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5 Reasons Why It Is Okay Not To Be Nice

5 Reasons Why It Is Okay Not To Be Nice

In a society where “do unto others what you would have them do unto you” is drilled into us from a very young age it is no wonder that not being nice often doesn’t come naturally to most of us. Many of us go through life as if we are walking on eggshells; but sometimes it is necessary to tread on the shells even if it leaves a nasty mess behind. Let’s consider 5 reasons that justify not being nice.

1. It is ok not to be nice in the name of self-preservation.

If you are protecting yourself from harm and making sure that your sense of being stays intact, then it is definitely ok not to be nice. If you are a person who can only embark on a relationship that you know is going to be deep, then be true to this part of yourself. If you feel, for example, that someone is being frivolous and not taking your relationship with them seriously, then I say go ahead and be as mean as you like. People should learn to value who you are and what you hold dear.

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2. Being genuine is a must even if this requires you to be mean.

If you are standing up for what you believe in and ideals that you hold close, as far as I am concerned, there is a green light saying do what needs to be done. If you are say a passionate supporter of animal rights, then being genuine to this cause is a must and if this means being harsh or unforgiving to those who harm animals then do so. Often when we are genuine, people respect us more. So even if you have to tread on a few toes in the process, the end result may be worth it. It may be advisable to be mean, if you end up having people respect you and your values in the end.

3. Self-defense is definitely not always nice; but often necessary.

It is not just ok, but I would go as far as saying it is imperative to not be nice when someone is attacking you. Be it physically or emotionally, one should not give in to an attacker. Say someone is screaming at you in a parking lot, telling you that you stole his parking space, this is an example of a form of abuse. You must muster up your strength and be nasty. It is not always nice to admit but the world is filled with people who wish to do harm and in the name of self-defense it is always ok not to be nice.

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4. Being assertive means declaring your needs even if this is not the nice thing to do.

Life can be a struggle between our needs and the needs of others. Often it is about finding a balance between giving and taking. But what if we always find ourselves on the giving end of things. You may, for example, find it hard to tell your boyfriend that you need him to support your decision to take time apart so you can travel abroad. Sometimes it is necessary to do some taking, even if this means you may offend. It may not be essential to have all of your needs fulfilled but ensuring that you have a fair share of needs ticked off your list is a must. You should feel satisfied and you cannot do so if you are left feeling deprived.

5. Conflict is sometimes necessary and often demands an unkind persona.

Sometimes conflict is necessary. You may be having an argument with your colleague about the project that he or she took that was meant to be assigned to you. Shying away from this kind of confrontation scenario to keep up appearances is often the easy option. Putting your foot down and saying this is my project, this is where I draw the line, may be unpleasant for those of us who have had the ‘be nice’ mantra drilled into us, but being a pushover should not be an option. Don’t feel skirmish if a conflict situation arises, stand up and do what is needed.

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Although it may go against our instincts and intuition not being nice is often imperative if we are to maintain a healthy sense of who we are and what we believe in. We have seen 5 reasons why being mean is often necessary and there are sure to be many other reasons out there. So next time you find yourself holding back in order to be nice take a second to question your motives. Consider: Are you doing so out of habit? And Is being nice the right reaction here? You may find yourself answering: The time has come to be a bit mean.

Featured photo credit: Psychologies via psychologies.co.uk

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Rebecca Beris

Rebecca is a wellness and lifestyle writer at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

More About Staying Positive

Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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