentally affect you and the people around you. If you want to know how to recover from a breakup, then get rid of your anger and stop playing the blame game.

According to science, anger can cause the development of coronary heart disease, lead to other stress-related problems, digestive problems, and insomnia.[3]

You have to be prepared to go through the grieving process but remember never to divulge yourself into extreme negativity. Whenever you invest an excessive amount of energy in the space of faulting the other individual, you remove your personal power and give it to the other person.


When you find that you cannot let go of your negative feelings, you must consider how you can eliminate them from all aspects of your life. This might feel like the last thing you need to do, yet now and then, the right thing to do for yourself isn’t the most agreeable.

Remind yourself that you are doing this for yourself and no other person.

Recollect that nobody is truly at fault regardless of how things ended up. Harshness can consume you, and it’s vital to perceive when this is assuming control over your musings and sentiments. Remember not to blame anyone for the failure of your relationship. If it were not meant to be, then nothing you or your partner could have done would have stopped it from happening.

9. Don’t Torture Yourself

You can easily fall into the trap of thinking about why the relationship failed and contemplating whether there was something you might have done another way. These contemplations do no good but just let you torment yourself.

It’s normal to fantasize about how you might have improved or lament something you said or did that you feel might have added to the furthest limit of the relationship; however, this is not helpful.

Your psyche can go overdrive at times. Yet, you want to give your very best to quiet it down – regardless of whether it’s utilizing yoga, contemplation methods, or attempting to zero in on something different.

10. Remember There Isn’t Just One Person Out There For You

Life is full of experiences, and we encounter numerous people during our journey. It would be preposterous to think that you could only love once in your life.


Therefore, if you wish to know how to get over a breakup, remember that there are plenty of fish in the pond.

It is all a matter of having a positive perspective and showing a little faith. This relationship failure should indicate that your ex was not the best partner. New love still awaits you, but you will only be able to find it if you move forward with letting go of someone you currently love.

A failed relationship teaches you numerous things, which you must remember when you fall in love once again. Consider this an experience and shrug it off to move on with your search for true love.

11. There’s Always a Light At The End Of The Tunnel

You might feel like you are in obscurity for some time. It could feel that nothing is left in the world for you and that you will never find true love.

You may feel as if there is nothing left in the world. However, life continues. You will surely see the light at the end of the tunnel.

You will surely fall in love again and find that special someone who will fill your life with happiness. It is all a matter of having clear faith.


Remember that many others are in the same predicament as you are right now. And if you look around, you can easily find instances where such people did manage to learn how to recover from a breakup and fall in love once again.

Final Words

Love is a unique and special feeling that we humans can experience. However, not all relationships have a beautiful end, so it is important that you be a little practical and learn how to let go of someone. Do not let the past hold you back from enjoying your future. Learn how to get over a breakup with the tips mentioned in this write-up.


Don't have time for the full article? Read this.

How To Get Over Someone You Love

Love is a unique and special feeling that we humans can experience. However, not all relationships have a beautiful end, so it is important that you be a little practical and learn how to let go of someone.

Focus your energy on positive activities like exercise and spending time with family and friends.

Shrug this off as an experience, and remember there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Do not let the past hold you back from enjoying your future.

Featured photo credit: Simone Perrone via magdeleine.co


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