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Last Updated on November 2, 2018

10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

Time flies and the past is behind us now. With the times that we’ve left behind, there are several trials and tribulations we go through in life; we learn from our mistakes and move on. However, there are moments we’ve had in the past that we just can’t let go of. We’re brought down, made emotional and we cry thinking about things that should never have happened to us.

But, it’s not the past that defines us. As psychologist Carl Jung says: “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” We all choose to become what we desire and want and we should not regret about the things that did not go well in the past as they only make our shoulders heavy and hold us back from a cheerful life.

Here are 10 simple steps to let go of the past.

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1. Recognize that it’s time to move on

The hardest part of letting go of the past is trying to make decisions to move on. Yes, it’s pretty hard to make new choices that can overcome our misdeeds in life but you should always remember that you have a future to share. You’ve already paid for the past and if that’s not working out for you, you need to recognize that it’s time to move on.

2. Make a list of things you can “re-do”

Life does not give you a second chance all the time. But, what you can do is make a list of things that you would have done differently if you could go back in time and do it again. Making such list will help you to learn from your mistakes while also giving ideas on what things should have been done right. You also develop a skill to plan things and this will surely help you shape your future goals in life.

3. Believe in yourself

Pain and suffering are parts of everyone’s life and if you believe in yourself, you’ll overcome the grief sooner than everyone else. All you need to do is make sure you know what you are doing and it’ll not let you hold back in forgetting your past. When you start believing yourself, you develop a positive vibe around you and these feelings you gain will help to overshadow the mistakes and bad memories that haunt you.

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4. Meditate

If you’re frustrated and depressed because of things that happened in the past and nothing worked to change your feelings towards it, you need to start meditating. Find stillness, remain calm and take long breathes. With meditation, you get to keep yourself away from the busy and fast paced noisy world. You keep yourself away from distractions and make yourself at ease with meditation.

5. Live in the present

If you don’t enjoy the life that you are living, you future is certainly going to be dark. You should have no regrets that eat up your thinking and you need to live in present. What’s done is done and there’s no going back. Go on a hike with your friends or dance, sing and do what ever you love to do. It’s make you lively and energize you to focus on things that you need to accomplish right now.

6. Forget the fear

If you’ve ever failed in the past, chances are it’s developed a sense of fear in you. If you can’t overcome the fear of your failing and wrong-doing, you’ll get tensed and things won’t work out smoothly. Become a challenger and forget the fear. Think about things that you’re afraid to do and try to perform them, one at a time and overcome the fear. If it’s still difficult, find someone you believe to help you overcome your fear.

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7. Don’t forget your morals and values

If you’re to perform better in life, you need to stick to your morals and values. There’s no denying that the bad events in life develop a feeling of change in us and changes are not good every time. Stick to your beliefs and morals to develop a self-esteem and pride. This plays a huge role in order to develop a positive attitude towards your life.

8. Forgive

Mistakes happen but holding back and remembering the same thing again and again will do nothing good to anyone. If you’ve made mistakes, apologize, console and forgive yourself. If it’s your close ones who’ve hurt you in the past and you just can’t let go of it, acknowledge the fact that they are the one’s you trusted back. You need to learn to forgive and move on to find happiness.

9. Let go of anger and resentment

Anger and resentment are toxic and these feelings will keep you enmeshed in the past. It’ll bring you down to the ground and hurt you more. Letting go of anger will help you to develop positive attitude and you might want to punch on the wall or a pillow, or scream; do it. Vent your anger and frustration. It might take time, but after you leave anger and resentment, you’ll start feeling fresh.

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10. Realize that you did what you could do best

Perceptions shape our feelings and actions. The way you respond to what you did in your past will help you decide on your present and future. If you’ve a feeling of guilt or remorse at things you could have done better, realize that you did what you could do best at that moment. If you acknowledge the fact, you’ll also learn that your effort was never intended to go in vain. This will keep you motivated to improve and thrive for the better in the future.

Featured photo credit: Esmeweatherwax via pixabay.com

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Grishma Giri

Content Creator and Strategist

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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